Book II. penfions that start up in us without the Direction and Mediation of our Judgment: As for Inftance, while I am treating of the Subject, I cannot entertain the Paffion of dandling Infants in the Month, when they have no diftinguishable Motion in the Soul, nor Shape of Body to make them amiable'; and I never willingly fuffered them to be nurfed in my Prefence.

be the Love of Parents to their

Children.

An Affection that is real, and well regulated, ought to What ought to fpring and increase with the Knowledge they give us of themfelves, and then, if they are worthy of it, natural Propenfion, walking in the fame Pace with Reafon, will make us cherifh them with a Fondnefs truly paternal; and, if they are otherwife, we ought in the fame manner to exercise our Judgment of them by always fubmitting to Reason, notwithstanding the Power of Nature. But it often happens on the contrary; and, generally fpeaking, we are more fmitten with the Caperings and filly Frolics of our Children, than we are afterwards with their Actions when they are fully methodifed; as if we had loved them for our Paftime, as Monkeys, not as human Beings. And there are fome who furnish their Children bountifully with Playthings, yet grudge the leaft neceffary Expence for them when they are grown up. Nay, it feems as if our being more niggardly and clofe-fifted to them proceeded from our Envy at feeing them make a Figure, and enjoy themfelves in the World when we are on the Point of leaving it. We are vexed to fee them tread upon our Heels, as if they wanted us to be gone: And if this fhould be really our Fear, fince fuch is the Order of Things that Children cannot, to speak the Truth, exift nor live but at the Expence of our Being and Life, we fhould never have concerned ourselves in getting them.

Fathers ought
to admit their
Children to a
Share of their
Subftance.

For my Part, I think it Cruelty and Injuftice not to admit them into a Share and Partnership of our Subftance, nor to affociate them in the Secret of our domeftic Affairs when they are capable of fuch Knowledge; and that it ́ would be altogether as wicked for us not to leffen, abridge, and contract our own Conveniencies, on Purpose

2

Purpose to make Provifion for theirs, fince we begat them for that End. 'Tis unjuft, that an old Father, battered with Age, and one Foot in the Grave, fhould enjoy alone, in his Chimney-corner, the Subftance that would fuffice for the Maintenance and Advancement of feveral Children, and that he should fuffer them to lose the best of their Time, for want of allowing them the Means to put themfelves forward in the Service of the Public, and the Knowledge of Mankind.

good Families Young Men of forced to rob, in order to fupply their Neceffities.

They are hereby drove to a defperate Pursuit of Methods, how unjuft foever, to provide for their own Support: As I have known, in my Time, feveral young Men of good Extraction, so addicted to Theft, that no Correction could cure them of it. I knew one of an honourable Family, to whom, at the Request of a Brother of his, a very honeft and brave Gentleman, I spoke once upon this Subject. He confeffed to me, very frankly, that he had been forced into this dirty Road by the Severity and Avarice of his Father, and that now he was. fo accustomed to it, that he could. not leave it off: And at this Time being, with several others, at a Lady's Levee, he was caught filching her Jewels. It put me in mind of a Story, which I had heard of another Gentleman fo habituated and accomplished in this fine Profeffion in his youthful Days, that when he came to his paternal Estate, and determined to abandon the Practice, he could not pass by a Shop where there was any Thing that he wanted, without ftealing it, though he had the Difgrace of fending the Money afterwards to pay for it. And I myself have seen several fo addicted to this Crime, that they could not even forbear pilfering Things from their Companions, though with an Intent to restore them. I am a Gafcon, yet there is no Vice that I am lefs acquainted with than this. I hate it fomething more by Difpofition than I condemn it by Difcourfe. I have not fo much as a Defire for any Thing that is another Man's. This Province of ours is, in Truth, a little more in Difgrace than the other Parts of the French Nation; and yet we have seen, in our Time, feveral Men, of good Families,

of

of other Provinces, in the Hands of Juftice, after being convicted of many fhocking Robberies. I wish the Fathers are not, in fome Measure, to blame for this Vice of the Sons.

And if a Man fhould tell me, as a Nobleman, of very Bad Excufe of good Underftanding, once did, that

the Fathers, who board

their Money to gain the more

Refpect from

their Children.

he

hoarded up Wealth for no other Use and Advantage but to make himself honoured and courted by his Kindred; and that, Age having deprived him of all other Ability, it was the fole Remedy he had left to keep up his Authority in his Family, and to prevent his falling into the Contempt and Scorn of the World (though in Truth, according to Ariftotle, not only old Age, but every Infirmity is the Promoter of Avarice :) This is faying fomething, but 'tis Phyfic for a Difeafe of which we ought to avoid the Source.'

The Means by

which a Fa

ther should procure the ReSpect of his Children.

Very miferable is that Father, who has no other Hold of his Childrens Affection (if this deferve the Name of Affection) but the Need they stand in of his Affiftance. He muft render himself worthy of Refpect by his Virtue and Wifdom, and of Love by his Bounty and engaging Behaviour. Even the very Ashes of a rich Material have their Value, and we are accustomed to have a Refpect and Reverence for the Bones and Reliques of Perfons of true Worth. No old Age can be fo feeble and difagreeable in those who have paffed their Days in Honour, but it must be venerable, and particularly to their Children, whofe Minds he must have formed to their Duty by Reafon, not by Neceffity and the Need they have of him, nor by Roughness and Force.

-et errat longe meâ quidem fententiâ, Qui imperium credat effe gravius aut ftabilius Vi quod fit, quàm illud quod amicitiâ adjungitur .

i. e.

And he does widely differ from my Sense,
Who thinks the Power gain'd by Violence

› Terent. Adelph. A&i. Sc. 1. v. 39.

More

More lasting and substantial than that
Which Gentleness and Friendship do create.

Violence in the
Education of
Children con-

demned.

I condemn all Violence in the Education of tender Minds that are to be trained up to Honour and Liberty. There is I know not what Servility in Rigour and Constraint, and am of Opinion that what cannot be done by Reason, Prudence, and Addrefs, is never to be effected by Force. I myself was brought up after this manner; and they tell me, that, in my firft Stage of Life, I never was whipp'd but twice, and that very gently. I intended to have practifed the fame Method with my Children, who all died at Nurse, except Leonora, my only Daughter, who is fix Years old, and upwards, and never has had any worfe Correction for her childish Faults, and for the Regulation of her Conduct (by the eafy Concurrence of her Mother's Indulgence) than Words, and thofe very gentle. And, though my Defire should herein be fruftrated, there are other Caufes to lay the Fault on, without reproaching my Difcipline, which I know to be juft and natural. I fhould have been more ferious, in this Refpect, towards the Males, as born to lefs Subjection, and a State of greater Liberty, and should have aimed to have enlarged their Hearts with Sincerity and Frankness. I never obferved that Whipping had any other Effect than to render those who fuffered it more daftardly, or more hardened in Wickedness. Do we wish to be beloved by our Children? fire to deprive them of all Occafion to wifh for our Death? (though no Occafion of fo horrid a Wish can be either juft or excufable, Nullum fcelus rationem habet, i. e. No Crime is founded upon Reafon) let us give them all the reasonable Accommodations of Life that are in our Power. In order to this we should not marry fo young that our Age may happen, in Time, as it were, to be confounded with theirs; for this Inconvenience plunges us into many great Difficulties. I addrefs this particularly to our Gentry, who have little or nothing to do, and live, as they call it, only upon their Eftates; for, as to others who have

Do we de

The true Way for Parents to gain the Love their Chil

dren.

s Ex Crat. Scipionis Africani apud Tit. Liv. lib. 28. c. 28.

have their Livelihood to get, the Plurality and Society of their Children is an Advantage to their Management of Affairs, they being fo many new Tools and Inftruments wherewith to grow rich.

I was married at thirty-three Years of Age, and comThe most pro- mend Ariftotle's Opinion, who, 'tis faid, apper Age for proved of thirty-five. Plato, who was against Marriage Marriage before thirty, had Reason to ridicule those who enter into that State after fifty-five, and he condemns their Iffue as unworthy of Aliment and Life. Thales gave truer Limits to it, who, being preffed by his Mother to marry whilft he was young, faid, It was not yet Time; and being urged again to it, when he was advanced in Years, replied, It was too late in Life. We must not give an Opportunity to every Importunity. The ancient Gauls thought it a moft reproachful Thing for a Man to have Society with a Woman before the Age of twenty, and especially recommended it to the Men who defigned themselves for War, to keep their Virginity till well grown in Years, forafmuch as Courage is abated and deverted by Copulation with Women.

Mà bor congiunto a giovinetta fpofa,
E lieto bomai de figli, era invilito
Ne gli affetti di padre, e di marito'.

i. e.

But now he has a Spoufe that's Young and Fair,
His Courage is abated, and his Care.

}

His Wife and Children do betwixt them share. Muleaffes King of Tunis, who was restored to his Dominions by the Emperor Charles V, reproached the Memory of his Father Mahomet, for keeping fo much Company with the Women, calling him loofe, effeminate, and a Getter of Children. The Greek Hiftory obferves of Iccus" the Tarentine,

Diogenes Laert. in the Life of Thales, lib. i. fect. 26.

s What Montaigne afcribes here to the Gauls Cæfar fays exprefsly of the Germans de Bello Gallico, lib. vi. Qui diutiffimè impuberes permanferunt, maximam inter fuos ferunt laudem, &c.

Il Taffo Gierufalem liberata, Canto x. Stanza 39.

In all the Editions of Montaigne that I could ever get a Sight of, not ́ excepting the Tranflation of it by Mr. Cotten, 'tis fecus inftead of Iccus.