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'Away! begonc! and give a whirlwind room,
you have lost the first volume; and, to be Or I will blow you up like dust! Avaunt!
short, I will be paid.' 'Sir,' answered the Madness but meanly represents my toil. Eternal discord!
chapinan, 'you are a young man, your book is Fury! revenge! disdain and indignation !
lost; and learn by this little loss to bear much 'Tear my swoľn breast, make way for fire and tempest. greater adversities, which you must expect to My brain is burst, debate and reason quench'd;
meet with.' "Yes, I'll bear when I must, but The storm is up, and my hot bleeding heart Splits with the rack; while passions, like the wind, I have not lost now, for I say you have it, and Rise up to heav'n, and put out all the stars.'
shall pay me.' "Friend, you grow warm ; I Every passionate fellow in town talks half the tell you the book is lost ; and foresee, in the day with as little consistency, and threatens course even of a prosperous life, that you
will meet afflictions to make you mad, if things as ipuch out of his power.
The next disagreeable person to the out- you cannot bear this trifle.' Sir, there is. rageous gentleman, is one of a much lower this case, no ne id of hearing, for you have order of anger, and he is what we commonly
1ų the book.' •I say, sir, I have not the book ; call a peevish fellow. A peevish fellow is one ouy
but your passion will not let you hear enough who has some reason in himself for being out
to be informed that I have it not. Learn reour or has a natural incapacity for designation of yourself to the distresses of this light, and therefore disturbs all who are hap. lie: nay, do not fret and fume; it is my duty pier than himse i with pishes and pshaws, or "
Sr to tell you, that you are of an impatient other well-bred interjections, at every thing spirit, ang
thinor spirit, and an impatient spirit is never withthat is said or done in his presence. There
out woe.' • Was ever any thing like this ?' should be physic mixed in the food of all Yes, sir, there have been many things like which these fellows eat in good company.
this : the loss is but a trifle ; but your temper This degree of anger passes, forsooth, for a
is wanton, and incapable of the least pain ; delicacy of judgment, that won't admit of
of therefore let me advise you, be patient, the book is
or that reason lose being easily pleased; but none above the cha- bo racter of wearing a peevish man's livery ought Yourseli.'
T." to bear with his ill manners. All things among men of sense and condition should pass No. 439.1 Thursday July 24, 1712. the censure, and have the protection of the eye
Hi narrata ferunt aliò: mensuraque ficti of reason.
Crescit ; et auditis aliquid novus adjicit auctor. No man ought to be tolerated in an habitual
Ovid, Met. xij. 57. humour, whim, or particularity of behaviour,
Some tell wbat they have heard, or tales devise ; by any who do not wait upon him for bread.
Each fiction still improved with added lies. Next to the peevish fellow is the snarler. This gentleman deals mightily in what we call the Ovid describes the palace of Fame as siirony; and as those sort of people exert them-tuated in the very centre of the universe, selves most against those below them, you see and perforated with so many windows as gave their humour best in their talk to their ser-her the sight of every thing that was done vants. That is so like you ; You are a fine in the heavens, in the earth, and in the sea. fellow; Thou art the quickest head-piece;' and The structure of it was contrived in so ade the like. One would think the hectoring, the mirable a manner, that it echoed every word storming, the sullen, and all the different spe- which was spoken in the whole compass of cies and subordinations of the angry should be nature ; so that the palace, says the poet, was eured, by knowing they live only as pardoned always filled with a confused hubbub of low, men ; and how pitiful is the condition of being dying sounds, the voices being almost spent only suffered! But I am interrupted by the and worn out before they arrived at this pleasantest scene of anger, and the disappoint-general rendezvous of speeches and whisment of it, that I have ever known, which hap- pers. pened while I was yet writing, and ) overbeard consider courts with the same regard to as I sat in the back-loom at a French book the governments wbich they superintend, as seller's. There came into the shop a very Ovid's palace of Fame with regard to the unilearned man with an erect solemn air; and, verse. The eyes of a watchful minister run though a person of great parts otherwise, slow through the whole people. There is scarce a in understanding any thing which makes against murmur or complaint that does not reach his himself, The composure of the faulty man, ears. They have news-gatherers and intelli. and the whimsical perplexity of him that was gencers distributed into their several walks and justly angry, is perfectly pew. After turning quarters, who bring in their respective quotas, over many volumes, said the seller to the buyer, and make them acquainted with the discourse • Sir, you know I have long asked you to send and conversation of the whole kingdom or comme back the first volume of French sermons Imonwealth where they are employed. The formerly lent you.' “Sir,' said the chapman, wisest of kings, alluding to these invisible and 'I have often looked for it, but cannot find it; unsuspected spies, who are planted by kings it is certainly lost, and I know not to whom I and rulers over their fellow-citizens, as weli sent it, it is so many years ago. Then, sir, | here is the other volume; I'll send you home
* By Steele. See No. 324, ad finem. that, and please to pay for both.' 'My friend,'! replied he, 'canst thou be so senseless as not to. This scene passed in the shop of Mr. Vailland, now or know that one volume is as imperfect in my was (for it is still in remembrance) a volume of Massil
Mr. James Payne, in the Strand; and the subject of it library as in your shop? “Yes, sir, but it is lon's Sermons.
as to those voluntary informers that are buz-state criminals, or those whom he supposed to zing about the ears of a great man, and mak.be engaged together in any evil designs upon ing their court by such secret metbods of in-him, in this duugeon. He had at the same telligence, has given us a very prudent cau- time an apartment over it, where he used to tion :* •Curse not the king, no not in thy apply himself to the funnel, and by that means thought, and curse not the rich in thy bed- overheard every thing that was wbispered in chamber ; for a bird of the air shall carry the the dungeon. I believe one may venture to voice, and that which hath wings shall tell the affirm, that a Cæsar or an Alexander would matter.
have rather died by the treason than have As it is absolutely necessary for rulers to used such disingemuous means for the detecting make use of other people's eyes, they should of it. take particular care to do it in such a manner, A man who in ordinary life is very inquisithat it may not bear too hard on the person tive after every thing which is spoken ill of whose life and conversation are inquired into. nim, passes his tine but very indifferently. He A man who is capable of so intamous a calling is wounded by every arrow that is shot at as that of a spy, is not very much to be relied him, and puts it in the power of every insig. upon. He can have no great ties of honour or nificant enemy to disquiet him. Nay, he will checks of conscience, to restrain him in those skifer from what has been said of him, when covert evidences, where the person accused has it is forgotten by those who said or heard it. no opportunity of vindicating himself. He will For this reason I could never bear one of be more ind istrious to carry that which is ihose officious friends, that would be telling grateful than that which is true. There will every malicious report, every idle censure, be no occasion for him if he does not hear and that passed upon me. The tongue of man is see things worth discovery ; so that he natu- 80 petulant, and his thoughts so variable, that rally intlames every word and circumstance, one should not lay too great a stress upon aggravates what is faulty, perverts what is any present speeches and opinions. Praise good, and misrepresents what is indifferent. and obloquy proceed very frequently out of Nor is it to be doubted but that such igno- the same mouth. upon the same person; and minious wretches let their private passions upon the same occasion. A generous enemy into these their clandestine informations, and will sometimes bestow commendations, as the often wreak their particular spite and ma- dearest friend cannot sometimes refrain from lice against the person whom they are set to speaking ill. The man who is indifferent in watch. It is a pleasant scene enough, which either of these respects, gives his opinion at an Italian author describes between a spy random, and praises or disapproves as he finds and a cardipal who employed him. The himself in bumour. cardinal is represented as minuting down I shall conclude this essay with part of a every thing that is told him. The spy be character, which is finally drawn by the earl of gins with a low voice, •Such an one, the ad- Clarendon, in the first book of his History, vocate, whispered to one of his friends, with which gives as the lively picture of a great in my hearing, that your eminence was a very man teasing himself with an bsurd curiosity. great poltroon;' and, after having given his 'He had not that application and submispatron time enough to take it down, adds, that sion, and reverence for the queen, as might another called him a mercenary rascal in a pub- have been expected from his wisdom and lic conversation The cardinal replies, Very breeding ; and often crossed her pretences well,' and bids him go on. The spy procceds and desires with more rudeness than was natand loads him with reports of the same nat re, ural to him Yet he was impertinently solicitill the cardinal rises in great wrath, calls him tous to know what her majesty said of him in an impudent scoundrel, and kicks him out of private, and what resentments she had to
wards him. And when by some confidants, It is observed of great and heroic minds, that who had their ends upon him from those offithey have not only shown a particular disre- cers, he was informed of some bitter expresgard to those unmerited reproaches which sions falling from her majesty, he was so exhave been cast upon them, but have been alto- ceedingly afflicted and tormented with the gether free from that impertinent curiosity of sense of it, that sometimes by passionate cominquiring after them, or the poor revenge of plaints and representations to the king, someresenting them. The histories of Alexander times by more duriful addresses and expostuand Cæsar are full of this kind of instances. lations with the queen in bewailing his misforVulgar souls are of a quite contrary character. tune, he frequently exposed himself, and left Dionysius, the tyrant of Sicily, had a dun-bis condition worse than it was before, and the geon which was a very curious piece of ar-claircissement commonly ended in the dischitecture ; and of which, as I am informed, (covery of the persons froin whom he had rethere are still to be seen some remains in that ceived his most secret intelligence." C. island. It was called Dionysius's Ear, and built with several little wirdings and labyrinths. No. 440.) Friday, July 25, 1712. in the form of a real ear. The structure of it made a kind of whispering place, but such a
Vivere si rectè nescis, discede peritis.
Hor. Ep. ij. Lib. 2, 213. one as gathered the voice of him who spoke into a funnel which was placed at the very Learn to live well, or fairly make your will.-Pope. top of it. The tyrant used to lodge all his I have already given my reader an account * Eccl. x. 20.
of a set of merry fellows who are passing their
summer together in the country, being provi- so good an affect upon the rest of the patients, ded with a great house, where there is not only that he brought them all out to dinner with a convenient apartment for every particular him the next day. person, but a large infirmary for the reception On Tuesday we were no sooner sat down, of such of them as are any way indisposed or but one of the company complained that his out of humour. Having lately received a let-head ached ; upon which another asked him, ter from the secretary of the society, by order in an insolent manner, what he did there of the whole fraternity, which acquaints metben ? This insensibly grew into some warm with their behaviour during the last week, 1 words ; so that the president, in order to keep shall here make a present of it to the public. the peace, gave directions to take them both
from the table, and lodge them in the infir'MR. SPECTATOR,
mary. Not long after, another of the com• We are glad to find that you approve the pany telling us he knew, by a pain in his establishment which we have here made for shoulder, that we should have some rain, the the retrieving of good manners and agreeable president ordered him to be removed, and conversation, and shall use our best endeav- placed as a weather-glass in the apartment ours so to improve ourselves in this our sum- above-mentioned. mer retirement, that we may next winter ‘On Wednesday a gentleman, having reserve as patterns to the town. But to the end ceived a letter written in a woman's hand, and that this our institution may be no less advan-changing colour twice or thrice as he read it, tageous to the public than to ourselves, we desired leave to retire into the infirmary. The shall communicate to you one week of our president consented, but denied him the use of proceedings, desiring you at the same time, if pen, ink, and paper, till such time as he had you see any thing faulty in them, to favour us slept upon it. One of the company being seatwith your admonitions : for you must know, ed at the lower end of the table, and discoversir, that it has been proposed amongst us to ing his secret discontent, by finding fault with choose you for our visitor; to which I must every dish that was served up, and refusing to further add, that one of the college having laugh at any thing that was said, the president declared last week he did not like the Spec- told him, that he found he was in an uneasy tator of the day, and not being able to assign seat, and desired him to accommodate himself any just reasons for such dislike, he was sent better in the infirmary. After dinner, a very to the infirmary nemine contradicente.
honest fellow chanced to let a pun fall from 'On Monday the assembly was in very good him ; his neighbour cried out, “To the infirhumour, having received some recruits of mary; at the same time pretending to be sick French claret that morning ; when unluckily, at it, as having the same natural antipathy to towards the middle of the dinner, one of the a pun which some have to a cat. This procompany swore at his servant in a very rough duced a long debate. Upon the whole the manner for having put too much water in his punster was acquitted, and his neighbour sent wine. Upon which the president of the day, off. who is always the mouth of the company, after •On Thursday there was but one delinquent. having convinced him of the impertinence of This was a gentleman of strong voice, but his passion, and the insult he had made upon weak understanding. He had upluckily enthe company, ordered his man to take him gaged himself in a dispute with a man of exfrom the table, and convey him to the infirma- cellent sense, but of a modest elocution, The ry. There was but one more sent away that man of heat replied to every answer of his anday ; this was a gentleman, who is reckoned tagonist with a louder note than ordinary, and by some persons one of the greatest wits, and only raised his voice when he should have enby others one of the greatest boobies, about forced his argument. Finding himself at town. This you will say is a strange charac-length driven to an absurdity, he still reasoned tcr ; but what makes it stranger yet, is a in a more clamorous and confused manner ; very true one, for he is perpetually the re-and, to make the greater impression upon his verse of himself, being always merry or dull hearers, concluded with a loud thump upon to excess. We brought him hither to divert the table. The president immediately orderus, which he did very well upon the road, ha-led him to be carried off, and dieted with waterving lavished away as much wit and laughter gruel, till such time as he should be sufficient. upon the hackney coachman as might have ly weakened for conversation. served during his whole stay here, had it been On Friday there passed very little remarkduly managed. He had been lumpish for two able, saving only, that several petitions were or three days, but was so far connived at, in read of the persons in custody, desiring to be hopes of recovery, that we despatched one of released from their confinement, and vouching the briskest fellows among the brotherhood for one another's good behaviour for the fuinto the infirmary for having told him at tableture. he was not merry. But our president observ- On Saturday we received many excuBCS ing that he indulged himself in this long fit of from persons who had found themselves in an stupidity, and construing it as a contempt of unsociable temper, and had voluntarily shut the college, ordered him to retire into the place themselves up. The infirmary, was, indeed, prepared for such companions. He was no never so full as on this day, which I was at sooper got into it, but his wit and mirth return- some loss to account for, till, upon my going ed upon him in so violent a manner, that he abroad. I observed that it was an easterly shook all the infirmary with the noise of it, and wind. The retirement of most of my friends
has given me opportunity and leisure of wri But, without considering the supernatural ting you this letter, which I must not con-blessing which accompanies this duty, we may elude without assuring you, that all the mem-observe, that it has a natural tendency to its bers of our college, as well those who are un- own reward, or, in other words, that this firm der congnement as those who are at liberty, trust and confidence in the great Disposer of are your very humble servants, though none all things contributes very much to the getting more than,
clear of any affliction, or to the bearing it manC.
fully. A person who believes he has succour at hand, and that he acts in the sight of his
friend, often exerts himself beyond his abiliNo. 441.) Saluriny July 26 1712.
ties, and does wonders that are not to be
matched by one who is not animated with Si fractus illabatur orbis,
such a confidence of success. I could produce Impavidum foricut ruin.c. Hor. Od. iii. Lib. 3. 7.
instances from history, of generals, who, out Should the whole frame of nature round him break, ol a belief that they were under the protection In ruil and confusion hurl'd,
of some invisible assistant, did not only enHe, unconcern'd, would hear the mighty crack,
courage their soldiers to do their utmost, but And stand secure amidst a falling world. Anon.
have acted themselves beyond what they would Man, considered in himself, is a very help
is a very heln have done had they not been inspired by such less and a very wretched being. He is subject a
la belief. I might in the same manner show every moment to the greatest calamities and now such a trust in the assistance of an Almisfortunes. He is beset with dangers on all mighty Being naturally produces patience,
er hope, cheerfulness, and all other dispositions sides; and may become unhappy by numberless casualties, which he could not forsee, nor
of mind that alleviate those calamities which have prevented had he foreseen them.
we are not able to remove. It is our comfort, while we are obnoxious to The practice of this virtue administers great so many accidents, that we are under the care comfort to the mind of man in times of poverof One who directs contingencies, and has inity and affliction, but most of all in the hour of his hands the management of every thing that
death. When the soul is hovering in the last is capable of annoying or offending us; who
moments of its separation, when it is just enknows the assistance we stand in need of, and
tering on another state of existence, to conis always ready to bestow it on those who ask verse with scenes, and objects and companions it of him.
that are altogether new,--what can support The natural homage which such a creature
her under such tremblings of thought, such bears so infinitely wise and good a Being, is a
fear, such anxiely, such apprehensions, but firm reliance on him for the blessings and con
the casting of all her cares upon Him who veniencies of life, and an habitual trust in first gave her being, who has conducted her him for deliverance out of all such dangers
through one stage of it, and will be always and difficulties as may befall us.
with her to guide and comfort her in her proThe man who always lives in this disposition gress through eternity ? of mind, has not the same dark and melancholy
David has very beautifully represented this views of human nature, as he who considers steady relian
steady reliance on God Almighty in his twenhimself abstractedly from this relation to the
the ty-third psalm, which is a kind of pastoral Supreme Being. At the same time that he re-l "mu,
re hymn, and filled with those allusions which flects upon his own weakness and imperfec
fee are usual in that kind of writing. As the tion, he comforts himself with the contempla- pot
la poetry is very exquisite, I shall present my tion of those divine attributes which are em
reader with the following translation of it: ployed for his safety and his welfare. He finds his want of foresight made up by the
• The Lord my pasture sball prepare, Omniscience or Him who is his support. He
And feed me with a shepherd's care: is not sensible of his own want of strength, His presence shall my wants supply, when he knows that his helper is almighty. And guard me with a watchful eye; In short, the person who has a firm trust on
My noon-day walks he shall attend, the Supreme Being is powerful in His power,
And all my midnight hours defend. wise by His wisdom, happy by His happiness.
II. He reaps the benefit of every divine attribute,
“When in the sultry glebe I faint, and loses his own insufficiency in the fulness of Or on the thirsty mountain pant; finite perfection.
To fertile vales and dewy meads To make our lives more easy to us, we are
My weary, wand'ring steps ho leads;
Where peaceful rivers, soft, and slow, commanded to put our trust in Him, who is Amid the verdant landscape flow. thus able to relieve and sucçour us ; the divine goodness having made such reliance a
III. duty, notwithstanding we should have been
Though in the paths of death I tread, miserable had it been forbidden us.
With gloomy horrors oversprend,
My steadfast heart shall fear no ill, Among several motives which might be made For thou, O Lord, art with me still: use of to recommend this duty to us, I shall Thy friendly crook shall give me aid, only take notice of those that follow.
And guide me through the dreadful shade. The first and strongest is, that we are pro
IV. mised, He will not fail those who put their
Though in a bare and rugged way, trust in Him.
Through devious, lonely wilds I stray,
Thy bounty shall my pains beguile:
Hly wrong them, but deprive the world of a The barren wilderness shall smile
considerable satisfaction, should I any longer With sudden greens and herbage crown'd,
delay the making them public. Aud streams shall nurmur all around.'
| After I have published a few of these Spectators, I doubt not but I shall find the success
of them to equal, if not surpass, that of the No. 442.] Monday, July 28, 1712.
best of my own. An author should take all Scribimus indocti doctique
methods to humble himself in the opinion be Hor. Ep. i. Lib. 2, 117.
has of his own performances. When these Those who cannot write, and those who can, papers appear to the world, I doubt not but All rhyme and scrawl, and scribble to a man.
Ithey will be followed by many others; and Pope.
I shall not repine, though I myself shall I do not know whether I enough explained have left me but a very few days to appear myself to the world, when I invited all men to in public: but preferring the general weal bel assistant to me in this my work of spe- and advantage to any consideration of myculation ; for I have not yet acquainted my self, I am resolved for the future to publish readers, that besides the letters and valuable any Spectator that deserves it entire, and hints I have from time to time received from without any alteration; assuring the world my correspondents, I have by me several cu- (if there can be need of it) that it is none of rious and extraordinary papers sent with a mine, and if the authors think fit to subscribe design (as no one will doubt when they are their pames, I will add them. published) that they may be printed entire, / I think the best way of promoting this geneand without any alteration, by way of Spec-rous and useful design, will be by giving out tator. I must acknowledge also, that I my- subjects or themes of all kinds whotsoever, on self being the first projector of the paper, which (with a preamble of the extraordinary thought I had a right to make them my own, benefit and advantages that may accrue there. by dressing them in my own style, by leaving by to the public) I will invite all manner of out what would not appear like mine, and by persons, whether scholars, citizens, courtiers, adding whatever might be proper to adapt gentlemen of the town or country, and all them to the character and genius of my paper, beaus, rakes, smarts, prudes, coquettes, housewith which it was almost impossible these wives, and all sorts of wits, whether male or could exactly correspond, it being certain that female, and however distinguished, whether hardly two men think alike; and, therefore, they be true wits, whole or half wits, or wheso many men so many Spectators. Besides, ther arch, dry, natural, acquired, genuine, or I must own my weakness for glory in such, depraved wits; and persons of all sorts of that, if I consulted that only, I might be so far tempers and complexions, whether the severe. swayed by it, as almost to wish that no one the delightful, the impertinent, the agreeable, could write a Spectator besides myself, nor the thoughtful, the busy or careless, the secan I deny but, upon the first perusal of those rene or cloudy, jovial or melancholy, untowe papers, I felt some secret inclinations of ill-ardly or easy, the cold, temperate, or sanguine; will towards the persons who wrote them. and of what manners or dispositions soever, This was the impression I had upon the first whether the ambitious or humble-minded, reading them; but upon a late review (more the proud or pitiful, ingenuous or base-mindfor the sake of entertainment than use), re-ed, good or ill-natured, public-spirited or selgarding them with another eye than I had fish; and under what fortune or circumstance done at first (for by converting them as well soever, whether the contented or miserable, as I could to my own use, I thought I'had ut- happy or unfortunate, high or low, rich or terly disabled them from ever offending me poor (whether so through want of money, or again as Spectators), I found myself moved desire of more), healthy or sickly, married by a passion very different froin that of envy; or single: pay, whether tall or short, fat or sensibly touched with pity, the softest and lean; and of what trade, occupation, profesmost generous of all passions, when I reflect- sion, station, country, faction, party, persuaed what a cruel disappointment the neglect of sion, quality, age, or condition soever; who those papers must needs have been to the wri-have ever made thinking a part of their busiters who impatiently longed to see them ap- ness or diversion, and have any thing worthy per in print, and who, no doubt, triumphed to to impart on these subjects to the world, ac themselves in the hopes of having a share cording to their several and respective talents with me in the applause of the public; a or geniuses ; and, as the subjects given out pleasure so great, that none but those who hit their tempers, humours, or circumstances, have experienced it can have a sense of it. In or may be made profitable to the public hy this manner of viewing those papers, I really their particular knowledge or experience in found I had not done them justice, there be the matter proposed, to do their utmost on ing something so extremely natural and pe-them by such a time, to the end they may reculiarly good in some of them, that I will ap-ceive the inexpressible and irresistible pleapeal to the world wbether it was possible to sure of seeing their essays allowed of and realter a word in them without doing them a lished by the rest of mankind. manifest hurt and violence; and whether I will not prepossess the reader with too they can ever appear rightly, and as they great expectation of the extraurdinary advanought, but in their own native dress and co-tages which must redound to the public by lours. And therefore I think I should not on these essays, when the different thoughts and