As the last day; and that great officers
Do with the pirates share and Dunkirkers.
Who wastes in meat, in cloaths, in horse, in notes; Who loves whores, who boys, and who goats. I, more amaz'd than Circe's prisoners, when They felt themselves turn beasts, felt myself then 130 Becoming traitor, and methought I saw
One of our giant statues ope his jaw
To suck me in for hearing him: I found That as burnt venomous leachers do grow sound By giving others their sores, I might grow Guilty, and he free: therefore I did show All signs of loathing; but since I am in,
I must pay mine and my forefathers' sin To the last farthing: therefore to my power Toughly and stubbornly I bear this cross; but th' hour Of mercy now was come: he tries to bring Me to pay a fine to 'scape his torturing,
And says, Sir, can you spare me? I said, Willingly. Nay, Sir, can you spare me a crown? Thankfully I Gave it as rar som. But as fiddlers still,
Tho' they be paid to be gone, yet needs will Thrust one more jigg upon you; so did he With his long complimental thanks vex me.. But he is gone, thanks to his needy want, And the prerogative of my crown. Scant His thanks were ended when I (which did see All the court fill'd with such strange things as he)
Ran from thence with such or more haste than one Who fears more actions doth haste from prison. At home in wholesome solitariness,
My piteous soul began the wretchedness
Of suitors at court to mourn, and a trance Like his who dream'd he saw hell, did advance Itself o'er me: such men as he saw there
I saw at court, and worse, and more. Low fear 160 Becomes the guilty, not th' accuser; then
Shall I, none's slave, of high-born or rais'd men Fear frowns, and my mistress, Truth! betray thes To th' huffing, braggard, puff'd nobility? No, no; thou which since yesterday hast been Almost about the whole world, hast thou seen, O sun! in all thy journey, vanity
Such as swells the bladder of our court? I Think he which made your waxen garden, and Transported it from Italy, to stand
With us at London, flouts our courtiers; for Just such gay painted things, which no sap nor Taste have in them, our's are; and natural Some of the stocks are, their fruits bastard all. 'Tis ten o'clock, and past; all whom the Meuse, Baloun, tennis, diet, or the stews..
Had all the morning held, now the second
Time made ready, that day in flocks are found
In the presence, and I, (God pardon me!).
As fresh and sweet their apparels be, as be
The fields they sold to buy them. For a king Those hose are, cries the flatterer; and bring Them next week to the theatre to sell.
Wants reach all states. Me seems they do as well At stage as court. All are players; whoe'er looks (For themselves dare not go) o'er Cheapside books, Shall find their wardrobe's inventory. Now The ladies come. As pirates, which do know That there came weak ships fraught with cochineal, The men board them, and praise (as they think) well Their beauties; they the men's wits: both are bought. Why good wits ne'er wear scarlet gowns I thought This cause these men men's wits for speeches buy, And women buy all reds which scarlets die. He call'd her beauty lime-twigs, her hair net: She fears her drugs ill laid, her hair loose set. Would n't Heraclitus laugh to see Macrine From hat to shoe himself at door refine, As if the presence were a Moschite; and lift His skirts and hose, and call his clothes to shrift, 200 Making them confess not only mortal
Great stains and holes in them, but venial Feathers and dust, wherewith they fornicate? And then by Durer's rules survey the state
Of his each limb, and with strings the odds tries Of his neck to his leg, and waste to thighs. So in immaculate clothes and symmetry
Perfect as circles, with such nicety
As a young preacher at his first time goes To preach, he enters, and a lady, which owes Him not so much as good-will, he arrests, And unto her protests, protests, protests;
So much as at Rome would serve to 'have thrown Ten cardinals into the Inquisition,
And whispers by Jesu so oft', that a Pursuivant would have ravish'd him away For saying of our Lady's psalter. But 'tis fit That they each other plague; they merit it. But here comes Glorius, that will plague them both, Who in the other extreme only doth
Call a rough carelessness good fashion;
Whose cloak his spurs tear, or whom he spits on, He cares not, he. His ill words do no harm To him; he rushes in, as if Arm, arm, He meant to cry; and tho' his face be as ill
As theirs which in old hangings whip Christ, still He strives to look worse; he keeps all in awe, Jests like a licens'd foo!, commands like law. Tir'd, now, I leave this place, and but pleas'd so As men from gaols to execution go; Go thro' the great Chamber (why is it hung With the seven deadly sins?) being among Those Askaparts, men big enough to throw Charing-cross for a bar, men that do know No token of worth but queen's man and fine Living, barrels of beef and flagons of wine,
I shook like a spy'd spy.. Preachers! which are
Seas of wit and arts, you can, then dare
Drown the sins of this place; for, for me,
Which am but a scant brook, it enough shall be 240
To wash the stains away; altho' I yet
(With Machabee' modesty) the known merit Of my work lessen, yet some wise men shall, I hope, esteem my writs canonical.
THOU shalt not laugh, in this leaf, Muse! nor they Whom any pity warms. He which did lay Rules to make courtiers, he being understood May make good courtiers, but who courtiers good? Frees from the sting of jests all who in extreme Are wretched or wicked; of these two a theme, Charity and liberty, give me. What is he Who officers' rage and suitors' misery
Can write in jest? If all things be in all,
As I think, since all which were, are, and shall
Be, be made of the same elements,
Each thing each thing implies or represents; Then man is a world, in which officers
Are the vast ravishing seas, and suitors
Springs, now full, now shallow, now dry, which to That which drowns them run: these self-reasons do
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