Imágenes de páginas
PDF

To the Spectator General. soft, obliging, tractable creature." After

all," cries an old aunt (who belongs to the MR. JOHN SLY HUMBLY SHOWETH.

class of those who read plays with spectacles That upon reading the deputation given to

tion given to on), “what think you, nephew, of proper Mrs. the said Mr. John Sly, all persons passing by Dorothy ?"_" What do I think? why, I think his observatory behaved themselves with the

she cannot be above six foot two inches same decorum as if your honour yourself had in

ad high."-"Well, well, you may banter as long been present.

as you please, but height of stature is com• That your said officer is preparing, ac

ac-mavding and majestic."-" Come, come," cording to your honour's secret instructions,

$: says a cousin of mine in the family, “ I will hats for the several kinds or heads that

nal fit' him; Fidelia is yet behind-pretty Miss make figures in the realms of Great Britain, E:

tain; Fiddy must please you."-". Oh! your very with cocks significant of their powers and hur

humble servant, dear coz, she is as mucb too faculties.

young as her eldest sister is too old."-" Is it • That your said officer has taken due no

so, indeed," quoth she, "good Mr. Pert? tice of your instructions and admonitions con

con- You that are but turned of twenty-two, and cerning the internals of the head from the Mies Fidd

the Miss Fiddy in half a year's time will be in her outward form of the same. His hats for inen teens, and she is capable of learning any of the faculties of law and physic do but just libin

use thing. Then she will be so observant; she turn up, to give a little life to their sagacity :

cry will cry perhaps now and then, but never be his military hats glare full in the face; and he

angry." Thus they will think for me in this has prepared a familiar easy cock for all good

food matter, wherein I am more particularly con. companions between the above-mentioned ex.cerned than any body else. Al dame any tremes. For this end he has consulted the

woman in the world, one of these daughters most learned of his acquaintance for the true

rue has certainly the same qualities. You see by form and dimensions of the lequidum,capul, these few hints, Mr. Spectator, what a comand made a hat fit for it.

fortable life I lead. To be still more open and • Your said officer does further represent, free with you, I have been passionately fond that the young divines about town are many of a young lady (whom give me leave to call of them got into the cock military, and de-m

de Miranda) now for these three years. I have sires your instructions therein.

often urged the matter home to my parents • That the town has been for several days!

ays with all the submission of a son, but the invery well behaved, and further your said of- natien

patience of a lover. Pray, sir, tbiak of three ficer saith not.'

T.

years: what inexpresible scenes of inquietude,

what variety of misery must I have gone No. 533.] Tuesday, November 11, 1712. through in three whole years! Miranda's for

tune is equal to those I have mentioned; but Immd duas dabo, inquit ille, una si parum est : her relations are not intimates with mine! Ah! Et si duarum poenitebit, addentur quæ.

Plaut.

there's the rub! Miranda's person, wit, and

humour, are what the picest fancy could imaNay, says he, if one is too little, I will give you two; gine; and, though we know you to be so eleAnd if two will not satisfy you, I will add two moro.

gant a judge of beauty. yet there is none . To the Spectator.

among all your various characters of fine

women preferable to Miranda. In a word, * SIR,

she is never guilty of doing any thing but You have often given us very excellent one amiss, (if she can be thougbt to do amiss discourses against that unnatural custom of by me) in being as blind to my faults, as she parents, in forcing their children to marry is to her own perfections. contrary to their inclinations. My own case,

'I am, Sir, without further preface, I will lay before you,

• Your very humble and leave you to judge of it. My father and

obedient servant, mother, both being in declining years, would

• DUSTERERASTUS.' fain see me, their eldest son, as they call it, settled. I am as much for that as they can 'MR. SPECTATOR, be: but I must be settled, it seems, not ac. When you spent so much time as you did cording to my own, but their liking. Upon lately in censuring the ambitious young genthis account I am teazed every day, because I tlemen who ride in triumph through town and have not yet fallen into love, in spite of nature, country on coach-boxes, I wish you had em with one of a neighbouring gentleman's ployed those moments in consideration of daughters ; for, out of their abundant genero- what passes sometimes within-side of those sity, they give me the choice of four. "Jack,” vehicles. I am sure I suffered sufficiently by begins my father. “Mrs. Catherine is a fine the insolence and ill-breeding of some perwoman."-"Yes, sir, but she is rather too sons who travelled lately with me in the stage old.”-“She will make the muore discreet ma-lcoach out of Essex to London. I am sure, nager, boy.” Then my mother plays her part. when you have heard what I have to say, you * Is not Mrs. Betty exceeding fair ?! "Yes, will think there are persons under the cha: madam, but she is of no conversation : she racter of gentlemen, that are fit to be no where has no fire, no agreeable vivacity : she neither lelse but on the coach-box. Sir, I am a young speaks nor looks with spirit.''—" True, son, woman of a sober and religious education, but for those very reasons she will be an easy, and have preserved that character; but on

Monday was fortnight, it was my misfortune pany in confusion. Sir, I know you hate to come to London. I was no sooner dlapped long things; but if you like it, you may coninto the coach, but, to my great surprise, tract it, or how you will ; but I think it has a two persons in the habit of gentleinen at- moral in it. tacked me with such indecent discourse as I · But, sir, I am told you are a famous mecannot repeat to you, so you may conclude chanic as well as a looker-on, and therefore not fit for me to hear. I had no relief but humbly propose you would invent some pad. the hopes of a speedy end of my short jour-lock, with full power under your hand and ney. Sir, form to yourself what a persecu- seal, for all modest persons, either men or tion this must needs be to a virtuons and women, to clap upon the mouths of all such chaste mind; and, in order to your proper impertinent impudent fellows: and I wish you handling such a subject, fancy your wife or would publish a proclamation, that no modest daughter, if you had any, in such circum-person who has a value for her countenance, stances, and what treatment you would then and consequently would not be put out of it, think due to such dragoons. One of them was presume to travel after such a day without one called a captain, and entertained us with of them in their pockets. I fancy a smart nothing but filthy stupid questions, or lewd Spectator upon this subject would serve for songs, all the way. Ready to burst with such a padlock; and that public notice may shame and indignation, I repined that nature be given in your paper where they may be had not allowed us as easily to shut our ears had, with directions, price two-pence; and as our eyes. But was not this a kind of rape ? that part of the directions may be, when any Why should there be accessaries in ravish-person presuines to be guilty of the abovement any more than murder ? Why should mentioned crime, the party aggrieved may not every contributor to the abuse of chastity produce it to his face, with a request to read suffer death? I am sure these shameless hell. it to the company. He must be very much hounds* deserved it highly. Can you exert hardened that could outface that rebuke; yourself better than on such an occasion 1 and his further punishment I leave you to if you do not do it effectually, I will read no prescribe. more of your papers. Has every impertinent

Your humble servant, fellow a privilege to torment me, who pay my T.

'PENANCE CRUEL.' coach-hire as well as he? Sir, pray consider us in this respect as the weakest sex, who have nothing to defend ourselves; and I think No. 534.] Wednesday, November 12, 1712. it is as gentleman-like to challenge a woman Rarus enim fermè sensus communis in illa to fight as to talk obscenely in her company, Fortuna especially wben she has not power to stir.

Jur. Sat. viii. 73. Pray let me tell you a story which you can

We seldom find make fit for public view. I knew a gentle

Much sense with an exalted fortune join'd.

Stepney. man who, having a very good opinion of the gentlemen of the army, invited ten or twelve 'MR. SPECTATOR, of them to sup with him; and at the same "I Am a young woman of nineteen, the only time invited two or three friends who were daughter of very wealthy pare: is, and have very severe against the manners and morals my whole life been used with a tenderness of gentlemen of that profession. It happened which did me no great service i 1 my educaone of them brought two captains of his re- tion. I have perhaps an uncommon desire giinent newly come into the army, who at the for knowledge of what is suitable to my sex first onset engaged the company with very and quality ; but, as far as I can remember, lewd healths and suitable discourse. You the whole dispute about me has been, whether may easily imagine the confusion of the en- such a thing was proper for the child to do, or tertainer, who finding some of his friends not? or whether such or such a food was the very uneasy, desired to tell them the story of more wholesome for the young lady to eat ? a great man, one Mr. Locke, (whom I find This was ill for iny shape, that for my comyou frequently mention) that being invited to plexion, and the other for my eyes. I am not dinc with the then lords Halifax, Anglesey, extravagant when I tell you, I do not know and Shaftsbury, immediately after dinner, that I have trod upon the very earth ever since instead of conversation, the cards were called I was ten years old. A coach or chair I am for, where the bad or good success produced obliged to for all my motions from one place the usual passions of gaming Mr. Locke, to another ever since I can remember. All retiring to a window, and writing, my lord who had to do to instruct me, have ever been Anglesey desired to know what he was wri- bringing stories of the notable things I have ting: "Why, my lords," answered he, “I said, and the womanly manner of my behaving could not sleep last night for the pleasure and myself upon such and such an occasion. This improvement I expected from the conversa- has been my state until I came towards years tion of the greatest men of the age.” This of womanhood : and ever since I grew toso sensibly stung them, that they gladly com- wards the age of fifteen I have been abused pounded to throw their cards in the fire, if he after another manner. Now, forsooth, I am so would bis paper, and so a conversation en- killing, no one can safely speak to me. Our sued fit for such persons. This story pressed house is frequented by men of sense, and I love so hard upon the young captains, together to ask questions when I fall into such converwith the concurrence of their superior of station ; but I am cut short with something ficers, that the young fellows left the com-'or other about my bright eyes. There is, sil"

vemba

Monday was fortnight, it was my misfortune pany in confusion. Sir, I know you hate to come to London. I was no sooner dapped long things; but if you like it, you may coninto the coach, but, to my great surprise, tract it, or how you will ; but I think it has a two persons in the habit of gentleinen at- moral in it. tacked me with such indecent discourse as I · But, sir, I am told you are a famous mecannot repeat to you, so you may conclude chanic as well as a looker-on, and therefore not fit for me to hear. I had no relief but humbly propose you would invent some padthe hopes of a speedy end of my short jour- lock, with full power under your hand and ney. Sir, form to yourself what a persecu- seal, for all modest persons, either men or tion this must needs be to a virtuons and women, to clap upon the mouths of all such chaste mind; and, in order to your proper impertinent impudent fellows: and I wish you handling such a subject, fancy your wife or would publish a proclamation, that no modest daug bter, if you had any, in such circum- person who has a value for her countenance, stances, and what treatment you would then and consequently would not be put out of it, think due to such dragoons. One of them was presume to travel after such a day without one called a captain, and entertained us with of them in their pockets. I fancy a smart nothing but filthy stupid questions, or lewd Spectator upon this subject would serve for songs, all the way. Ready to burst with such a padlock; and that public notice may shame and indignation, I repined that nature be given in your paper where they may be had not allowed us as easily to shut our ears had, with directions, price two-pence; and as our eyes. But was not this a kind of rape ? that part of the directions may be, when any Why should there be accessaries in ravish-person presuines to be guilty of the abovement any more than murder ? Why should mentioned crime, the party aggrieved may not every contributor to the abuse of chastity produce it to his face, with a request to read suffer death? I am sure these shameless hell- it to the company. He must be very much hounds deserved it highly. Can you exert hardened that could outface that rebuke; yourself better than on such an occasion ? and his further punishment I leave you to If you do not do it effectually, I will read no prescribe. more of your papers. Has every impertinent

* Your humble servant, fellow a privilege to torment me, who pay my

* PENANCE CRUEL.' coach-bire as well as he ? Sir, pray consider us in this respect as the weakest sex, who

712. have nothing to defend ourselves; and I think it is as gentleman-like to challenge a woman Rarus enim fermè sensus communis in illâ to fight as to talk obscenely in her company, Fortuna especially when she has not power to stir.

Juv. Sat. viii. 73, Pray let me tell you a story which you can

- We seldom find make fit for public view. I knew a gentle

Much sense with an exalted fortune join'd.

Stepney. man who, having a very good opinion of the gentlemen of the army, invited ten or twelve

• MR. SPECTATOR, of them to sup with him; and at the same "I Am a young woman of nineteen, the only time invited two or three friends who were daughter of very wealthy pare: is, and have very severe against the manners and morals my whole life been used with a tenderness of gentlemen of that profession. It happened which did me no great service i 1 my educaone of them brought two captains of his re- tion. I have perhaps an uncommon desire giinent newly come into the army, who at the for knowledge of what is suitable to my sex first onset engaged the company with very and quality; but, as far as I can remember, lewd healths and suitable discourse. You the whole dispute about me has been, whether may easily imagine the confusion of the en- such a thing was proper for the child to do, or tertainer, who finding some of his friends not? or whether such or such a food was the very uneasy, desired to tell them the story of more wholesome for the young lady to eat ? a great man, one Mr. Locke, (whom I find This was ill for iny shape, that for my comyou frequently mention) that being invited to plexion, and the other for my eyes. I am not dine with the then lords Halifax, Anglesey, extravagant when I tell you, I do not know and Shaftsbury, immediately after dinner, that I have trod upon the very earth ever since instead of conversation, the cards were called I was ten years old. A coach or chair I am for, where the bad or good success produced obliged to for all my motions from one place the usual passions of gaming. Mr. Locke, to another ever since I can remember. All retiring to a window, and writing, my lord who had to do to instruct me, have ever been Anglesey desired to know what he was wri- bringing stories of the notable things I have ting: "Why, my lords," answered he, “ I said, and the womanly manner of my behaving could not sleep last night for the pleasure and myself upon such and such an occasion. This improvement I expected from the conversa- has been my state until I came towards years tion of the greatest men of the age.” This of womanhood : and ever since I grew toso sensibly stung them, that they gladly com- wards the age of fifteen I have been abused pounded to throw their cards in the fire, if he after another manner. Now, forsooth, I am so would his paper, and so a conversation en killing, no one can safely speak to me. Our sued fit for such persons. This story pressed house is frequented by men of sense, and I love so hard upon the young captains, together to ask questions when I fall into such converwith the concurrence of their superior of- station ; but I am cut short with something ficers, that the young fellows left the com-'or other about my bright eyes. There is, sir

that moving centries may be appointed all the overlook the goods of fortune which are near busy hours of the day between the Exchange them, for something that glitters in the sight and Westminster, and report what passes to at a distance ; to neglect solid and substanyour honour, or your subordinate officers. tial happiness, for what is showy and superfrom time to time.

ficial ; and to contemn that good which lies

within their reach, for that which they are Ordered,

not capable of attaining. Hope calculates its That Mr. Sly name the said officers, pro- schemes for a long and durable life; precvided he will answer for their principles and ses forward to imaginary points of bliss ; inorals.

T. grasps at impossibilities ; and consequently

very often ensnares men into beggary, ruin,

and dishonour. No. 535.] Thursday November 13, 1712. What I have here said may serve as a moral

to an Arabian fable, which I find translated Spem longam resoces.Hur. Od. xi. Lib. 1. 7.

into French by monsieur Galland The fablo

has in it such a wild but natural simplicity, that Cut short vain hope.

I question not but my reader will be as much My four hundred and seventy-first specula- pleased with it as I have been, and that he tion turned upon the subject of hope in will consider himself, if he reflects on the sev. general. I design this paper as a speculation eral amusements of hope which have someupon that vain and foolish hope, which is mis- times passed in his mind, as a near relation to employed on temporal objects, and produces the Persian glassman. many sorrows and calamities in human life. Alnaschar, says the fable, was a very idle

It is a precept several times inculcated by fellow, that never would set his hand to any Horace that we should not entertain a hope business during his father's life When his of any thing in life, which lies at a great dis- father died, he left him to the value of an tance from us. The shortness and uncertain- hundred drachmas in Persian money. Alnasty of our time here makes such a kind of char, in order to make the best of it, laid it hope unreasonable and absurd. The grave out in glasses, bottles, and the finest earthenlies unseen between us and the object which ware. These he piled up in a large open bagwe reach after. Where one man lives to en-ket, and, having made choice of a very little joy the good he has in view, 'ten thousand are shop, placed the basket at his feet; and leaned cut off in the pursuit of it.

his back upon the wall, in expectation of cusIt happens likewise unluckily, that one hope tomers. As he sat in this posture, with his no sooner dies in us but another rises up in eyes upon the basket, he fell into a most amusits stead. We are apt to fancy that we shalling train of thought, and was overheard by be happy and satisfied if we possess our one of his neighbours, as he talked to himself selves of such and such particular enjoyments; in the following manner : “ This basket,' says but either by reason of their emptiness, or he, • cost me at the wholesale merchant's an the natural inquietude of the mind, we have hundred drachmas, which is all I have in the no sooner gained one point, but we extend our world. I shall quickly make two hundred of hopes to another. We still find new inviting it, by selling it in retail. These two hundred scenes and landscapes lying behind those which drachmas will in a very little while rise to four at a distance terminated our view.

hundred, which of course will amount in time The natural consequences of such reflec- to four thousand Four thousand drachmas tions are these; that we should take care not cannot fail of making eight thousand. As soon to let our hopes run out into too great a length; as by these means I am master of ten thouthat we should sufficiently weigh the objects sand, I will lay aside my trade of a glassman, of our hope, whether they be such as we nay and turn jeweller. I shall then deal in diareasonably expect from them what we pro-monds, pearls, and all sorts of rich stones. pose in their fruition, and whether they are When I have got together as much wealth as such as we are pretty sure of attaining, in case I well can desire, I will make a purchase of our life extend itself so far. If we hope for the finest house I can find, with lands, slaves, things which are at too great a distance from eunuchs, and horses. I shall then begin to us, it is possible that we may be intercepted by enjoy myself and make a noise in the world. I death in our progress towards them. If we hope will not however stop there, but still continue for things which we have not thoroughly consi- my traffic, until I have got together a hundred dered the value of, our disappointment will be thousand drachmas. When I have thus made greater than our pleasure in the fruition of them. myself master of a hundred thousand drachmas, If we hope for what we are not likely to pos. I shall naturally set myself on the foot of a sess, we act and think in vain, and make life a prince, and will demand the grand visier's greater dream and shadow than it really is. daughter in marriage, after having represented

Many of the miseries and misfortunes of to that minister the information which I have lise proceed from our want of consideration, received of the beauty, wit, discretion, and in one or all of these particulars. They are other high qualities which his daughter posthe rocks on which the sanguine tribe of lovers sesses. I will let him know, at the same time, daily split, and on which the bankrupt, the that it is my intention to make bim a present politician, the alchymist, and projector, are of a thousand pieces of gold on our marriage politician, the alchymist, and projector, cast away in every age. Men of warm imagi- night.

nichts soon as I have marrried the graud nations and towering thoughts are ant to visier's daughter, I will buy her ten black VOL. II.

37

[ocr errors]

that moving centries may be appointed all the overlook the goods of fortune which are bear busy hours of the day between the Exchange them, for something that glitters in the sight and Westminster, and report what passes to at a distance; to neglect solid and substanyour honour, or your subordinate officers. tial happiness, for what is showy and superfrom time to time.

ficial; and to contemn that good which lies

within their reach, for that which they are Ordered,

not capable of attaining. Hope calculates its That Mr. Sly name the said officers, pro-schemes for a long and durable life; presvided he will answer for their principles and ses forward to imaginary points of bliss ; morals.

grasps at impossibilities; and consequently very often ensnares men into beggary, ruin,

and dishonour. No. 535.] Thursday November 13, 1712. What'I have here said may serve as a moral Spem longam reseces.

to an Arabian fable, which I find translated Hor. Od. xi. Lib. 1. 7.

into French by monsieur Galland The fablo

has in it such a wild but natural simplicity, that Cat short vain hope.

I question not but my reader will be as much My four hundred and seventy-first specula- pleased with it as I have been, and that he tion turned upon the subject of hope in will consider himself, if he reflects on the sev. general. I design this paper as a speculation eral amusements of hope which have someupon that vain and foolish hope, which is mis- times passed in his mind, as a near relation to employed on temporal objects, apd produces the Persian glassman. many sorrows and calamities in human life. Alnaschar, says the fable, was a very idle

It is a precept several times inculcated by fellow, that never would set his hand to any Horace that we should not entertain a hope business during his father's life When bis of any thing in life, which lies at a great dis- father died, he left him to the value of an tance from us. The shortness and uncertain-hundred drachmas in Persian money. Alnasty of our time here makes such a kind of char, in order to make the best of it, laid it hope unreasonable and absurd. The grave out in glasses, bottles, and the finest earthenlies unseen between us and the object which ware. These he piled up in a large open baswe reach after. Where one man lives to en- ket, and, having made choice of a very little joy the good he has in view, ten thousand are shop, placed the basket at his feet; and leaned cut off in the pursuit of it.

his back upon the wall, in expectation of cusIt happens likewise unluckily, that one hope tomers. As he sat in this posture, with his no sooner dies in us but another rises up in eyes upon the basket, he fell into a most amusits stead. We are apt to fancy that we shalling train of thought, and was overheard by be happy and satisfied if we possess our one of his neighbours, as he talked to himself selves of such and such particular enjoyments; in the following manner: This basket,' says but either by reason of their emptiness, or he, • cost me at the wholesale merchant's an the natural inquietude of the mind, we have hundred drachmas, which is all I have in the no sooner gained one point, but we extend our world. I shall quickly make two hundred of hopes to another. We still find new inviting it, by selling it in retail. These two hundred scenes and landscapes lying behind those which drachmas will in a very little while rise to four at a distance terminated our view.

hundred, which of course will amount in time The natural consequences of such reflec- to four thousand Four thousand drachmas tions are these; that we should take care not cannot fail of making eight thousand. As soon to let our hopes run out into too great a length; as by these means I am master of ten thouthat we should sufficiently weigh the objects sand, I will lay aside my trade of a glassman, of our hope, whether they be such as we nay and turn jeweller. I shall then deal in diareasonably expect from them what we pro monds, pearls, and all sorts of rich stones. pose in their fruition, and whether they are When I have got together as much wealth as such as we are pretty sure of attaining, in case I well can desire, I will make a purchase of our life extend itself so far. If we hope for the finest house I can find, with lands, slaves, things which are at too great a distance from eunuchs, and horses. I shall then begin to us, it is possible that we may be intercepted by enjoy myself and make a noise in the world. I death in our progress towards them. If we hope will not however stop there, but still continue for things which we have not thoroughly consi- my traffic, until I have got together a hundred dered the value of, our disappointment will be thousand drachmas. When I have thus made greater than our pleasure in the fruition of them. myself master of a hundred thousand drachmas, If we hope for what we are not likely to pos- I shall naturally set myself on the foot of a sess, we act and think in vain, and make life a prince, and will demand the grand visier's greater dream and shadow than it really is. daughter in marriage, after having represented

Many of the miseries and misfortunes of to that minister the information which I have life proceed from our want of consideration, received of the beauty, wit, discretion, and in one or all of these particulars. They are other high qualities which his daughter posthe rocks on which the sanguine tribe of lovers sesses. I will let him know, at the same time, daily split, and on which the bankrupt, the that it is my intention to make bim a present politician, the alchymist, and projector, are of a thousand pieces of gold on our marriage cast away in every age. Men of warm imagi- night. As soon as I have marrried the grand nations and towering thoughts are apt to visier's daughter, I will buy her ten black VOL. II.

37

« AnteriorContinuar »