FOND woman, which would'st have thy husband die,
And yet complain'st of his great jealousy!
If swoln with poison he lay in his last bed,
His body with a sere-bark 2 covered,
Drawing his breath as thick and short as can
The nimblest crotcheting musician,
Ready with loathsome vomiting to spew
His soul out of one hell into a new,
Made deaf with his poor kindred's howling cries,
Begging with few feigned tears great legacies,
Thou would'st not weep, but jolly and frolic be
As a slave which to-morrow should be free;
Yet weep'st thou, when thou seest him hungerly
Swallow his own death, heart's-bane jealousy.
Oh give him many thanks, he is courteous,
That in suspecting kindly warneth us.
1 These elegies have no titles in the editions of 1633 and 1669,
being simply numbered. 2 sere-cloth, 1669.
We must not, as we used, flout openly,
In scoffing riddles, his deformity;
Nor, at his board together being sat,
With words, nor touch, scarce looks, adulterate,
Nor, when he, swoln and pampered with great1 fare
Sits down and snorts, caged in his basket-chair,
Must we usurp his own bed any more,
Nor kiss and play in his house, as before.
Now I see many dangers; for it is
His realm, his castle, and his diocese.
But if (as envious men which would revile
Their Prince, or coin his gold, themselves exile
Into another country and do it there)
We play in another house, what should we fear?
There we will scorn his household policies,
His silly plots, and pensionary spies,
As the inhabitants of Thames' right side
Do London's Mayor, or Germans the Pope's pride.
MARRY, and love thy Flavia, for she
Hath all things whereby others beauteous be;
For though her eyes be small, her mouth is great;
Though they be ivory, yet her teeth be jet;
1 high, 1669. 2 Now do I see my danger, ibid. 3 another's, ibid. 4 theirs, ibid.
Though they be dim, yet she is light enough,
And though her harsh hair fall,1 her skin is rough ; 2
What though her cheeks be yellow, her hair 's red;
Give her thine, and she hath a maidenhead.
These things are beauty's elements; where these
Meet in one, that one must, as perfect, please.
If red and white and each good quality
Be in thy wench, ne'er ask where it doth lie;
In buying things perfumed, we ask if there
Be musk and amber in it, but not where.
Though all her parts be not in th' usual place,
She hath yet an anagram of a good face,
3
If we might put the letters but one way,
In the lean dearth of words, what could we say?
When by the gamut some musicians make
A perfect song, others will undertake,
By the same gamut changed, to equal it.
Things simply good can never be unfit;
She's fair as any, if all be like her;
And if none be, then she is singular.
All love is wonder; if we justly do
Account her wonderful, why not lovely too?
Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies;
Choose this face, changed by no deformities.
Women are all like angels: the fair be
Like those which fell to worse; but such as she,
Like to good angels, nothing can impair.
'Tis less grief to be foul, than to have been fair.
1 harsh hair's foul, 1669. 2 tough, 1635, '39, '49, '54.
3 the anagrams, 1669. 4 that.
For one night's revels silk and gold we choose,
But in long journeys cloth and leather use.
Beauty is barren oft; best husbands say
There is best land where there is foulest way.
Oh what a sovereign plaster will she be,
If thy past sins have taught thee jealousy!
Here needs no spies nor eunuchs; her commit
Safe to thy foes, yea, to a marmosit.
When Belgia's cities the round countries drown,1
That dirty foulness guards and arms the town; 2
So doth her face guard her; and so for thee,
Which, forced by business, absent oft must be,
She, whose face, like clouds, turns the day to night,
Who, mightier than the sea, makes Moors seem white,
Who, though seven years she in the stews had laid,
A nunnery durst receive and think a maid,
And, though in childbed's labour she did lie,
Midwives would swear 't were but a tympany,
Whom, if she accuse herself, I credit less
Than witches which impossibles confess.1
One like none, and liked of none, fittest were,
For things in fashion every man will wear.
1 Like Belgia's cities when the country is drowned, 1669. 2 towns, ibid. 3 childbirth's, ibid. 4 After "confess" the following lines occur in the edition of 1669, but not in the other editions:
Whom dildoes, bedstaves, or a velvet glass
Would be as loath to touch as Joseph was.
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