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them only to the intincts of nature, and without laws, out-powering by num. directed by hunger alone in the choice bers all opposition, ravaging cities, of an ahode, how have we feen whole overturning empires; and, after having armies starting wild at once from their destroyed whole nations, and spread exforests and their dens! Goths, Huns, tensive desolation, how have we seen Vandals, Saracens, Turks, Tartars, theni sink oppressed by some new enemy, myriads of men, animals in human more barbarous, and even form, without country, without name, known than they! Adieu.
FROM LIEN CHI ALTANGI, TO FUM HOAM, FIRST PRESIDENT OF THE
CEREMONIAL ACADEMY AT PEKIN, IN CHINA.
S the instruction of the fair-sex in whole creation, not even Babylon in
, to the care of foreigners; as their lan- lady in the virgin.bloom of sixty-three; guage-masters, music-matters, hair.
nor a battered unmarried beżu, who frizzers, and governesses, are all from fquibs about from place to place, thew. abroad; I had tome intentions of opene ing his pig-tail wig and his ears. The ing a female academy myself, and made one appears to my imagination in the no doubt, as I was quite a foreigner, form of a double night-cap, or a roll of of meeting a favourable reception. pomatum; the other in the shape of an
In this I intended to instruct the la. electuary, or a box of pills. dies in all the conjugal mysteries; wives I would once more, therefore, advise Mould be taught the art of managing the ladies to get husbands. I would de." husbands, and maids the skill of properly fire them not to discard an old lover chusing them; I would teach a wife without very fufficient reasons, nor treat how far she might venture to be fick the new with ill-nature till they know without giving disgust; the should be him false; let not prudes alledge the acquainted with the great benefits of falseness of the sex, coquets the pleathe cholic in the stomach, and all the sures of long courtships, or parents the thorough-bred infolence of fashion; necessary preliminaries of penny for maids Yhould learn the secret of nicely penny. I have reasons that would fidiftinguishing every competitor; they lence even a cafuift in this particular. should be able to know the difference in the first place, therefore, I divide between a pedant and a scholar, a citizen the subject into fifteen heads, and then and a prig, a squire and his horse, a fic argumentor-but, not to give you beau and his monkey; but, chiefly, they and myself the spleen, be contented at Thould be taught the art of managing present with an Indian tale. their fipiles, from the contemptuous fim- In a winding of the river Anidar, per to the long laborious laugh. just before it falls into the Caspian sea,
But I have discontinued the project; there lies an island unfrequented by the for what would signify teaching ladies inhabitants of the Continent. In this the manner of governing or chusing seclusion, blessed with all that wild un, husbands, when marriage is at present cultivated nature could bestow, lived so much out of fashion, that a lady is a princess and her two daughters. She very well off who can get any husband at had been wrecked upon the coast while al ? Celibacy now prevails in every her children as yet were infants, who, rank of life; the streets are crouded of consequence, though grown up, were with old bachelors, and the houses with entirely unacquainted with man. Yet, ladies who have refused good offers, unexperienced as the young ladies were and are never likely to receive any for in the opposite sex, both early discovered the future.
symptoms, the one of prudery, the The only advice, therefore, I could other of being a coquet. The eldest give the fair-sex, as things stand at pre- was ever learning maxims of wisdom lent, is to get husbands as fait as they and discretion from her mamma, while can. There is certainly nothing in the the youngest employed all her hours in
gazing at her own face in a neighbour- upon the beach, at the end of the line, ing fountain.
with the hook in his mouth, using every Their usual amusement in this foli. art that he thought could best excite tude was fishing: their mother had pity, and particularly looking extreme. tanght them all the secrets of the art; ly tender, 'which is usual in such cir. the thewed them which were the most cumstances. The coquet, therefore, in likely places to throw out the line, what some measure influenced by the innobaits were most proper for the various cence of his looks, ventured to contraseasons, and the bett manner to draw did her companion. Upon my word, up the finny prey, when they had hook- • fifter,' says she, I fee nothing in the ed it. In this manner they spent thcir animal so very terrible as you are time, easy and innocent; till one day, pleased to apprehend; I think it may the princess being indisposed, desired « lerve well enough for a change. Al. then to go and caich her a Iturgeon or ways sharks, and sturgeons, and loba shark for fupper, which he fancied • fters, and crawfish, make me quite might fit easy on her stomach. The • sick. I fancy a fice of this nicely daughters obeyed; and clapping on a grilladed, and dressed up with shrimpgold fith, the usual bait on thote occa- fauce, would be very pretty eating, sous, went and sat upon one of the 'I fancy mama would like a bit with rocks, letting the gilded hook glide pickles above all things in the world; down with the stream.
and if it thould not fit easy on her On the opposite shore, farther down, • stomach, it will be time enough to at the mouth of the river, lived a Diver i discontinue it when found disagreefor pearls ; a youth who, by long liabic able, you know.'--' Horrid !' cries in his tr.de, was almost grown amphi. the prude, I would the girl be poisonbious; lo that he could remain whole ed? I tell you it is a Tanlang; I hours at the bottom of the water with- I have read of it in twenty places. It out ever fetching breath. He happened is every where described as the most to be at that very instant diving when • pernicio's animal that ever infefted the ladies were filing with the gilded the ocean. I am certain it is the most hook. Seeing, therefore, the bait, insidious, rivenous creature in the which to him liad the appearance of real rworld; and is certain destruction if gold, he was refolved to seize the prize; taken internally.' The youngest filbut both his hands being already filled ter was now therefore obliged to submit; with pearl oysters, he found himbulf oh. both aslifted' in drawing the hook with liged to snap at it with his mouth. The fome violence from the Diver's jaw; and consequence is easily imagined; the he, tinding himfelf at liberty, bent his hook, before unperceived, was inllant- breast against the broad wave, and disap ly fastened in his jaw; nor could he, peareri in an instant. with all his efforts, or liis flounicring, Just at this juncture the mother came
down to the beach, to know the cause • Siiter,' cries the youngelt princess, of her daughters delay; they told her
I have certainly caught a monitrous every circumítance, defcribing the mon• fith; I never perceived any thing fter they hac caught. The old lady ' struggle fo at the end of my line be- was one of the inut discreet women in • fore; come, and help me to draw it in,' the world; she was called the Black, They both now therefore assisted in fish. eyed Princets, from two black eyes she ing up the Diver on shore; but nothing had received in her youth, being a little could equal their surprize upon seeing addicted to boxing in her liquor. Alas, him. “Bless my eyes! cries the prude, ' my children! cries Me, what have • what have we got here? This is a
6 you done? The fith you caught was very
odd fill to be sure! I never saw a man-fih; one of the most tame do. any thing in my life look so queer! ' meitic animals in the world. We
What eyes! what terrible claws! what could have let himn run and play about • a monstrous snout! I have read of this the garden, and he would have been « monster somewhere before; it cer- twenty times more entertaining than
fairly must be a Tanlang, that eats our squirrel or monkey.' -' that
wor en ; let us throw it back into the • be all,' says the young coquet,' we . sea where we found it.'
• will fish for him again. If that be The Diver in the mean time ftood all, Pll hold three tooth-picks to one
pound of snuff, I catch him whenever ment they continued for spany years,
Í please.' Accordingly they threw in ftill fishing, but without success; till, their line once more; but, with all their at last, the genius of the place, in pity. gilding, and padling, and affiduity, to their distreffes, changed the prude. they could never after catch the Diver. into a fhrimp, and the coquet into anIn this state of solitude and disappoint. oyster. Adieu,
FROM THE SAME.
I Am amused, my dear Fum, with serving monsters, rises into unbounded
the labours of some of the learned reputation. here. One hall write you a whole folio The labour's of such men, instead of on the dissection of a caterpillar ; an.: being calculated to amuse the public, other shall (well his works with a de- are laid out only in diverting each other. scriptioh of the plumage on the wing of The world becomes very little the better a butterfly; a third shall see a little world or the wiser, for knowing what is the on a peach leaf, and publish a book to peculiar food of an infect that is itself describe what his readers might see more the food of another, which in it's turn clearly in two minutes, only by being is eaten by a third: but there are men furnished with eyes and a microscope. who have studied themselves into an ha. • I have frequently compared the un- bit of investigating and admiring fuchs derstandings of such men to their own minutiæ. To these fuch subjects are glasses. Their field of vision is too pleasing, as there are some who con contracted to take in the whole of any centediy spend whole days in endeavourbut minute objects; they view all nature ing to solve ænigmas, or disentangle the. bit by bit; now the proboscis, now the puzzling iticks of children. attennæ, now the pinna of a flea. But of all the learned, those who pre. Now the polypus comes to breakfast tend to investigate remote antiquity, have upon a worm; now it is kept up to see least to plead in their own defence, when how long it will live without eating; they carry this passion to a faulty excefs. now it is turned inside outward; and They are generally found to supply by now it fickens and dies. Thus they conjecture the want of record; and proceed, laborious in trifles, conftant in then by perseverance are wrought up experiment, without one fingle abstrac- into a confidence of the truth of opi. tion, by which alone knowledge may nions, which even to themselves at first be properly said to encrease; till, at last, appeared founded only in imagination. their ideas, ever employed upon minute The Europeans have heard much of things, contract to the size of the dimi- the kingdom of China : it's politeness, nutive object, and a single mite shall fill arts, commerce, laws, and morals, are, the whole mind's capacity
however, but very imperfectly known Yet, believe me, my friend, ridicu- among them. They have even now in lous as these men are to the world, they their Indian warehouse numberless utenare set up as objects of esteem for each fils, plants, minerals, and niachines, of other. They have particular places ap. the use of which they are entirely ignopointed for their meetings; in which rant; nor can any among them even one thews his cockle-fhell, and is praited make a probable guess for what they by all the society; another produces his might have been designed. Yet, though powder, makes some experiments that this people be fo ignorant of the present result in nothing, and comes off with real state of China, the philosophers I admiration and applaule; a third comes am defcribing have entered into long, out with the important discovery of some learned, laborious disputes, about what new process in the skeleton of a mole, China was two thousand years ago. and is set down as the accurate and sen. China and European happiness are but able; while one ftill more fortunate than little connected even at this day; but the rest, by pickling, potting, and pre. European happiness and China two