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ON FORTUNE TELLING AND PRETENSIONS TO SKILL IN ASTROLOGY.

A pretence of being acquainted with future events of person's lives, seems to have been a thing equally ancient and absurd. Common sense, one would imagine, must inform all the world, that the whole is an entire impossibility, and yet. we find people from the very earliest known ages have given credit to it; and what is more to be lamented, as well as more to be wondered at, is, that in these more enlightened times, the fallacy is so far from being banished out of the world, that it seems never to have been in greater repute than at present; and I believe it is pretty certain, that no one city at any period of time, ever supported so many conjurers at once, as there now flourish in London.

The dangerous trick of helping people to their stolen goods again, seems indeed a little out of use at present; whether it be that the owners of plate are too cunning to let the conjuror's emissaries lay hold of them, or that the fortune-tellers and pickpockets are less in league than formerly; for assuredly without verbal confession and a lucrative share in the secret, (thanks to the people in power), thievery is advanced as well as other sciences, to so high a pitch of perfection at present, that such proficients as ours, are much too cunning for such devils as our conjurors deal with. Though this branch of the business has decayed, however there are still subjects enough for the learned astrologer to practise his art upon. Young wenches will always want to be married, and young wives to be widows, and if but one tenth of either of these fall to the share of our whole set of conjuring doctors once a month, the profits will be more than sufficient to keep up the dignity of the function; to say nothing of the disbanded courtiers, who pay before-hand for ill luck of the people whose places they want; the young gentlemen, who would fain bribe madam Fortune to pull the pillow from under their father's head a little before her time; the sharers of private thicveries, under the authorised title of privateers; or the ten thousand fools, every one of whom the late lottery was to give ten thousand pound to.

The various ranks and degrees of these artists, from the çivil old gentlewoman who mends cracked china, or tells the secrets of old time with coffee-grounds, to the redoubted seventh son of the seventh son of Copernicus, who requires VOL. II.

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half a guinea to cast a nativity, are not easily reckoned; each however has its several province and several profits.

The civil old lady who leaves her washing-tub to tell my young lady Wishfort when Mr. Prettyman will go by the door next, is contented with the moderate pay of sixpence every other day; but if the aunt misses a silver spoon or can dlestick, it is ten to one but the cunning old devil can give a shrewd guess at which of the naughty servants has stole it.

The reverend gentleman who has, to save the trouble of long journeys, prudently taken his residence near the court, where he will be one day to hold up his hand; after giving coaches and six to a dozen milliner's apprentices in a morning, and promising to as many ladies, who, through the unnatural custom of country, are unhappy enough to have but one husband a piece, that they shall have some civil things said to them in the evening at the play after the third act, by a gentleman in green and gold; can eat his capon in peace, and after the fatigue of the day, lay by the great hat and long perriwig, and rise like Vertumnus out of the old woman into a blooming young fellow of five and twenty, and putting on the coat of pretension, pay his half crown, and his compli ments, where he has been promised beforehand, that they shall be well received.

The dumb lady, whose want of hearing or speaking, save her the trouble of a great many unnecessary questions, having been guilty of some little trips of late, is now determined to see no body but such as are introduced to her by some body she knows; and the world loves to cheat so well, that the good friend who introduces, usually qualifies the lady for giving a very satisfactory answer. This is a trifling advan tage, however, the great one is behind; the lady is slow at her business, as she has not the common organs of speaking, and is reduced to write; and if Mr. Hörner has notice that Mr. Dolittle's wife will have occasion to wait an hour at such a time, till the cunning woman is at leisure, it is some com> fort, that if he has a mind to an hour's innocent amusement with a fine woman, he is sure her husband cannot be introduced in the mean time, as he has no friend at court.

The profound literato of Exeter-street, who has long been known to the world, in the double capacity of doctor Eitherside, is not the last to be mentioned in a list like this. If the young squire applies to him for good fortune, he can always tell him of a tall fair lady with the presence of a duchess, who will be waiting for him at such an hour, at the corner of the piazza, to give him a dish of tea before her churlish uncle comes home; and he is sure of more than treble pay for this; the squire cannot but pay a double price for so much good

fortune; the lady shall not be told the place of rendezvous, if she will not come down handsomely too; and the doctor, in his other capacity, is ready for his five guineas, for curing the wounds such charms may have made in a tender heart.

Is it not amazing, upon the whole, that such a number of these, after such a multitude of these exploits, as each has been guilty of, should yet be able to flourish, and cheat the children of the fathers they had before been kicked or caned by; but London is fruitful in fools; there is a constant new succession of them, and if every one comes but once to the snare, the profits are fully sufficient.

My man of learning in St. Martin's-lane, is far above all these little artifices, however, he has studied the stars, and he can tell truth as he tells his patrons, and convinces them by his schemes and planetariums, and he will be paid in a proper manner for it; his sacred fingers can touch nothing less than the king of metals, but inspired by that he will at once calculate his pupil's nativity, and discover to him his whole science. Shall I confess that it cost me my half guinea to be made acquainted with the whole art of astrology from this gentleman; I purchased it, however, for your sake, gentle reader, and you shall have it much cheaper. The Sun is patron of the head, he says, the Moon commands the brain, Jupiter thunders in the liver, gentle Venus guides the reins, Mars influences the clenched fist, and sullen Saturn sleeps upon the milt, while light feigned Mercury plays upon the lungs, and squeezes our bagpipes to what notes he pleases.

Nor are signs and constellations less interested in the behalf of humble man; Aries expands the soul of the child born under him to extravagance and profusion. Taurus inspires the infant with the thunder of an English admiral, or the hard fist of a Broughton's champion; under Gemini we are born to wantonness and incontinency; under Cancer to inconstancy Leo sets us all our lives a quarrelling; Virgo preserves our virginity to three-score, if we live so long; and the intended taylor or lawyer, if born under Libra, must be honest; Scorpio urges us to treason; not a Scotchman was cut up last year but carried the marks of this sign on his forehead; Sagittary gives us pride, Capricorn courage, Aquarius sobriety, and if we are unhappy enough to be born under Piscis, we must be hanged for the highway, though our father were a bishop.

Handel and the late Caporale, he is ready to take his oath, were born under Orphius's, old Fag under Orion, and flutter ing J*** when Mercury and Saturn were in opposition. It is true the sign Virgo is as like a fine lady as an apple pasty, and I fancy she might have had as much influence in our chas

tity if she had been drawn in that shape as in the other; and that Libra could have as much influenced our honesty, had it been drawn in the shape of a wind-mill; and it is certain from their shapes in the heavens, that Aries and Taurus might as well have been drawn in the shape of a crocodile or a rhinoceros; but, however, so they are figured, and so we are in, fluenced according to this gentleman's doctrine the world is wholly guided by the power of these forms, and we are mere puppets, which only speak or caper as the stars behind the curtain directs us.

Could one imagine that folly like this could gain the least ground in a civilized nation? but we see, alas,that it ever has been so in all countries, and astrologers have ever been consulted by sovereign princes, though scarce an age passed without the detection of a thousand of these follies and rogueries.

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In the empire of China there is a whole society of conjurers of this kind, and they have a sort of patent for monopo lizing all the trade with the stars to themselves, no body but one of their body daring even to toss a cup of tea-grounds ; and the emperor never undertakes any thing of consequence without the approbation of the stars by the mouths of these their ambassadors. Most of the Asiatic nations are extremely bigotted to this delusion; and in Europe, Italy, abounds with them. The inquisition itself cannot drive them out of Portugal; and in France, in the time of Catha rine de Medicis, they were more numerous than they are at present in England; the ladies had no will but that of the Stars, and if they doomed them to frailties, it was no crime not to resist irrevocable doom. Louis XI. had the greatest faith of all men in these deceivers; and one of his favourite mistresses dying, he was perfectly convinced that her death. was owing to one of these astrologers, who had a pique against her, bribing some of the stars in his behalf; he told his council the crime of the astrologer, and sent for him into a room where they were, which overlooked a deep descent into the gardens, determined to throw him out of the window. The starry prophet appearing before him, the king asked him, where and in what manner himself should die. The conjurer, tho' he did not see the bottom of the king's design, saw enough however to be upon his guard against danger, and answered, "Dread Sovereign, I have calcu"lated my nativity, and find that I shall die three days be "fore your Majesty." The answer saved the conjuror's life, in spite of the king's vengeance; but it has fared worse with many of them on the like trials; and could the world be

warned by example what has happened on repeated occa sions of this kind is enough to cure them of all belief in such imposture.

William Duke of Mantua, opened the eyes of a certain sovereign Prince in his time, who was very credulous with regard to fortune-tellers, by ordering the time of a mare's colting that was kept in his stables, to be carefully observed, and sending an account immediately to the astrologer of Italy, that at such an hour and minute a certain bastard was. born in his palace, whose nativity he desired them to calculate, which they accordingly did; and taking it for granted, that the bastard, by his care about it, was of his own getting; one declared, that in his twenty fourth year he would be made a great general; another declared he would be a bishop; a third gave him a cardinal's hat; and a fourth, willing to excel what all the rest had done, told him, that he should have the triple crown.

Leopold III. was one day boldly warned by one of his astrologers to prepare for death, for on the third day following, he should die; but wiser than to give credit to the prophecy, he asked the conjuror, if he could tell how and when he should die himself? To which he answered, that he well knew he should die of a fever. The prince replied, Well, four days hence, the world will see how good a prophet you are in regard to me, but I'll immediately shew you, you are a very bad one in regard to yourself, for you shall be hanged this minute. The rope was prepared, and the executioner called, when the miserable fellow, entreating the king to feel his pulse, convinced him that the fright had brought on the fever, in which he had foretold he should die: The prince pardoned him for the humour of the excuse, but the prophecy was badly verified, for the prince lived afterwards to see the conjurer drowned as he was crossing a lake in a small boat.

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But the accident, which of all others, has set astrology in the most ridiculous light, is, that memorable one of Louis XI. of France, so famed for his belief in these people. This prince was so infatuated with the opinion of these people's skill, that he could never go out without one of them with him, that he might have him to consult on occasion. cured him for ever of his fondness for them, was this; getting up one day very early, and seeing the sky perfectly clear, he consulted his conjurer about the weather, who telling it would be a very fine day, he ordered his hounds and horses, and set out to hunting: On the way to the chace, he met a peasant of a neighbouring town driving his ass loaded with cabbages to market. The king had the curiosity to

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