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observations of all sorts of persons, according Stir not a pulse; and let my Blood,
That turbulent, unruly tuoi, to their quality, age, sex, education, professions,
Be softly staid : humours, manners, and conditions, &c. shall
Let me be all, but my attention dead."; be set out by themselves in the clearest and most genuine light, and as they themselves The whole city of Venice is as still when I am would wish to have them appear to the world. singing as this polite hearer was to Mrs. Hunt.
The thesis proposed for the present exercise | But when they break that silence, did you of the adventurers to write Spectators, is Mo- know the pleasure I am in, when every man ney ; on which subject all persons are desired utters his applauses, by calling me aloud, to send in their thoughts within ten days after" The Dear Creature! The Angel! The Ve. the date hereof.
T. nus! What attitudes she moves with! Hush,
she sings again!" We have no boisterous
wits who dare disturb an audience, and break No. 443.] Tuesday, July, 29, 1712.
the public peace merely to show they dare.
Mr. Spectator, I write this to you thus in haste, Sublatam ex oculis quærimus invidi. Hor. Od. xxiv. Lib. 3. 33. to tell you I am so very much at ease here,
that I know nothing but joy; and I will not Snatch'd from our sight, we eagerly pursue, And fondly would recall her to our view.
return, but leave you in England to hiss all
merit of your own growth off the stage. I Camille* to the Spectator.
know, sir, you were always my admirer, and 'MR. SPECTATOR, Venice, July 10, n. s. therefore I am yours,
CAMILLA. 'I PAKE it extremely ill, that you do not P. S. I am ten times better dressed than reckon conspicuous persons of your nation are
elever I was in England.' within your cognizance, though out of the do-19 minions of Great Britain. I little thought, in
L 'MR. SPECTATOR, the green years of my life, that I should ever 'The project in yours of the flat instant. call it an happiness to be out of dear Eugland i lof further
r England ;Jof furthering the correspondence and knowbut as I grew to woman, I found myself less ledge of that considerable part of mankind, the acceptable in proportion to the increase of my ltrading world, cannot but be highly commend. merit. Their ears in Italy are so differently lable. Good lectures to young traders may have formed from the make of yours in England,
very good effects on their conduct; but beware that I never come upon the stage, but a gene
you propagate no false notions of trade : ler ral satisfaction appears in every countenance
none of your correspondents impose on the of the whole people. When I dwell upon a
world by putting forth base methods in a good note. I behold all the men accompanying me light, and glazing them over with improper with heads inclining, and falling of their per
terms. I would have no means of profit set sons on one side, as dying away with me. The for
for copies to others, but such as are laudable women too do justice to my merit, and no ill
in themselves. Let not noise be called indusnatured worthless creature cries, " The vain
try, nor impudence courage. Let not good thing," when I am wrapt in the performance of
fortune be imposed on the world for good mamy part, and sensibly touched with the effect
nagement, nor poverty be called folly : inpute my voice has upon all who hear me. I live
not always bankruptcy to extravagance, nor here distinguished as one whom nature has
S an estate to foresight. Niggardliness is not been liberal to in a graceful person, and ex
good husbandry, vor generosity profusion. alted mein, and heavenly voice. These par. Honestus is a well-ineaning and judicious ticularities in this strange country are argu-trader, hath substantial goods, and trades with ments for respect and gencrosity to her who is this ou
is his own stock, husbands his money to the best possessed of them. The Italians see a thou-lid
advantage, without taking all the advantages sand beauties I am sensible I have no pretence of the necessities of his workmen, or grinding to, and abundantly make up to me the injus- the face of the poor. Fortunatus is stocked tice I received in my own country, of disallow
with ignorance, and consequently with selfing me what I really had. The humour of his
opinion ; the quality of his goods cannot but sing which you have among you, I do not know
be suitable to that of his judgment. Honestus any thing of ; and their applauses are uttered
pleases discerning people, and keeps their cusin sighs, and bearing a part at the cadences of
tom by good usage ; makes modest profit by voice with the persons who are performing. I
modest means, to the decent support of his am often put in mind of those complaisant lines
fainily; while Fortunatus, blustering always, of my own countryman,t when he is calling pushes on, promising much and performing all his faculties together to hear Arabella.
little ; with obsequiousness offensive to people "Let all be hushed, each softest motion cease, of sense, strikes at all, catches much the great
Be ev'ry loud tumultuous thought at peace; er part, and raises a considerable fortune by
imposition on others, to the discouragement
and ruin of those who trade fair in the same Thou restless wanderer, my heart,
way. Be suill; ah! gently leave,
I I give here but loose hints, and beg you to Thou busy, idle thing to heave :
be very circumspect in the province you have
now undertaken : if you perform it success * Mrs. Tofts, who played the part of Camilla in the fully, it will be a very great good ; for nothing opera of that name.
is more wanting than that mechanic industry + Mr. Congreve.
were set forth with the freedom and greatness Vou. II,
of mind which ought always to accompany a French disease, by a gentleman just come from man of a liberal education.
his travels. . Your humble servant,' 'lo Russel-court, over-against the Cannon From my shop under
| ball, at the Surgeon's-arms, in Drury-lane, is the Royal Exchange, July 14. R. C. lately come from bis travels, a surgeon who
hath practised surgery and physic both by sea 'mr. spectator, July 24, 1712.
and lavd, these twenty-four years. He (by the Notwithstanding the repeated censures that blessing) cures the yellow jaundice, green-sickyour spectatorial wisdom has passed upon ness, scurvy, dropsy, surfeits, long sea-voyages, people more remarkable for impudence than campaigns, and women's miscarriages, lyingwit, there are yet some remaining, who pass in, &c. as some people that has been lame with the giddy part of mankind for sufficient these thirty years can testify; in short he cursharers of the latter, who have nothing but the eth all diseases incident to men, women or chiltormer qualification to recommend them. Ano-ldren. iher timely animadversion is absolutely neces. If a man could be so indolent as to look upon sary : be pleased, therefore, once for all, to let this havoc of the human species, which is made these gentlemen know, that there is neither by vice and ignorance, it would be a good ri. mirth nor good humour in hooting a young tel-diculous work to comment upon the declaralow out of countenance ; nor that it will ever tion of this accomplished traveller. There is constitute a wit, to conclude a tart piece of something unaccountably taking among the bufioonery with a “ What makes you blush! vulgar in those who come from a great way off. Pray please to inform them again, that to speak Ignorant people of quality, as many there are what they know is shocking, proceeds from all of such, soat excessively this way ; many innature and sterility of brain ; especially when Istances of which every man will suggest to him the subject will not admit of raillery, and their self, without any enumeration of them. The discourse has no pretension to satire but what ignorants of lower order, who cannot, like the is in their design to disoblige. I should be
upper ones, be profuse of their money to those very glad too if you would take notice, that a
recommended by coming from a distance, are daily repetition of the same overbearing inso- no less complaisant than the others, for they lence is yet more insupportable, and a conar-| venture their lives from the same admiration. mation of very extraordinary dulness. The • The doctor is lately come from his travels,' sudden publication of this may have an effect and has · practised both by sea and land,' and upon a notorious offender of this kind, whose therefore cures the green-sickness, long seareformation would redound very much to the
voyages, campaigns, and lyings-in. Both by satisfaction and quiet of
sca and land!-I will not answer for the dis• Your most humble servant,'
tempers called sea-voyages and campaigns; but 'F. B.'
I dare say those of green sickness and lying-in might be as well taken care of if the doctor
staid ashore. But the art of managing manNo. 444.] Wednesday, July 30, 1712.
kind is only to make them stare a little, to Paluriuot montes
keep up their astonishment, to let nothing he lor. Ars Poet. v. 139.
raniliar to them, but ever have something in The mountain labours.
their sleeve, in which they must think you are
deeper than they are. There is an ingenious l'e gives me much despair in the design of fell
gh or fellow, a barber of my acquaintance, who, bercforming the world by my speculations, when sides his broken fiddle and a dried sea-monI find there always arise, from one generation ster, has a twined-cord, strained with two pails to another, successive cheats and bubbles, as
les, as at each end, over his window, and the words naturally as beasts of prey, and those which rainy, dry. wet.' and so forth, written to denote are to be their food. There is hardly a man the weather according to the rising or falling in the world, one would think, so ignorant, as of the cord. We very great scholars are not not to know that the ordinary quack-doctors'
ctors apt to wonder at this : but I observed a very who publish their great abilities in little brown honest fellow, a chance customer, who sat in billets, distributed to all that pass by are to a the chair before me to be shaved, fix his eye man impostors and murderers; yet such is the
upon this miraculous performance during the credulity of the vulgar, and the impudence of
ace of operation upon his cbin and face. When those tlose professors, ibat the affair still goes on, land his head also were cleared of all incumand new promises, of what was never done be
e be-brances and excrescences, he looked at the fish, fore, are made every day. What aggravates then at the fiddle, still grubbing in his pockthe jest is, that even this promise has been late and aetin
een ets, and casting his eye again at the twine, and
bie evan made as long as the memory of man can trace
ce the words writ on each side; then altered his it. yet nothing performed, and yet still prevails.
18. mind as to furthings, and gave my friend a silAs I was passing along to-day, a paper givenver sinance The business as I said, is to keep
ver sixpence. The business, as I said, is to keep into my hand by a fellow without a nose, tells
up the amazement; and if my friend had liad us as follows what good news is come to towo,
only the skeleton and kit, he inust have been to wit, that there is now a certain cure for the
contented with a less payment. But the doctor
we were talking of adds to his long voyages * Forper motto. .
the testimony of some people that has been cluid dignum fento feret itic promissor diatu-Hor. Ithirty years lame.' When I received my paGreat cry wid ligile no. Eurplish Provert. per, a sagacious feliow took one at the same
time, and read till he came to the thirty years' will make its way in the world but very hea. confinement of his friends, and went off very vily. In short, the necessity of carrying a well convinced of the doctor's sufficiency. stamp, and the improbability of notifying a You have many of those prodigious persons, bloody battle, will, I am afraid, both concur who have had some extraordinary accident to the sinking of those thin folios, which have at their birth, or a great disaster in some every other day detailed to us the history of part of their lives. Any thing, however for Europe for several years last past. A face. eign from the business the people want of tious friend of mine, who loves a pun, calls this ot you, will convince them of your ability present mortality among authors, 'The fall in that you profess. There is a doctor in of the leaf.' Mouse-alley, near Wapping, who sets up for I remember, upon Mr. Baxter's death, there curing cataracts, upon the credit of having, was published a sheet of very good sayings, in. as his bill sets forth, lost an eye in the em- scribed, “The last words of Mr. Baxter.' The peror's service. His patients come in upon title sold so great a number of these papers, this, and he shows his muster-roll, which conthat about a week after there came out a se, firms that he was in his imperial majesty's cond sheet, inscribed, More last words of troops ; and he puts out their eyes with great Mr. Baxter.' In the same manner I have success. Who would believe that a man reason to think, that several ingenious wrishould be a doctor for the cure of barsten ters, who have taken their leave of the pubchildren, by declaring that his father and lic, in farewell papers, will not give over so, grandfather were both bursten ? But Charles but intend to appear again, though perhaps Ingolison, next door to the Harp in Barbi- under another forin, and with a different title. can, bas made a pretty penny by that as. Be that as it will, it is my business, in this servation. The generality go upon their first place, to give an account of my own intenconception, and think no further ; all the tions, and to acquaint my reader with the mo. rest is granted. They take it, that there is tives by which I act, in this great crisis of the something uncommon in you, and give you republic of letters. credit for the rest. You may be sure it is I have been long debating in my own heart, upon that I go, when sometimes, let it be to whether I should throw up my pen as an au. the purpose or not, I keep a Latin sentence thor that is cashiered by the act of parliament in my front; and I was not a little pleased, which is to operate within this four and twen. when I observed one of my readers say, cast. ly hours, or whether I should still persist in ing his eye upon my twentieth paper, . More- laying my speculations, from day to day, beLatin still? What a prodigious scholar is fore the public. The argument which prethis man !' But as I have taken much li- vails with me most on the first side of the berty with this learned doctor, I must make question is, that I am informed by my book: up all I have said by repeating what he seller he must raise the price of every sin, seems to be in earnest in, and honestly pro- gle paper to two-pence, or that he shall not mises to those who will not receive him as be able to pay the duty of it. Now as I a great man-to wit, "That from eight to am very desirous my readers should have twelve, and from two to six, he attends, for their learning as cheap as possible, it is with the good of the public, to bleed for three great difficulty that I comply with him in this pence.'
However, upon laying my reasons together in the balance, I find that those who plead
for the continuance of this work, have much No. 445.] Thursday, July 31, 1712.
the greater weight. For, in the first place, ia
recompense for the expense to which this will Tanti nou es, ais. Sapis, Liiperce.
put my readers, it is to be hoped they may reMart. Epig. 118. 1. 1. v. alt.
ceive from every paper so much instruction as Yon say, Lapercus, what I write
I will be a very good equivalent. And, in order I'n't worth so much : you're in the right.
to this, I would not advise any one to take it
in, who, after the perusal of it, does not find This is the day on which many eminent au- himself two-pence the wiser or the better man thors will probably publish their last words. I for it, or who, upon examination, does not be. I am afraid that few of our weekly historians,lieve that he has had two-pendy worth of mirth who are men that above all others delight in or instruction for his money. war, will be able to subsist under the weight But I must confess there is another moof a stamp,* and an approaching peace. A tive which prevails with me more than the sheet of blank paper that must have this new former. I consider that the tax on paper was imprimatur clapt upon it, before it is quali- given for the support of the government; and, fied to communicate any thing to the public, as I have enemies who are apt to pervert eve.
Try thing I do or say, I fear they would ascribe August 1, 1712, the stamp duty here alluded to, took i he laying down my paper, on such an occaplace, and every single half-sheet paid a hlaf-penny to sion, to a spirit of malcontentedness, which I the quera. Have you seen the red stamp? Methinks am resolved none shall ever justly upbraid me the camping is worth a half-penny. The Oliservator is, with. No, I shall glory in contributing my utfallen; the Medleys are jumbled together with he flying Post; the examiner is deadly sick. The Spectator keeps
most to the public weal; and, if my country up and doubles its price.'
receives five or six pounds a day by my laScoift's Works, cr. 8vo. vol. xix. p. 173.
bours, I shall be very well pleased to find mye
self so useful a member. It is a received (No. 446.] Friday, August 1, 1712.
Quid decent. quid pon; quo virtus, quo ferat error.
Hor. Ars Poet. 303. the community in which he lives; and by the
What fit, what not; what excellent, or ill. same rule I think we may pronounce the person
RoscomTROR to deserve yery well of his countrymen, whose labours bring more into the public coffers than SINCE two or three writers of comedy, who into his own pocket..
Jare now living, have taken their farewell of the Since I have mentioned the word enemies, stage, those who succeed them, finding themI must explain myself so far as to acquaint selves incapable of rising up to their wit, huany reader, that I mean only the insignificant mour, and good-sense, have only imitated them party zealots on both sides ; men of such poor in some of those loose unguarded strokes, in parrow souls, that they are not capable of which they complied with the corrupt taste thinking on any thing but with an eye to whig of the more vicious part of their audience. or tory. During the course of this paper, 1 When persons of a low genius attempt this have been accused by these despicable wretch- kind of writing, they know no difference bees of trimming, time-serving, personal reflec-tween being merry and being lewd. It is tion, secret satire, and the like. Now, though with an eye to some of these degenerate comin these my compositions it is visible to any positions that I have written the following dis reader of common sense that I consider no-course. thing but my subject, which is always of an Were our English stage but half so virtuous Indifferent uature, how it is possible for me as that of the Greeks or Romans, we should to write so clear of party, as not to lie quickly see the influence of it in the behaviour open to the censures of those who will be of all the politer part of mankind. It would applying every sentence, and finding out not be fashionable to ridicule religion, or its persons and things in it, wbich it has no re- professors; the man of pleasure would not be gard to?
the complete gentleman; vanity would be out Several paltry scribblers and declaimers of countenance; and every quality which is have done me the honour to be dull upon ornamental to human nature would meet with mne in reflections of this nature ; but, not that esteem which is due to it. withstanding my name has been sometimes If the English stage were under the same retraduced by this contemptible tribe of men, gulations the Athenian was forinerly, it would I have hitherto avoided all animadversions have the same effect that had, in recommend upon them. The truth of it is, I am afraid ing the religion, the government, and public of making them appear considerable by tak-worship of its country. Were our plays subjug notice of them ; for they are like those ject to proper inspections and limitations, we imperceptible insects which are discovered might not only pass away several of our vaby the microscope, and cannot be made the cant hours in the highest entertainments, but subject of observation without being magni- should always rise from them wiser and better fied.
than we sat down to them. Having mentioned those few who have shown It is one of ihe most unaccountable things in themselves the enemies of this paper I should our age, that the lewdness of our theatre should be very ungrateful to the public, did I not at be so much complained of, so well exposed, the same time testify my gratitude to those and so little redressed. It is to be hoped, that who are its friends, in which number I may some time or other we may be at leisure to peckon many of the most distinguished persons, restrain the licentiousness of the theatre, and of all conditions, parties, and professions, in make it contribute its assistance to the adthe isle of Great Britain. I am not so vain as vancement of morality, and to the reformato think approbation is so much due to the tion of the age. As matters stand ai preperformance as to the design. There is, aud sent, multitudes are shut out from this noever will be, justice enough in the world to ble diversion, by reason of those abuses and afford patronage and protection for those who corruptions that accompany it. A father is endeavour to advance truth and virtue, with-often afraid that his daughter should be ruined out regard to the passions and prejudices of by those entertainments, which were invented any particular cause or faction. If I have any for the accomplishment and refining of human other merit in me it is that I have new pointed nature. The Athenian and Roman plays were all the batteries of ridicule. They have been writen with such a regard to morality, that generally planted against persons who have Socrates used to frequent the one, and Cicero appeared serious rather than absurd : or at the other. þest, bave aimed rather at what is unfashion. It happened once, indeed, that Cato dropable than what is vicious. For my own part, lped into the Roman theatre when the Floralia I have endeavoured to make nothing ridiculous were to be represented :*and as, in that perthat is not in some measure criminal. I have formance, which was a kind of religious cereset up the immoral man as the object of mony, there were several indecent parts to be derision. In short, if I have not formed a acted, the people refused to see them whilst new weapon against vice and irreligion, I| Cato was present. Martial, on this hint, made have at least shown how that weapon may the following epigram, which we must suppose be put to a right use, which has so often was applied to some grave friend of his, that fought the hattles of impiety or profaneness. had been accidentally present at some such
N65See jocose dulce cum sacrum Flora,
1 I have sometimes 'thought of compiling a Festosque lusus, et licentiain vulgi,
system of ethicks out of the writings of those Cur in theatrum, Cato severe, venisti?
3.1. corrupt poets under the title of stage MoralAn ideo tantum veneras, ut exires?
lity. But I have been diverted from this Why dost thou come, greut censor of thy age, thought by a project which has been executed To see the loose diversions of the stage ?
by an ingenious gentleman of my acquaintWith swful countenance, and brow severe,
ance. He has composed, it seems, the history What in the name of goodness dost thou here? See the mixt crowd: how giddy, lewd, and vain!
of a young fellow who has taken all his notions Didst thou come iu but to go out again?
of the world from the stage, and who bas di
rected himself in every circumstance of his An accident of this nature might happen life and conversation, by the maxims and exonce in an age among the Greeks and Romans; lamples of the fine gentleman in English comebut they were too wise and good to let the con- dies. f I can prevail upon him to give me a stant pightly entertainment be of such a na-copy of this new-fashioned novel, I will beture, that people of the most sense and virtuestow on it a place in my works, and question could not be at it. Whatever vices are repre-pot but it may have as good an effect upon sented upon the stage, they ought to be so the drama as Don Quixote had upon romance. anarked and branded by the poet, as not to ap
. C. pear either laudable or amiable in the person who is tainted with them. But if we look into the English comedies above-mentioned, we No. 447.] Saturday, August 2, 1712. would think they were formed upon a quite fui comuzeoríny urrétny fuerat, pine ruloty contrary maxim, and that this rule, though it Tútny ayoewTrungo TEM. UT Wody Púca svolt. held good upon the heathen stage, was not to be regarded in christian theatres. There is an- Loug exercise, my friend, inures the mind;
And what we once dislik'd we pleasing find. other rule likewise, which was observed by authors of antiquity; and which these modern THERE is not a common saying which has a geniuses have no regard to, and that was, nev-better turn of sense in it, than what we often er to choose an improper subject for ridicule. I hear in the mouths of the vulgar, that, ' cusNow a subject is improper for ridicule, if it is lt
ject is improper for ridicule, it is tom is a second nature. It is indeed able to apt to stir up horror and commisseration form the man anew, and to give him inclinarather than laughter. For this reason, we do tions and capacities altogether different from not find any comedy, in so polite an author as those he was born with. Dr. Piot, in his HisTerence, raised upon the violations of the mar
of the mar-story of Staffordshire, tells us of an ideot that, riage-bed. The falsehood of the wife or hus-chancing to live within the sound of a clock, band has given occasion to noble tragedies; land always amusing himself with counting but a Scipio and Lelius would have looked the hour of the day whenever the clock struck, upon incest or murder to have been as proper the clock being spoiled by accident, the ideot subjects for comedy. On the contrary cuck- continued to strike and count the hour witholdom is the basis of most of our modern plays. out the help of it, in the same manner as he If an alderman appears upon the stage. you had done when it was entire. Though I dare may be sure it is in order to be cuckolded. An not vouch for the truth of this story, it is husband that is a little grave or elderly gene- very certain that custom has a mechauical rally meets with the same fate, Knights and effect upon the body at the same time that it baronets, country 'squires, and justices of the has a very extraordinary influence upon the quorum, come up to town for no other pur-Imind. pose. I have seen poor Dogget cuckolded I shall in this paper consider one very rein all these capacities. In short, our English markable effect which custom has upon human writers are as frequently severe upon this inno-nature, and which, if rightly observed, may cent unhappy creature, commonly known by lead us into very useful rules of life. What I the name of a cuckold, as the ancient comic shall here take notice of in custom, is its wonwriters were upon an eating parasite, or a vain- derful efficacy in making every thing pleasant glorious soldier.
to us. A person who is addicted to play or At the same time the poet so contrives mat-gaming, though he took but little delight in it ters, that the two criminals are the favourites lat first, by degrees contracts so strong an inof the audience. We sit still, and wish well clination towards it, and gives hiinself up so to them through the whole play, are pleased entirely to it. that it seems the only end of his when they meet with proper opportunities, being. The love of a retired or busy life will and out of humour when they are disappointed. I grow upon a man insensibly, as he is converThe truth of it is, the accomplished gentleman sant in the one or the other, till he is utterly upon the English stage, is the person that is unqualified for relishing that to which he has familiar with other men's wives, and indiffe- been for some time disused.. Nay, a man may rent to his own; as the fine woman is generally smoke, or drink, or take snuff, till he is unable a composition of sprightliness and falsehood to pass away his time without it ; not to menI do not know whether it proceeds from bar- tion how our delight in any particular study, repness of invention, depravation of manners, art, or science, rises and improves, in proporor ignorance of mankind, but I have ofteu won-ltion to the application which we bestow upon dered that our ordinary poets cannot frame to it. Thus, what was at first an exercise bethemselves the idea of a fine man who is not a comes at length an entertainment. Our em whore-master, or a fine woman that is not a ployments are changed into our diversio Jilt.