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* Figure too as Times go : But the Misfortune is, that four ' of the five are professed Followers of the Mode. They 'would face me down, that all Women of good Sense
ever were, and ever will be, Latitudinarians in Wedlock; and always did, and will, give and take what they profanely term Conjugal Liberty of Conscience.
THE two first of them, a Captain and a Merchant, • to strengthen their Argument, pretend to repeat after a • Couple, a Brace of Ladies of Quality and Wit, That Ves
nus was always kind to Mars; and what Soul that has • the least Spark of Generofity, can deny a Man of Bravery • any Thing? And how pitiful a Trader that whom no • Woman but his own Wife will have Correspondence • and Dealings with : Thus thefe ; whilft the third, the « Country Squire, confeffed, That indeed he was furprised • into good-breeding, and entered into the Knowledge of • the World unawares. That dining t'other Day at a Gen• tleman's Houfe, the Person who entertained was obliged • to leave him with his wife and Nieces ; where they < fpoke with fo much Contempt of an abfent Gentleman • for being flow at a Hint, that he refolved never to • be drousy, unmannerly, or ftupid for the future at a « Friend's House ; and on a hunting Morning, not to pur« sue the Game either with the Husband abroad, or with
the Wife at home.
• The next that came was a Tradesman, no lefs full a of the Age than the former ; for he had the Galantry • to tell me, that at a late Junket which he was invited * to, the Motion being made, and the Question being * put, 'twas by Maid, Wife and Widow resolved, nemine « contradicente, That a young sprightly Journeyman is ab« folutely necessary in their way of Bufinefs : To which
they had the Affent and Concurrence of the Husbands • present. I dropped him a Curtfy, and gave him to a understand that was his Audience of Leave.
“I am reckoned pretty, and have had very many Ad. • vances besides these ; but have been very averse to hear • any of them, from my Obfervation on these above-inen« tioned, 'till I hoped fome Good from the Character of & my present admirer, a Clergyman. But I find even 6 amongit them there are indirect Practices in relation to Love, and our Treaty is at present a little in Sufpence, till
• fome Circumstances are cleared. There is a Charge • against him among the Women, and the Case is this: It • is alledged, That a certain endowed Female would have • appropriated herself to and consolidated herself with a • Church, which my Divine now enjoys ; (or, which is • the same thing, did prostitute herself to her Friend's • doing this for her :) That my Ecclesiastick, to obtain • the one, did engage himself to take off the other that • lay on Hand; but that on his Success in the Spiritual, • he again renounced the Carnal.
• I put this closely to him, and taxed him with Disin
genuity. He to clear himself made the subsequent De• fence, and that in the most folemn manner possible. • That he was applied to and instigated to accept of a Be. -nefice : That a conditionat Offer thereof was indeed • made him at first, but with Disdain by him rejected : . That when nothing (as they easily perceived) of this • nature could bring him to their Purpole, Assurance of his • being intirely unengaged beforehand, and safe from * all their After-expectations (the only Stratagem left to • draw him in). was given him: That pursuant to this • the Donation it self was without Delay, before several
reputable Witnesses, cendered to him gratis, with the " open Profeffion of not the least Referve, or most mia • nute Condition ; but that yet immediately after Induc• tion, his insidious Introducer (or her crafty Procurer, • which you will) industriously spread the Report which * had reached my Ears, not only in the Neighbourhood • of that said Church, but in London, in the University, in • mine and his own Country, and wherever else it might o probably obviate his Application to any other Woman, « and so confine him to this alone: And in a word, That * as he never did make any previous Offer of his Service, S or the least Step to her Affection ; so on his Discovery • of these Designs thus laid to trick him, he could not but • afterwards, in Justice to himself, vindicate both his In• nocence and Freedom by keeeping his proper Distance.
" THIS is his Apology, and I think I fall be satisfied ' with it. But I cannot conclude my tedious Epistle, with' out recommending to you not only to resume your for « mer Chastisement, but to add to your Criminals the Simoniacal Ladies, who seduce the facred Order into the
Difficulty of either breaking a mercenary Troth made to • them whom they ought not to deceive, or by breaking ' or keeping it offending against him whom they cannot • deceive. Your Assistance and Labours of this sort would • be of great Benefit, and your speedy Thoughts on this Subject would be very seasonable to, SIR, Your most obedient Servant,
Malo Venufinam, quàm te, Cornelia, Mater
TT is observed, that a Man improves more by reading
the Story of a Person eminent for Prudence and Vir
tue, than by the finest Rules and Precepts of Morality. In the same manner a Representation of those Calamities and Misfortunes which a weak Man suffers from wrong Measures, and ill-concerted Schemes of Life, is apt to make a deeper Impression upon our Minds, than the wisest Maxims and Instructions that can be given us, for avoiding the like Follies and Indiscretions in our own private Conduct. It is for this Reason that I lay before my Reader the following Letter, and leave it with him to make his own use of it, without adding any Reflexions of my own upon the Subject Matter. · Mr. SPECTATOR, · L AVING carefully perused a Letter sent you by • Fofiah Fribble, Esq; with your subsequent Dis• course upon Pin-money, I do presume to trouble you with an Account of my own Cafe, which I look upon to be no less deplorable than that of Squire Fribble. I am a Person of no Extraction, having begun the World ' with a small parcel of Rusty Iron, and was for some • Years commonly known by the Name of Jack Anvil. * I have naturally a very happy Genius for getting Money, insomuch that by the Age of five and twenty
I had scraped together four thousand two hundred · Pounds, five Shillings and a few odd Pence. I then ' lanched out into considerable Business, and became a
bold Trader both by Sea and Land, which in a few • Years raised me a very considerable Fortune. For these · my good Services I was knighted in the thirty fifth • Year of my Age, and lived with great Dignity among 'my City Neighbours by the Name of Sir John Anvil. · Being in my Temper very ambitious, I was now
bent upon making a Family, and accordingly resolved • that my Descendents should have a Dash of good Blood • in their Veins. In order to this I made love to the • Lady Mary Oddly, an indigent young Woman of ' Quality. To cut short the Marriage Treaty, I threw : her a Charte Blanche, as our News Papers call it, de
firing her to write upon it her own Terms. She was . very concife in her Demands, insisting only that the · Disposal of my Fortune, and the Regulation of my Fa. mily should be intirely in her Hands. Her Father and Brothers appeared exceedingly averse to this Match, and would not see me for some time ; but at present are
so well reconciled, that they dine with me almost every ' Day, and have borrowed confiderable Sums of me;
which my Lady Mary very often twits me with, when • The would shew me how kind her Relations are to me. • She had no Portion, as I told you before, but what she
wanted in Fortune, she makes up in Spirit. She at first * changed my Name to Sir John Envil, and at present
writes herself Mary Enville. I have had some Children by her, whom she has chriftened with the Sirnames of her Family, in order as she tells me, to wear out the
Homeliness of their Parentage by the Father's Side. Our . eldest Son is the Honourable Oddly Enville, Esg; and our • eldest Daughter Harriot Enville. Upon her first coming • into my Family, she turned off a parcel of very careful ' Servants, who had been long with me, and introduced ' in their stead a couple of Black-a-moors, and three or * four very genteel Fellows in laced Liveries, besides her
! Frenchwoman, who is perpetually making a noise in
the House in a Language which no body understands, except my Lady Mary. She next set herfelf to reform
every Room of my House, having glazed all my Chim' ney-pieces with Looking-glass, and planted every Cor'ner with such Heaps of China, that I am obliged to ' move about my own House with the greatest Caution ‘and Circumspection, for fear of hurting some of our • brittle Furniture. She makes an Illumination once a • Week with Wax-candles in one of the largest Rooms, ' in order, as she phrases it, to fee Company. At which
time she always desires me to be Abroad, or to confine • my self to the Cock-loft, that I may not disgrace her * among her Visitants of Quality. Her Footmen, as I • told you before, are such Beaus that I do not much care
for asking them Questions ; when I do, they answer ' me with a faucy Frown, and fay that every thing
which I find fault with, was done by my Lady Mary's
Order. She tells me that she intends they shall wear • Swords with their next Liveries, having lately observed ! the Footmen of two or three Persons of Quality hang! ing behind the Coach with Swords by their Sides. As
soon as the first Honey-moon was over, I represented to her the Unreasonableness of those daily Innovations which she made in my Family, but she told me I was ' no longer to consider my self as Sir John Anvil, but as
her Husband; and added with a Frown, that I did • not seem to know who she was. I was surprised to be
treated thus, after such Familiarities as had passed be
tween us. But she has since given me to know, that ' whatever Freedoms she may sometimes indulge me in, • The expects in general to be treated with the Respect
that is due to her Birth and Quality. Our Children • have been trained up from their Infancy with so many • Accounts of their Mother's Family, that they know ' the Stories of all the great Men and Women it has pro• duced. Their Mother tells them, that such an one com• manded in such a Sea Engagement, that their Great * Grandfather had a Horse thot under him at Edge-hill,
that their Uncle was at the Siege of Buda, and that her Mother danced in a Ball at Court with the Duke of Monmouth; with abundance of Fiddle-faddle of the