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him more loquacious than a chambermaid. But this is really the cafe: fuffer him to take the lead in converfation, and there are certain topics, in which the molt prating goffip at a christening would find it difficult to cope with him. The frength of his conftitution is his favourite theme: he is conftantly attempting to prove that he is not fufceptible of the least injury from cold, though a hoarfenefs in his voice, and the continual interruptions of a confumptive cough, give him the lye in his throat at the end of every sentence. The inftances, indeed, by which he endeavours to prove his hardinefs, unluckily rather tend to convince us of the delicacy of his frame, as they feldom amount to more than his having kicked off the bed-cloaths in his fleep, laid afide one of his flannel waistcoats in a hot day, or tried on a new pair of pumps before they had been fufficiently aired. For the truth of thefe facts he always appeals to his mamma, who vouches for him with a figh, and protests that his careleffnefs would ruin the conftitution of an horse.

I am now coming to the most extraordinary part of his character. This pufillanimous creature thinks himself, and would be thought, a Buck. The noble fraternity of that order find that their reputation can be no otherwife maintained, than by prevailing on an Irish chairman now and then to favour them with a broken head, or by conferring the fame token of their esteem on the unarmed and defencelets waiters at a tavern. But these feats are by no means fuited to the difpofition of our

hero: and yet he always looks upon his harmless exploits as the bold froficks of a Buck. If he escapes a nervous fever a month, he is quite a Buck: if he walks home after it is dark, without his mamma's maid to attend him, he is quite a Buck: if he fits up an hour later than bis ufual time, or drinks a glass or two of wine without water, he calls it a debauch; and because his head does not ache the next morning, he is quite a Buck. In fhort, a woman of the leaft fpirit within the precincts of St. James's, would demolith him in a week, fhould he pretend to keep pace with her in her irregularities; and yet he is ever dignifying himself with the appellation of a Buck.

Now might it not be giving this gentleman an useful hint, Mr. Town, to affure him, that while milk and water is his darling liquor, a Bamboo cane his Club, and his mother the fole objec of his affections, the world will never join him in denominating him a Buck that if he fails in this attempt, he is abfolutely excluded from every order in fociety; for whatever his deferts may be, no affembly of antiquated virgins can ever acknowledge him for fifter, nature having as deplorably difqualified him for that rank in the community, as he has difqualified himself for every other: and that, though he never can arrive at the dignity of leading apes in hell, he may poffibly be condemned to dangle in that capacity at the apron-ftring of an old maid in the next world, for having fo abominably refembled one in this. I am, Sir, your humble fervant,

N° CXII. THURSDAY, MARCH 18, 1756.

AUREUS AXIS ERAT, TEMO AUREUS, AUREA SUMMÆ
CURVATURA ROTÆ, RADIORUM ARGENTEUS ORDO:
PER JUGA CHRYSOLITHI, POSITÆQUE EX ORDINE GEMME.

W. C.

OVID

HERE ON A FAIR ONE'S HEAD-DRESS SPARKLING STICKS,
WINGING ON SILVER SPRINGS, A COACH AND SIX:
THERE ON A SPRIG OR SLOP'D POMPON YOU SEE
A CHARIOT, SULKY, CHAISE, OR VIS-A-VIS.

TO MR. TOWN.

has appeared a ftrange kind of inverfion, for the wheels now run upon the ladies heads. As this affertion may probably. Iable, that the ladies heads have run puzzle many readers, who pay no atten

T has for a long time been obferv

much upon wheels; but of late there

ion to the lapid and whimsical revolu

tions of modern tafte, it will be neceffary to inform them, that inftead of a cap, the prefent mode is for every female of fashion to load her head with fome kind of carriage; whether they are made with broad wheels or not I cannot determine; however, as they are undoubtedly excluded the Turnpike A&t, it is by no means material. Those heads which are not able to bear a coach and fix (for vehicles of this fort are very apt to crack the brain) fo far act confiftently with prudence as to make ufe of a poft chariot, or a fingle-horfe chaife with a beau perching in the middle.

modern courtship may be carried on by means of this new head-drefs.

Instead of a Capriole, fuppofe this capital decoration was called a Scutcheon of Pretence, which must not here be underftood as a term of Heraldry, but as an invitation to matrimony. Thus, if a lady prefumes that he has a right, either from her wit, beauty, merit, or fortune, to pretend to a set of horses, let fix bright bays, blacks, or greys, prance down one fide of her head; and according to the rank the infifts upon, let a ducal or an earl's coronet, or a bloody hand be diftinguifhed upon her Capriole. The females of lefs ambition may likewife exprefs their inclinations by a postchariot and pair; and even thofe who, from a due confideration of the low condition of the funds, are fo condefcend

thing to do but to fix upon their heads a fingle-horfe chaife, filled with a loving couple, fticking as clofe together as two dried figs. As to thofe who have rafhly vowed virginity, if their great proneness to cenfure the reft of the fex, and the fretfulness of their aspect, be not fulfi cient indications to keep the men at a diftance, they may erect upon their noddles a formal female feated in a Sulky, foolishly pleafed with having the whole vehicle to herself, and aukwardly exer cifing the imaginary power of having the fole command of the reins.

The curiosity I had of knowing the purport of this invention, and the general name of thefe machines, led me to make inquiry about them of a fashionable milliner at the court end of the town. She obliged me with the fighting as to ftoop to a plain cit, have noof one of thefe equipages, defigned for the head of a lady of quality, which I furveyed with much admiration; and placing it on the palm of my hand, could not help fancying myfelf, like Gulliver, taking up the Empress of Lilliput in her state-coach. The vehicle itself was conftructed of gold threads; and was drawn by fix dapple greys of blown glass, with a coachman, postilion, and gentleman within, of the fame brit tle manufacture. Upon further enquiry, the milliner told me, with a fmile, that it was difficult to give a reafon for inventions fo full of whim, but that the name of this ornament (if it may be called fuch) was a Capriole or Cabriole; which we may trace from the fame original with our English word Caprice, both being derived from the French word cabrer, which fignifies to prance like an borse.

I

It is not to be doubted but that this fashion took it's rife among the ladies from their fondness for equipage; and I dare fay, that every fair one, who carries a coach and fix upon her head, would be glad to be carried with equal fplendour in a coach of her own. would therefore propose a scheme which might render this whimsical mode of fome kind of fervice to both fexes; by which the ladies may give a tacit hint of their inclinations without the least breach of modeffy; the men may prevent the danger and inconvenience attending the prefent method of advertising for wives; and the whole courfe of a

As a further means of facilitating this new method of courtship, I must beg leave to propofe, that every lady's bofom fhould, instead of a pendent cross, which favours of popery, be ornamented with a chain and locket, fomething like thofe bottle-tickets which direct us to port, claret, or burgundy, upon which might be curioufly engraved the numbers two hundred, five hundred, or a thoufand, according to the fettlement expected. But to thofe female Quixotes who fcorn the Capriole, and ere&t Windmills upon their heads instead of it, I fhall offer a word of advice worthy their attention; which is, that they would provide a pipe of communication, to be conveyed from these machines to the brain, and conftituted upon the model of the ingenious Dr. Hale's ventilators, that, whenever the fails of the Windmill are put into motion by the external air, they may draw off all pernicious vapours, which may occafion a vertigo 212

I am, Sir, your humble fervant,

H.

in the infide, as well as on the outside of may hear a vis à-vis. In a word, all their heads. the different proposals of various fuitors might be made by means of these ornaments, which might be worn over the foreheads of the beaux, like the white horfe in the grenadiers caps; and the ladies might be as much fmitten with a promifing Capriole on the head of a lover, as heretofore with an elegant periwig.

I am much pleafed with the propofal of my ingenious correfpondent, and think it particularly well adapted to the prefent difpofition of the ladies. A fondnefs for fhewy equipages is now become one of their darling paffions; and the fplendour in which they are to be maintained, feems to be one of the chief confiderations in modern matches. If a fine lady can be carr ed to court in a chair richly ornamented, or roll to the opera in a gilt chariot, the little confiders with how difagreeable a companion fhe goes through the journey of life: and a polite female would no more fix her affections on a man who drives but a beggarly pair, than the could be contented with being tumbled down to his country feat, like Punch's wife to Rumford, in a wheel-barrow.

The ladies having thus ftrongly manifefted their paffion for equipage, the gentlemen, I fuppofe, out of mere gallantry, and in order to further the gra. tification of their defires, have taken great pains to convert themselves into coachmen, grooms, and jockies. The flapped hat, the jemmy frock with plate buttons and a leathern belt, and the pride which fome young men of quality take in driving, are all calculated the better to qualify them for being the ladies humble fervants. I am therefore for extending my correfpondent's fcheme: and as the ladies now adorn their heads with the fign of a coach and fix, like the door of a Meufe alehoufe, I would have the gentlemen alfo bear these emblematical vehicles; by which the other fex may, by a fingle glance at a lover's head, fee in what itate they will be fupported; as we know a clergyman by his rofe, or an officer by his cockade.

The pretty fellows, who study drefs, might thew a great deal of invention in fuiting their Caprioles to their circumftances. Any nobleman or gentleman, who has the honour to be a Knowing One, might fhew his affection for the turf by carrying the horse and jockey; another, who is an excellent driver, might bear his own figure exalted in a Phaeton; and a third, who thinks of picking up a partner for life that can be pleafed with a tête-à téte or fober piquet party with her husband,

If this mode fhould prevail, the concluding a treaty of marriage between two perfors of quality might be confidered in the fame light, and expreffed in the fame terms, as making a match at Newmarket; and instead of the hackneyed phrafes at prefent used by our news-writers, we might perhaps fee the important articies concerning marriages drawn up after the following manner.

We hear that a match will be shortly made between the mourning coach and fix of a merchant's widow, with a great jointure, and an hunter, in fine order, belonging to a younger brother of a noble family.

A running horfe, highly valued for his blood, is expected to start soon with a young filly from Yorkshire. Many thousand pounds are depending on this match.

A few days ago a young fellow from Ireland, mounted on a fingle horse, attacked an heirefs in her coach and fix. The lady made little or no refiftance, and fuffered herself to be taken out of the coach, and carried off behind him.

A gay coach and fix, belonging to a young heir juft of age, came to town fait week in great splendour, and was intended to be matched with an equipage of the fame kind: but having unfortunately run against Arthur's Chocolate-house, it broke down, and the owner was very much hurt.

We hear from Bath that the postchaife of a young lady of great beauty lately made it's appearance in the long room, and foon after went off with the landau of a neighbouring country fquire.

We are alfo informed from the fame place, than an old-fashioned two-wheel chaife with a fingle horse, contrived to hold only one perfon, had driven about the walks for fome time; but having jostled against the Sulky of an old bat chelor, in his grand climacteric, it was judged expedient to join them together; when they formed a moft agreeable vis à-vis for the mutual accommodation of both parties.

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N° CXIII.

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THURSDAY, MARCH 25, 1756.

O SANCTAS GENTES, QUIBUS HÆC NASCUNTUR IN HORTIS
NUMINA!

O HALLOW'D GROUND! A GROVE HERE REV'REND NODS,

HERE THICK PLANTATIONS RISE OF ALL THE GODS.

IRTU is almoft the only inftance in which the appearance of literary knowledge is affected in the prefent age; and our persons of rank acquire just enough fcholarship to qualify themselves for Connoiffeurs. This fort of ftudents become fufficiently acquainted with the customs of the ancients, to learn the lefs interefting particulars concerning them. They can diftinguith a Tiberius from a Trajan, know the Pantheon from the Amphitheatre, and can explain the difference between the pretexta and the unica: which (only fuppofing the prefent times to have elapfed fome hundred years) is just as deep knowledge, as if fome future antiquarian fhould discover the difference between a Carolus and an Anna, or St. Paul's church and Drury Lane playhouse, or a full-trimmed fuit and a French frock.

But the full difplay of modern polite learning is exhibited in the decoration of parks, gardens, &c. and centered in that important monofyllable, Tafte. Tafte comprehends the whole circle of the polite arts, and sheds it's influence on every lawn, avenue, grafs-plat, and parterre. Tafte has peopled the walks and gardens of the great with more numerous inhabitants than the ancient Satyrs, Fauns, and Dryads. While infidelity has expunged the Chriftian Theology from our creed, Tafte has introduced the Heathen Mythology into our gardens. If a pond is dug, Neptune, at the command of Tafte, emerges from the bafon, and prefides in the middle; or if a vifta is cut through a grove, it must be terminated by a Flora or an Apollo. As the ancients held that every fpot of ground had it's guardian Genius, and that woodland deities were pegged in the knotty entrails of every tree, fo in the gardens laid out by modern Tafte, every walk is peopled with gods and goddeffes, and every corner of it has it's tutelar deity. Temples are erected to all the train of deities mentioned in Homer or Ovid, which edi

Juv.

fices, as well as their several statues, are adorned with Latin or Greek infcriptions; while the learned owner wonders at his own surprising stock of literature, which he fees drawn out at large before him, like the whole knowledge of an apothecary infcribed upon his gallipots.

Thefe perfons of Tatte may be confidered as a fort of learned idolaters, fince they may be almoft faid to adore thefe graven images, and are quite enthufiaftic in their veneration of them. The following letter may poffibly give them fome offence; but as I have myfelf no extravagant fondness for a Jupiter Tonans, or a Belvidere Apollo, I heartily with the fcheme proposed by my correfpondent may take place, though it fhould reduce the price of heathen godheads.

SIR,

TO MR. TOWN.

AT a time when all wife heads are

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confidering the ways and means to raise taxes, that may prove the least oppreffive to indigence, and moft effectually reftrictive of luxury, permit me to propofe (as a fupplement to the thoughts of one of your correfpondents on this fubject) a national tax upon Gods.

It is a strange, but an undeniable truth, Mr. Town, that if you and I were to travel through England, and to vifit the citizen in his country box, the nobleman at his feat, the efquire at the hall-houfe, and even the divine at his parfonage, we should find the gardens, avenues, and groves, belonging to each manfion, ftuffed and ornamented with Heathen Gods.

In the prefent declining state of our eftablished religion, I almoft tremble to confider what may be the confequences of thefe ready-made deities. Far be it from me to fuppofe that the great and the rich will worship any God whatfoever: but ftill I am induced to fear, that the poor and the vulgar, when they find all other worship ridiculed and laid afide,

may

may foolishly take to thefe molten images, and adore every leaden godhead they can find. If a tax on wheels has put down fome hundreds of coaches, by a parity of reafon, a tax upon Gods may pull down an equal, if not a greater

number of ftatues. I would alfo offer another propofal, which is this: That an oak be immediately planted wherever a ftatue has been taken away; by which means thofe vaft woods, which of late years have been cut down in England, to fupply the immediate neceflities of the illuftrious Arthurites in St. James's Street, may be in fome meafure fupplied to future generations.

Among our prefent taxes, fome of them fall upon branches of iplendor not totally luxurious. Wheel-carriages may be neceffary; want of health or lameness of limbs may requite them: but what neceffities can we pretend for ftatues in our gardens, Penates in our libraries, and Lares on every chimney-piece? I have remarked many wild whims of this kind, that have appeared fubmiffions, if not attachments, to idolatry. A gentleman of my acquaintance has destroyed his chapel, merely because he could not put up ftatues in it; and has filled his garden with every god that can be found in Spence's Polymetis. Another of my friends, after having placed a Belvidere Apollo very confpicuoufly and naked upon the top of a mount, has erected an Obelifk to the Sun: and this expence he has not put himself to for the beauty of the Obelifk, for it is not beautiful, nor again for the fplendour of the planet, which is of pewter double gilt, but only becaufe, being in pofled fion of copies or originals of every deity that Greece or Italy could boat, he was refolved to have the God of Perfia, to

complete his collection. A poll tax therefore upon gods and goddeffes, be their reprefentation what it will, Suns, Dogs, Moons, or Monkies, is abfolutely neceffary, and would infallibly bring in a large revenue to the ftate.

Happening to be the other day at Slaughter's Coffee house in St. Martin's Lane, I fawtwo very fine ftatues of Fame and Fortune, brought out of Mr. Roubilliac's gate, andexpofed to view, before they were nailed up and carted. The boy of the houfe told us they were to be placed upon the top of Sir Thomas

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-'s chapel in Hampshire. Is it for fuch as thefe,' obferved a fneering papift, who stood near me, that crucifixes have been removed, and that reverend faints and martyrs have been destroyed, and pounded into duft? Is it for thefe that St. Peter has been broken to pieces, and St. Paul melted down into water-pipes? Muft Our Lady make room for Proferpine? and the holy giant St. Chriftopher fall a victim to the Farnefian Hercules? Will you not agree with me, Sir,' continued he, that as men are induced, and almoft constrained, to judge of others by their own manners and inclinations, we, who are fuppofed to worship the images of Chriftians, muft naturally conclude, that the Proteftants of the Church of England worthip the images of Heathens? I confefs I was at a lofs how to answer the acuteness of his questions; and must own, that I cannot help thinking St. Anthony preaching to the fishes, or St. Dunstan taking the Devil by the nofe, as proper ornaments for a chapel as any Pagan Deities what

ever.

Hitherto I have kept you entirely among the molten images without doors; but were we to enter the feveral manfrons whose avenues and demefnes are adorned in the manner I defcribe, we fhould find every chamber a pagod, filled with all the monitrous images that the idolatry of India can produce. I will not prefume to infer that the ladies addrefs Kitoos (prayers which the Japanele make ufe of in time of public diftrefs) to their Ingens, but I am apt to furmife, that in times of danger and invafion, fome of your fair readers would be more alarmed at the approach of the French to their china than to their chapels, and would fooner give up a favourite lap-dog, than a grotesque chimney-piece figure of a Chinele faint with numberless heads and arms. I have not yet digetted my thoughts, in what manner the fair fex ought to be taxed. It is a tender point, and requires confideration. At prefent, I am of opinion, they ought to be fpared, and the whole burthen entirely laid upon thofe Bramins and Imans, whofe idolatrous temples lie publicly open to our streets. I am, Sir, your most humble fervant,

MOSES ORTHODOX.

No

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