Tarentine, Chryfo, Aftyllus, Diopompus, and others, that, for the fake of keeping their Bodies in due Strength for Service at the Olympic Games, Wrestling, and the like Exercises, they denied themselves all Commerce with Venus as long as that Service lafted ". There's a certain Country in the Spanish Weft-Indies, where the Men are not allowed to marry till they are turned of forty, and yet the Girls are permitted to do it at ten. 'Tis not Time for a Gentleman of thirty-five Years old to give Place to his Son who is twenty, he being himself in a Capacity to ferve in warlike Expeditions, or at his Prince's Court, and having fo much Need of all his Accoutrements, that though he ought certainly to part with a Share to his Son, yet it fhould not be fo great as to leave himself unfurnished: And fuch a one may juftly make ufe of the Saying.common in the Mouths of Fathers: I have no Mind to put off my Cloaths before I go to Bed.. A Father that. is fuperannated ought to give· up his Etate to his Child. But a Father who is bowed down with old Age and Infirmities, and deprived of the common Society of Mankind by his Weakness and Want of Health, injures both himself and his Family, by brooding, to no Purpofe, over a great Heap of Treafure. He has lived long enough, if he be wife, to have a Defire to strip, I don't mean, to his Skin, but to his Shirt, and a warm Nightgown, and take to his Bed-chamber, furrendering all other Grandeur, of which he has no further Ufe, to those to whom it ought to belong by the Law of Nature. 'Tis but Reason that he should leave the Ufe of it to them, feeing Nature has deprived him of the Enjoyment of it; otherwife there is, undoubtedly, Ill-nature and Envy in the Cafe. The greatest Action that was ever performed by the Emperor Charles V, was when, in Imitation of fome of the Ancients of his Quality, he confeffed, that Reafon plainly commands us to ftrip off our Cloaths when they grow too heavy and cumberfome, and to lie down when our Legs fail us: For when he found himfelf deficient of the Spirit and Ability for the Conduct of Affairs, with the Glory ▾ Plato de Legibus, lib. viii. p. 647 Glory which he had therein acquired, he refigned his Revenues, Grandeur, and Power to his Son. Solve fenefcentem mature fanus equum, ne The old worn Courfer in good Time dismiss, This Fault of a Man's not knowing himself in Time, and of being infenfible of the Feebleness and extreme Alteration which Age naturally brings with it, and which, in my Opinion, equally affects both the Soul and Body, (and the Soul, perhaps, as much more again than the Body) has funk the Reputation of moft of the great Men in the World. I have known, in my Time, and been intimately acquainted with fome Perfonages in great Power, who, 'twas eafy to discern, were ftrangely lapfed from the Abilities which I was fure they were once endued with by the Reputation they had acquired in their best Days: And, for the fake of their Honour, I have wished them at Home at their Eafe, discharged of their public and military Employments, which were grown too heavy for their Shoulders. I was formerly very familiar in the House of a Gentleman who was a Widower, and very old, yet hearty, who had several Daughters marriageable, and a Son too of ripe Years. Such a Family brought upon him many Vifits, and a great Expence, which he did not much like, not only in regard to Frugality, but much lefs because, by reafon of his Age, he had taken up a Courfe of Life far different from ours. I faid to him, one Day, a little freely, as I used to do, that it would become him better to give Place to us, to let his Son have his principal Houfe, (that being the only one he had that was convenient and well furnished) and to retire to an Eftate he had hard by, where no-body would trouble his Repofe, because he could not otherwife avoid our Importunity, confidering the Condition of his Children. He took my Advice afterwards, and found Benefit by it. I don't mean, that a Man should make over what he has to * Horat. lib. i. Ep. 1. v. 8, 9. his his Children in fuch a manner as to difable him from retracting. I myself, who am juft at the Age for acting the fame Part, would let them have the Enjoyment of my House and Substance, but with a Power of Revocation if they gave me Occafion for it: I would leave them the Ufe thereof, because they would be no longer proper for me; and, as to the Authority over the whole, I would referve to myself juft what Share of it I thought fit, having ever been of Opinion, that it must be a great Satiffaction to an aged Father, for himself to put his Children into the Way of managing his Affairs, and to have Power, during his Life, to controul their Behaviour, supplying them with Inftruction and Advice from his own Fund of Experience, and for himself to direct his Succeffors in the Way of preferving the ancient Honour and Order of his Family, and by that Means be fure of not being dif appointed in the Hopes he may conceive of their future Conduct: To this End I would not avoid their Company, but would have a ftrict Eye over them, and partake, as far as my Age would permit, of their Feafts and Jollitry. If I did not live amongst them, (which I could not do without fpoiling their Mirth by the Moroseness of my Age, and the Complaint of my Ailments, and without putting a Conftraint and a Force upon the Rules and Forms of living I fhould then have established) I would, at least, live near to them, in fome Part of my House, not the best for Shew, but the most commodious. I would not be like a Dean of St. Hilary of Poitiers, whom I saw, fome Years ago, abandoned to fuch a folitary Retirement, by reafon of his Melancholy, that, when I entered his Chamber, he had never stirred out of it in twenty-two Years, and yet all his Motions were free and easy, faving a Rheum that had fallen upon his Lungs.. He would hardly fuffer any-body to come and fee him once a Week, but always kept himself fhut up in his Chamber alone, except that he had fomething brought to him once a Day to eat, by a Servant, who did but just come in and go out again. His Employment was walking up and down the Room, and reading a Book, (for he had a Smattering of Learning) being obftinately bent to die in this Retirement, 2 as as he did foon after. I would endeavour, by engaging Conversation, to breed a lively and unfeigned Friendship and Good-will in my Children towards me, which, in well-difpofed Minds, is not hard to do; for, if they are mad Brutes, of which this Age of ours produces Thoufands, we must then abhor and fhun them. Children ought ot to be forbid to call them by the Name of Father. Children that are grown up aught to be admitted to a Fa miliarity with their Fathers. I hate the Custom of forbidding Children to call their Father by the Name of Father, and enjoining them to use another, as more reverential; as if Nature had not fufficiently provided for the Establishment of our Authority. We invoke the Almighty God by the Stile of Father, and yet fcorn that our Children fhould call us fo. This is an Error which I have reformed in my Family. 'Tis alfo Folly and Injustice to deprive Children, when grown up, of Familiarity with their Fathers, and to think to keep them in Awe and Obedience by the Fathers affuming an auftere and fupercilious Countenance towards them. For 'tis a mere Farce this, which, fo far from an fwering the End, renders the Fathers naufeous to their Children, and, what is worse, ridiculous. They have Youth and Vigour of their Side, and confequently the Vogue and Favour of the World, and do but laugh, with Contempt, at the haughty, tyrannical, and scarecrow Looks of a Man without Blood either in his Heart or his Veins Though I could make myself feared, yet I had much rather make myself be loved. There are so many various Defects in old Age, fo much Difability, and 'tis fo liable to Contempt, that the best Purchase fuch a Man can make is the Love and Kindness of his Family, Command and Terror being no longer his Weapons. I have known a certain Man, who, having been very infolent in his Youth, when he came to be old, though he was in as Inftance of an old Man wha aiming to be formidable, became contempti ble. good y The good King Henry IV. reformed it alfo in his Family, for Perefixus fays, he would not have his Children call him Monfieur, or Sir, an Appellation which feems to make the Father and the Children Strangers, and which is a Mark of Subjection and Slavery; but that they should call him Papa, or Father, an Appellation of Love and Tenderness. Hiftory of Henry the Great, p. 503. good Health as could be, yet would lay about him, bite his Teeth, fwear, ftorm, and blufter more than any Bully in France, a Prey to his own Jealoufy and Vigilance; and all owing to the Combination of his Family, who have the Command of the best Share of his Barn, Cellar, and Money-cheft, though he will fooner part with his Eyes than the Keys in his Purfe: Whilft he hugs himself with the Frugality and Niggardlinefs of his Table, in all the detached Parts of his Houfe there's nothing but Rioting, Play, and Profufion of Expence, and cracking of Jokes at his fruitless Choler and Caution. Every one is a Centinel against him, and if, by Accident, any Wretch that ferves him takes his Part, they instantly make him liable to his Sufpicion, this being a Bait that old Age is apt enough, of itself, to fnap at. How oft has this Gentleman boafted to me in what great.Awe he kept his Family, and how exact an Obedience and Reverence they paid him! How clearly did this Man see into his own Affairs ! Ille folus nefcit omnia1. i. e. Yet he alone is ignorant of every Thing.` I don't know any Man that can mufter more Parts, both Natural and Acquired, proper to maintain fuch a Dominion, than he, yet he has no more command of them than a Child: Therefore I have fingled him out, as the most exemplary Inftance of all that I know of fuch a Temper. It were a Subject fufficient for a Question in the Schools, Whether he is better thus than otherwife? In his Presence all fubmit to him, and give fo much Way to his Vanity, that no-body ever refifts him: He is as much believed, feared, and refpected as his Heart can defire: Does he give a Difmiffion to a Servant? He packs up his Bundle, and is gone, but 'tis no farther than out of his Prefence: The Pace of old Age is fo flow, and the Senses then fo confused, that the difcarded Perfon will live and officiate, as before, in the fame House, a Year together without beVOL. II. G z Terence Adelph. At v. Sc. 2. v. 9 ing |