Sir, I AM entirely convinced of the truth of what you were pleased to say to me, when I was last with you alone. You told me then of the silly way I was in; but you told me so, and I saw you loved me, otherwise I could not obey your commands in letting you know my thoughts so sincerely as I do at pre'sent. "I know the creature for whom I resign so much of my character," is all that you said of her; but then the trifler has something in her so undesigning and harmless, that her guilt in one kind disappears by the comparison of her innocence ' in another. Will you, virtuous men, allow no alteration of offences? Must dear Chloe be called by the hard name you pious people give to common women? I keep the solemn promise I made you in writing to you the state of my mind, after your kind • admonition; and will endeavour to get the better of this fondness, which makes me so much her humble servant, that I am almost ashamed to subscribe • myself, ་ • Sir, • Yours, T. D.' THERE is no state of life so anxious as that of a • man who does not live according to the dictates of his own reason. It will seem odd to you, when I assure you that my love of retirement first of all • brought me to court; but this will be no riddle, when I acquaint you that I placed myself here with a design of getting so much money as might enable me to purchase a handsome retreat in the country. At present my circumstances enable me, and my duty prompts me, to pass away the remaining part of my life in such a retirement as I at first proposed to myself; but to my great misfortune I have entirely lost the relish of it, and should now return to the 6 country with greater reluctance than I at first came 'to court. I am so unhappy, as to know that what I am fond of are trifles, and that what I neglect is of 'the greatest importance: in short, I find a contest ' in my own mind between reason and fashion. I re'member you once told me, that I might live in the 'world and out of it at the same time. Let me beg of you to explain this paradox more at large to me, 'that I may conform my life, if possible, both to my duty and my inclination. 6 I SHALL here present my reader with a letter from a projector, concerning a new office which he thinks may very much contribute to the embellishment of the city, and to the driving barbarity out of our streets. I consider it as a satire upon projectors in general, and a lively picture of the whole art of modern criticism. • Sir, 'OBSERVING that you have thoughts of creat6 ing certain officers under you, for the inspection of several petty enormities which you yourself cannot 'attend to; and finding daily absurdities hung out upon the sign posts of this city, to the great scandal ' of foreigners, as well as those of our own country, 'who are curious spectators of the same; I do humbly propose that you would be pleased to make me your superintendant of all such figures and devices as are or shall be made use of on this occasion; with 'full powers to rectify or expunge whatever I shall 'find irregular or defective. For want of such an officer, there is nothing like sound literature and good sense to be met with in those objects, that are every where thrusting themselves out to the eye, ' and endeavouring to become visible. Our streets are filled with blue boars, black swans, and red lions; not to mention flying pigs and hogs in armour, with many other creatures more extraordinary than any ' in the deserts of Afric. Strange! that one who has all birds and beasts in nature to choose out of, should live at the sign of an Ens Rationis! My first task therefore should be, like that of 'Hercules, to clear the city from monsters. In the ⚫ second place I would forbid, that creatures of jarring ' and incongruous nature should be joined together in the same sign; such as the Bell and the Neat'stongue, the Dog and Gridiron. The Fox and Goose may be supposed to have met, but what has the Fox ' and Seven Stars to do together? And when did the • Lamb and Dolphin ever meet, except upon a signpost? As for the Cat and Fiddle, there is a conceit in it; and therefore I do not intend that any thing I have here said should affect it. I must however ob· serve to you upon this subject, that it is usual for a young tradesman, at his first setting up, to add to his own sign that of the master whom he served; as the husband, after marriage, gives a place to his mistress's arms in his own coat. This I take to have given rise to many of those absurdities which $ are committed over our heads; and, as I am in formed, first occasioned the three Nuns and a Hare, ' which we see so frequently joined together. I would therefore establish certain rules, for the determining how far one tradesman may give the sign of another, and in what cases he may be allowed to • quarter it with his own. In the third place, I would enjoin every shop to 'make use of a sign which bears some affinity to the wares in which it deals. What can be more incon• sistent, than to see a Bawd at the sign of the Angel, · or a Taylor at the Lion? A Cook should not live at the Boot, nor a Shoe-maker at the Roasted Pig; and yet, for want of this regulation, I have seen a Goat set up before the door of a perfumer, and the French King's head at a sword-cutler's. An ingenious foreigner observes, that several of those gentlemen who value themselves upon their 'families, and overlook such as are bred to trade, bear the tools of their forefathers in their coats of arms. I will not examine how true this is in fact; but though it may not be necessary for posterity thus to ¿ set up the sign of their forefathers, I think it highly . proper for those who actually profess the trade, to shew some such marks of it before their doors. • When the name gives an occasion for an ingenious C sign-post, I would likewise advise the owner to take ← that opportunity of letting the world know who he is. It would have been ridiculous for the ingenious Mrs. Salmon to have lived at the sign of the trout; for which reason she has erected before her house the figure of the fish that is her name-sake. Mr. Bell has likewise distinguished himself by a device of the ( same nature and here, Sir, I must beg leave to 'observe to you, that this particular figure of a bell has given occasion to several pieces of wit in this kind. A man of your reading must know, that Abel Drugger gained great applause by it in the time of 6 Ben Johnson. Our apocryphal heathen God is also represented by this figure; which, in conjunction with the dragon, makes a very handsome picture in 'several of our streets. As for the Bell-savage, which is the sign of a savage man standing by a bell, I was formerly very much puzzled upon the conceit of it, 'till I accidentally fell into the reading of an old ro'mance translated out of the French; which gives 'an account of a very beautiful woman who was found ✦ in a wilderness, and is called in the French, La Belle • Saurage; and is every where translated by our 'countrymen the Bell-savage. This piece of philo'sophy will, I hope, convince you that I have made sign-posts my study, and consequently qualified my'self for the employment which I solicit at your hands. But before I conclude my letter, I must 'communicate to you another remark which I have 'made upon the subject, with which I am now enter•taining you, namely, that I can give a shrewd guess at the humour of the inhabitant by the sign that hangs before his door. A surly choleric fellow generally makes choice of a bear; as men of milder dispositions frequently live at the lamb. Seeing a punch-bowl painted upon a sign near Charing-Cross, and very curiously garnished, with a couple of angels hovering over it, and squeezing a lemon into it, I had the curiosity to ask after the master of the house, and found, upon inquiry, as I had guessed by the little agremens upon his sign, that he was a Frenchman. I know, Sir, it is not requisite for me to enlarge upon these hints to a gentleman of your great abilities; so humbly recommending myself to your favour and patronage, ་ 'I remain, &c.' I shall add to the foregoing letter, another which came to me by the same penny-post. |
