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Sir Toby. Marry, hang thee, brock!
Malvolio reads. “I may command where I adore :
But silence, like a Lucrece knife, With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore ;
M, O, A, I, doth sway my life."
Fab. A fustian riddle !
Mal. “M, 0, A, I, doth sway my life.". Nay, but first, let me see-let me see-let me
and after a demure travel of regard,—telling them I know my place, as I would they should do theirs,—to ask for my kinsman Toby:
Sir Toby. Bolts and shackles !
Mal. Seven of my people, with an obedient start, make out for him : I frown the while ; and perchance wind up my watch, or play with some rich jewel. Toby approaches; court'sies there to me :
Sir Toby. Shall this fellow live?
Fab. Though our silence be drawn from us with cars, yet peace.
Mal. I extend my hand to him thus, quenching my familiar smile with an austere regard of control:
Sir Toby. And does not Toby take you a blow o' the lips then ?
Mal. Saying, “ Cousin Toby, my fortunes having cast me on your niece, give me this prerogative of speech :--"
Sir Toby. What, what?
Fab. Nay, patience, or we break the sinews of our plot.
Mal. “ Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with a foolish knight;"
Sir And. That 's me, I warrant you.
Fab. What a dish of poison hath she dressed him !
Sir Toby. And with what wing the stannyel checks at it ?
Mal. “I may command where I adore." Why, she may command me: I serve her, she is my lady. Why, this is evident to any formal capacity. There is no obstruction in this :And the end—What should that alphabetical position portend ? if I could make that resemble something in'me-Softly !—“M, 0, A, I."
Sir Toby. O, ay! make up that :-he is now at a cold scent.
Fab. Sowter will cry upon 't for all this, though it be as rank as a fox.
Mal. “M”—Malvolio ;—“M”—why that begins my name.
Fab. Did not I say he would work it out? the cur is excellent at faults.
Mal. “M”—But then there is no consonancy in the sequel ; that suffers under probation: “A” should follow, but “()” does.
Fab. And “O" shall end, I hope.
Mal. What employment have we here?
[Taking up the letter. Fab. Now is the woodcock near the gin.
Sir Toby. O, peace! and the spirit of humours intimate reading aloud to him !
Mal. By my life, this is my lady's hand : these be her very C's, her U's, and her T's; and thus makes she her great P's. It is, in contempt of question, her hand.
Sir And. Her C's, her U's, and her T's: Why that?
Mal. [Reads.] “ To the unknown beloved, this, and my good wishes :" her very phrases ! -By your leave, wax.-Soft!—and the impressure her Lucrece, with which she uses to seal : ’t is my lady. To whom should this be?
Fab. This wins him, liver and all.
Mal. And then “I” comes behind.
Fab. Ay, an you had an eye behind you, you might see more detraction at your heels than fortunes before you.
Mal. “M, 0, A, I;”—This simulation is not as the former :-and yet, to crush this a little, it would bow to me, for every one of these letters are in my name. Soft; here follows prose.
“ If this fall into thy hand, revolve. In my stars I am above thee ; but be not afraid of greatness : Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. Thy fates open their hands; let thy blood and spirit embrace them. And, to inure thyself to what thou art like to be ast thy humble slough, and appear fresh. Be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants : let thy tongue tang arguments of state; put thyself into the trick of singularity: She thus advises thee, that sighs for thee. Remember who commended thy yellow stockings, and wished to see thee ever
No man must know." “ No man must know."-What follows ? the numbers altered !-"No man must know:"-If this should be thee, Malvolio ?
cross-gartered; I say, remember. Go to; thou art made, if thou desirest to be so; if not, let me see thee a steward still, the fellow of servants, and not worthy to touch Fortune's fingers. Farewell. She that would alter services with thee.
“ Tue FORTUNATE-UNHAPPY."
Sir Toby. I could marry this wench for this device.
Sir And. So could I too.
Sir Toby. And ask no other dowry with her, but such another jest.
Sir And. Nor I neither.
Daylight and champian discovers not more: this is open. I will be proud, I will read politic authors, I will baffle Sir Toby, I will wash off gross acquaintance, I will be point-de-vice, the very man.
I do not now fool myself, to let imagination jade me; for every reason excites to this, that my lady loves me.
She did commend my yellow stockings of late, she did praise my leg being cross-gartered ; and in this she manifests herself to my love, and with a kind of injunction drives me to these habits of her liking. I thank my stars, I am happy. I will be strange, stout, in yellow stockings, and crossgartered, even with the swiftness of putting on. Jove and my stars be praised !-Here is yet a postscript.
* Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou entertainest my love, let it appear in thy smiling; thy smiles become thee well: therefore in my presence still smile, dear my sweet, I pr'y thee." Jove, I thank thee. I will smile ; I will do every thing that thou wilt have me. [Exit.
Fab. I will not give my part of this sport for a pension of thousands to be paid from the Sophi.
Enter Maria. Fab. Here comes my noble gull-catcher. Sir Toby. Wilt thou set thy foot o' my neck? Sir And. Or o' mine either ?
Sir Toby. Shall I play my freedom at traytrip, and become thy bond-slave?
Sir And. I' faith, or I either ?
Sir Toby. Why, thou hast put him in such a dream, that when the image of it leaves him, he must run mad.
Mar. Nay, but say true ; does it work upon him ?
Sir Toby. Like aqua-vitæ with a midwife.
Mar. If you will, then, see the fruits of the sport, mark his first approach before my lady: he will come to her in yellow stockings, and 't is a colour she abhors; and cross-gartered, a fashion she detests; and he will smile upon her, which will now be so unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted to a melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn him into a notable contempt : if you will see it, follow me.
Sir Toby. To the gates of Tartar, thou most excellent devil of wit !
Sir And. I 'll make one too. [Exeunt.
SCENE 1.-Olivia's Garden.
Enter Viola, and Clown with a tabor. Vio. Save thee, friend, and thy music : Dost thou live by thy tabor ?
Clo. No, sir, I live by the church.
Clo. No such matter, sir ; I do live by the church: for I do live at my house, and my house doth stand by the church.
Vio. So thou mayst say, the king lies by a beggar, if a beggar dwell near him; or, the church stands by thy tabor, if thy tabor stand by the church.
Clo. You have said, sir. To see this age A sentence is but a cheveril glove to a good wit ; how quickly the wrong side may be turned outward !
Vio. Nay, that's certain ; they that dally nicely with words, may quickly make them wanton.
Clo. I would, therefore, my sister had had no
Clo. Why, sir, her name's a word; and to dally with that word, might make my sister wanton : But, indeed words are very rascals, since bonds disgraced them.
Vio. Thy reason, man?
Clo. Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words; and words are grown so false, I am loath to prove reason with them.
Vio. I warrant thou art a merry fellow, and carest for nothing.
Clo. Not so, sir, I do care for something: but in my conscience, sir, I do not care for you; if that be to care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you invisible.
Vio. Art thou not the Lady Olivia's fool ?
Clo. No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly: she will keep no fool, sir, till she be married; and fools are as like husbands as pilchards are to herrings, the husband's the bigger. I am, indeed, not her fool, but her corrupter of words.
Vio. I saw thee late at the Count Orsino's.
Clo. Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb, like the sun; it shines every where. I would
And to do that well craves a kind of wit:
Enter Sir Toby Belch and Sir ANDREW AGUE
be sorry, sir, but the fool should be as oft with your master as with my mistress : I think I saw your wisdom there.
Vio. Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with thee. Hold, there's expenses for thee.
Clo. Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard !
Vio. By my troth, I 'll tell thee, I am almost sick for one; though I would not have it grow on my chin. Is thy lady within ?
Clo. Would not a pair of these have bred, sir? Vio. Yes, being kept together, and put to use.
Clo. I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to bring a Cressida to this Troilus.
Vio. I understand you, sir ; 't is well begged.
Clo. The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but a beggar; Cressida was a beggar. My lady is within, sir. I will construe to them whence you come : who you are, and what you would, are out of my welkin: I might say element, but the word is overworn. [Exit.
Vio. This fellow's wise enough to play the fool;
Sir Toby. Save you, gentleman.
Sir And. I hope, sir, you are ; and I am yours.
Sir Toby. Will you encounter the house? my niece is desirous you should enter, if your trade be to her.
Vio. I am bound to your niece, sir : I mean, she is the list of my voyage.
Sir Toby. Taste your legs, sir; put them to motion.
Vio. My legs do better understand me, sir, than I understand what you mean by bidding me taste my legs.
Sir Toby. I mean to go, sir ; to enter.
Vio. I will answer you with gait and entrance: But we are prevented.
Enter Olivia and Maria. Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain odours on you!
Sir And. That youth's a rare courtier: “Rain odours !” well.
Vio. My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your own most pregnant and vouchsafed ear.
Sir And. “ Odours, pregnant, and vouchsafed :”—I 'll get 'em all three ready.
Oli. Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to my hearing.
[Exeunt Sir Toby, SIR ANDREW, and Maria. Give me your hand, sir.
Vio. My duty, madam, and most humble service.
yours ; Your servant's servant is your servant, madam. Oli. For him, I think not on him : for his
thoughts, 'Would they were blanks, rather than filled
Enough is shewn; a cyprus, not a bosom,
Vio. I pity you.
Vio. No, not a grise ; for 't is a vulgar proof, That very oft we pity enemies.
Oli. Why then, methinks, 't is time to smile again: O world, how apt the poor are to be proud! If one should be a prey, how much the better To fall before the lion than the wolf? [Clock strikes. The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you : And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest, Your wife is like to reap a proper man: There lies your way, due west.
Vio. Then westward-hoe :
Oli. Stay :
Vio. That you do think you are not what you are.
Vio. Would it be better, madam, than I am ? I wish it might; for now I am your fool.
Oli. O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful In the contempt and anger of his lip! A murderous guilt shews not itself more soon Than love that would seem hid:love's night is noon. Cesario, by the roses of the spring, By maidhood, honour, truth, and every thing, I love thee so, that, maugre all thy pride, Nor wit nor reason can my passion hide. Do not extort thy reasons from this clause, For that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause : But rather reason thus with reason fetter : Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.
Vio. By innocence I swear, and by my youth, I have one heart, one bosom, and one truth, And that no woman has; nor never none Shall mistress be of it, save I alone. And so adieu, good madam ; never more Will I my master's tears to you deplore. Oli. Yet come again : for thou perhaps mayst
move That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.
Vio. Madam, I come to whet your gentle
thoughts On his behalf :
Oli. 0, by your leave, I pray you ;
SCENE II.-A Room in Olivia's House.
Have you not set mine honour at the stake,
Enter Sir Toby Belch, Sir ANDREW AGUE
CHEEK, and Fabian. Sir And. No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer. Sir Toby. Thy reason, dear venom, give thy