And begg'd he'd tell 'em if he knew, 8. "Sirs," cries the umpire, "cease your pother— 66 And I'll be sworn that when you've seen If 9. "Well then, at once to ease your doubt," 66 (Then first the creature found a tongue) LESSON LXVII. The Country Bumpkin and Razor seller.-P. PINDAR. 1. A FELLOW, in a market-town, Most musical, cried razors up and down, And offer'd twelve for eighteen pence; Which, certainly, seem'd wond'rous cheap, And, for the money, quite a heap, That every man would buy, with cash and sense. 2. A country bumpkin the great offer heard; Poor Hodge, who suffer'd by a broad black beard, 3. "No matter if the fellow be a knave, Provided that the razors shave; It certainly will be a monstrous prize." So home the clown, with his good fortune, went,— And quickly soap'd himself to ears and eyes. 4. Being well lather'd, from a dish or tub, Hodge now began, with grinning pain, to grubJust like a hedger cutting furze : 'Twas a vile razor!—then the rest he try'd,All were impostors. "Ah!" Hodge sigh'd, "I wish my eighteen pence were in my purse.' 5. In vain to chase his beard, and bring the graces, He cut and dug, and whin'd, and stamp'd, and swore; Brought blood, and danc'd, blasphem'd, and made wry faces And curs'd each razor's body, o'er and o'er. His muzzle, form'd of opposition stuff, So kept it-laughing at the steel and suds. 6. Hodge, in a passion, stretched his angry jaws, Not fit to scrape a hog." 7. Hodge sought the fellow-found him-and begun- 8. "Friend," quoth the razor-man, "I'm not a knave. Upon my soul, I never thought That they would shave." 9. "Not think they'd shave?" quoth Hodge, with wond'ring eyes And voice not much unlike an Indian yell, "What were they made for then, you dog?" he cries. "Made!" quoth the fellow, with a smile-" to sell.” LESSON LXVIII. The Gascon Peasant and the Flies. 1. AT Neuchatel, in France, where they prepare Where they were made, they were sold for the immense But as salt water made their charms increase, In England, the fixed rate was eighteen pence. 2. This damsel had, to keep her in her farm, And such a glutton when you came to feed him, (See the ballad) scarcely could exceed him. 3. One morn she had prepared a monstrous bowl And would'nt go to church (good careful soul) Which if they got, Like my Lord Salisbury, he heaved a sigh, How I do envy you your lot." 3. Each moment did his appetite grow stronger; At length he could not bear it any longer, And, finding that the coast was clear, he quaffed *Pronounced soo-a sous is of the value of a half penny. 5. Scudding from church, the farmer's wife But stood aghast, and could not, for her life, Until she summoned breath enough to utter 66 And shortly, with a face of scarlet, The vixen* (for she was a vixen) flew Asking the when, and where, and how, and who 6. "The flies, you rogue !—the flies, you guttling dog! So out she bounced, and brought, with loud alarms, Who bore him to the Judge:-a little prig With angry bottle nose, Like a red-cabbage-rose, While lots of white ones flourish'd on his wig. 7. Looking at once both stern and wise, 8. "Pshaw," quoth the Judge, half peevish, and half pompous, "Why you're non-compos; You should have watched the bowl, as she desired, 9. "The man's a fool!-What question's this? * Vixen, a cross, quarrelsome woman. + Gens d'Armes, guards. + Varlet, a scoundrel. You've my authority, where'er you meet 'em, To kill the rogues, and, if you like, to eat 'em!" 10. "Zooks," cried the rustic, "I'm right glad to hear it. That stole the cream; let me come near it." And aiming one of his sledge-hammer blows The luckless blue bottle he smashed; And gratified a double grudge, For the same catapult completely smashed LESSON LXIX. The Progress of Untruth.-BYROM. 1. Two honest tradesmen meeting in the Strand,* 2. "But you shall hear ;-an odd affair indeed! But, by the bye, 'twas two black crows, not three." * Strand, the name of a street in London. + 'Change, for Exchange, a place where merchants and others meet to transact business. |