Ford. Blefs you, fir!

Enter Ford.

Fal. Now, mafter Brook, you come to know what hath pass'd between me and Ford's wife?

Ford. That, indeed, fir John, is my bufinefs.

Fal. Mafter Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her house the hour fhe appointed me.

Ford. And you fped, fir?

Fal. Very ill-favour'dly, mafter Brook.

Ford. How, fir? Did fhe change her determination? Fal. No, mafter Brook: but the peaking cornuto her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual 'larum of jealoufy, comes me in the inftant of our encounter, after we had embrac'd, kiss'd, protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provok'd and instigated by his diftemper, and forfooth, to fearch his houfe for his wife's love.

Ford. What, while you were there?

Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find you?

Fal. You fhall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one mistress Page; gives intelligence of Ford's approach; and, by her invention, and Ford's wife's 'diftraction, they convey'd me into a buck-basket.

Ford. A buck-basket!

Fal. By the lord, a buck-basket: ramm'd me in with foul fhirts and fmocks, focks, foul ftockings, and greafy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villanous fmell, that ever offended noftril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I have fuffer'd to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul cloaths to Datchet-lane: they took me on their fhoulders; met the jealous knave their master in the door; who afk'd them once or twice, what they had in their basket: I quak'd for fear, least the lunatic knave would have search'd it; but fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well; on went he for a fearch, and away went I for foul cloaths. But mark the sequel, mafter Brook: I fuffer'd the pangs of three feveral deaths: first, an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten bell-weather: next, to be compafs'd, like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head: and then, to be stopp'd in, like a strong distillation, with stinking cloaths that fretted in their own grease: think of that, a man of my kidney-think of that; that am as fubject to heat, as butter; a man of continual diffolution and thaw; it was a miracle, to 'fcape fuffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half ftew'd in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cool'd, glowing hot, in that furge, like a horfe-fhoe; think of that-hiffing hot-think of that, master Brook.

h

Ford. In good fadnefs, fir, I am forry that for my fake you have fuffer'd all this. My fuit is then desperate; you'll undertake her no more?

Fal. Mafter Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding: I have receiv'd

of, or by.

a

i

good bilbo,]-a Spanish blade, fo flexible as to bend round. of my kidney]-corpulency.

from

from her another embaffy of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, master Brook.

Ford. 'Tis paft eight already, fir.

k

Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leifure, and you shall know how I fpeed; and the conclufion fhall be crown'd with your enjoying her: Adieu. You fhall have her, master Brook; mafter Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. [Exit.

Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vifion? is this a dream? do I fleep? master Ford, awake; awake, master Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, mafter Ford. This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen, and buck-baskets!Well, I will proclaim myself what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my house: he cannot 'fcape me; 'tis impoflible he fhould; he cannot creep into a half-penny purfe, nor into a pepper-box: but, left the devil that guides him should aid him, I will fearch impoffible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, fhall not make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be hornmad.

[Exit.

IV. SCENE I.

A CT IV.

Page's Houfe.

Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Quickly, and William.

Mrs. Page. Is he at mafter Ford's already, think'st thou? Quic. Sure, he is by this; or will be prefently: but truly, he is very courageous mad, about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford defires you to come fuddenly.

k addrefs me]-prepare-make myself ready for. Q4

Mrs.

Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young man here to school: Look, where his mafter comes; 'tis a playing-day, I fee.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans.

How now, fir Hugh? no fchool to-day?

Eva. No; mafter Slender is let the boys leave to play. Quic. Bleffing of his heart!

Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband fays, my fon profits nothing in the world at his book; I pray you, ask him fome queftions in his accidence.

Eva. Come hither, William ;-hold up your head;

come.

Mrs. Page. Come on, firrah; hold up your head; answer your master, be not afraid.

Eva. William, how many numbers is in nouns?

Will. Two.

Quic. Truly I thought there had been one number more; because they say, od's nouns.

Eva. Peace your tatlings. What is fair, William ?
Will. Pulcher.

Quic. Poulcats! there are fairer things than poulcats, fure.

Eva. You are a very fimplicity 'oman; I pray you, peace. What is Lapis, William?

Will. A ftone.

Eva. And what is a stone, William?

Will. A pebble.

Eva. No, it is Lapis, I pray you, remember in your prain.

Will. Lapis.

Eva. That is a good William: What is he, William, that does lend articles?

Will. Articles are borrow'd of the pronoun; and be thus declin'd, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, bæc, boc.

Eva. Nominativo, big, bag, bog;-pray you, mark: genitivo, bujus: Well, what is your accufative cafe? Will. Accufative, binc.

Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; Accufativo, bung, bang, bog.

Quic. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

Eva. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative cafe, William ?

Will. O-vocativo, O.

Eva. Remember, William; focative is, caret.
Quic. And that's a good root.

Eva. 'Oman, forbear.

Mrs. Page. Peace.

Eva. What is your genitive cafe plural, William?
Will. Genitive cafe?

Eva. Ay.

Will. Genitive, horum, barum, borum.

Quic. 'Vengeance of Giney's cafe! fie on her!-never name her, child, if fhe be a whore.

Eva. For fhame, 'oman.

Quic. You do ill to teach the child fuch words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves; and to call horum:-fie upon you!

Eva. 'Oman art thou lunatics? haft thou no understanding for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? thou art a foolish chriftian creatures, as I would defires.

Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace.

Eva. Shew me now, William, fome declenfions of your pronouns.

Will. Forfooth, I have forgot.

to hick and to back,]—to be unlucky.