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the person whom you are dealing with does not speak the
32. In sending verbal messages to your friends, it is
WORDS AND DEEDS.
"Tis good to speak in kindly guibga ORNIA
And soothe where'er we can;
And love link man to man.
the outh and
But stop not at the gentle words,
Let deeds with language dwell;
Should scatter crumbs as well.
The mercy that is warm and true,
Will lend a helping hand;
But builds upon the sand.
AT THE TABLE.
1. Family re-unions at meals should always be rendered pleasant and agreeable. The occasion is a proper one for the observance of all the social amenities, and should be marked by the most kindly interchange of thought and feeling. The minor etiquette of the table must always be remembered and observed. Over-haste in eating is as rude and vulgar as it is unhealthful.
2. No family is too poor to have the table covered with a white, clean cloth, ornamented with flowers in their season, and made inviting with refined manners and cheerful intercourse.
3. As soon as you are seated, place your table napkin across your knees, and put your roll, or bread, by the left side of your plate. As soon as you are helped, begin to eat; or, if the viands are too hot, take up your knife and fork and prepare to begin. Never wait for others, and never offer to pass on the plate to which you have been helped ; at least unless there should be no servant in attendance. The lady of the house who sends your plate to you is the best judge of precedence at her own table. Soup and fish should never be partaken of a second time. Whenever there is a servant to help you, never help yourself nor others unless requested to do so :: when the servant
ing, to breathe hård, to cough or sneeze without averting the head and covering the face with the napkin, to drink a whole glassful at once, or to drain a glass to the last drop, is inexpressibly vulgar.
4. The knife must never be carried to the mouth, nor should the spoon be, unless the nature of the food absolutely requires it.
5. The bread by your plate is to be broken, never cut. Mustard, salt, etc., are put at the side of the plate, and one vegetable should never be heaped on the top of the other. The wine glass, if used, is to be held by the stem, and never by the bowl, and the plate must never be tilted on any occasion. In eating one must not bend the head voraciously over the plate, extend the elbows, rattle the knife and fork, nor soil the table cloth ; but he must be quiet and gentle in all his movements.
6. Anything like greediness, haste, or indecision is illbred. Never take the choicest piece, nor take up one piece and lay it down in favor of another, nor hesitate as to which piece you will take, nor whether you will take one at all.. To be particular about such trifles shows a degree of heedless selfishness which is inconsistent with good manners.
7. There are different ways of disposing of the stones and seeds of fruit, such as cherries, plums, raisins, etc. They should be conveyed from the mouth and deposited upon the side of the plate in the least offensive manner. Very dainty feeders press out the stones with the fork, in the first instance, and thus get rid of the difficulty. This is the safest way for ladies.
going out of use in some parts of Christendom. To remain long in the dining room after the ladies have left, is a poor compliment to both the hostess and her fair visitors. Still worse is it to rejoin them with a flushed face and impaired powers of thought. A refined gentleman is always temperate.
9. Should you be asked to take wine, it is polite to select that which your interlocutor is drinking. If you invite a lady to take wine, you may ask which she will prefer, and then take the same yourself. Should you, however, prefer some other vintage, you can take it, by courteously requesting her permission.
10. It is still thought to be uncivil, in some countries, to decline taking wine if you are invited to do so. cepting you have only to pour a little fresh wine into your glass, look at the person who invites you, bow slightly and take a sip. It is particularly ill-bred to empty your glass on such occasions. Of course, if you are a total abstainer,
will make that fact a respectful excuse for declining the proffered compliment. It should ever be borne in mind that the greatest misery and wretchedness which afflict mankind, and which visit children to the third and fourth generation with insanity and disease, are attributed to the vice of intemperance, and especially to that form of intemperance which shows itself in the misuse of intoxicating drinks.
11. If you should unfortunately be so awkward as to overturn or break anything, never apologize for it; for there is simply no possible excuse for such a blunder.
12. If you send your plate to be helped a second time, it is well to hold your knife and fork in the left hand.
piace, nor appear to have done eating, till all her guests have finished. Nor should she reprove her servants before guests, nor make excuses for anything that may go wrong.
14. All well ordered dinners begin with soup, whether in summer or winter. The lady of the house should help it, and send it round without asking each individual in turn -it is as much an understood thing as the bread beside
each plate; and those who do not choose it are always at If liberty to leave it untasted.
15. Finger-glasses containing water slightly warmed and perfumed are placed before each person at dessert. In these you dip your fingers, wiping them afterwards on your table napkin. If the finger-glass and doily are placed on your dessert plate, you should immediately remove the doily to the left hand, and place the finger-glass upon it. Of course you will never use your goblet nor your tumbler as a finger-glass ; for people would naturally think that such a shocking misuse of things is not an exceptional instance with you.
16. Never address your conversation to a person immediately on his taking a seat at the table, because the partaking of food is regarded by some as a kind of sacrament; which they precede by a private grace whenever it is omitted as a ceremony for the company present. By speaking to them at this moment you might give them a disagreeable interruption.
17. It need hardly be said that the proper place for eating is at the table, and that fruit and other kinds of food should not be eaten in the streets, nor at public assemblies where it is not provided for all. Well-bred persons will always observe the proprieties of time and place.
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