Of Gramma rians. Too glaring Titles given to Offices, and illuftrious Sirnames mifapplied to Perfons of mean Talents. And to hear Men talk in Metonimies, Metaphors, Allegories, and fuch other Terms of Grammar, would not one think it fome rare and finical Form of Speaking? Another Impofition akin to this, is to call the Offices of our State by the lofty Titles of the Romans, though they have no Similitude of Function, and even less Authority and Power. And this alfo is as bad, which I doubt will one Day turn to the Reproach of this Age of ours, viz unworthily to confer upon any we think fit, the moft glorious Sirnames with which Antiquity honoured but one or two Perfonages, in feveral Ages. Plato carried away the Sirname of Divine, by fo univerfal a Confent, that never any one repined at it. And yet the Italians, who pretend, and with good Reafon, to be more fprightly and fenfible than the other Nations of their Time, have lately honoured Aretine with the fame Title; in whofe Writings, fave a tumid Phrase, fet out with fmart Turns, ingenious indeed, but far fetched and fantastick; and, befides the Eloquence, (be it what it will) I fee nothing in him above the common Writers of his Time, fo far is he from refembling this ancient Divinity. And we also give the Sirname of Great, to Princes that have no Greatness in them more than common. Parfimony of CHA P. LII. Of the Parfimony of the Ancients. Ama TTILIUS Regulus, General of the Roman Army' in Africk, in the Height of all his Glory and Victories over the Carthaginians, wrote Word to the Republick*, that a certain Hind he had left in Truft with his whole Eftate, which was in all but feven Acres of Land, was run away with all his Inftruments of Husbandry, intreating, therefore, that they would let him come Home, that he might take * Valer. Maxim. lib. iv. ch. 4. fect. 5. Care Care of his own Affairs, left his Wife and Children should be the Sufferers: Whereupon the Senate appointed another to manage his Eftate, caufed his Loffes to be made good, and ordered his Family to be maintained at the publick Expence. The elder Cato, returning Conful from And of Cato. Spain, fold his Field Horfe *, to fave the Money it would have coft in bringing him back by Sea into Italy; and being Governor of Sardinia, made all his Vifits on Foot, without other Train than one Officer of the Republick, who carried his Robe, and a Cenfer for Sacrifices; and, for the most Part, he carried his Mail himself. He bragged that he had never worn a Gown that coft above ten Crowns, nor had ever fent above Tenpence to the Market, for one Day's Provifion; and that, as to his Country Houses, he had not one that was rough caft on the Outfide. + Scipio Emilianus, after two Triumphs, and two Confulfhips, went on an Embaffy with no more than seven Servants in his Train. It is faid, that Homer had never more than one, Plato but three, and Zeno, Founder of the Sect of Stoicks, none at all . Tiberius Gracchus was allowed but Five-pence Half-penny a Day, when employed as a Commiffioner for the publick Affairs, though he was, at that Time, the first Man in Rome §. I CHA P. LIII. Of a Saying of Cæfar. F we would fometimes bestow a little Confideration upon ourselves, and employ the Time we spend in canvaffing other Men's Actions, and prying into Things that are foreign to us, in examining our own Hearts, Cc 3 Plutarch, in the Life of Cato the Cenfor, ch. 3. Maxim. lib. iv. ch. 3. fect. 13. Man's Imperfection demonrated by the Inconftancy of bis Defires. we + Valer. Seneca, in Confolat, ad Helvium, ch. 12. Plutarch, in the Life of Tiberius Gracchus, ch. 4 But here Montaigne mifemploys this Paffage, which makes nothing for his Purpofe; for lutarch there fays, exprefsly, That this little Sum was allowed to Tiberius Gracchus, purely to vex and mortify him. See Amyot's Tranflation. Book I. we should foon perceive of what weak and defective Materials this Fabrick of ours is compofed. Is it not a fingular Teftimony of Imperfection, that we cannot establish our Satisfaction in any one Thing, and that even our own Fancy and Defire, fhould deprive us of the Power to chufe what is moft neceffary for us? A very good Proof of this, is the great Difpute that has ever been amongst the Philofophers, of finding out Man's fovereign Good; a Difpute which continues yet, and will eternally continue, without being decided or determined. -Dum abeft quod avemus, id exuperare videtur, The abfent Thing we covet, beft doth feem, Whatever it is that falls into our Knowledge and Poffef fion, we find that it fatisfies not, and ftill pant after Things to come, and unknown, because the present do not fatiate us; not that, in my Judgment, they have not in them wherewith to glut us, but because we feize them with an unruly and immoderate Gripe. Nam cum vidit hic ad vitum quæ flagitat ufus, Omniaque illius vitio corrumpiter intùs Que collata foris, & commoda quæque venirent †. i. e. For when he faw all Things that had regard That Lucret. lib. iii. ver. 1095. Lucret. lib. vi. ver. 9, &c. That Men in Wealth and Honours did abound, That with a noble Race their Joys were crown'd; He then perceiv'd the Fault lay hid in Man, Our Appetite is irrefolute and fickle, it can neither keep nor enjoy any Thing with a good Grace: And Man concluding it to be the Fault of the Things he is poffeffed of, fills himfelf with, and feeds himself upon, the Idea of Things he neither knows nor underftands, to which he devotes his Hopes and his Defires, and pays them Reverence and Honour, according to the Saying of Cæfar, Communi fit vitio naturæ, ut invifis latitantibus atque incognitis rebus magis confidamus, vehementiúfque exterreamur. *. i. e. It is the common Vice of Nature, that we have moft Confidence in, and the greatest Fear of Things unfeen, concealed, and unknown. TH CHA P. LIV. Of Vain Subtilties. Poetry of an odd Fancy. HERE are a Sort of vain and frivolous Subtilties, from which Men fometimes expect to derive Applaufe; as the Poets who compofe whole Poems, with every Line beginning with the fame Letter: We fee the Shapes of Eggs, Globes, Wings, and Hatchets, cut out by the ancient Greeks, by the Measure of their Verses, making them longer or fhorter, to reprefent fuch or fuch a Figure. Of this Nature was his Employment, who made it his Bufinefs to compute into how many feveral Orders the Letters of the Alphabet might be tranfpofed, and found out that incredible Number mentioned in Plutarch +. De Bello Civili, lib. ii. + This was Alexander, as may be feen in Quintil. ftitut. Orat lib. ii. ch. 20, where he defines Maratovice, To Frivolous In dufry reward ed as it deferv. ed. I am mightily pleafed with the Humour of the Gentleman, who, having a Man brought before him, that had learned to throw a Grain of Millet, with fuch Dexterity, as never to mifs the Eye of a Needle; and being afterwards intreated to give fomething for the Reward of fo rare a Performance, he pleafantly, and, in my Opinion, very juftly, ordered two or three Bushels of the fame Grain to be delivered to him, that he might not want wherewith to exercife fo famous an Art. It is a strong Evidence of a weak Judgment, for Men to approve of Things for their being rare and new, or even for being difficult, when, at the fame Time, they are good for nothing at all. Inftances of Things that are kept up by the two Ex remities. I come juft now from playing with my own Family, at who could find out the moft Things that are held by their two Extremities; as, Sire, which is a Title given to the greatest Perfon in the Nation, viz. the King, and alfo to the Vulgar, as Tradesmen; but never to Men between them. The Women of great Quality are called Madams, Gentlewomen of the middle Rank, Mademoifelles, and the meanest Sort of Women, Madams, as the firft. The Canopys of State over Tables are not permitted, but in the Palaces of Princes, and Taverns *. Democritus faid, that the Gods and the Beafts were quicker of Apprehenfion than Men, who are in the middle Story. The Romans wore the fame Habit at Funerals and Feafts. It To be a certain unneceffary Imitation of Art, which really does neither Good nor Harm, but is as unprofitable and ridiculous, as was the Labour of that Man, who had fo perfectly learnt to caft small Pease through the Eye of a Needle, at a good Distance, that he never miffed one, and was juftly rewarded for it, as it is faid, by Alexander, who faw the • Performance, with a Bufhel of Peafe.' M. Barbeyrac, to whom I am obliged for this Paffage, obferves, that Montaigne has not told this Story very exactly, either becaufe his Memory failed him, or because, perhaps, he took it from fome other Hiftorian, though Quintilian seems to be the only o iginal Author of it. *Plutarch, De Placitis Philofophorum, lib. iv. ch. 10. |