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your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill kill'd>How doth good mistress Page ?-and I love you always with my heart, la; with my heart. Page. Sir, I thank you. Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no I do. Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender.
Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, Sir? I heard say, he was out-run on Cotsale.*
Page. It could not be judged, Sir.
Shal. That he will not;—'tis your fault, 'tis your fault:-"Tis a good dog. Page. A cur, Sir.
Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; Can there be more said? he is good, and fair.—Is Sir John Falstaff here?
Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.
Eva. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.
Shal. If it be confess'd, it is not redress'd; is not that so, master Page? He hath wrong'd me; indeed, he hath;—at a word, he hath ;-believe me;-Robert Shallow, esquire, saith he is wrongd.
Page. Here comes Sir John.
Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge.
Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter?
Fal. I will answer it straight; I have done all this:-That is now answerd.
Shal. The Council shall know this.
Fal. 'Twere better for you, if it were known in counsel: you'll be laugh’d at.
Eva. Pauca verba, Sir John, good worts.
† good cabbage.-Slender, I broke your head: What matter have you against me?
Slen. Marry, Sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against
your coney-catching I rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.
Bard. You Banbury cheese! $
* Cotswold, in Gloucestershire. + Worts was the ancient name of all the cabbage kind. Sharpers. Nothing but paring.
|| The name of an ugly spirit
Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca ; * slice! that's my humour.
Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between them.
Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the cause, with as great discreetly as we can.
Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, He hears with ear? Why it is affectations.
Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse ?
Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else,) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, † that cost me two shillings and two-pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.
Fal. Is this true, Pistol ?
Slen. By these gloves, then 'twas he.
Nym. Be advised, Sir, and pass good humours: I will say, marry trap, with you, if you run the nuthook’s|| humour on me; that is the very note of it.
ślen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.
Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John ?
Bard. Why, Sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences.
Eva. It is his five senses : fie, what the ignorance is!
Bard. And being fap, Sir, was, as they say, cashierd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires. **
Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter : I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. Eva. So Got’udge me, that is a virtuous mind.
Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.
* Few words.
Enter MISTRESS ANNE PAGE with wine; MISTRESS FORD and
MISTRESS PAGE following. Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.
[Exit ANNE PAGE. Slen. O heavens, this is mistress Anne Page. Page. How now, mistress Ford ?
Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress.
[Kissing her. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome :-Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.
[Exeunt all but SHALLOW, SLENDER, and Evans. Slen. I had rather than forty shillings, I had my book of songs and sonnets here :
Enter SIMPLE. How now, Simple! where have you been ? I must wait on myself, must I ? You have not The Book of Riddles about you, have you ?
Sim. Book of Riddles ! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas ?*
Shal. Come, coz ; come, coz ; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry, this, coz: There is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here. Do you understand me?
Slen. Ay, Sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason.
Shal. Nay, but understand me.
Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says : I
pray you pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here.
Eva. But that is not the question ; the question is concerning your marriage.
Shal. Ay, there's the point, Sir.
Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to mistress Anno Page.
Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her, upon any reasonable demands.
Eva. But can you affection the 'oman ? Let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is parcel of the mouth;—Therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid?
Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?
Slen. I hope, Sir,-I will do, as it shall become one that would do reason.
Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must speak possitaole, if you can carry her your desires towards her.
Shai. That you must: Will you, upon good dowry, marry her? Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason.
* An intended blunder.
Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do, is to pleasure you, coz: Can you love the maid ?
Šlen. I will marry her, Sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married, and have more occasion to know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, marry her, I will marry her, that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.
Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the faul is in the ’ort dissolutely; the 'ort is, according to our meaning, resolutely; his meaning is good.
Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
Re-enter ANNE PAGE.
Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company.
Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne.
[Exeunt SHALLOW and SIR H. EVANS.
Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth: Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow: [Exit SIMPLE.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man: I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: But what though ? yet I live like a poor gentleman born.
Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come.
Slen. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.
Anne. I pray you, Sir, walk in.
Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you ; I bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys* for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so ? be there bears i' the town?
Anne. I think there are, Sir; I heard them talked of.
Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it, as any man in England.--You are afraid, if you see the bear looss, are you not?
Anne. Ay, indeed, Sir.
Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have seen Sackersont loose twenty times; and have taken him by the chain :
* Three set-to's, bouts, or hits.
but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shrieked at it, that it passed :* but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favoured ro..gh things.
Re-enter PAGE. Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come, we stay for you. Slen. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, Sir. Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, Sir: come, come. Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. Page. Come on, Sir. Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. Anne. Not I, Sir; pray you, keep on. Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la ; I will not do you Anne. I pray you, Sir.
Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome: you do yourself wrong, indeed, la.
[Exeunt. SCENE II.—The same.
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE. Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house, which is the way: and there dwells one mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.
Simp. Well, Şir.
-give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with mistress Anne Page; and the letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your master's desires to mistress Anne Page: I pray you, begone; I will make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to
[Exeunt. SCENE III.-A Room in the Garler Inn. Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, NYM PISTOL, and
ROBIN. Fal. Mine host of the Garter,Host. What says my bully-rook ? Speak scholarly and wisely.
Fal. Truly, mine host, I inust turn away some of my followers.
Host. Discard, bully Hercules ; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot.
Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week.
Host. Thou’rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar, I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector ?
Fal. Do so, good mine host.
Host. I have spoke; let him follow: Let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow.
[Exit Host. * Surpassed all expression.