And now what you need is to deepen within you, by prayer and meditation, this sense of inward destitution, until your whole soul is filled with the longing desire for relief; until your one earnest and heartfelt prayer is for that repentance that needeth not to be repented of,- for that pardon so freely vouchsafed, through Christ, to every penitent, humble soul. Could you once feel that your will was God's will, your purposes and desires one with his, that you were his child, and that everything which befalls you on your pilgrimage, every circumstance of your changing life, is ordered by his perfect wisdom and love, you would no longer restlessly fret against your daily surroundings, or say to yourself that a different position would impart what you inwardly need; for there would be in the soul itself the repose and trust of the little child in its Father's home,- and would not such a trust be happiness? Hitherto, the circumstances of your outward life have, in some measure, concealed from you your true character, especially as you have but recently contemplated your inner life with that close and searching scrutiny which the question, "How far have I any claim to the Christian name?" ever demands. Your lot thus far has been comparatively a sheltered one. In the sanctuary of home the fiercer temptations have not assailed you. You have not been called to test the strength of your principles or your power of resistance by conflict with the sternest and most bitter forms of human trial. You have enjoyed many religious privileges in the instructions of the Church, and from your earliest years the Scriptures have been within your reach. You have often chosen and done the right, but you now feel that this was the result rather of mere external influences, than of any firm, deliberate choice in the soul. Your faith has been that of the intellect, not of the heart. You have made resolves, planned duties, and sought, for a time, zealously to fulfil them, but have often failed, because you have relied on your own strength alone. You have sometimes engaged in works of benevolence, and have doubtless done something to alleviate the sorrows and sufferings of others; but even such works have afforded no abiding satisfaction, for often they have been engaged in with far too much of self-reference, rather than in the simple desire to follow in the Master's steps, with a feeling as if by the performance of such duties you were earning a title to self-approval: You have believed in God, that is, you have said to yourself that you believed in him as an all-wise and holy Creator; but you have not lived as in the presence of a Father, encompassing your whole path, reading each secret thought, watching each flitting desire, and answering each true and - heavenward aspiration, - a God of holiness not to be trifled with, a God of justice not to be gainsaid, a God of love desiring nothing so much as that every child of his should be righteous and safe. You have spoken in general terms of Christ as the Saviour of the world; but you have not felt your personal indebtedness to him, your personal need of him, as the only Reconciler of the soul to God. Your thoughts have often rested on the future; but there has been too little keenness of spiritual perception for you to cherish, hitherto, much, if any, doubt as to your acceptance with God. You have thought your situation safe because you evinced an outward respect for religion, were guilty of no flagrant sins, and bore, to the world's eye, a correct moral character. But you now feel that such a state of mind is far from being a right, safe, or Christian state, and ask: "How shall I render my present dissatisfaction the means of true repentance and of spiritual growth? What is my first duty? How shall I attain to a realizing Christian faith?" I reply: First of all, study the Scriptures with a direct, personal reference to your own wants, desires, and needs. Study them now, not for intellectual knowledge, not for criticism, but as the direct revelation of God's will and law to your own soul, as containing your only true standard of judgment, your only chart and inspiration. Read the Sermon on the Mount, and apply its divine precepts, one by one, to your own feelings, words, habits, and dispositions, so that you may see how far your inward life accords with its high standard, as manifested in the life of the Redeemer. "Blessed are the pure in heart," the humble, the meek, the forgiving, the forbearing; "blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness," not with a faint longing, an indefinite desire, a vague aspiration, but with an earnest, hearty, whole-souled seeking after purity and holiness. "Judge not, that ye be not judged; forgive, as ye would be forgiven; as ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them," in kindness, gentleness, sympathy, forbearance, charity. Does your past life bear witness to fidelity even in these simple requirements? But you are bidden to take up the cross daily, and follow Christ; to follow him in his self-renunciation, his self-sacrificing love, his devotion to God, his love to man. Is such Have you case? begun resolutely and in earnest to lead such a life? your Read and ponder those last sublime discourses of the Saviour with his disciples; and as you meditate on that love stronger than death, as you listen to his earnest words of affectionate entreaty and promise," Abide in me, and I in you; I will not leave you comfortless, I will come unto you," ask yourself, if you know from personal experience the blessed reality of those words,how far your outward life has been the result of this close, intimate relation of your soul to that of the Redeemer. Meditate, too, on the perfect holiness of God, and the requirements of his law, until you understand more truly what sin is; how abhorent in the sight of Infinite Purity, how hateful in view of Perfect Holiness! Meditate upon it until you deeply feel that the state of alienation from God in which you have been contented to live, the coldness and indifference which have characterized so much of your past life, are in themselves sins of fearful moment. Living beneath the eye of the greatest and holiest of beings, enjoying every moment blessings from his hand more than you can recount, depending upon his watchful love and guardian care for every breath you draw, upon the inworking of his ever-present Spirit for every power of mind you exercise, upon his tender mercy, vouchsafing to you so many sources of the purest happiness through the exercise of your kindly affections, you have yet been content to pass days and weeks and months, as if all of these things depended only on the exercise of your own strength, as if they were rightfully your own, and derived from your own powers alone. These uncounted, infinite favors of the |