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them in Prayer, that they, who are not fufficient of themselves, may, by that Sufficiency, which is of God, be made able Minifters of the New Testament,

and, in a due Discharge of their Office, fave both themfelves, and thofe, that bear them.

TH

3. Between Hufband and Wife.

HE Rights and Duties which arise from a married State, may be confidered, either, 1. As they belong to the Man and Woman promifcuously; or, 2. As they more peculiarly belong to cach of them, confidered diftinctly.

1. Since Marriage then is a Conjunction of Man and Woman, after the most strict and indiffoluble Manner, and for their mutual Happiness, as long as they both fhall live; 'tis moft agreeable to the Nature, and absolutely requifite to this End of it, that they should entirely love one another; because it is impoffible, that, where this Paffion is not ftrong and reciprocal, either the Unity fhould be preferved, or the Happiness attained, which is propofed by both Parties, when they contract to enter into it. And this Reflection may serve to discover to us the imprudent Conduct of those, who, upon Motives of Intereft, or any temporal Views whatever, marry without confulting their Inclination, or perhaps, in fome Refpects, contrary to it, and fo involve themselves in Inconveniencies, greater than the Advantages, which they could propofe, are capable of balancing. By this Means it comes to pafs, that many Times People of great Degree and Rank are made miserable, and more miferable than their Inferiors. Refpect is generally had either to Birth and Quality, or to Fortune and Alliance, without any Regard to Virtue, and good Qualities, and other Endowments, profer to engage and detain the Affections: And

hence

hence they become fplendidly and exemplarily un happy, as if it were the Sport of Fortune to level Mankind, and, by fome odd Difafter, or their own Folly, to reduce the greatest People to an Equality of Mifery and Trouble with their Inferiors.

Thofe therefore, that propofe Happiness to themselves in the Conjugal State, muft be fure to Jay the Foundation thereof in Love; and, as their Love is to continue unto their Lives End, muft needs be obliged to take fuch Courses, as are proper to confirm and ftrengthen it; and to avoid all Manner of Occafions, that may any ways impair, or weaken it. Some of the ancient Chriftians would allow the Wives to employ more Art and Coft, in decking and adorning themselves, than they did fingle Women; because they judged it abfolutely neceffary to the Peace and Happiness of their Lives, to preferve and secure to themselves the Affections of their Husbands: And, in like Manner, Hufbands fhould take more Care than ordinary to continue their Affections to them; and, to this End, fhould not fuffer Error or Mif takes, Miscarriages or light Offences, Infirmities and Indifcretions, to alienate their Hearts, or give them a mean Opinion of their Understanding or Management. They, who cannot bear with many Failings and Defects, and cannot make a great many Allowances, are but badly fitted for Society and Friendship in general, and much lefs for a Society fo conftant and continued, as the married State requires, and therefore, if those, that are engaged therein, will not confider with themfelves the Imperfections of human Nature; if they will not remember their own Miftakes and Mifcarriages; if they will be unreafonable, take Advantages, and make ill-natured Obfervations and Reflections on the Follies and Weakneffes of their Partners; if they will treasure them up in Memory, and make

them

them Occafions of Diftruft, and Topics of Upbraiding, and unfeemly Revilings; they will quickly fee an End of Peace and Quietnefs, and foon find that their Love will cool and grow languid.

2. Another Duty, common to Husband and Wife, is Fidelity, or a juft Observation of their Engagements, and folemn Vows; and this is a Duty fo effentially neceffary to the Marriage-State, that any notorious Breach and Violation of it, not only invalidates the most religious Contracts, and fets the innocent Party at full Liberty, but even diffolves the Marriage-Band itself immediately before God. It is indeed the Ground and Foundation of all Marriage-Promises, and the Suppofition, upon which all fuch Engagements are built; and therefore, when this Suppofition fails, when this Ground and Foundation of the Contract and Engagement is removed and overturned, the Con-, zract is itself no longer binding to the innocent and unoffending Party. They may proceed in their Engagements indeed, if they pleafe; but the Tranfgreffion of the other Side fets them at Liberty, notwithstanding the moft ferious and most folemn Promises.

And as Perfidy in this Kind is the Diffolution of the Band of Matrimony, fo is it a Crime of fo deep a Guilt, as can never be attoned in this World, and of fuch horrible Injuftice, as can admit of no Reparation or Amendment. And therefore how careful fhould all married Perfons be, not only to adhere strictly to the Letter of their Marriage-Vow, fo as never to falfify it by any direct Violation; but to forbear, as much as poffible, all Advances, and avoid all Occafions, that may betray them into fo heinous a Crime! And to this Purpose, the best and fafeft Way will be, to keep their Heart with all Diligence, fo as to admit no foreign Inclination, or Defire; but if they cannot

always

always fhut their Eyes against thofe Objects, which are apt to affect them; if, through Inadvertency, or Surprise, it cannot be helped, but that fome irregular Emotions muft unavoidably arife in their Minds, their next and immediate Care fhould be, to repel, and, as foon as they can, totally to fupprefs them; left by Degrees they gather Strength, and get the Dominion over them; which has poffibly been the Cafe of many Perfons, who, in the firft Effays of their Inclination, apprehended nothing dangerous, nor defigned any Thing criminal.

3. Another Duty, common to both, is their taking all fuch prudent Methods in their Behaviour, as may remove all Occafions of Jealousy and Diftruft. For as all private Advances towards other Perfons, by Way of criminal Address, are highly culpable, and to be avoided with the greatest Caution; fo, when they are made in an open or more undisguised Manner, when they break out into Indecencies too notorious to be concealed, even from the offended Party, this is provoking to the last Degree, and apt to excite a Paffion, of all others the most difficult to be reftrained, and called by Solomon the Rage of a Man, though the other Sex are sometimes tranfported with it beyond the Nature, the Mildness, and Modesty of their Temper. And therefore all Freedoms and Familiarities with others, that may give an untoward Umbrage, must be declined; and all Difcourses, that may allure into Sin, rejected with Abhorrence. The Eye, the Tongue, and the Ears must be all kept chafte; the Garb and Apparel be modeft and unaffected; and the whole Carriage honeft and inoffenfive, and void of Sufpicion, as well as Blame. Nor are the Occafions of Jealousy and Diftruft to be mutually avoided only in the tender Point of matrimonial Chastity, but even in all

others,

others, wherein either their common, or their feparate Interests (fo far as they can be fuppofed to have any separate) are concerned. They ought, particularly, to concur in all the Methods of Frugality and prudent Management, and, in lower Life, of Labour and Industry, towards acquiring a competent Subfiftence; and though it be ordinarily incumbent on the Hufband to have the Direction of Affairs relating to this End; yet, as Circumftances fometimes require, that he should commit it to the Wife, fo every Neglect in this Cafe, every Extravagance, every unneceffary Expence, wherein his Concurrence is not implied, is at once a Breach of Truft, and a Violation of her Conjugal Love For Love will always confult the Inclination and Interest of thofe, who are the true Objects of it, and regulate itself accordingly.

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4. I mention but one Duty more, which is mutually incumbent upon them, viz. that they should promote the Spiritual Good and Edification of one another, by recommending each other to God's Grace and Protection in their Prayers, and by admonishing and inftructing each other in the Principles of Religion. The Bufinefs of Admonition and Inftruction, by the Superiority of his Sex, feems more especially to belong to the Man, but when it fo happens, (as it fometimes does) that the Woman is fuperior in all the Advantages of Knowledge and a good Understanding, and that the Man is either guilty of fuch Errors, or liable to fuch Dangers, as both deferve and require_Admonition, the Woman is indulged the Liberty of speaking in fuch a Cafe: But then fhe muft intreat, rather than dictate, and infinuate her Advice, rather than affume, on any Occafion indeed, but especially in the Prefence of others, fuch magifterial Airs, as are neither agreeable to the Character of her Sex, nor the Relation, wherein fhe stands, as are both a Breach

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