369. Harris's Hermes.-Tristram Shandy.

Harris's Hermes was mentioned. I said, "I think the book is too abstruse; it is heavy." "It is; but a work of that kind must be heavy." "A rather dull man of my acquaintance asked me," said I, "to lend him some book to entertain him, and I offered him Harris's Hermes, and as I expected, from the title, he took it for a novel; when he returned it, I asked him how he liked it, and, what he thought of it? 'Why, to speak the truth,' says he, 'I was not much diverted; I think all these imitations of Tristram Shandy fall far short of the original!'" This had its effect, and almost produced from Johnson a rhinocerous laugh.

370. A rude Speech.

One of Dr. Johnson's rudest speeches was to a pompous gentleman coming out of Lichfield cathedral, who said, "Dr. Johnson, we have had a most excellent discourse to-day!" "That may be," said Johnson; " but, it is impossible that you should know it."

Of his kindness to me during the last years of his most valuable life, I could enumerate many instances. One slight circumstance, if any were wanting, would give an excellent proof of the goodness of his heart, and that to a person whom he found in distress. In such a case he was the very last man that would have given even the least momentary uneasiness to any one, had he been aware of it. The last time I saw him was just before I went to France. He said, with a deep sigh, " I wish I was going with you." He had just then been disappointed of going to Italy. Of all men I ever knew, Dr. Johnson was the most instructive.

PART IX.

ANECDOTES OF DR. JOHNSON,
BY MR. WICKINS. (1)

371. Deception.

WALKING one day with him in my garden at Lichfield, we entered a small meandering shrubbery, whose "vista not lengthened to the sight," gave promise of a larger extent. I observed, that he might perhaps conceive that he was entering an extensive labyrinth, but that it would prove a deception, though I hoped not an unpardonable one. "Sir," said he, " don't tell me of deception; a lie, Sir, is a lie, whether it be a lie to the eye or a lie to the ear."

372. Urns.

Passing on we came to an urn which I had erected to the memory of a deceased friend. I asked him how he liked that urn it was of the true Tuscan order. "Sir," said he, "I hate urns (2); they are nothing, they mean nothing, convey no ideas but ideas of horror - would they were beaten to pieces to pave our streets!"

373. Cold Baths.

We then came to a cold bath. I expatiated upon its salubrity. "Sir," said he, "how do you do?"

(1) Dr. Harwood informs me that Mr. Wickins was a respectable draper in Lichfield. It is very true that Dr. Johnson was accustomed to call on him during his visits to his native town. The garden attached to his house was ornamented in the manner he describes, and no doubt was ever entertained of the exactness of his anecdotes.- C.

(2) See a similar sentiment on the occasion of Mr. Myddleton's urn to himself, antè, Vol. IV. p. 2. — C.

"Very well, I thank you, Doctor."

Then, Sir, let well enough alone, and be content. I hate immersion.” Truly, as Falstaff says, the Doctor" would have a sort of alacrity at sinking.” (')

374. The Venus de' Medicis.

Upon the margin stood the Venus de' Medicis

"So stands the statue that enchants the world."

"Throw her," said he, "into the pond to hide her nakedness, aud to cool her lasciviousness."

375. Arcadia.

He then, with some difficulty, squeezed himself into a root-house, when his eye caught the following lines from Parnell :

"Go search among your idle dreams,

Your busy, or your vain extremes,
And find a life of equal bliss,

Or own the next began in this."

The Doctor, however, not possessing any silvan ideas, seemed not to admit that heaven could be an Arcadia.

376. Doing Good.

I then observed him with Herculean strength tugging at a nail which he was endeavouring to extract from the bark of a plum tree; and having accomplished it, he exclaimed, "There, Sir, I have done some good to-day; the tree might have festered. I make a rule, Sir, to do some good every day of my life."

377. Sterne's Sermons.

Returning through the house, he stepped into a small study or book-room. The first book he laid his hands

(1) A mistake- he was a good swimmer. See antè, Vol. VI. p. 218.-C.

upon was Harwood's (1) "Liberal Translation of the New Testament." The passage which first caught his eye was from that sublime apostrophe in St. John, upon the raising of Lazarus," Jesus wept;" which Harwood had conceitedly rendered " and Jesus, the Saviour of the world, burst into a flood of tears." He contemptuously threw the book aside, exclaiming, " Puppy!" I then showed him Sterne's Sermons. "Sir," said he, "do you ever read any others?" "Yes, Doctor; I read Sherlock, Tillotson, Beveridge, and others." 66 Ay, Sir, there you drink the cup of salvation to the bottom ; here you have merely the froth from the surface."

Garrick.

378. Shakspeare's Mulberry Vase. Within this room stood the Shakspearean mulberry vase, a pedestal given by me to Mr. Garrick, and which was recently sold, with Mr. Garrick's gems, at Mrs. Garrick's sale at Hampton. The Doctor read the inscription:

"SACRED TO SHAKSPEARE,

And in honour of

DAVID GARRICK, ESQ.

The Ornament-the Reformer

Of the British Stage." (2)

"Ay, Sir; Davy, Davy loves flattery; but here, indeed, you have flattered him as he deserves, paying a just tribute to his merit."

(1) The reader must bear in mind that this Doctor Edward Harwood, the same mentioned by Mr. Cradock, and who has been dead many years, is not to be confounded with Dr. Thomas Harwood, of Lichfield, who is now alive, and whose information is quoted at the beginning of this article. — C.

(2) [This vase is now in the rich collection of Thomas Hill, Esq., of the Adelphi. See Frazer's Mag. v. x. p. 172., and New Monthly Mag., v. xliv. p. 154., art. "Life of Gilbert Gurney."]

PART X.

ANECDOTES OF DR. JOHNSON,

BY MR. GREEN, OF LICHFIELD. (1)

Royal Society.

379. Dr. Kippis. DR. BROCKLESBY, a few days before the death of Dr. Johnson, found on the table Dr. Kippis's account of the Disputes of the Royal Society. Dr. Johnson inquired of his physician if he had read it, who answered in the negative. "You have sustained no loss, Sir. It is poor stuff, indeed, a sad unscholar-like performance. I could not have believed that that man would have written so ill.”

380. Dr. Warren.

Being desired to call in Dr. Warren, he said, they might call in any body they pleased; and Warren was called. At his going away, "You have come in," said Dr. Johnson, “at the eleventh hour; but you shall be paid the same with your fellow-labourers. Francis, put into Dr. Warren's coach a copy of the English Poets.'"

381. Fear of Death.

Some years before, some person in a company at Salisbury, of which Dr. Johnson was one, vouched for the company, that there was nobody in it afraid of death "Speak for yourself, Sir," said Johnson, " for indeed I am." "I did not say of dying,” replied the other; "but of death, meaning its consequences." "And so I mean," rejoined the Doctor; "I am very seriously afraid of the consequences."

(1) See antè, Vol. VI. p. 98.