SHORT NOTES FOR CIVIL CONVERSATION. 1. To deceive men's expectations generally with cautel, argueth a staid mind, and unexpected constancy viz. in matters of fear, anger, sudden joy, or grief, and all things which may affect or alter the mind in public or sudden accidents, or such like. 2. It is necessary to use a steadfast countenance, not wavering with action, as in moving the head or hand too much, which sheweth a fantastical, light, and fickle operation of the spirit, and consequently like mind as gesture: only it is sufficient, with leisure, to use a modest action in either. 3. In all kinds of speech, either pleasant, grave, severe, or ordinary, it is convenient to speak leisurely, and rather drawingly, than hastily; because hasty speech confounds the memory, and oftentimes, besides unseemliness, drives a man either to a nonplus or unseemly stammering, harping upon that which should follow; whereas a slow speech confirmeth the memory, addeth a conceit of wisdom to the hearers, besides a seemliness of speech and coun tenance. 4. To desire in discourse to hold all arguments, is ridiculous, wanting true judgment; for in all things no man can be exquisite. 5, 6. To have common places to discourse, and to want variety, is both tedious to the hearers, and shows a shallowness of conceit: therefore it is good to vary, and suit speeches with the present occasions; and to have a moderation in all our speeches, especially in jesting of religion, state, great persons, weighty and important business, poverty, or any thing deserving pity. 7. A long continued speech, without a good speech of interlocution, sheweth slowness: and a good reply, without a good set speech, showeth shallowness and weakness. 8. To use many circumstances, ere you come to the matter, is wearisome; and to use none at all, is but blunt. 9. Bashfulness is a great hindrance to a man, both of uttering his conceit, and understanding what is propounded unto him; wherefore it is good to press himself forwards with discretion, both in speech and company of the better sort. Usus promptos facit. |