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No. XXVI. SATURDAY, AUGUST 6.
my generosity would sufficiently coun
terbalance ; and as for iny disorders, I heads whose passions out-live the abated; and that, under a proper regipower of indulgence, and are perpetually men, my gout might be rendered less areaming of a inarriage-bed, instead of troublesome, and the rheum of my eyes thinking seriously about the purchafe of totally removed. I sent for an empiric to a winding-Meet. I am turned of sixty- make me a handsome set of teeth; exfive, worn away to a skeleton by a va. changed my venerable tye for a smart riety of diseases, the confequence of my fashionable bob, affected to read with. youthful indiscretion; and am almost lix out fpectacles, and threw by my crutchmonths married to an amiable unhappy headed stick. woman juft bordering on twenty-two. Not to trouble you, Sir, Mr. Grafply,
Being last Eaiter, Sir, at my son's in Maria's father, the moment I proposed the country, I accidentally faw a young a jointure, was in a transpori; a prolady who was inuinarely acquainted mile of providing for his other children with my grand-daughter Sally; and threw him into an extasy, and the rewhom, on enquiry, I found to be the version of a good living on my own daughter of a curate lately settled in estate, rendered him incapable of speak. those parts, who had nothing to main ing a single word. Maria, after a thou. tain a wife and four children but a fand entreaties, and as inany foods of Nender forty pounds a year. Maria, tears, nor to be facrificed, as the called the young lady's name in question, was it, and a vain attempt of escaping to the eldeit, and had no other fortune than her dear Mr. Maikham, was dragged a molt engaging person, an irresistible to church in three days after, and cante face, a good heart, and a fine under- home Mis. Totterly. ftanding. These, however, had pro- Having thus fortunately secured her cired her the addresles of one Mr. for my wife, I thought my felicity alMarkham, a very worthy young tel- molt compleated, and that the moment low in the neighbourhood, who had her cars were a litde dried up, I fhould newly set up in the grocery trade, with be the happieft of men, But, alas! Mr. a capital of 3000l. and who, by her fa- Buhler, I found a great difference be. ther's permillion, and the content of his twixt the postellion of an unwilling own friends, was to be married to her hand, and the enjoyment of a warm reon the Sunday forinight following. ciprocally beating heart: it required but
There was a something so engaging fmall penetration to discover that I wis about Maria, Mr. Babler, as itrangely the object of her unalterable avertion, affected me, and malle me at once looth and that the violence I had done to her tery uneasy and very much ashame!. All rent inclinations would plant perpetual thoughts of an intercourse with the fex, at thorns on her pillow, and fix everlasting ny time of life, I was lengible should have anxiety on mine. totally fubfirledd; yet, notwithstanding á I will not trouble you, Mr. Balter, conviêion of that nature, I was determin. with a repetition of particular cincum. ed, if there was a posibility of my luc- ítances; viifice it, that notwithstanding creling, to have lier. In vain my fon I have used every method I could pola pointed out the ridicule I should incur by fihly devise to excite bei gratitude, oren. to difproportioned a match; in vain did gage her esteem, in the calment of her my daughter, nay, my grand-daughter moments, she looks upon me with a tvo, endeavour to laugh me out of fo rooted hatred, or a contemptuous dit preposterous a defign; and, in vain did guit. l in vain tempt her with equin my own reflection dwell upon the Atik- page and dress : if the carriage is ordering disparity of years, and the greatore!
sed to the door, fhe has the head-ach; of my infirmities. My authority lie and if I orwer home a fresh piece of hilk, Tented the remonftrances of my children, it is throw neglected on the floor. andliny vnity turned a deaf ear to the Instead of mixing with society, the huts felf convicted poignancy of my own. herfelf up the principal part of the day The circumftance of years, I thought, in ber clofer; and if I chance by acci
dent to break in, I surprize her in tears. tress, to be despised by the woman ! If my infirmities oblige me to the use of doat upon to madness, and to be a real a leparate bed, I am unealy at being object of contempt to myself, is too from her; and yet I am miserable by the much! To be loaded with years, and horror the exprelles in her looks, if they fo borne down with infirmities as to do not: if the chances to doze, the hea stand one continued mummy of ema. viness of her lighs distract me to the last ciation, one complicated hoard of dif. degree; and if the mentions the word ease, is a dreadful reflection for a new Markham in her dreams, as the fre- married man!ma man totally incapable quently does, it is a scorpion of the most of inspiring a passion of the leak tender deadly nature, and stings me to the heart. nature, and as totally incapable of gr&
Upon the whole, Mr. Babler, alleep, tifying it, if he could! or awake, at bed, or at board, I am the From my story let other old dotards molt miferable of men; and what, like beware of following my example; for a ridiculous dotard, I fancied would be assured, Mr. Babler, wherever there prove the greatest blessing of my life, by is a striking disparity of years, and the a juft difpenfation of Providence, turns odds againit the man, a very little time out my unalterable curse. O Sir! to a willconvince him of his error; and make man not altogether destitute of sensibi- him wild, with me, that he had sent for lity, what lituation can be fo truly an undertaker, and been buried fifty fawretched as mine? Without a friend to thom quick before he made so preposte, whom I can yent my griefs, without a rous a choice of a wife. I am, Sir, &c. bofoin which I dare beg to pity my dil
No XXVII. SATURDAY, AUGUST 13. SUPPED last night at my fifter he was obliged to call three or four times upon the education of children, my fa- and if he ever entered into a narrative vourite Harry related a little story, with of any transaction which occurred in his which I was prodigiously affected; and youth, his obliging daughter-in-law im, as it conveys a very pretty moral, i mall mediately broke in upon him, and pomake no apology for presentir.g it to my litely introduced a conversation upon readers,
something else. This unpardonable “ A worthy old gentleman, who had contempt was at last carried to such a by an inficxible induttry acquired a degree, that his cough was complained large fortune, with great reputation, at of as troublesome; and under a pretence length declining business, devoted his that his tobacco-box was insupportable, fole attention to the fertlement of an he was sequested to eat in his own room. only son, of whom he was uncommon- “ Four or five years passed on in this ly fond. In a little time he married manner, which were rendered a little to. bim to a woman of family, and judging lerable by the birth of a grandion, a of the fon's affertion by his own, made inot engaging boy, who, from the mo. over every Milling he was worth to the ment he was capable of diftinguishing, young gentleman, deliring nothing more seemed to be very fond of the old gen, than to be a witness of his happiness in tleman; and, by an almost instinctive ate the same house, and depending upon his tachment, appeared as if providentially gratitude for any curtory trifle he might deligned to atone for the unpatural in want for the private use of his purle. gratitude of it's father. He was now The son had not been married however turned of four; when one day fome per, above six weeks, before he was under fons of fashion dining at the house, the the fole dominion of his wife, and prem old gentleman, who knew nothing, of vailed upon to treat the old gentleman the company, caine down into the back, with the most mortifying neglect. If parlour 1o enquire for his little favouhe wanted the carriage for an airing, rite, who had been two whole hours out why, truly My Lady has engaged of his apartment; be had so fooner
it. If he desired to mix in any little opened the door, than his dutiful fon, party of pleasure, They were quite fuli, before a room full of people, asked him He was luffered to fit whole evenings how he dare break in upon him with without being once spoken to; at table out leave, and desired him to get in
ftantly up about his bufiness. The old we must almost imagine, that the genera. gentleman withdrew, according to order, lity of parents inculcate principles of returned to his own room, and gave a religion and virtue into their offspring, very hearty freedom to bis tears. for the mere satisfaction of bringing
• Little Tommy, who could not bear both religion and virtue into contempt ; to hear his grand-papa chided at such a and paint the precepts of morality in rate, followed him instantly; and obterv. the most engaging colours, to Thew, by ing how heartily he folbed, came roar., their practice, how much these precepts ing down to the parlour, and before the are to be despisedi. whole company bawled out-Papa has My friend, Ned Headıtrong, is a pa. • made poor grand-papa break his hearts rent of this calt; he is conrmually preache • he will cry his eyes out above stairs." ing up a rectitude of conduct to a very The fon, who was realiy ashamed of his fentible young fellow luis fon; and yet conduct, especially as he saw no sign of as continually destroying, by his examapprobation in the faces of his friends, ple, what he labours to ettect by his ad endeavoured to put an easy appearance vice. Ned expatiates largely about paon the affair, and brazen it out; turning tience under the dispensations of Provia round, therefore, to the child, he desired dence, and yet will fiy into a passion of him to carry a blanket to grand-papa, the most ungovernable nature, if a leg and bid him go beg. • Ay, but I will of mutton is boiled a minute too much. • not give him all the blanket,' returned I have heard him launch forth in the the child. Why so, my dear?' says praise of fortitude, while he has not the father. • Because,' answered he, been able to overcome the chagrin ocó • I fall want half for you, when I cafioned by spilling a drop of port upon
grow up to be a man, and turn you the table-cloth; and very frequently litt
out of doors.' The child's reproof- ened to a lecture againit a profligate Itung the father to the soul, and held up mention of the Divine name, interfperled at once both the cruelty and ingratitude with a variety of horrid execrations, of his conduct in their prop«r dyes: The fame prepofterous inconfiftency nay, the wife freinecl affected, and wanted in the education of an only daughter is words. A good-natured tear dropped a distinguishing peculiarity of Lady Dye froin more than one of the company, Dawdle. Her ladyfhip is no great gai. who seized this opportunity of condemn- about, for the lies in bed all the day, ing, in a very candid manner, their be. and plays at cards all night; she cannot haviour to fo affe&tionate a father, and be accused of nisbehaviour in church, so 'bountiful a friend ; and, in thort, - for I do not fuppóle she has been ance made them fo heartily ashamed of them. at a place of public worfhip these twenty felves, that the old gentleman was im. years. A tradesman can never call mediately sent for by both, who, in the twice at her house for a bill; for there is presence of all, molt humbly en treated not one, who has the least acquaintance, his forgiveness for every thing past, and with her character, that would trust her promised the business of their lives with a yard of ribband, or a row of pinsa. would be to oblige him for the future. ·. Her reputation has never been fuspected The poor old gentleman's joy threatened for there is not a man in England who now to be much more faral than his af. would think it worth his while to accept fli&tion a little before he looked upon of the highest favour the could possibly his son and Jaughter for some time with grant ; ard as for her veracity, that can ainule altopigment, mixed with a ten- by no means adinit of a debate, for it is derness imposible to be described ; and a question with me if the spoke a syllable then, fixing his eyes upon the company of truth Gince her arrival at maturity. with a wildness of inconceivable -rap: Yet, notwithftanding all these negative ture, matched up his little Tommy to perfections, she is continually pre crib his bolom, who joined him in a hearty ing a contrary practice to ber daughter, fizoil of tears."
and perpetually cundemning the young There is othing, in reality, where Jady for the lealt mitation of what the perple are lo very wrong, as the educae is unceasingly practiớng herself. iion of children, though there is nothing I hall conclude this paper with a hit in which they ought to be more ablo.. of advice addressed to every order of my lütely certain of being right. If we fë- readers. If a parent in reality wonld z roully reflect upon the cultomary me. have his for a good iad, let him tea. h
vil in which children are brought uj, by his practice, as much as by his pre
precept; and never, through a doating of this paper, conlider that it is no dir. partiality, overlook those actions in a grace for a lon to be dependent on a fachild which he would inevitably con. ther's bounty, but that nothing can be demn in any body elfe. Finally, let more dangerous than for a father to be all parents, from she introductory part dependent on a fon's.
No XXVIII. SATURDAY, AUGUST 20.
HERE is no set of men to whom his God! In fhort, the moft béarable of
your professed layers of bon mots, or ciery, and not very feldom a disgrace. sputterers of good things; who go into Should we carry our speculations on company for no other season in nature, this fubje& ftill farther, it might probut to catch at every little opportunity bably be found, that one Iralf of our of being smart, and build a reputation modern infidels is produced by the ab. of wit and vivacity upon the harmleis surd affection of saying a good thing, peculiarities, or casual indiscretions, of and the desire of being thought uncomtheir acquaintance. This species of monly threwd by the generality of the impertinents, if we properly examine world. In order to effect this, a finguthe principles upon which they act, are larity of opinion is firit of all adoptedź, not more to be despised for the conti- and the more dangerous this opinion is, nual air of felf-sufficiency they assume, the more it answers the purpose of being than for the malevolence of their difpo. talked of, and renders the person who sitions, in withing to disconcert, whiere adopts it pointed out from the ordinary real good-nature and true politeness claffes of mankind. This fingularity should be Audious to oblige. Yet, not- of sentiment of course occasions a finguwitbitanding the greateit number of larity of expreffion; and the confequence these worthy gentlemen affect a fupe- at last is, that the unhappy wretch, riority of understanding above the rett who thus aims at universal admiration, of the world, a fenfible obferver will jefts himself out of every sensible and find, that the very best is feldom more worthy inan's efteem here, and laughs than a squirt charged with the trite re. away his hopes of hereafter too. lations of despicable jeft-books and com- An old school-fellow of mine, poor mon place remarks, to be let off as oc- Dick Brazen, is one of those men whose .cafion may arite, in whatever company principal Atudy is to attract the attention it may be their fortune to be introduced. of their acquaintance by a sinartness of
As the vanity of being admired en- ! repartee, and a poignancy of satire in'. grellus their whole ambition, a wit of the application of a joke. Dick's whole this class is not less a disagreeable ac labour, these forty years, has been ta quaintance than a dangerous friend: he make himself a very disagreeable comis incapable of confidence; and where- ''panion; and I cannot help saying he has ever a secret of the molt important na- been no way disappointed in his end. ture with which he is trusted, may un- The moment he enters a room, and happily interfere with an opportunity of makes his bow, he fits with the utmost gratitying, bis natural propensity, his patience to catch at any expression which discretion is in an instant kicked down. may admit of a farcalin; and is fure, stairs by his pride, and the peace of a without any regard to the condition or whole family, in all probability, facria lex of the freaker, to use his belt endeaficel to an indelicate reparter, or an igo vours to curn it into ridicule or connorant joke. Nay, no confideration, tempt. If nothing of this kind happens, either moral or religious, is able to see he makes himselt the hero of fome linle ftrain the torrent of his impertinence; tale, and perhaps tells a hundred imand is it not too common a circum. pertinent stories for the fake of relating ftance, that where human obligations what he said upon such and such a cirafford him no subject of exercising his cumitance; how he put Lady This talents, that he bursts at once through thing out of countenance, with an obthe not awful of the divine, and circu- fervation upon a pincushion; and cut up lates 4 daring laugh at the mandares of Sir John T'other, with a ftroke upon a
fnuff-box. The worst of all is, the same "auditors:' This is Mr. Brasen's fault, observation which that celebrated repro- and indeed the fault of every worthy hate, the Earl of Rochester, made on member of his brotherhood; they are Charles the Second, for the continual very happy in renvembering every good repetition of his stories, may, with all thing they have said, but conitantly forimaginable justice, be applied to Mr. get they have retailed it perhaps five Brazen. That monarch had a custom hundred times upon the same company, of telling every day, in the circle, a I Mall conclude this paper with an thoutand trifting occurrences of his anecdore of the identical Mr. Brazen, youth, and would constantly repeat them whom I have thus taken the liberty of over and over again, without the small introducing to my readers, and which et variation; so that such of his cour- I think is a general picture of all the tiers as were acquainted with his ma- clever fellows of this class within the jelty's foible, wopid inftantly retreat bills of mortality. Being carried to sup whenever he began any of his parra- one night, by a friend, with a company tions. My Lord Rochefter being with of very fentible people whom he had him one day, took the liberty of being never seen before, Dick was fo very very fevere upon that head - Your ma- much pleated, that he was extremely " jelty,' fay's he, has undoubtedly the mortified, or, in other words, found no • best memory in the world; I have opportunity of exerrifing his talent for I heard you repeat the same story, withbon mois. Being asked to the fame party
ont che variation of a syllable, every a fecond time-No, no,' says he, I day there ten years; but what I think have been ditappointed already, and extraordinary is, that you never recol- • will never fit twice in a company which le&t.you generally tell it to the same set of ! I cannot laugh at, by God!
N° XXIX. SATURDAY, AUGUST 27.
TO THE BABLER.
I hope it will not be looked upon as va
nity, if I say, my ever laiting Itudy was THERE is no necessity so lament- to make every thing agreeable to tim,
able as where a truly sensible and In short, Sir, I icacely imagined a good man is obliged, from the tyranny bereafter could add to my feliciy, nos of cuttim, to run into those actions forined a single wish beyond the approwhich be bouin despites and abhors; and bation of my husband. is reduced to Ure dreadfol alternative of One evening, Sir, Mr. Well worth emailing intamy on his name for life, or fupped abroad with a party of trends, Eurfing at once through the laws of his and came huine with a good-humour country, and violating ile commands of which was vrtibly conltrained. Howhris God. You will eafily apprehend ever, as be repeatedly assured me that nothat I intend to trouble you on the fatal thing was the matter, I rather aceused consequences of duelling. I do, Sir; myself of unneceffary apprehention, than and have a tale to untold that mult supposed he was really disturbed, That diench your humanity in tears. evening he was more than ufuaily ten
I am the wretched reliet of the most der 10 me, and paid an extraordinary amiable of men. Three months ago I attention to the children; he went up to was tire barwiest of my sex! What am the nurlery, kified each teparately three } mow But you thaji hear, Sir. I am a or four times, and bitffed thein with an young woman of twenty three, and about uncommon energy of expression. We tve vears ago married a mait delerving retire l in a lizie tinde' atter; and jurige yoeng man of fortune, equal to my my diftraction, Mr. Babier, when my own, big whom I have four children, woman woke me in the morning with crery one (if the doating fondnefs of a the following letter! manner may be credited) the littie em. blem of it's ever to be regretted father. MY ADORABLE MARIA,
During the little fpace of our mar- BEFORE this reaches your hands, 1 riare, Mr. Wellworth seemed to live for
Last night Colonel Do ptiler purpose but to oblige me; and Melmach and I had a difference about
ain no more.