were willing to contribute fomething towards rewarding the induftrious, and supplying them with neceffaries. But the gift is now almoft demanded as a right; and our journeymen, apprentices, c. are grown fo polite, that instead of referving their Chriftmas Box for it's original ufe, their ready cafh ferves them only for prefent pocket-money; and inftead of vifiting their friends and relations, they commence the fine gentlemen of the week. The fixpenny hop is crouded with ladies and gentlemen from the kitchen; the Syrens of Catherine Street charm many a holiday gallant into their fnares; and the playhoufes are filled with beaux, wits, and critics, from Cheapfide and Whitechapel. The barrows are furrounded with raw lads fetting their halfpence against oranges; and the greafy cards and dirty cribbage-board employ the genteeler ganetters in every alehoufe. A merry Christmas has ruined many a promifing young fellow, who has been flush of money at the beginning of the week, but before the end of it has committed a robbery on the till for more.

But in the midst of this general feftivity, there are fome fo far from giving into any extraordinary meriment, that they feem more gloomy than ufual, and appear with faces as difmal as the month in which Christmas is celebrated. I have heard a plodding citizen moft grievously complain of the great expence of houfekeeping at this featon, when his own and his wife's relations claim the privilege of kindred to eat him out of houfe and home. Then again, confidering the prefent total decay of trade, and the great load of taxes, it is a fhame, they think, that poor fhopkeepers thould be fo fleeced and plundered, under the pretence of Christmas Boxes. But if tradefmen have any reafon to murmur at Christmas, many of their customers, on the other hand, tremble at it's approach; and it is made a fanction to every petty mechanic, to break in upon their joy, and disturb a gentleman's rep:fe at this time, by bringing in his bill.

Others who used to be very merry at

this feafon, have within this year or two been quite difconcerted. To put them out of their old way, is to put them out of humour: they have therefore quarrelled with the almanack, and refufe to keep their Christmas according to act of parliament. My coufin Village informs me, that this obftinacy is very common in the country; and that many still perfift in waiting eleven days for their mirth, and defer their Christmas till the blowing of the Glaftonbury Thorn. In fome, indeed, this cavilling with the calendar has been only the refult of close œconomy; who, by evading the expence of keeping Christmas with the rest of the world, find means to neglect it, when the general time of celebrating it is over. Many have availed themselves of this expedient: and I am acquainted with a couple, who are enraged at the New Style on another account; because it puts them to double expences, by robbing them of the opportunity of keeping Christmas Day and their Wedding Day at the fame time.

As to perfons of fashion, this annual carnival is worse to them than Lent, or the empty town in the middle of fummer. The boisterous merriment, and aukward affectation of politeness among the vulgar, interrupts the courfe of their refined pleasures, and drives them out of town for the holidays. The few who remain are very much at a lofs how to difpofe of their time; for the theatres at this feafon are opened only for the reception of fchool-boys and apprentices, and there is no public place where a perfon of fashion can appear without being furrounded with the dirty inhabitants of St. Giles's, and the brutes from the Wapping fide of Weftminster. Thefe unhappy fufferers are really to be pitied: and fince Chriftmas Day has, to perfons of diftinction, a great deal of infipidity about it, I cannot enough applaud an ingenious lady, who fent cards round to all her acquaintance, inviting them to a rout on that day; which they declared was the happiest thought in the world, because Christmas Day is so much like Sunday.

T

SIR,

CON

Juv.

TO MR. TOWN.

ONTESTED Elections and Double Returns being at prefent the general topic of difcourfe, a subject in which the ladies, methinks, are but little concerned, I have a fcheme to propofe to you in their behalf, which I doubt not but you, as their profeffed patron, will ufe your eloquence to recommend, and your authority to enforce. It has long been a matter of real concern to every well-wisher to the fair fex, that the men should be allowed the free choice of reprefentatives, to whom they can make every real or pretended grievance known, while the women are deprived of the fame privilege; when in reality they have many grievances utterly unknown and unthought of by the men, and which cannot be redreffed but by a Female Parliament.

I do not, indeed, pretend to the honour of first projecting this fcheme, fince an affembly of this nature has been propofed before: but as it appears to me fo neceffary, I would advife that writs be immediately iffued out for calling a ParJiament of Women, which for the future hould affemble every winter, and be diffolved every third year. My reafon for fhortening the time of their fitting proceeds from the reflection, that full as much business will be done, at least as many fpeeches will be made, by women in three years, as by men in feven. To this affembly every county and city in England fhall fend two members; but from this privilege I would utterly exclude every borough, as we fhall fently fee that they can have no bufinefs to tranfact there. But as I would have

pre

their number at leaft equal to that of the other parliament, the deficiency fhould be fupplied by the fquares and great streets at the court end of the town, each of which fhould be reprefented by one of their own inhabitants. In humble imitation of the Houses of Lords and Commons, the ladies of peers (whether fpiritual or temporal) fhould fit here in their own right, the others by election only; any woman to be qualified, whose hufband, or even whole father (for I would by no means exclude the unmarried ladies) is qualified to be chosen into the other. In the fame manner, whatever entitles the husband or father to vote at that election, fhould entitle his wife or daughter to vote at this.

Having fettled this point, it now remains to adjust the subjects which they are to treat of: and thefe we fhall find to be, indeed, of the laft importance. What think you, Sir, of the rife and fall of fashions, of as much confequence to them as the rife and fall of kingdoms is to us? of the commencing a new acquaintance, equivalent to our making a new alliance? and adjutting the ceremonial of a rout or a ball, as interesting as the preliminaries of a treaty or a con grefs? These subjects, and these alone, will fufficiently employ them every fef fion; and as their judgment must be final, how delightful will it be to have bills brought in to determine how many inches of the leg or neck may lawfully be exposed, how many curtfies at a pub lic place amount to an acquaintance, and what are the precife privileges of birth or fortune that entitle the poffeffors to give routs or drums, on weekdays or on Sundays. Whoever fhould prefume to tranfgrefs against thefe laws,

might be punished fuitably to their offences; and be banished from public places, or condemned to do penance in linfey-woolfey: or if any female fhould be convicted of immodefty, the might be outlawed; and then (as thefe laws would not bind the nymphs of Drury) we fhould easily diftinguith a modeft woman, as the phrafe is, if not by her looks, at least by her drefs and appear ance; and the victorious Fanny might then be fuffered to strike bold strokes, without rivalry or imitation. If any man 100 fhould be found fo grofsly of fending against the laws of fashion, as to refuse a member a bow at a play, or a falute at a wedding, how fuitably would he be punished by being reprimanded on his knees in fuch an affembly, and by fo fine a woman as we may fuppofe the fpeaker would be? Then doubtless would a grand committee fit on the affairs of hoops; and were they eftablished in their prefent form by proper authority, doors and boxes might be altered and enlarged accordingly then fhould we talk as familiarly of the vifit-bill as of the marriage-bill; and with what pleasure should we perufe the regulations of the committee of drefs? Every lover of decorum would be pleafed to hear, that refractory females were taken into cuftody by the ufher of the black fan; the double return of a vifit would occafion as many debates as the double return for a certain county; and at the eve of an election, how pretty would it be to fee the ladies of the hire going about, mounted on their white palfreys, and canvaffing for votes.

:

Till this great purpofe is attained, I fee not how the vifible enormities in point of drefs, and failures in point of ceremony, can effectually be prevented. But then, and not before, I shall hope to fee politenefs and good breeding diffinguished from formality and affectation, and dreffes invented that will improve, not diminish the charms of the fair, and rather become than difguife the wearers. I am, Sir, yours, &c. TIMOTHY CANVASS.

I am much obliged to my correfpondent for his letter, and heartily with that this fcheme was carried into execution. The liberties daily taken in point of drefs demand proper reftrictions. The ancients fettled their national habit by law but the dress of our own coun

try is fo very fluctuating, that if the great grandmothers of the prefent generation were to rife, they would not be able to guefs at their pofterity from their dress, but would fancy themselves in a ftrange country. As thefe affairs fall more immediately under the cognizance of the ladies, the female world in general would foon be fenfible of the advantages accruing from a Female Parliament; and though ladies of fashion might probably claim fome peculiar liberties in drefs by their privilege, it might naturally be expected, that this wife affembly would at least keep the reft of the fex in order; nor suffer enormous hoops to spread themselves across the whole pavement, to the detriment of all honeft men going upon business along the ftreet; nor permit the chandler's wife to retail half-quarterns from behind the counter, in a fhort stomacher and without a handkerchief.

I am aware that a confiderable objection may be brought against this scheme: to wit, that a Female Parliament (like thofe of the men) may be fubject to corruption, and made dependant on a court. The enormous Elizabeth Ruff, and the ankward Queen of Scots Mob, are fatal inftances of the evil influence which courts have upon fashions: and as no one can tell the power which a British Queen might have over the councils of a

Female Parliament, future ages might perhaps fee the itays bolstered out into hump-backs, or the petticoats let down to conceal a bandy leg, from the fame fervile complaifance which warped the necks of Alexander's courtiers.

But though a Parliament on the foregoing fcheme has not yet taken place, an institution of the like nature has been contrived among that order of females, who (as I mentioned in a former paper) advertise for gentlemen to play at cards with them. The reader may remember, that fome time ago an advertisement appeared in the public papers, from the Covent Garden Society; in which it was fet forth, that one of their members was voted common. This very Society is compofed of thefe Agreeable Young Ladies, whofe bufiefs it is to play at cards with thofe gentlemen, who have good-nature and fortune fufficient to fit down contented with being lofers. It is divided, like the upper and lower Houses of Parliament, into Ladies and Commons. The upper order of Card

players

players take their feats according to the rank of those who game at high stakes with them; while the Commons are made up of the lower fort of gamblers within the hundreds of Drury and Covent Garden. Every one is obliged to pay a certain tax out of her Card-money; and the revenue arifing from it is applied to the levying of hoop-petticoats, facks, petenlairs, caps, handkerchiefs, aprons, &c. to be iffued out nightly, according to the exigence and degree of the members. Many revolutions have happened in this fociety fince it's inftitution: a Commoner in the space of a few weeks has been called up to the Houfe of Ladies; and another, who at first fat as Peerefs, has been suddenly degraded, and voted common.

More particulars of this fociety have not come to my knowledge: but their

defign feems to be, to erect a Commonwealth of themselves, and to rescue their liberties from being invaded by those who have prefumed to tyrannize over them. If this practice of playing their own cards, and thuffling for themselves, fhould generally prevail among all the Agreeable Young Gamesters of Covent Garden, I am concerned to think what will become of the venerable fisterhood of Douglas, Haddock, and Noble, as well as the fraternity of Harris, Derry, and the rest of those gentlemen, who have hitherto acted as Groom-porters, and had the principal direction of the game. From fuch a combination it may greatly be feared, that the honourable profeffion of Pimp will, in a fhort time, become as ufelefs as that of a Fleet. parfon.

VITE

LUCRET.

HE laft feffions deprived us of the

ciety, which (during it's fhort exiftence) was equal both in principles and practice to the Mohocks and Hell-fire Club of tremendous memory. This fociety was compofed of a few broken gamefters and defperate young rakes, who threw the fmall remains of their bankrupt fortunes into one common ftock, and thence affumed the name of the Latt Guinea Club. A fhort life and a 'merry one' was their favourite maxim; and they determined, when their finances fhould be quite exhausted, to die as they had lived, like gentlemen. Some of their members had the luck to get a reprieve by a good run at cards, and others by fnapping up a rich heiress or a dowager; while the reft, who were not cut off in the natural way by duels or the gallows, very refolutely made their quietus with laudanum or the piftol. The laft that remained of this fociety had very calmly prepared for his own exe

cution: he had cocked his piftol, deli

temple, and was juft going to pull the trigger, when he bethought himself that he could employ it to better purpose upon Hounflow Heath. This brave man, however, had but a very short refpite; and was obliged to fuffer the ignominy of going out of the world in the vulgar way, by an halter.

The enemies of play will perhaps confider thofe gentlemen, who boldly stake their whole fortunes at the gamingtable, in the fame view with these defperadoes; and they may even ge so far, as to regard the polite and honourable affembly at White's, as a kind of Laft Guinea Club. Nothing, they will fay, is fo fluctuating as the property of a gamefter, who (when luck runs against him) throws away whole acres at every catt of the dice, and whofe houfes are as unfure a poffeffion, as if they were built with cards. Many, indeed, have been reduced to the Last Guinea at this

genteel

genteel gaming-houfe; but the most inveterate enemies to White's must allow, that it is but now and then that a gamefter of quality, who looks upon it as an even bet whether there is another world, takes his chance, and difpatches himfelf, when the odds are against him in this.

But however free the gentlemen of White's may be from any imputation of this kind, it must be confeffed, that Suicide begins to prevail fo generally, that it is the moft gallant exploit by which our modern heroes chufe to fig. nalize themselves; and in this, indeed, tirey behave with uncommon prowess. They meet every face of death, however horrible, with the utmost refolution: fome blow their brains out with a piftol; fome expire, like Socrates, by poifon; fome fall, like Cato, on the point of their own fwords; and others, who have lived like Nero, affect to die like Seneca, and bleed to death. The moit exalted geniufes I ever remember to have heard of, were a party of reduced gamefters, who bravely refolved to pledge each other in a bowl of laudanum. I was lately informed of a gentleman, who went among his ufual companions at the gaming-table the day before he made. away with himself, and coolly questioned them, which they thought the gen teeleft method of going out of the world. There is, indeed, as much difference between a mean perlon and a man of quality in their manner of destroying themselves, as in their manner of living. The poor fheaking wretch, ftarving in a garret, tucks himself up in his lift garters; a fecond, coffed in love, drowns himself, like a blind puppy, in Rofamond's Pond; and a third cuts his throat with his own razor. But the man of fashion always dies by a piftol; and even the cobler of any spirit goes off by a dofe or two extraordinary of gin.

From the days of Plato down to thefe, a Suicide has always been compared to a toldier on guard deferting his poft; but I should rather confider a fet of thefe defperate men, who rush on certain death, as a hody of troops fent out on the Forlorn Hope. This falfe courage, however noble it may appear to the def perate and abandoned, in reality amounts to no more than the refolution of the ghwayman, who shoots himself with his own piftol, when he finds it impof

fible to avoid being taken. All practicable means, therefore, fhould be devifed to extirpate such abfurd bravery, and to make it appear every way horrible, odious, contemptible, and ridiculous. Every man in his fober fenses muft wifh, that the most fevere laws that could poffibly be contrived were enacted against Suicides. This fhocking bravado never did (and I am confident never will) prevail among the more delicate and tender fex in our own nation: though hiftory informs us, that the Roman ladies were once fo infatuated as to throw off the foftnefs of their nature, and commit violence on themselves, till the madness was curbed, by expofing their naked bodies in the public streets. This, I think, would afford a hint for fixing the like marks of ignominy onour Male Suicides; and I would have every lower wretch of this fort dragged at the cart's tail, and afterwards hung in chains at his own door, or have his quarters put up in terrorem in the most public places, as a rebel to his Maker. But that the Suicide of quality might be treated with more refpect, he fhould be indulged in having his wounded corpfe and fhattered brains lay (as it were) in ftate for fome days; of which dreadful fpectacle we may conceive the horror from the following picture drawn by Dryden, in one of his fables. The SLAYER OF HIMSELF too faw I there The gore congeal'd was clotted in his hair: With eyes half clos d, and mouth wide ope,

he lay,

And grim as when he breath'd his fullen foul away.

The common murderer has his skeleton preferved at Surgeons Hall, in order to deter others from being guilty of the fame crime; and I think it would not be improper to have a charnel house set apart to receive the bones of these more unnatural Self-murderers, in which monuments fhould be erected, giving an account of their deaths, and adorned with the glorious enfigns of their rafhnefs, the rope, the knife, the fword, or the piltol.

From reading the public prints, a foreigner might be naturally led to imagine, that we are the most lunatic people in the whole world. Almost every day informs us, that the coroner's inquest has fat on the body of fome miferabie Suicide, and brought in their verdi&t Lunacy; but it is P

very