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And round about the pole does make

I wish myself a pseudo-prophet, A circle, like a bear at stake,

But sure some mischief will come of it, That at the chain's end wheels about,

Unless by providential wit, And overturns the rabble-rout:

Or force, we averruncate it. For after solemn proclamation

For what design, what interest, In the bear's name, (as is the fashion

Can beast have to encounter beast? According to the law of arms,

They fight for no espoused cause, To keep men from inglorions barms)

Frail privilege, fundamental laws, That none presume to come so near

Nor for a thorough reformation, As forty foot of stake of bear,

Nor covenant nor protestation, If any yet be so fool-hardy,

Nor liberty of consciences, T'expose themselves to vain jeopardy,

Nor lords and commons' ordinances; If they come wounded off, and lame,

Nor for the church, nor for church-lands,
No honour's got by such a maim,

To get them in their own no-hands;
Although the bear gain much, being bound Nor evil counsellors to bring
In honour to make good his ground

To justice, that seduce the king;
When he's engag'd, and takes no notice,

Nor for the worship of us men, If any press upon bim, who 'tis,

Though we have done as much for them. But lets them know, at their own cost,

Th’Egyptians worship'd dogs, and for That he intends to keep his post.

Their faith made internecine war. This to prevent, and other harms,

Others ador'd a rat, and some Which always wait on feats of arms,

For that church suffer'd martyrdom. (For in the hurry of a fray

The Indians fought for the truth 'Tis hard to keep out of harm's way;)

Of th' elephant and monkey's tooth: Thither the knight his course did steer,

And many, to defend that faith, To keep the peace 'twixt dog and bear,

Fought it out mordicus to death; As he believ'd h' was bound to do

But no beast ever was so slight, In conscience and commission too;

For man, as for his God, to fight. And therefore thus bespoke the squire :

They have more wit, alas! and know “We, that are wisely mounted higher

Themselves and us better than so: Than constables in curule wit,

But we, who only do infuse When on tribunal bench we sit,

The rage in them, like boute-feus, Like speculators should foresee,

'Tis our example that instils From Pharos of authority,

In them th' infection of our ills. Portended mischiefs farther than

For, as some late philosophers Low Proletarian tything-men;

Have well observ'd, beasts that converse And therefore, being inform’d by bruit

With man take after him, as hogs That dog and bear are to dispute,

Get pigs all th' year, and bitches dogs. For so of late men fighting name,

Just so, by our example, cattle Because they often prove the same,

Learn to give one another battle. (For where the first does hap to be,

We read in Nero's time, the heathen, The last does coincidere)

When they destroy'd the Christian brethren, Quantum in nobis, have thought good

They sew'd them in the skins of bears, To save th' expense of Christian blood,

And then set dogs about their ears; And try if we, by mediation

From whence, no doubt, th' invention came Of treaty and accommodation,

Of this lewd antichristian game Can end the quarrel, and compose

To this, quoth Ralpho, “Verily The bloody duel without blows.

The point seems very plain to me: Are not our liberties, our lives,

It is an antichristian game, The laws, religion, and our wives,

Unlawful both in thing and naine. Enough at once to lie at stake

First, for the name; the word bear-baiting For covenant and the cause's sake?

Is carnal, and of man's creating; But in that quarrel dogs and bears,

For certainly there's no such word As well as we, must venture theirs ?

In all the scripture on record ; This feud, by Jesuits invented,

Therefore unlawful, and a sin; By evil counsel is fomented;

And so is (secondly) The thing: There is a Machiavilian plot,

A vile assembly 'tis, that can (Though every nare olfact it not)

No more be prov'd by scripture, than And deep design in 't to divide

Provincial, classic, national, The well-affected that confide,

Mere human creature-cobwebs all By setting brother against brother,

Thirdly, it is idolatrous; To claw and curry one another.

For when men run a-whoring thus Have we not enemies plus satis,

With their inventions, whatsoe'er That cane et angue pejus hate us ?

The thing be, whether dog or bear, And shall we turn our fangs and claws

It is idolatrous and pagan, Upon our own selves without cause?

No less than worshiping of Dagon." That some occult design doth lie

Quoth Hudibras, “ I smell a rat; In bloody cynarctomachy,

Ralpho, thou dost prevaricate: Is plain enough to him that knows

For though the thesis which thou lay'st How saints lead brothers by the pose

Be true ad umussim, as thou say'st;

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(For that bear-baiting should appear

We're not the only person durst Jure divino lawfuller

Attempt this province, nor the first. Than synods are, thou dost deny

In northern clime a valorous knight Totidem verbis, so do I)

Did whilom kill his bear in fight, Yet there's a fallacy in this;

And wound a fiddler: we have both For if by sly homæosis,

Of these the objects of our wroth, Tussis pro crepitu, an art

And equal fame and glory from Under a cough to slur a fết,

Th' attempt, or victory to come. Thou would sophistically imply

'Tis sung there is a valiant Mamaluke, Both are unlawful, I deny."

In foreign land yclep'd -; “ And I," quoth Ralpho,“ do not doubt To whom we have been oft compar'd But bear-baiting may be made out,

For person, parts, address, and beard; In gospel-times, as lawful as is

Both equally reputed stout, Provincial or parochial classis ;

And in the same cause both have fought; And that both are so near of kin,

He oft in such attempts as these And like in all, as well as sin,

Came off with glory and success : That, put them in a bag, and shake them,

Nor will we fail in th' execution, Yourself a' th’ sudden would mistake them, For want of equal resolution. And not know which is which, unless

Honour is like a widow, won You measure by their wickedness;

With brisk attempt and putting on; For 'tis not hard timagine whether

With entering manfully, and urging, O'th' two is worst, though I name neither." Not slow approaches, like a virgin.” Quoth Hudibras, “ Thou offer'st much,

This said, as erst the Phrygian knight, But art not able to keep touch.

So our's, with rusty steel did smite Mira de lente, as 'tis i’ th' adage,

His Trojan horse, and just as much Id est, to make a leek a cabbage;

He mended pace upon the touch ; Thou wilt at best but suck a bull,

But from his empty stomach groan'd, Or shear swine, all cry, and no wool;

Just as that hollow beast did sound, For what can synods have at all,

And, angry, answer'd from behind, With bear that's analogical ?

With brandish'd tail and blast of wind. Or what relation has debating

So have I seen, with armed heel, Of church affairs with bear-baiting?

A wight bestride a Commonweal, A just comparison still is

While still, the more he kick'd and spurr'd Of things ejusdem generis :

The less the sullen jade has stirr'd.
And then what genus rightly doth
Include and comprehend them both?
If animal, both of us may
As justly pass for bears as they ;

PART I. CANTO II.
For we are animals no less,
Although of different specieses.
But Ralpho, this is no fit place,

THE ARGUMENT.
Nor time, to argue out the case :
For now the field is not far off,

The catalogue and character
Where we must give the world a proof

Of th' enemies best men of war, Of deeds, not words, and such as suit

Whom, in a bold harangue, the knight Another manner of dispute:

Defies, and challenges to fight: A controversy that affords

H' encounters Talgol, routs the bear, Actions for arguments, not words ;

And takes the fiddler prisoner, Which we must manage at a rate

Conveys him to enchanted castle, Of prowess and conduct adequate

There shuts him fast in wooden Bastile. To what our place and fame doth promise, And all the Godly expect from ns. Nor shall they be deceiv’d, unless

There was an ancient sage philosopher, We're slurr'd and outed by success;

That had read Alexander Ross over, Success, the mark no mortal wit,

And swore the world, as he could prove, Or surest hand, can always hit :

Was made of fighting and of love. For whatsoe'er we perpetrate,

Just so romances are, for what else We do but row, ware steer'd by Fate,

Is in them all, but love and battles ? Which in success oft disinherits,

Duth' first of these w' have no great matter For spurious causes, noblest merits.

To treat of, but a world o' the latter, Great actions are not always true sons

In which to do the injur'd right, Of great and mighty resolutions ;

We mean, in what concerns just fight. Nor do the bold'st attempts bring forth

Certes our authors are to blame, Events still equal to their worth;

Por, to make some well-sounding name But sometimes fail, and in their stead

A pattern fit for modern knights Fortune and cowardice succeed.

To copy out in frays and fights, Yet we have no great cause to doubt,

"(Like those that a whole street do raze, Our actions still have borne us out;

To build a palace in the place,) Which, thongh they're known to be so ample, They never care how many others We need not copy from example;

They kill, without regard of mothers,

Or wives, or children, so they can

These being prim'd, with force he labour'd Make up some, fierce, dead-doing man,

To free's sword from retentive scabbard ; Compos'd pf many ingredient valours,

And after many a painful pluck, Just like the manhood of nine tailors :

From rusty durance he bail'd tuck: So a wild Tartar, when he spies

Then shook himself, to see that prowess A man that's handsome, valiant, wise,

In scabbard of his arms sat loose; If he can kill him, thinks t' inherit

And, rais'd upon his desperate foot, His wit, his beauty, and his spirit :

On stirrup-side he gaz'd about, As if just so much he enjoy'd,

Portending blood, like blazing star, As in another is destroy'd :

The beacon of approaching war. For when a giant's slain in fight,

Ralpho rode on with no less speed And mow'd o'erthwart, or cleft downright,

Than Hugo in the forest did; It is a heavy case, no doubt,

But far more in returning made; A man should have his brains beat out,

For now the foe he had survey'd, Because he's tall, and has large bones,

Kang'd, as to him they did appear, As men kill beavers for their stones.

With van, main-battle, wings, and rear. But as for our part, we shall tell

ľth' head of all this warlike rabble, The naked truth of what befell,

Crowdero' march’d, expert and able. And as an equal friend to both

Instead of trumpet and of drum, The knight and bear, but more to troth,

That makes the warrior's stomach come, With neither faction shall take part,

Whose noise whets valour sharp, like beer But give to each his due desert,

By thunder turn'd to vinegar, And never coin a formal lie on't,

(For if a trumpet sound, or drum beat, To make the knight o'ercome the giant.

Who has not a month's mind to combat ?) This b'ing profest, we've hopes enough,

A squeaking engine he apply'd And now go on where we left off.

Unto his neck, on north-east side, They rode, but anthors having not

Just where the hangman does dispose, Determind whether pace or trot,

To special friends, the knot of noose: (That is to say, whether tollutation,

For 'tis great grace, when statesmen straight As they do term't, or succussation)

Dispatch a friend, let others wait. We leave it, and go on, as now

His warped ear hung o'er the strings, Suppose they did, no matter how ;

Which was but souse to chitterlings : Yet som, from subtle hints, have got

For guts, some write, ere they are sodden, Mysterious light it was a trot.

Are fit for music or for pudden; Bat let that pass: they now begun

From whence men borrow every kind To spur their living engines on:

Of minstrelsy by string or wind. For as whipp'd tops and bandy'd balls,

His grisly beard was long and thick, The learned hold, are animals;

With which he strung his fiddle-stick; So horses they affirm to be

For he to horse-tail scorn'd to owe Mere engines made by geometry,

For what on his own chin did grow. And were invented first from engines,

Chiron, the four-legg'd bard, had both As Indian Britains were from penguins.

A beard and tail of his own growth; So let them be, and, as I was saying,

And yet by authors 'tis averr'd, They their live engines ply'd, not staying

He made use only of his beard. Until they reach'd the fatal champaign

In Staffordshire, where virtuous worth Which th' enemy did then encamp on;

Does raise the minstrelsy, not birth, The dire Pharsalian plain, where battle

Where bulls do choose the boldest king Was to be wag'd 'twixt puissant cattle

And ruler o'er the men of string, And fierce auxiliary men,

(As once in Persia, 'tis said, That came to aid their brethren;

Kings were proclaim'd by a horse that neigh’d,) Who now began to take the field,

He, bravely venturing at a crown, As knight from ridge of steed beheld.

By chance of war was beaten down, For as our modern wits behold,

And wounded sore: his leg, then broke, Mounted a pick-back on the old,

Had got a deputy of oak; Much further off, much further he,

For when a shin in fight is cropt, Rais'd on his aged beast, could see;

The knee with one of timber's propt, Yet not sufficient to descry

Esteem'd more honourable than the other, All postures of the enemy :

And takes place, though the younger brother. Wherefore he bids the squire ride further,

Next march'd brave Orsin ?, famous for T" observe their numbers and their order,

Wise conduct, and success in war; That when their motions he had known,

A skilful leader, stout, severe, He might know how to fit his own.

Now marshal to the champion bear. Meanwhile he stopp'd his willing steed,

With truncheon tipp'd with iron head, To fit himself for martial deed:

The warrior to the lists he led; Both kinds of metal he prepard,

With solemn march, and stately pace,
Either to give blows or to ward ;

But far more grave and solemn face;
Courage and steel, both of great force,
Prepar'd for better or for worse.

i So called from crowd, a fiddle. His death-charg'd pistols he did fit well,

· Joshua Gosling, who kept bears at Paris GarDrawn out from life-preserving vittle.

den in Southwark.

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Grave as the emperor of Pegu,

Replete with strange hermetic powder, Or Spanish potentate, don Diego.

That wounds nine miles point-blank with solder ; This leader was of knowledge great,

By skilful chymist, with great cost, Either for charge or for retreat:

Extracted from a rotten post; He knew when to fall on pell-mell,

But of a heavenlier influence To fall back, and retreat as well.

Than that which mountebanks dispense ;
So lawyers, lest the Bear defendant,

Though by Promethean fire made,
And plaintiff Dog, should make an end on't, As they do quack that drive that trade.
Do stave and tail with writs of error,

For as when slovens do amiss
Reverse of judgment, and demurrer,

At others' doors, by stool or piss, To let them breathe a while, and then

The leamed write, a red-hot spit Cry “Whoop," and set them on agen.

B'ing prudently apply'd to it, As Romulus a wolf did rear,

Will convey mischief from the dung So he was dry-nurs'd by a bear,

Unto the part that did the wrong ; That fed him with the purchas'd prey

So this did bealing, and as sure Of many a fierce and bloody fray;

As that did mischief, this would cure. Bred up, where discipline most rare is,

Thus virtuous Orsin was endued In military Garden Paris :

With learning, conduct, fortitude, For soldiers, heretofore, did grow

Incomparable; and as the prince In gardens just as weeds do now,

Of poets, Homer, sung long since, Until some splay-foot politicians

A skilful leech is better far T" Apollo offered up petitions

Than half a hundred men of war; For licensing a new invention

So he appear'd, and by his skill, They 'ad found out of an antique engine,

No less than dint of sword, could kill. To root out all the weeds, that grow

The gallant Bruin march'd next him, In public gardens, at a blow,

With visage formidably grim, And leave th' herbs standing. Quoth sir Sun, And rugged as a Saracen, “My friends, that is not to be done.”

Or Turk of Mahomet's own kin, “ Not done !” quoth Statesman; yes, an't please Clad in a mantle della guerre When 'tis once known, you'll say 'tis easy." [ye, Of rough impenetrable fur; “ Why then let's know it,” quoth Apollo:

And in his nose, like Indian king, “ We'll beat a drum, and they'll all follow.” He wore, for ornament, a ring; “ A drum !” quoth Phoebus, “ Troth that's true, About his neck a threefold gorget, A pretty invention, quaint and new:

As rough as trebled leathern target; But though of voice and instrument

Armed, as heralds cant, and langued, We are th' undoubted president,

Or, as the vulgar say, sharp-fanged : We such loud music do not profess,

For as the teeth in beasts of prey The Devil's master of that office,

Are swords, with which they fight in fray, Where it must pass; if 't be a drum,

So swords, in men of war, are teeth He'll sign it with Cler. Parl. Dom. Com. ;

Which they do eat their vittle with. To him apply yourselves, and he

He was by birth, some authors write, Will soon dispatch you for his fee."

A Russian, some a Muscovite, They did so; but it prov'd so ill,

And ’mong the Cossacks had been bred, They'd better let them grow there still.

Of whom we in diurnals read, But to resume what we discoursing

That serve to fill up pages here, Were or before, that is, stout Orsin;

As with their bodies ditches there. That which so oft by sundry writers

Scrimansky was his cousin-german, Has been apply'd t’ almost all fighters,

With whom he serv'd, and fed on vermin ; More justly may be ascrib'd to this

And when these fail'd, he'd suck his claws, Than any other warrior, (viz.)

And quarter himself upon his paws: None ever acted both parts bolder,

And though his countrymen, the Huns, Both of a chieftain and a soldier.

Did stew their meat between their bums He was of great descent, and high

And th' horses' backs o'er which they straddle For splendour and antiquity,

And every man ate up his saddle; And from celestial origine

He was not half so nice as they, Deriv'd himself in a right line;

But ate it raw when 't came in's way. Not as the ancient heroes did,

He 'ad trac'd the countries far and near, Who, that their base-births might be hid

More than Le Blanc the traveller, (Knowing they were of doubtful gender,

Who writes, he spous'd in India, And that they came in at a windore)

Of noble house, a lady gay, Made Jupiter bimself, and others

And got on her a race of worthies, O'th' gods, gallants to their own mothers,

As stout as any upon Earth is. To get on them a race of champions,

Full many a fight for him between (Of which old Homer first made lampoons) Talgol and Orsin oft had been, Arctophylax, in worthern sphere,

Each striving to deserve the crown Was his undoubted ancestor;

Of a sav'd citizen ; the one From him his great forefathers came,

To guard his bear, the other fought And in all ages bore his name:

To aid his dog ; both made more stout Learn'd he was in med'cinal lore,

By several spurs of neighbourhood, For by his side a pouch he wore,

Church-fellow-membership, and blood;

But Talgol, mortal foe to cows,

The trumpet and the kettle-drum Never got aught of him but blows;

Did both from his invention come. Blows, hard and heavy, such as he

He was the first that e'er did teach Had lent, repaid with usury.

To make, and how to stop a breach. Yet Talgol 3 was of courage stout,

A lance he bore with iron pike, And vanquish'd oftener than he fought;

Th’ one half would thrust, the other strike; Inur'd to labour, sweat, and toil,

And when their forces he had join'd, And, like a champion, shone with oil:

He scorn'd to turn his parts behind. Right many a widow his keen blade,

He Trullas lov'd, Trulla, more bright And many fatherless, had made;

Than burnish'd armour of her knight; He many a boar and huge dun-cow

A bold virago, stout and tall, Did, like another Guy, o'erthrow;

As Joan of France, or English Mall : But Guy, with him in fight compar'd,

Through perils both of wind and limb,
Had like the boar or dun-cow far'd:

Through thick and thin she follow'd him
With greater troops of sheep h’ had fought In every adventure hundertook,
Than Ajax or bold Don Quixote;

And never him or it forsook:
And many a serpent of fell kind,

At breach of wall, or hedge surprise, With wings before and stings behind,

She shar'd i'th' hazard and the prize;
Subdued; as poets say, long agone,

At beating quarters up, or forage,
Bold sir George, saint George, did the dragon. Behav'd herself with matchless courage,
Nor engine, nor device polemic,

And laid about in fight more busily
Disease, nor doctor epidemic,

Than th' Amazonian dame Penthesile. Though stor'd with deletery med'cines,

And though some critics here cry shame, (Which whosoever took is dead since)

And say our authors are to blame, E'er sent so vast a colony

That (spite of all philosophers, To both the under worlds as he;

Who hold no females stout but bears, For he was of that noble trade,

And heretofore did so abhor That demi-gods and heroes made,

That women should pretend to war, Slaughter, and knocking on the head,

They would not suffer the stout'st dame The trade to which they all were bred;

To swear by Hercules's name) And is, like others, glorious when

Make feable ladies, in their works, 'Tis great and large, but base, if mean:

To fight like termagants and Turks ; The former rides in triumph for it,

To lay their native arms aside, The latter in a two-wheel'd chariot,

Their modesty, and ride astride; For daring to profane a thing

To run a-tilt at men, and wield So sacred with vile bungling.

Their naked tools in open field; Next these the brave Magnano 4 came,

As stout Armida, bold Thalestris, Magnano, great in martial fame;

And she that would have been the mistress Yet when with Orsin he wag'd fight,

Of Gundibert, but he had grace, 'Tis sung he got but little by 't:

And rather took a country lass; Yet he was fierce as forest-boar,

They say, 'tis false, without all sense, Whose spoils upon his back he wore,

But of pernicious consequence As thick as Ajax' seven-fold shield,

To government, which they suppose Which o'er his brazen arms he held;

Can never be upheld in prose; But brass was feeble to resist

Strip Nature naked to the skin, The fury of his armed fist;

You'll find about her no such thing. Nor could the hardest ir'n hold out

It may be so, yet what we tell Against his blows, but they would through 't, Of Trulla, that's improbable, In magic he was deeply read,

Shall be depos'd by those have seen 't, As he that made the brazen head;

Or, what's as good, produc'd in print ; Profoundly skill'd in the black art,

And if they will not take our word, As English Merlin for his heart;

We'll prove it true upon record. But far more skilful in the spheres,

The upright Cerdon next advanc't, Than he was at the sieve and shears.

Of all his race the valiant'st: He could transform himself in colour,

Cerdon the Great, renown'd in song, As like the Devil as a collier;

Like Herc'les, for repair of wrong: As like as hypocrites, in show,

He rais'd the low, and fortify'd
Are to true saints, or crow to crow.

The weak against the strongest side:
Of warlike engines he was author,
Devis'd for quick dispatch of slaughter:
The cannon, blunderbuss, and saker,

5 The daughter of James Spenser, debauched by He was th' inventor of, and maker:

Magnano the tinker. So called, because the tinker's

wife or mistress was commonly called his trull. 3 A butcher in Newgate-market, who afterwards 6 Alluding, probably, to Mary Carlton, called obtained a captain's commission for his rebellious Kentish Moll, but more commonly the German bravery at Naseby.

Princess; a person notorious at the time this First 4 Simeon Wait a tinker, as famous an independ- | Part of Hudibras was published. She was transent preacher as Burroughs; who, with equal blas- ported to Jamaica 1671; but returning from transphemy to his Lord of Hosts, would style Oliver portation too soon, she was hanged at Tyburn Jan. Cromwell the Archangel giving battle to the Devil. 22, 1672-3.

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