Between my father and my mother lay,
(As I have heard my father speak himself,)
When this same lusty gentleman was got.
Upon his death-bed he by will bequeathed
His lands to me; and took it, on his death,
That this, my mother's son, was none of his;
And, if he were, he came into the world
Full fourteen weeks before the course of time.
Then, good my liege, let me have what is mine,
My father's land, as was my father's will.

K. John. Sirrah, your brother is legitimate;
Your father's wife did after wedlock bear him:
And, if she did play false, the fault was hers;
Which fault lies on the hazards of all husbands
That marry wives. Tell me, how if my brother,
Who, as you say, took pains to get this son,
Had of your father claimed this son for his?
In sooth, good friend, your father might have kept
This calf, bred from his cow, from all the world.
In sooth, he might; then, if he were my brother's,
My brother might not claim him; nor your father,
Being none of his, refuse him. This concludes,'-
My mother's son did get your father's heir;
Your father's heir must have your father's land.
Rob. Shall then my father's will be of no force,
To dispossess that child which is not his?

Bast. Of no more force to dispossess me, sir,

Than was his will to get me, as I think.

Eli. Whether hadst thou rather, be a Faulcon

bridge,

And like thy brother, to enjoy thy land;

Or the reputed son of Coeur-de-lion,

Lord of thy presence, and no land beside?

Bast. Madam, an if my brother had my shape,

And I had his, sir Robert his,3 like him;

1 i. e. "this is a decisive argument."

2 Lord of thy presence means possessor of thy own dignified and manly appearance, resembling thy great progenitor.

3 Sir Robert his, for "Sir Robert's;" his, according to a mistaken notion formerly received, being the sign of the genitive case.

And if my legs were too such riding-rods ;

My arms such eel-skins stuffed; my face so thin,
That in mine ear I durst not stick a rose,

Lest men should say, Look, where three-farthings' goes!

And, to his shape, were heir to all this land, 'Would, I might never stir from off this place, I'd give it every foot to have this face;

I would not be sir Nob3 in any case.

Eli. I like thee well. Wilt thou forsake thy fortune,

Bequeath thy land to him, and follow me?

I am a soldier, and now bound to France.

Bast. Brother, take you my land; I'll take my chance.

Your face hath got five hundred pounds a year;
Yet sell your face for five pence, and 'tis dear.—
Madam, I'll follow you unto the death.

Eli. Nay, I would have you go before me thither.
Bast. Our country manners give our betters way.
K. John. What is thy name?

Bast. Philip, my liege; so is my name begun; Philip, good old sir Robert's wife's eldest son.

K. John. From henceforth bear his name whose form thou bear'st.

Kneel thou down, Philip, but arise more great :

Arise, sir Richard, and Plantagenet.5

Bast. Brother, by the mother's side, give me your

hand;

My father gave me honor, yours gave land.

1 Queen Elizabeth coined threepenny, threehalfpenny, and threefarthing pieces; these pieces all had her head on the obverse, and some of them a rose on the reverse. Being of silver, they were extremely thin; and hence the allusion. The roses stuck in the ear, or in a lock near it, were generally of riband; but Burton says that it was once the fashion to stick real flowers in the ear. Some gallants had their ears bored, and wore their mistresses' silken shoestrings in them.

2 To his shape, i. e. in addition to it.

4 The old copy reads rise.

3 Robert.

5 Plantagenet was not a family name, but a nickname, by which a grandson of Geoffrey, the first earl of Anjou, was distinguished, from his wearing a broomstalk in his bonnet.

Now blessed be the hour by night or day,
When I was got, sir Robert was away.

Eli. The very spirit of Plantagenet!-
I am thy grandame, Richard; call me so.
Bast. Madam, by chance, but not by truth.
though?

Something about, a little from the right,

1

In at the window, or else o'er the hatch: ' Who dares not stir by day, must walk by night;

And have is have, however men do catch.

Near or far off, well won is still well shot;

And I am I, howe'er I was begot.

What

K. John. Go, Faulconbridge; now hast thou thy desire;

A landless knight makes thee a landed squire.Come, madam, and come, Richard; we must speed For France, for France; for it is more than need. Bast. Brother, adieu. Good fortune come to thee! For thou wast got i' the way of honesty.

[Exeunt all but the Bastard. A foot of honor better than I was;

But many a many foot of land the worse.
Well, now can I make any Joan a lady.

Good den, sir Richard,-God-a-mercy, fellow ;-
And if his name be George, I'll call him Peter:
For new-made honor doth forget men's names;
'Tis too respective,3 and too sociable,

For your conversion. Now your traveller,—
He and his toothpick at my worship's mess;

6

1 These expressions were common in the time of Shakspeare for being born out of wedlock.

2 Good evening.

3 Respective does not here mean respectful, as the commentators have explained it, but considerative, regardful.

4 Change of condition.

5 It is said, in All's Well that Ends Well, that "a traveller is a good thing after dinner." In that age of newly-excited curiosity, one of the entertainments at great tables seems to have been the discourse of a traveller. To use a toothpick seems to have been one of the characteristics of a travelled man who affected foreign fashions.

6 "At my worship's mess" means at that part of the table where I, as a knight, shall be placed." Your worship" was the regular address to a knight or esquire, in Shakspeare's time, as "your honor" was to a lord.

And when my knightly stomach is sufficed,
Why then I suck my teeth, and catechize
My picked man of countries'-My dear sir,
(Thus, leaning on my elbow, I begin,)
I shall beseech you-That is question now;
And then comes answer like an A B C-book.-2
O, sir, says answer, at your best command;
At your employment; at your service, sir.-
No, sir, says question, I, sweet sir, at yours;
And, so, ere answer knows what question would,
(Saving in dialogue of compliment;
And talking of the Alps, and Apennines,
The Pyrenean, and the river Po,)

It draws towards supper in conclusion so.
But this is worshipful society,

And fits the mounting spirit, like myself.
For he is but a bastard to the time,
That doth not smack of observation; 3
(And so am I, whether I smack, or no ;)
And not alone in habit and device,
Exterior form, outward accoutrement;
But from the inward motion to deliver
Sweet, sweet, sweet poison for the age's tooth:
Which, though I will not practise to deceive,
Yet, to avoid deceit, I mean to learn;
For it shall strew the footsteps of my rising.-
But who comes in such haste, in riding robes?
What woman-post is this? Hath she no husband,
That will take pains to blow a horn before her?

Enter LADY FAULCONBRIDGE and JAMES GURNEY. O me! it is my mother.-How now, good lady? What brings you here to court so hastily?

1 My picked man of countries may be equivalent to my travelled fop: picked generally signified affected, overnice, or curious in dress.

2 An ABC or absey-book, as it was then called, is a catechism.

3 i. e. he is accounted but a mean man, in the present age, who does not show by his dress, deportment, and talk, that he has travelled and made observations in foreign countries.

Lady F. Where is that slave, thy brother? Where

is he,

That holds in chase mine honor up and down?

Bast. My brother Robert? old sir Robert's son ? Colbrand the giant,' that same mighty man? Is it sir Robert's son, that you seek so?

Lady F. Sir Robert's son! ay, thou unreverend boy,

Sir Robert's son! Why scorn'st thou at sir Robert? He is sir Robert's son; and so art thou.

Bast. James Gurney, wilt thou give us leave awhile?

Gur. Good leave, good Philip.

Bast.

Philip?-sparrow ! 2—James, There's toys abroad;3 anon I'll tell thee more.

[Exit GURNEY.

Madam, I was not old sir Robert's son;
Sir Robert might have eat his part in me
Upon Good Friday, and ne'er broke his fast.
Sir Robert could do well; marry, (to confess!)
Could he get me? Sir Robert could not do it;
We know his handy-work.-Therefore, good mother,
To whom am I beholden for these limbs?

Sir Robert never holp to make this leg.

Lady F. Hast thou conspired with thy brother too, That for thine own gain shouldst defend mine honor?

What means this scorn, thou most untoward knave?

Bast. Knight, knight, good mother,―Basilisco-like.1

1 Colbrand was a Danish giant, whom Guy of Warwick discomfited in the presence of king Athelstan. The History of Guy was a popular book in the Poet's age. Drayton has described the combat very pompously in his Polyolbion.

2 The Bastard means " Philip! Do you take me for a sparrow?" The sparrow was called Philip from its note, which was supposed to have some resemblance to that word, "phip phip the sparrows as they fly."-Lyly's Mother Bombie.

3 i. e. rumors, idle reports.

4 This is a piece of satire on the stupid, old drama of Soliman and Perseda, printed in 1599, which had probably become the butt for stage sarcasm. In this piece there is a bragging, cowardly knight called Basilisco. His pretension to valor is so blown and seen through, that Piston, a buffoon servant in the play, jumps upon his back, and will not disengage him till