your cousin: I must say, she is dead; and so, farewell. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-A Prison. Enter Dogberry, Verges, and Sexton, in gowns; and Sexton. But which are the offenders that are to be examined? let them come before master constable. Dogb. Yea, marry, let them come before me.What is your name, friend? Bora. Borachio. Dogb. Pray write down-Borachio.-Yours, sirrah? Con. I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade. Dogb. Write down-master gentleman Conrade. -Masters, do you serve God? Con. Bora. Yea, sir, we hope. Dogb. Write down-that they hope they serve God and write God first; for God defend but God should go before such villains!-Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves; and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves? Con. Marry, sir, we say we are none. Dogb. A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you; but I will go about with him.-Come you hither, sirrah; a word in your ear, sir; I say to you, it is thought you are false knaves. Bora. Sir, I say to you, we are none. Dogb. Well, stand aside.-Fore God, they are both in a tale: Have you writ down-that they are none? Sexton. Master constable, you go not the way to examine; you must call forth the watch that are their accusers. Dogb. Yea, marry, that's the eftest way :-Let the watch come forth :-Masters, I charge you, in the prince's name, accuse these men. 1 Watch. This man said, sir, that Don John, the prince's brother, was a villain. Dogb. Write down-prince John a villain :-Why this is flat perjury, to call a prince's brother-vil lain. Bora. Master constable, Dogb. Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down-an ass! but, masters, remember, that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass :-No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow; and, which is more, an officer; and, which is more, a housholder; and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina; and one that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath had losses; and one that hath two gowns, and every thing handsome about him :-Bring him away. O, that I had been writ down-an ass! ACT V. [Exeunt. SCENE I.-Before Leonato's House. Ant. If you go on thus, you will kill yourself; And 'tis not wisdom, thus to second grief Against yourself. Leon. I pray thee, cease thy counsel, Which falls into mine ears as profitless As water in a sieve: give not me counsel; Nor let no comforter delight mine ear, But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine. Bring me a father, that so lov'd his child, Whose joy of her is overwhelm'd like mine, And bid him speak of patience; Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine, And let it answer every strain for strain; As thus for thus, and such a grief for such, In every lineament, branch, shape, and form: If such a one will smile, and stroke his beard: Cry-sorrow, wag! and hem, when he should Patch grief with proverbs; make misfortune drunk With candle-wasters; bring him yet to me, And I of him will gather patience. But there is no such man: For, brother, men Can counsel, and speak comfort to that grief Which they themselves not feel; but, tasting it, Their counsel turns to passion, which before Would give preceptial medicine to rage, Fetter strong madness in a silken thread, Charm ach with air, and agony with words: No, no; 'tis all men's office to speak patience To those that wring under the load of sorrow ; groan ; Dogb. Pray thee, fellow, peace; I do not like thy But no man's virtue, nor sufficiency, look, I promise thee. Sexton. What heard you him say else? 2 Watch. Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John, for accusing the lady Hero wrongfully. Dogb. Flat burglary, as ever was committed. Serton. What else, fellow? 1 Watch. And that count Claudio did mean, upon his words, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and not marry her. Dogb. O villain! thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this. Sexton. What else? 2 Watch. This is all. To be so moral, when he shall endure Enter Don Pedro and Claudio. Ant. Here comes the prince, and Claudio, hastily. Good day to both of you. Are you so hasty now ?-well, all is one. [man. D. Pedro. Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old Ant. If he could right himself with quarrelling, Some of us would lie low. Leon. Marry, Thou, thou dost wrong me; thou dissembler, thou: Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword, Marry, beshrew my hand, I say, thou hast belied mine innocent child; And she lyes buried with her ancestors: Leon. Thine, Claudio; thine I say. D. Pedro. You say not right, old man. Leon. My lord, my lord, I'll prove it on his body, if he dare; Despite his nice fence, and his active practice, His May of youth, and bloom of lustyhood. Claud. Away, I will not have to do with you. Leon. Canst thou so daff me? Thou hast kill'd my child; If thou kill'st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man. Ant. He shall kill two of us, and men indeed; But that's no matter; let him kill one first ;Win me and wear me,-let him answer me,Come follow me, boy; come, boy, follow me: Sir boy, I'll whip you from your foining fence; Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will. Leon. Brother, Ant. Content yourself: God knows, I lov'd my niece; And she is dead, slander'd to death by villains; Leon. D. Pedro. Leonato and his brother: What think'st thou? Had we fought, I doubt, we should have been too young for them. Bene. In a false quarrel there is no true valour : I came to seek you both Claud. We have been up and down to seek thee; for we are high proof melancholy, and would fain have it beaten away: Wilt thou use thy wit? Bene. It is in my scabbard; Shall I draw it? D. Pedro. Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side? Claud. Never any did so, though very many have been beside their wit.-I will bid thee draw, as we do the minstrels; draw, to pleasure us. D. Pedro. As I am an honest man, he looks pale:-Art thou sick, or angry? Claud. What! courage, man! What though care killed a cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill last was broke cross. D. Pedro. By this light, he changes more and more; I think, he be angry indeed. Claud. If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle. Bene. Shall I speak a word in your ear? Bene. You are a villain;-I jest not-I will make it good how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare:-Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice. You have killed a sweet lady, and her death shall fall heavy on you: Let me hear from you. Claud. Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer. Brother Antony,-a Ant. Hold you content: What, man! I know them, yea, And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple: Leon. But, brother Antony,- Come, 'tis no matter; D. Pedro. Gentlemen both, we will not wake My heart is sorry for your daughter's death; Leon. I will not hear you. Brother, away :-I will be heard ; Ant. No? Or some of us will smart for it. D. Pedro. What, a feast? a feast? Claud. I'faith, I thank him; he hath bid me to a calf's head and a capon, the which if I do not carve most curiously, say, my knife's naught.-Shall I not find a woodcock too? Bene. Sir, your wit ambles well; it goes easily. D. Pedro. I'll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the other day: I said, thou hadst a fine wit; True, says she, a fine little one: No, said I, a great wit; Right, says she, a great gross one: Nay, said I, good wit; Just, said she, it hurts no body: Nay, said I, the gentleman is wise; Certain, said she, a wise gentleman: Nay, said I, he hath the tongues; That I believe, said she, for he swore a thing to me on Monday night, which he forswore on Tuesday morning: there's a double tongue; there's two tongues. Thus did she, an hour together, transshape thy particular virtues; yet, at last, she concluded with a sigh, thou wast the properest man in Italy. Claud. For the which she wept heartily, and said, she cared not. D. Pedro. Yea, that she did; but yet, for all that, an if she did not hate him deadly, she would love him dearly: the old man's daughter told us all. Claud. All, all; and moreover, God saw him when he was hid in the garden. D. Pedro. But when shall we set the savage bull's horns on the sensible Benedick's head? Claud. Yea, and text underneath, Here dwells Benedick the married man? Bene. Fare you well, boy! you know my mind; I will leave you now to your gossip-like humour: you break jests as braggarts do their blades, which, God be thanked, hurt not.-My lord, for your many courtesies I thank you: I must discontinue your company: your brother, the bastard, is fled from Messina: you have, among you, killed a sweet D. Pedro. See, see; here comes the man we went and innocent lady: For my lord Lack-beard, there, to seek. he and I shall meet; and till then, peace be with him. [Exit Benedick. D. Pedro. He is in earnest. Claud. In most profound earnest; and I'll war. rant you, for the love of Beatrice. D. Pedro. And hath challenged thee? D. Pedro. What a pretty thing man is, when he Claud. He is then a giant to an ape: but then is D. Pedro. But, soft you, let be; pluck up, my heart, and be sad! Did he not say, my brother was fled ? Dogb. Come, you, sir; if justice cannot tame you, she shall ne'er weigh more reasons in her balance: nay, an you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be looked to. D. Pedro. How now, two of my brother's men bound! Borachio, one! Claud. Hearken after their offence, my lord! D. Pedro. Officers, what offence have these men done? Dogb. Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things: and, to conclude, they are lying knaves. D. Pedro. First, I ask thee what they have done; thirdly, I ask thee what's their offence; sixth and lastly, why they are committed; and, to conclude, what you lay to their charge? Claud. Rightly reasoned, and in his own division; and, by my troth, there's one meaning well suited. D. Pedro. Whom have you offended, masters, that you are thus bound to your answer? this learned constable is too cunning to be understood: What's your offence? Claud. I know not how to pray your patience, D. Pedro. By my soul, nor I; Leon. I cannot bid you bid my daughter live, Claud. [ing; Leon. To-morrow then I will expect your com- Bora. No, by my soul, she was not; Bora. Sweet prince, let me go no further to Dogb. Moreover, sir, (which, indeed, is not mine answer; do you hear me, and let this count under white and black,) this plaintiff here, the kill me. I have deceived even your very eyes: what offender, did call me ass: I beseech you, let it be your wisdoms could not discover, these shallow fools remembered in his punishment: And also, the have brought to light; who, in the night, overheard watch heard them talk of one Deformed: they say, me confessing to this man, how Don John your he wears a key in his ear, and a lock hanging by brother incensed me to slander the lady Hero; how it; and borrows money in God's name; the which you were brought into the orchard, and saw me he hath used so long, and never paid, that now court Margaret in Hero's garments; how you dis-men grow hard-hearted, and will lend nothing for graced her, when you should marry her: my vil- God's sake: Pray you, examine him upon that lainy they have upon record; which I had rather point. seal with my death, than repeat over to my shame : the lady is dead upon mine and my master's false accusation; and, briefly, I desire nothing but the reward of a villain. D. Pedro. Runs not this speech like iron through Claud. I have drunk poison, whiles he uttered it. And fled he is upon this villainy. Claud. Sweet Hero! now thy image doth appear Dogb. Come, bring away the plaintiffs; by this [me. Re-enter Leonato and Antonio, with the Sexton. Bora. Leon. I thank thee for thy care and honest pains. Dogb. Your worship speaks like a most thankful and reverend youth; and I praise God for you. Leon. There's for thy pains. Dogb. God save the foundation! Leon. Go, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I thank thee. Dogb. I leave an arrant knave with your worship; which, I beseech your worship, to correct yourself, for the example of others. God keep your worship; I wish your worship well; God restore you to health: I humbly give you leave to depart; and if a merry meeting may be wished, God prohibit it.-Come, neighbour. [Exeunt Dogberry, Verges, and Watch. Leon. Until to-morrow morning, lords, farewell. Ant. Farewell, my lords; we look for you toD. Pedro. We will not fail. {morrow. Claud. To-night I'll mourn with Hero. [Exeunt Don Pedro and Claudio. Leon. Bring you these fellows on; we'll talk with Margaret, How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-Leonato's Garden. Enter Benedick and Margaret, meeting. Bene. Pray thee, sweet mistress Margaret, deserve well at my hands, by helping me to the speech of Beatrice. Marg. Will you then write me a sonnet in praise of my beauty? Bene. In so high a style, Margaret, that no man living shall come over it; for, in most comely truth, thou deservest it. Marg. To have no man come over me? why, shall I always keep below stairs? Bene. Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound's mouth, it catches. Marg. And your's as blunt as the fencer's foils, which hit, but hurt not. Bene. A most manly wit, Margaret, it will not hurt a woman; and so, I pray thee, call Beatrice: I give thee the bucklers. Marg. Give us the swords, we have bucklers of our own. Bene. If you use them, Margaret, you must put in the pikes with a vice; and they are dangerous weapons for maids. Marg. Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who, I think, hath legs. [Exit Margaret. Bene. And therefore will come. The god of love, That sits above, And knows me, and knows me, How pitiful I deserve, much for praising myself, (who, I myself will bear witness, is praise-worthy,) and now tell me, How doth your cousin? Beat. Very ill. Bene. And how do you? Beat. Very ill too. Bene. Serve God, love me, and mend: there will Urs. Madam, you must come to your uncle; yonder's old coil at home: it is proved, my lady Hero hath been falsely accused, the prince and Claudio mightily abused; and Don John is the author of all, who is fled and gone; will you come presently? Beat. Will you go hear this news, signior? Bene. I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and [Singing. be buried in thy eyes; and, moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle's. I mean, in singing; but in loving.-Leander the good swimmer, Troilus the first employer of panders, and a whole book full of these quondam carpet-mongers, whose names yet run smoothly in the even road of a blank verse, why, they were never so truly turned over and over as my poor self, in love: Marry, I cannot show it in rhyme; I have tried; I can find out no rhyme to lady but baby, an innocent rhyme; for scorn, horn, a hard rhyme; for school, fool, a babbling rhyme; very ominous endings: No, I was not born under a rhyming planet, nor I cannot woo in festival terms. Enter Beatrice. Sweet Beatrice, would'st thou come when I called thee? Beat. Yea, signior, and depart when you bid me. Bene. O, stay but till then! Beat. Then, is spoken; fare you well now:and yet, ere I go, let me go with that I came for, which is, with knowing what hath passed between you and Claudio. Bene. Only foul words; and thereupon I will kiss thee. Beat. Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome ; therefore I will depart unkissed. Bene. Thou hast frighted the word out of his right sense, so forcible is thy wit: But, I must tell thee plainly, Claudio undergoes my challenge; and either I must shortly hear from him, or I will subscribe him a coward. And, I pray thee now, tell me, for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me? Beat. For them all together; which maintained so politick a state of evil, that they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them. But for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me? Bene. Suffer love a good epithet! I do suffer love, indeed, for I love thee against my will. Beat. In spite of your heart, I think; alas! poor heart! If you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours; for I will never love that which my friend hates. Bene. Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably. Beat. It appears not in this confession: there's not one wise man among twenty, that will praise himself. Bene. An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived in the time of good neighbours: if a man do not erect in this age his own tomb ere he dies, he shall live no longer in monument, than the bell rings, and the widow weeps. Beat. And how long is that, think you? Bene. Question?-Why, an hour in clamour, and a quarter in rheum: Therefore it is most expedient for the wise, (if Don Worm, his conscience, find no impediment to the contrary,) to be the trumpet of his own virtues, as I am to myself: So [Exeunt. SCENE III.-The Inside of a Church. Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, and Attendants, with musick and tapers. Claud. Is this the monument of Leonato ? Done to death by slanderous tongues [affixing it. day, Before the wheels of Phoebus, round about Dapples the drowsy east with spots of gray: Thanks to you all, and leave us; fare you well. Claud. Good morrow, masters; each his several way. [weeds; D. Pedro. Come, let us hence, and put on other And then to Leonato's we will go. Claud. And, Hymen, now with luckier issue speeds, Than this, for whom we render'd up this woe! [Exeunt SCENE IV.A Room in Leonato's House. Enter Leonato, Antonio, Benedick, Beatrice, Ursula, Friar, and Hero. Friar. Did I not tell you she was innocent? Upon the error that you heard debated: Ant. Well, I am glad that all things sort so well. Bene. And so am I, being else by faith enforc'd To call young Claudio to a reckoning for it. Leon. Well, daughter, and you gentlewomen all, Withdraw into a chamber by yourselves; And, when I send for you, come hither mask'd: The prince and Claudio promis'd by this hour To visit me :-You know your office, brother; You must be father to your brother's daughter, And give her to young Claudio. [Exeunt Ludies. Ant. Which I will do with confirm'd counte nance. Bene. Friar, I must entreat your pains, I think. Friar. To do what, signior? Bene. To bind me, or undo me, one of them.Signior Leonato, truth it is, good signior, Your niece regards me with an eye of favour. Leon. That eye my daughter lent her; "Tis most true. Bene. And I do with an eye of love requite her. Leon. The sight whereof, I think, you had from me, From Claudio, and the prince; But what's your And my help. Enter Don Pedro and Claudio, with Attendants. We here attend you: Are you yet determin'd Claud. I think, he thinks upon the savage bull:- Bene. Bull Jove, sir, had an amiable low; And some such strange bull leap'd your father's cow, And got a calf in that same noble feat, Much like to you, for you have just his bleat. Re-enter Antonio, with the Ladies masked. Claud. For this I owe you here come other reckonings. Which is the lady I must seize upon? Ant. This same is she, and I do give you her. Claud. Why, then she's mine: Sweet, let me see your face. Leon. No, that you shall not, till you take her hand Before this friar, and swear to marry her. Hero. And when I lived, I was your other wife: Nothing certainer : D. Pedro. The former Hero! Hero that is dead! Leon. She died my lord, but whiles her slander lived. Friar. All this amazement can I qualify; When, after that the holy rites are ended, I'll tell you largely of fair Hero's death: [her; Claud. And I'll be sworn upon't, that he loves For here's a paper, written in his hand, A halting sonnet of his own pure brain, Fashion'd to Beatrice. Hero. And here's another, Writ in my cousin's hand, stolen from her pocket, Containing her affection unto Benedick. Bene. A miracle! here's our own hands against our hearts -Come, I will have thee; but, by this light, I take thee for pity. Beat. I would not deny you ;-but, by this good day, I yield upon great persuasion; and, partly, to save your life, for I was told you were in a consumption. Bene. Peace, I will stop your mouth. [Kissing her. D. Pedro. How dost thou, Benedick the married man? Bene. I'll tell thee what, prince; a college of witcrackers cannot flout me out of my humour: Dost thou think, I care for a satire, or an epigram? No: if a man will be beaten with brains, he shall wear nothing handsome about him: In brief, since I do propose to marry, I will think nothing to any purpose that the world can say against it; and therefore never flout at me for what I have said against it; for man is a giddy thing, and this is my conclusion. For thy part, Claudio, I did think to have beaten thee; but in that thou art like to be my kinsman, live unbruised, and love my cousin. Claud. I had well hoped, thou wouldst have denied Beatrice, that I might have cudgelled thee out of thy single life, to make thee a double dealer ; which, out of question, thou wilt be, if my cousin do not look exceeding narrowly to thee. Bene. Come, come, we are friends:-let's have a dance ere we are married, that we may lighten our own hearts, and our wives' heels. Leon. We'll have dancing afterwards. [sick.Bene. First, o' my word; therefore, play muPrince, thou art sad; get thee a wife, get thee a wife: there is no staff more reverend than one tipped with horn. |