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TO MISS B
TO THE SAME.
overwhelmed me. I chose death rather than life. | seemed bound up. Ah, there is a melancholy pleaBut God watche l over me, and caused this dark- sure in retracing those paths which I have irod with ness gradually to subside. Let his goodness to me anguish, and in fancying I once more behold those encourage you. Do not be dismayed if you cannot spots which have witnessed my sorrows. Alas, for ascertain one evidence of Christian character.- me, that I feel so indifferent to Him who is my reCome to Jesus as a sinner. If he seem to disregard deemer, my life, my all! Pray that I may love him you, tell him (for he kindly permits us to do this) with all my soul, and mind, and strength; that I he has promised to cast out none. Wait on him, may so love him, as not to be able to enter into soand whatever you doubt, doubt not his willingness cieiy, without endeavoring to kindle around me to save. Time forbids my adding more. May he this holy flame, nor to give rest to my spirit, while bless you with peace, and make your latter end 10 there remains a human being over whom I have increase greatly.
Yours affectionately, any influence, who is unacquainted with his match-
guage of despair, What can we do? but let us utter LETTER XXVIII.
This exclamation in faith, and God will find us employment. Adieu, my dear; send me particulars
of yourself, and a piece of spar for my chimney. PERMt me, my dearest Eliza, to express the sym- piece, that I may look at it, and say, It came from pathy I feel for you under your present trial.
Your affectionate Thanks be to God, you are no stranger to the source
MARTHA. of true consolation. Let me, however, remind you of the sympathy of Jesus a sympathy inconceiv
LETTER XXX. able and inexhaustible. Remember, my dear, the character he sustains. He bears the name of friend, of father, of elder broiher. And ah, how well does Much as I am pressed for time, I cannot but write he fulfil the tender relationships they imply. It is a few lines to you, my dear friend, in hope they will beyond the power of man, it is beyond the power of reach you before your departure. I rejoice that angels, to describe his faithfulness as a friend, his you can ask for the fulfilment of that gracious procare as a father, his tenderness as a brother. Othat mise, “I will never leave nor forsake ihee.” oihat you may be enabled, under this and every trial, to you may at all times feel your interest in it, and contemplate the Saviour as yours in all his charac- then you will be able to go any where, or become ters. I know not that I can wish you a greater any thing, with cheerfulness and gratitude. Rest blessing. But is it necessary for me to remind you assured you are always the subject of my sympathy of the sympathies of Jesus ? O no, it is already and my prayers. Supplicate for me that I may live done by every thing around you. Yes, we see, we to the glory of God. I feel that I am nothing; but feel, his tenderness in the trifling occurrences of this should not discourage me, for Jehovah can each passing day; in the looks, the words, the ac- make the meanest vessel a vessel of honor. tions of our associates. We see it in their smiles, Farewell, my dear. May the angel of the covewe feel it in their progress. What shall we render nant guide you, and send you prosperity! to that God, who has brought to light those joys
Your affectionate which endure for ever, and opened a new and liv.
MARTHA. ing way to his heavenly habitation ! There the inhabitant shall no more say, I am sick, and the
LETTER XXXI. days of his mourning shall be ended.
I am not much beiter; the winter is unfavorable to me. I wish, however, to commit myself
patiently your kind inquiries and your affectionate solicitude
I FEEL much indebted to you, my dear friend, for to God, and wait his will
. Be assured your joys for my beloved father. Last Thursday he was able and sorrows are ever mine. Your affectionate
to sit up for a few hours, and since then he has made considerable progress.
What renders his MARTHA.
recovery the more remarkable is, that only a few LETTER XXIX.
days ago we received information from ** quite sufficient to retard his amendment. Thus
mercifully is the Lord dealing with us! Let us wait The evening is lovely, the sky, looks beautiful upon him, and be of good courage. He who is so and serene; how much I should like a gentle ram- ready to communicate spiritual blessings, will not ble with you, my dear friend, over some of the de- withhold from us any good thing. lightful hills by which you are surrounded. Well, I can say but little of my own healthy Last Wedit is of little consequence, if we do but meet tu- nesday I was seized with a violent pain in the optic gether in the heavenly world.
nerves, which affected my sight; and soon after, It is nearly seven years since our friendship com- the whole of that side was attacked with a dead menced. Have we assisted each other as much as stupid feeling. After this statement, I need scarcely we possibly could in the way of holiness? Have tell you I am in constant danger of a stroke; but, the trials we have mutually suffered increased our my dear, I am in the hands of God, and that is patience, our meekness, and Christian charity ? enough, quite enough! Excuse this short letter Have our mercies filled us with gratitude, and led from
Your affectionate us to a simple reliance on the providence of God ?
MARTHA. Alas! I feel compelled to exclaim with the poet, "O how exceeding short I fall
LETTER XXXII. of what I onght to be!" I have left my dearest brother's, and it has cost MY DEAR FRIEND—It gave me great concern iu me more than I ever thought it would; but I can hear of your illness. I hope you are by this time and do rejoice in his happiness, though I have no completely restored. You have, indeed, proved, longer the felicity of watching his looks and obey that it is ihrough much tribulation we must enter ing the language of his eye. O that I may learn the kingdom. Well you have proved, also, that our wisdom from the pain I have so deeply felt, in being God is faithfulness and truth. I hope you are enrepeatedly separated from those in whom my life joying much of the divine presence, or, if you are
TO THE SAME.
TO THE SAME.
TO THE SAME.
walking in darkness, that you are still staying your-Have I, however, any right to this consolation? I self on the Lord. My Sabbaths here are my worst am often at a loss to discover any resemblance to days. I sigh, but sigh in vain, for those privileges the Saviour. If I do resemble him, the likeness is with which I was once favored. Pray for me that faint indeed; and yet I would still be aiming at the my present trials may be sanctified sú as to cause mark, and pressing forward for the prize. the seed, loug since sown, to spring up, and bring 12. Since I have been from home, I think I have forth much fruit.
learned to set a higher value on the means of grace. May the Almighty bless you, my dear, and cause May I never forget, that, where much is given,
much you to prosper more and more till you are dismissed will be required. Truly I have been ied with the from this vale of tears, and admitted to the joy of finest of the wheat! I expect to reach home in a few
days. From this period may I patiently suffer, and Glorious period ! blessed are those sorrows which cheerfully obey the will of God! O'my Father, prepare us for its approach. Your affectionate fulfil my spiritual desires; as to my temporal con
MARTAA. cerns, I would have no will but thine.
What an unfeeling heart I possess; my ingratiEXTRACTS FROM THE JOURNAL.
tude overwhelms me. Lord, undertake for me!
17. What a changing scene is this ! Parting October 13, 1813. A gentleman related at the from some friends and saluting others. Be anxious, dinner-table the experience of a pious woman who then, my soul, more than ever, to prepare for that is recently dead. I lamented in myself the want of world where there is no change! that humility which shone so conspicuously in her. If I had more humility I should not have such hard some delightful prospects 10-day! If our world is
18. What a variety there is in nature-we had thoughts of God.
so beautiful, what must heaven be? Why, then, 24. The time appears long since I saw my family. have I so little inclination to dwell upon its glories i O to be enabled to look forward by faith to the period when we shall enjoy the unceasing smiles of
“Rise, my sutil, and stretch thy wingsJehovah, and the society of all our friends.
Thy beiter portion trace." 27. Had no opportunity for private devotion, ®. Arrived at home in safety. O for gratitude which affected my spirits through the day, and pre- to our preserving God! How innumerable have vented me from fully enjoying its public services. been thy mercies while away! How many calami.
Slept at Mr. L.'s, and took the opportunity ties might have befallen me! O that the kindness of conversing with the servant. O for greater zeal of Jehovah may influence my spirit! in the service of God!
20. Went to the funeral of a person to-day, who 28. I am now in the way to W - The road for some years previous to his death was blind and is finely interspersed with hill and vale. While ad. deranged. May I learn from this to be thankful miring them, I found it hard to set my affections on that I am exempted from such awful calamities! things above. My soul is almost lifeless. O for
23. My mind is much relieved. I came home the special influence of the Holy Spirit, that I may full of anxiety; but God has dissipated my fears, enjoy communion with Jehovah.
and in the day of temptation he has made a way for 30. Last night we travelled across - From my escape. How seasonable is divine assistance ! the hill we had a fine view of the sea and surround- Help me, O Lord, to be very thankful for all thy ing country. There we were benighted, and hardly mercies. escaped a precipice, not being able to distinguish 24. I am afraid I do not cordially approve the the road; but my mind was preserved from alarm, plan of salvation. This compels me to say, " Lord, trusting in Him who watcheth over his people at all search my heart, and try me, and lead me in the times. Descending the hill the horse fell, but we way everlasting." were not injured. These occurrences forcibly re 25. My mind was much impressed this morning minded me of the Christian's journey through life. with the shortness of life; consequently I saw more May the tender providence of God preserve us from beauty in the figures employed by the sacred writers all the dangers of the wilderness.
when they describe its vanity. We may well be November 3. I have been in much pain lately. O compared to a shadow, and the grass of the field, that I may learn to be more thankful for health and which to-day is, and to-morrow is cut down! How ease!
consolatory is the thought that Jehovah is the same, 5. A friend who promised to take me to the Sun- and that his years change not. day school has neglected to call, and I am disap 26. How sadly impatient I am at a trifling indis. pointed. How important it is to seize every means of position. O that I could properly feel my depende doing good. I seem, in reviewing the past, to have ance upon God! Health and all our comforts are lived only to myself. Lord, quicken me, and grant at his disposal. This is a pleasurable reflection. that I may return to my own dear little pupils with Does he behold me cleaving to the earth, and derenewed devotedness!' I trust this separation has pending on the streams instead of the fountain, he made me more solicitous for their spiritual welfare. can immediately imbitter them, or cause them to be O that I may have a deeper sense of my own in- dried up! Does he behold me bowed down with sufficiency; and then, if God permit me to be use- sorrow, and distracted by disappointments, how ful, I shall freely ascribe to him all the glory. Lord, soon can he scatter every cloud, and lead me by a revive my love io thyself, and help me to abound in way I knew not. Do I believe this ?-then let me love to my fellow.creatures.
confide in Jehovah, and fear nothing. O how ele10. The Sabbath has past. In the evening the vated is the Christian's life, when he lives up to his text was, "Call upon me in the day of trouble.” I privileges ! need to be often reminded of this delightful obliga 29. My mind has been much harassed of late tion. O to be favored with clear and scriptural with spiritual enemies, and anxiety for those who views of the Almighty, so that every hard thought are dear to me. But I hope God has imparted a may be for ever done away! Who could hope to confidence in himself that will still bear me up. To overcome such powerful er.emies as the Christian morrow is the Sabbath; and on that hallowed day has to contend with, had not Gol engaged to bring I trust we shall experience the renewal of our soihim safely through? but since he has promised to ritual strength. defend his people, who shall dare to despair? What
I am very weary to-night. What a mercy a comfort, to be assured that God is on our side! to have a bad to lie on, and reason to hope I shall
have a good night's rest. Blessed Spirit, deign to time calm and fair, how ready am I to indulge in prepare may beari for the morrow : favor us with visionary schemes; and then I require something such a view of the Saviour's glories as shall over- to awake me. When shall I learn to live, and think, whelm us with love and gratitude! May self be and speak as a Christian! I do not quite despair subdued al the foot of the cross to rise no more; of this, because God has promised to complete his there may our souls find a settled peace! May work; but I fear, lest I should be still slow io learn. temptations lose weir power, while we are enabled I find in myself too great a desire to justify to praise the Lord, and go forward !
my conduct when any little fault is pointed out to It is time io prepare for the solemnities of me. Let me not only aim in future to discover my the morrow; to dismiss worldly thoughts, and con- weak side, but when discovered, to set a double template my approaching duties. First, I am to in- waich on it. struct the children; let me seek to have my mind Jan. 1814. When languor of body and mind come deeply impressed with the value of their souls; let together, they increase each other. O for faith to me pray iervently for wisdom to communicate in- pray for the removal of these dark clouds, and then struction with cheerfulness, affection, and simplicity, for patience to wait the Lord's time for an answer! remembering that my utmost efforts can avail no
If I could but feel as I wish under aftlicthing without the divine blessing. Next, I am lotions, then--but ah, I do not! O for faith to confide hear the word of God; and since I stand in so much in Jehovah! Deed of instruction, let me endeavor to hear with We have just received a letter which says, greater attention and prayerfulness. But this is not that yesterday there was a little alteration for ihe all; I am about to attend that ordinance which, better in our dear friend. This is a cause for lively above all others, has a tendency to subdue the pow- gratitude. Whatever Jehovah sends to his people ertul corruptions of my nature. Blessed Spirit, must be for the best, therefore it should quell every condescend to prepare me, by thy special influence, tumult of our minds to know “It is ihe Lord." for these important solemnities.
With him too all things are possible. He can Saturday morning. The Sabbath will shortly be speedily restore health when he has taken it away. here; how ought I to prepare for it? By fervent But I am afraid our hopes have not much foundaprayer, holy ineditation, and leaving nothing un- tion in this instance. O for proper feelings under done of a worldly nature that would molest me. Is this trial, and for wisdom so to conduct myself, as this, then, how I ought to prepare for the day of to mitigate in some small measure the acute sufferrest? Alas, how little I meditate! and when I at- ings of Help me, Lord, to banish from my tempt it, what disinclination I sometimes feel! O spirit whatever is trivial, and combine all my symfor repentance when I consider the past, and deep pathies with hisspirituality for the future. Amen.
How hard it is to possess all that sympathy How distressing to hear of the beauties and solicitude for those we love which is desirable, of Jesus with eyes almost closed to them, anů a and yet to be careful for nothing: Great have been heart, in a great measure, indifferent to his excel- the anxieties of the past week; but it is gone, and lences! My fears at present rise high ; but I know probably the circumstances of the next may almost Jehovah is gracious and full of compassion. May obliterate them from my recollection. we at all times practically believe it.
in the same manner the anxieties of time will What cause have we as a church for soon close, and be succeeded by the unalterable thankfulness! Let me be careful that I am not sa. joys or sorrows of eternity! Why, then, am I distisfied with belonging to a prosperous body, without couraged with a few difficulties? Why this deep being myself in a flourishing condition.
concern for present happiness, and comparative inOthat I had but a right view of the cha- sensibility to the future? racter of Jehovah! I have been distressed all this I feel that trials are hardly worth the name, day for the want of it.
when we have those with us who bear the heaviest In what a variety of ways may our com- half. fort be destroyed; and when the mind is uncom
How anxious we should be for a sense of fortable from outward circumstances, it is frequent- the divine forgiveness while in health, that when ly unfitted for devotion, and thus spiritual troubles we are called to suffer and die, we may not have enter. What should we do at such times without the consolations of religion to seek. the assurance that Jehovah constantly watches over A simple and active dependance on the Saviour us, and is never at a loss to accomplish our deliver is the great object of Christian experience. May ance ?
my trials be sanctified to this end, and then I shall When Jehovah does not see fit to fulfil glory in tribulation. our wishes, how thankful we ought to be for any How delightful it must be to contemplate the perdegree of acquiescence in his will.
fections of Jehovah, and to have the heart filled This morning I enjoyed much in prayer, with his love! To be for ever exploring the mysbut alas ! I soon found that spiritual pride had crept teries of Providence and redemption. Let me acin. How transporting it is to think of being for custom myself to these employments now. cver free from sin! O that I may not fall short of If we commenced the journey of life with that happiness!
opposite feelings to those which are commonly exQuite in a low mood this morning. I was cited, how much disappointment should we escape ! thinking that I should always be the subject of sor- It is in vain that we anticipate an Eden in the wil. row. I took up a book, and in that I read an ac- derness! count of a singular turn of Providence for an indi I have deeply to lament my want of solemvidual, in raising her from sorrow to joy. This nity in the service of God. There is great dwl.ger just suited my imagination, and I fell into a sleep, of resembling the children of Israel, who thought and dreamed of uninterrupted happiness. How lightly of the manna, because it fell in such abundgreai is my folly in both these instances. Why do ance. I think so much of present things which are all un I was much struck to-day with the life of Hannicertain, and so little of those which endure for ever? | bal. How affectirg it would be to trace the decline Nothing
can ease a sorrowful heart like confidence and fall of empires, did we not know that there is in Jehovah.
one which cannot be shaken, and that it is in suborHow necessary does affliction seem to my dination to this kingdom that every other is giving real welfare. If things appear to be for a short way.
O for such vigorous, constant, and glowing | culcation of right principles, and how desirable it love to the Redeemer, as shall put our doubts com is that parents should concur in this great work. pletely to light !
7. This day has passed as most of my days have We should not be contented with looking at recently done, without doing any thing worth reourselves; let us attentively examine the condition lating. It is proper, however, to distinguish beof others. Who is there I can cheer by my sym-tween inability and disinclination. It is painful pathy, uphold by my charity, strengthen by my as- when Providence excludes us from activity, but it sistance, or relieve by my prayers ? O for the Spi- is only sinful when we exclude ourselves. When rit of Christ to rest upon me! My dear * * * siill Providence interposes, it may probably be to preproinises fairly, but I want to see more decision of pare us eventually for greater good. Let me not, character. Our servants attend the means of grace, iherefore, give way to discouraging thoughts, but but I want them to feel more interested in their pri- endeavor to improve my afflictions so as to be the vileges. The dear children committed to my care better for them; and while I am limited to a narrow are not so serious as I wish them to be. Let me sphere of exertion, let me be doubly careful to seize aim to bless silently by my prayers, and wherever those trifling opportunities of glorifying God, which I can, let me second those prayers by my exer- I may once have overlooked. tions.
8. A lady and gentleman came to tea; they were When the love of Jesus fills the heart, there strangers to me, but from every one we may learn is nothing too hard to be endured. May this holy something. In one of these persons, I saw a patprinciple pervade my bosom! then I shall not only tern of deep humility and deadness to the world. be ready to make great sacrifices occasionally, but The other reminded me, that by nature we are be continually sacrificing my own will and desires. without God.
The love of Jesus affects me little; but my 11. How necessary it is to fulfil the duties of mind is continually harassed with the idea of eter- each day as they occur. nal punishment. O that God would prevent me 12. Walked io Enfield.. Saw some dear little from indulging hard thoughts of himself.
ones at school. Could not help thinking of the suHow thankful we ought to be, that the pre-perior advantages of private education in early sent state supplies such a mixture of pain and plea- life. How surprising it is, that mothers can so sure. Were it always painful, life would soon be easily banish their offspring, rather than enjoy the useless and insupportable; were it always pleasant, felicity of teaching them with their own hands. we should consider death rather as an enemy than 14. "Less time than usual for reading. The older a friend. It is erery thing to feel that the sorrows I grow, the more anxiety I feel for mental improveand uncertainties of the present state are overruled ment; but I must beware of impatience even here. to fix our affections on the delightful realities of the We have just established a working school in
connection with our Sabbath day instructions. What May I never sink below an humble reliance dispositions of mind should I labor after in this unon the Saviour, nor be ever tempted to raise above dertaking ? it!
An intense desire to promote the glory of JehoOct. 1817. As I was walking along the road in- vah. dulging in revery, I was suddenly affected by the Tenderest pity for souls. distress of a paralytic. A brutal man was amusing A deep sense of my infinite obligations to Alhimself with her awkwardness. Poor thing, her mighty love, for making me a partaker of the blesssufferings roused me to a sense of my own mercies. ings of redempiion.
30. The illness of my friend confines me to the A lively feeling of my entire dependance on the house. O it is a luxury to be permitted in any way divine blessing. to contribute to the comfort of others.
A fervent spirit of prayer. Nov. Nature has lost her verdure, but the hus Great watchfulness, and an affecting sense of the banaman does not sit down in despair. On the con- infinite value of an immortal spirit. trary, he redoubles his exertions. Surely his exam Behold the sea and the dry land; the mountains ple deserves my imitation.
filled with treasures, and the valleys covered with 3. The morning of this day was very wet and the richest produce. The stars twinkling in the gloomy. I had no idea of its turning out fine. firmament, and the moon walking in all her quiet About two, however, the clouds were dispersed, the radiance. Behold too the meridian sun, riding in sun shone out in all his glory, and it was a most de- all his glorious majesty, imparting life, and light, lightful evening. From this let me learn not to and heat to the whole creation; and when thou hast despair. However dark and gloomy the morning beheld, and admired, and extolled these works of of life, yet the evening may be serene, peaceful, an Almighty hand, remember they are nothing, aband happy.
solutely nothing, to one immortal spirit! 4. This morning I awoke praying against selfish Turn from the contemplation of nature to Cal
O that this may not only be my sleeping, but vary, and while thou beholdest the dying agonies my waking prayer! "I walked out in the morning, of the Redeemer-while thou hearest his groansbut had occasion to regret that it was not a walk of while thou art catching that expiring exclamation, usefulness. How desirable it is to pass each day “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me, worthy of an immortal being.
learn, if thou canst, the value of one soul! 5. Attended the Missionary Prayer Meeting. Let me inquire, in the next place, what encor There was not that deep feeling for the poor heathen ragements I have. which I wished to have witnessed; still, however, God has commanded the use of means. there was enough to reprove me.
God has blessed these means. 6. I have been pleased to-day with reading a short God has given me a spirit of prayer. tale, entitled “The Governess," not only because it God has promised to answer prayer. corresponded with my own views of education, but God has repeatedly said, that nothing done from because it supplied me with some valuable hints. love to him shall lose its reward. The more I see of children, the more I feel the This is a period when our efforts to promote the great importance of early cultivation. How ne- Redeemer's cause are likely to be attended with pecessary is the formation of good habits with the in- I culiar success.
" In a sweet spot which Wisdom chose,
"Nor did the rose unconscious bloom,
" As months rolled on, the spring appear'd,
"Offspring most dear (she fondly said,) 'Part of myself! beneath my shade,
Safe shalt thou rise, whilst happy I, "Transported with maternal joy, "Shall see thy little buds appear,
Unfold and bloom in beauty here. "What though the Lily, or Jonquil, 'Or Hyacinth no longer fill 'The space around me- All shall be * Abundantly made up in thee. *What though my present charms decay,
And passing strangers no more say "Of me, 'Sweet flower!' vet thou shalt raise 'Thy blooming head, and gain the praise; 'And this reverberated pleasure
Shall be to me a world of treasure. 'Cheerful / part with former merit, "That it my darling may in herit. "Haste then the hours which bid thee bloom, And fill the zephyrs with perfume!'
"Thus had the Rose-tree scarcely spoken,
"Judge ye who know a mother's cares
"Deep was the wound; nor slight the pain Which made the Rose-tree thus complain ;
"Dear little darling! art thou gone Thy charms scarce to thy mother known! Remov'd so soon !--So suddenly, Snatch'd from my fond maternal eye!
•What hast thou done ?-dear offspring! say,
"As thus the azzuish'd Rose-tree cry'd,
"Cease, beauteous flow'r these useless cries, And let my lessons make thee wise. 'Art thou not mine? Did noi my hand 'Transplant thee from the barren sand 'Where once a mean unsighily plant, 'Expos'd to injury and want, 'Unkuown, and unadmir'd, I found, And brought thee to this fertile ground; With studious art improv'd thy form, "Secur'd thee from the inclcment storm, And through the seasons of the year, Made thee my unabating care? *Hast thou noi blest thy happy lot, 'In such an owner-such a spol ? 'But now because thy shoot I've taken, 'Thy best of friends must be forsaken. Know flow'r belov'd, e'en this affliction 'Shall prove to thee a benediction : 'Had ('not the young plant remov'd, '(So fondly by thy heart belov'd) of me thy heart would scarce have thought, With gra itude no more be fraught, '-Yea-thy own beauty be at stake 'Surrender'd for thv offspring's sake.
Nor think, that, hidden from thine eyes, 'The infant plant neglected lies'Now I've another garden where 'In richer soil and purer air 'It's now transplanted, there to shine, * In beauties fairer far than thine.
""Nor shalt thou always be apart 'From the dear darling of thy heart 'For 'is my purpose thee to bear 'In future time, and plant thee there, · Where thy now absent off-set grows, "And blossoms a CELESTIAL Rose.
Be patient, then, till that set hour shall come, 'When thou and ihine shall in new beauties bloom No more its absence shalt thou then deplore, 'Together grow, and pe'er be parted more.' “These words to silence hush'd the plaintivo
Rose, With deeper blushes redd'ning now she glows, Submissive bow'd her unrepining head, Again her wonted, grateful'fragrance shedCry'd, 'Tho'ı hast laken only what's thine own, 'Therefore, thy will, my Lord, not mine, le done.rs