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able on such occasions, when we see the people | plentiful fortunes at their own disposal, and betake a certain painful gratification in behold- stowing her friends upon worthless indigent ing these encounters, Is it cruelty that ad- fellows; on the other side, she ensnares inconministers this sort of delight? or is it a plea- considerate and rash youths of great estates sure which is taken in the exercise of pity? It into the arms of vicious women. For this purwas, methought, pretty remarkable that the pose, she is accomplished in all the arts which business of the day being a trial of skill, the can make her acceptable at impertinent visits; popularity did not run so high as one would she knows all that passes in every quarter, and have expected on the side of Buck. It is that is well acquainted with all the favourite serpeople's passions have their rise in self-love, vants, busy-bodies, dependents, and poor reand thought themselves (in spite of all the lations, of all persons of condition in the whole courage they had) liable to the fate of Miller, town. At the price of a good sum of money, but could not so easily think themselves quali- Sempronia, by the instigation of Flavilla's fied like Buck? mother, brought about the match for the daughTully speaks of this custom with less horror ter; and the reputation of this, which is appathan one would expect, though he confesses it rently, in point of fortune, more than Flavilla was much abused in his time, and seems direct-could expect, has gained her the visits and frely to approve of it under its first regulations, quent attendance of the crowd of mothers, who when criminals only fought before the people. had rather see their children miserable in great • Crudele gladiatorum spectaculem et inhuma-wealth, than the happiest of the race of mannum nonnullis videri solet, et haud scio annon kind in a less conspicuous state of life. When ita sit ut nunc fit; cùm verò sontes ferro depug- Sempronia is so well acquainted with a wonabant, auribus fortasse multa, oculis quidem man's temper and circumstances, that she benulla poterat, esse fortior contra dolorem et mor- lieves marriage would be acceptable to her, tem disciplina.' The shows of gladiators and advantageous to the man who shall get. may be thought barbarous and inhuman, and her, her next step is to look out for some one, I know not but it is so as now practised; but in those times when only criminals were combatants, the ear perhaps might receive many better instructions, but it is impossible that any thing which affects our eyes should fortify us so well against pain and death.'

No. 437.] Tuesday, July 22, 1712.

T.

whose condition has some secret wound in it, and wants a sum, yet, in the eye of the world, not unsuitable to her. If such is not easily had, she immediately adorns a worthless fellow with what estate she thinks convenient, and adds as great a share of good humour and sobriety as is requisite. After this is settled, no importunities, arts, and devices are omitted, to hasten the lady to her happiness. In the general, indeed, she is a person of so strict

Tune impunè hæc facias? Tune hic homines adolescentu-justice. that she marries a poor gallant to a

los,
Imperitos rerum, eductos liberè, in fraudem illicis?
Sollicitando et pollicitando eorum animos lactas?
Ae meretricos amores nuptiis conglutinas?

Ter. And. Act. v. Sc. 4.

Shall you escape with impunity: you who lay snares for young men of a liberal education, but unacquainted with the world, and by force of importunity and pro

mises, draw them in to marry harlots?

know there is no making of children, who know they have estates, attend their books.'

rich wench, and a moneyless girl to a man of fortune. But then she has no manner of conscience in the disparity, when she has a mind to impose a poor rogue for one of an estate: she has no remorse in adding to it, that he is illiterate, ignorant, and unfashioned; but makes their imperfections arguments of the truth of his wealth; and will, on such an ocTHE other day passed by me in her chariot casion, with a very grave face, charge the peoa lady with that pale and wan complexion ple of condition with negligence in the educawhich we sometimes see in young people who cation of their children. Exception being made are fallen into sorrow, and private anxiety the other day against an ignorant booby of of mind, which antedate age and sickness. It her own clothing, whom she was putting off is not three years ago since she was gay, airy, for a rich heir: Madam,' said she, you and a little towards libertine in her carriage; but, methought, I easily forgave her that little insolence, which she so severely pays for in Sempronia, by these arts, is loaded with preher present condition. Flavilla, of whom I am sents, importuned for her acquaintance, and speaking, is married to a sullen fool with admired by those who do not know the first wealth. Her beauty and merit are lost upon taste of life, as a woman of exemplary good the dolt, who is insensible of perfection in any breeding. But sure to murder and rob are less thing. Their hours together are either painful iniquities, than to raise profit by abuses as iror insipid. The minutes she has to hesself in reparable as taking away life; but more grievhis absence are not sufficient to give vent at her ous, as making it lastingly unhappy. To rob eyes, to the grief and torment of his last con- a lady at play of half her fortune, is not so ill versation. This poor creature was sacrificed as giving the whole and herself to an unworthy (with a temper which, under the cultivation husband. But Sempronia can administer conof a man of sense, would have made the most solation to an unhappy fair at home, by leadagreeable companion) into the arms of this ing her to an agreeable gallant elsewhere. She loathsome yoke-fellow by Sempronia. Sem- then can preach the general condition of all pronia is a good lady, who supports herself in the married world, and tell an unexperienced an affluent condition, by contracting friend-young woman the methods of softening her af ship with rich young widows, and maids of fliction, and laugh at her simplicity and want

of knowledge, with an 'Oh! my dear, you will one is very good natured, but very passionate. know better.' The expression, indeed, is very good-natured, The wickedness of Sempronia, one would to allow passionate people so much quarter: think, should be superlative: but I cannot but but I think a passionate man deserves the least esteem that of some parents equal to it: I mean indulgence imaginable. It is said, it is soon such as sacrifice the greatest endowments and over; that is, all the mischief he does is quickly qualifications to base bargains. A parent who despatched, which, I think, is no great recomforces a child of a liberal and ingenious spirit mendation to favour. I have known one of into the arms of a clown or a blockhead, obli- those good-natured passionate men say in a ges her to a crime too odious for a name. It mixed company, even to his own wife or child, is in a degree the unnatural conjunction of ra- such things as the most inveterate enemy of tional and brutal beings. Yet what is there so his family would not have spoken even in imacommon, as the bestowing an accomplished gination. It is certain that quick sensibility is woman with such a disparity? And I could inseparable from a ready understanding; but name crowds who lead miserable lives for want why should not that good understanding call to of knowledge in their parents of this maxim, itself all its force on such occasions, to master That good sense and good-nature always go that sudden inclination to anger? One of the together. That which is attributed to fools, greatest souls now in the world" is the most and called good-nature, is only an inability of subject by nature to anger, and yet so famous observing what is faulty, which turns, in mar- for a conquest of himself this way, that he is riage, into a suspicion of every thing as such, from a consciousness of that inability.

MR. SPECTATOR,

the known example when you talk of temper and command of a man's self. To contain the spirit of anger, is the worthiest discipline we can put ourselves to. When a man has made 'I am entirely of your opinion with relation any progress this way, a frivolous fellow in a to the equestrian females, who affect both the passion is to him as contemptible as a froward masculine and feminine air at the same time; child. It ought to be the study of every man, and cannot forbear making a presentment for his own quiet and peace. When he stands against another order of them, who grow very combustible and ready to flame upon every numerous and powerful; and since our lan- thing that touches him, life is as uneasy to himiguage is not very capable of good compound self as it is to all about him. Syncropius leads, words, I must be contented to call them only of all men living, the most ridiculous life; he "the naked-shouldered." These beauties are is ever offending and begging pardon. If his not contented to make lovers wherever they man enters the room without what he was sent appear, but they must make rivals at the same for- That blockhead,' begins he- Gentletime. Were you to see Gatty walk the Park | men, I ask your pardon, but servants nowat high mall, you would expect those who fol-a-days'-The wrong plates are laid, they are lowed her and those who met her would imme-thrown into the middle of the room; his wife diately draw their swords for her. I hope, sir, stands by in pain for him, which he sees in her you will provide for the future, that women face, and answers as if he had heard all she may stick to their faces for doing any further was thinking:- Why? what the devil! Why mischief, and not allow any but direct traders don't you take care to give orders in these in beauty to expose more than the fore-part of things? His friends sit down to a tasteless the neck, unless you please to allow this after- plenty of every thing every minute expectgame to those who are very defective in the ing new insults from his impertinent pascharms of the countenance. I can say, to my sions. In a word, to eat with, or visit Synsorrow, the present practice is very unfair, cropius, is no other than going to see him exwhen to look back is death; and it may be ercise his family, exercise their patience, and said of our beauties, as a great poet did of his own anger. bullets,

"They kill and wound, like Parthians, as they fly."
I submit this to your animadversion; and
am, for the little while I have left,

'Your humble servant,
'The languishing
PHILANTHUS.

'P. S. Suppose you mended my letter, and made a simile about the "porcupine;" but I submit that also,'

No. 438.] Wednesday, July 23, 1712
-Animum rege, qui, nisi paret,

Imperat-
Hor. Ep. ii. Lib. 1. 62.
-Curb thy soul,
And check thy rage, which must be rul'd or rule.
Creech.

Ir is a very common expression, that such a

Ingenuous.

It is monstrous that the shame and confusion in which this good-natured angry man must needs behold his friends, while he thus lays about him, does not give him so much reflection as to create an amendment. This is the most scândalous disuse of reason imaginable; all the harmless part of him is no more than that of a bull-dog, they are tame no longer than they are not offended. One of these good-natured angry men shall, in an instant, assemble together so many allusions to secret circumstances, as are enough to dissolve the peace of all the families and friends he is acquainted with, in a quarter of an hour, and yet the next moment be the best natured man in the world. If you would see passion in its purity, without mixture of reason, behold it represented in a mad hero, drawn by a mad poet. Nat. Lee makes his Alexander say thus:

Lord Somers.

'Away! begone! and give a whirlwind room,
Or I will blow you up like dust! "Avaunt!
Madness but meanly represents my toil.
Eternal discord!

Fury! revenge! disdain and indignation!

Tear my swol'n breast, make way for fire and tempest. My brain is burst, debate and reason quench'd; The storm is up, and my hot bleeding heart Splits with the rack; while passions, like the wind, Rise to heav'n, and put out all the stars.' up Every passionate fellow in town talks half the day with as little consistency, and threatens things as much out of his power.

you have lost the first volume; and, to be short, I will be paid.' 'Sir,' answered the chapman, 'you are a young man, your book is lost; and learn by this little loss to bear much greater adversities, which you must expect to meet with.' 'Yes, I'll bear when I must, but I have not lost now, for I say you have it, and shall pay me.' Friend, you grow warm; I tell you the book is lost; and foresee, in the Course even of a prosperous life, that you will meet afflictions to make you mad, if Sir, there is, The next disagreeable person to the out- you cannot bear this trifle.' rageous gentleman, is one of a much lower in this case, no need of hearing, for you have order of anger, and he is what we commonly but your passion will not let you hear enough I say, sir, I have not the book; call a peevish fellow. A peevish fellow is one

the book.'

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who has some reason in himself for being out to be informed that I have it not. of humour, or has a natural incapacity for de- signation of yourself to the distresses of this light, and therefore disturbs all who are hap- life: nay, do not fret and fume; it is my duty to tell you, that you are of an impatient pier than himself with pishes and pshaws, or other well-bred interjections, at every thing spirit, and an impatient spirit is never withthat is said or done in his presence. There out woe.' Was ever any thing like this?' should be physic mixed in the food of all Yes, sir, there have been many things like this: the loss is but a trifle; but your temper which these fellows eat in good company is wanton, and incapable of the least pain; This degree of anger passes, forsooth, for a therefore let me advise you, be patient, the delicacy of judgment, that won't admit of being easily pleased; but none above the cha- book is lost, but do not you for that reason lose yourself. racter of wearing a peevish man's livery ought to bear with his ill manners. All things

among men of sense and condition should pass No. 439.] Thursday July 24, 1712. the censure, and have the protection of the eye

of reason.

T.

Hi narrata ferunt aliò: mensuraque ficti
Crescit; et auditis aliquid novus adjicit auctor.
Ovid, Met. xii. 57.

No man ought to be tolerated in an habitual humour, whim, or particularity of behaviour, Some tell what they have heard, or tales devise; by any who do not wait upon him for bread. Each fiction still improved with added lies. Next to the peevish fellow is the snarler. This gentleman deals mightily in what we call the OVID describes the palace of Fame as siirony; and as those sort of people exert them-tuated in the very centre of the universe, selves most against those below them, you see and perforated with so many windows as gave their humour best in their talk to their ser-her the sight of every thing that was done vants. 'That is so like you; You are a fine in the heavens, in the earth, and in the sea. fellow; Thou art the quickest head-piece;' and The structure of it was contrived in so ade the like. One would think the hectoring, the mirable a manner, that it echoed every word storming, the sullen, and all the different spe- which was spoken in the whole compass of cies and subordinations of the angry should be nature; so that the palace, says the poet, was cured, by knowing they live only as pardoned always filled with a confused hubbub of low, men; and how pitiful is the condition of being dying sounds, the voices being almost spent only suffered! But I am interrupted by the and worn out before they arrived at this pleasantest scene of anger, and the disappoint-general rendezvous of speeches and whisment of it, that I have ever known, which hap-pers.

pened while I was yet writing, and I overheard I consider courts with the same regard to as I sat in the back-room at a French book- the governments which they superintend, as seller's. There came into the shop a very Ovid's palace of Fame with regard to the unilearned man with an erect solemn air; and, verse. The eyes of a watchful minister run though a person of great parts otherwise, slow through the whole people. There is scarce a in understanding any thing which makes against murmur or complaint that does not reach his himself, The composure of the faulty man, ears. They have news-gatherers and intelliand the whimsical perplexity of him that was gencers distributed into their several walks and justly angry, is perfectly new. After turning quarters, who bring in their respective quotas, over many volumes, said the seller to the buyer, and make them acquainted with the discourse Sir, you know I have long asked you to send and conversation of the whole kingdom or comme back the first volume of French sermons I monwealth where they are employed. The formerly lent you.' Sir,' said the chapman, wisest of kings, alluding to these invisible and 'I have often looked for it, but cannot find it; unsuspected spies, who are planted by kings it is certainly lost, and I know not to whom I and rulers over their fellow-citizens, as well sent it, it is so many years ago.' Then, sir, here is the other volume; I'll send you home that, and please to pay for both.' 'My friend,' replied he, canst thou be so senseless as not to Mr. James Payne, in the Strand; and the subject of it This scene passed in the shop of Mr. Vailland, now of know that one volume is as imperfect in my was (for it is still in remembrance) a volume of Massillibrary as in your shop?' 'Yes, sir, but it is lon's Sermons.

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By Steele. See No. 324, ad finem.

as to those voluntary informers that are buz-state criminals, or those whom he supposed to zing about the ears of a great man, and mak- be engaged together in any evil designs upon ing their court by such secret methods of in- him, in this dungeon. He had at the same telligence, has given us a very prudent cau- time an apartment over it, where he used to tion:* Curse not the king, no not in thy apply himself to the funnel, and by that means thought, and curse not the rich in thy bed- overheard every thing that was whispered in chamber; for a bird of the air shall car y the the dungeon. I believe one may venture to voice, and that which hath wings shall tell the affirm, that a Cæsar or an Alexander would have rather died by the treason than have used such disingenuous means for the detecting of it.

matter.

As it is absolutely necessary for rulers to make use of other people's eyes, they should take particular care to do it in such a manner, A man who in ordinary life is very inquisithat it may not bear too hard on the person tive after every thing which is spoken ill of whose life and conversation are inquired into. nim, passes his time but very indifferently. He A man who is capable of so infamous a calling is wounded by every arrow that is shot at as that of a spy, is not very much to be relied him, and puts it in the power of every insigupon. He can have no great ties of honour or nificant enemy to disquiet him. Nay, he will checks of conscience, to restrain him in those suffer from what has been said of him, when covert evidences, where the person accused has it is forgotten by those who said or heard it. no opportunity of vindicating himself. He will For this reason I could never bear one of be more indistrious to carry that which is those officious friends, that would be telling grateful than that which is true. There will every malicious report, every idle censure, be no occasion for him if he does not hear and that passed upon me. The tongue of man is see things worth discovery; so that he natu- so petulant, and his thoughts so variable, that rally inflames every word and circumstance, one should not lay too great a stress upon aggravates what is faulty, perverts what is any present speeches and opinions. Praise good, and misrepresents what is indifferent. and obloquy proceed very frequently out of Nor is it to be doubted but that such igno- the same mouth upon the same person; and minious wretches let their private passions upon the same occasion. A generous enemy into these their clandestine informations, and will sometimes bestow commendations, as the often wreak their particular spite and ma- dearest friend cannot sometimes refrain from lice against the person whom they are set to watch. It is a pleasant scene enough, which an Italian author describes between a spy and a cardinal who employed him. The cardinal is represented as minuting down every thing that is told him. The spy be-character, which is finally drawn by the earl of gins with a low voice, 'Such an one, the ad- Clarendon, in the first book of his History, vocate, whispered to one of his friends, with- which gives us the lively picture of a great in my hearing, that your eminence was a very man teasing himself with an bsurd curiosity. great poltroon;' and, after having given his 'He had not that application and submispatron time enough to take it down, adds, that sion, and reverence for the queen, as might another called him a mercenary rascal in a pub- have been expected from his wisdom and lic conversation The cardinal replies, Very breeding; and often crossed her pretences well,' and bids him go on. The spy procceds and desires with more rudeness than was natand loads him with reports of the same natre, ural to him Yet he was impertinently solicitill the cardinal rises in great wrath, calls him tous to know what her majesty said of him in an impudent scoundrel, and kicks him out of private, and what resentments she had tothe room. wards him. And when by some confidants,

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speaking ill. The man who is indifferent in either of these respects, gives his opinion at random, and praises or disapproves as he finds himself in humour.

I shall conclude this essay with part of a

It is observed of great and heroic minds, that who had their ends upon him from those offithey have not only shown a particular disre-cers, he was informed of some bitter expresgard to those unmerited reproaches which sions falling from her majesty, he was so exhave been cast upon them, but have been alto- ceedingly afflicted and tormented with the gether free from that impertinent curiosity of sense of it, that sometimes by passionate cominquiring after them, or the poor revenge of plaints and representations to the king, someresenting them. The histories of Alexander times by more dutiful addresses and expostuand Cæsar are full of this kind of instances. lations with the queen in bewailing his misforVulgar souls are of a quite contrary character. tune, he frequently exposed himself, and left Dionysius, the tyrant of Sicily, had a dun-his condition worse than it was before, and the geon which was a very curious piece of ar- claircissement commonly ended in the dischitecture; and of which, as I am informed, covery of the persons from whom he had rethere are still to be seen some remains in that ceived his most secret intelligence." island. It was called Dionysius's Ear, and built with several little windings and labyrinths, in the form of a real ear. The structure of it made a kind of whispering place, but such a one as gathered the voice of him who spoke into a funnel which was placed at the very top of it. The tyrant used to lodge all his * Eccl. x. 20.

No. 440.] Friday, July 25, 1712.
Vivere si rectè nescis, discede peritis.

C.

Hor. Ep. ii. Lib. 2, 213.
Learn to live well, or fairly make your will.-Pope.
I HAVE already, given my reader an account
of a set of merry fellows who are passing their

summer together in the country, being provi- so good an affect upon the rest of the patients, ded with a great house, where there is not only that he brought them all out to dinner with a convenient apartment for every particular him the next day.

person, but a large infirmary for the reception 'On Tuesday we were no sooner sat down, of such of them as are any way indisposed or but one of the company complained that bis out of humour. Having lately received a let-head ached; upon which another asked him, ter from the secretary of the society, by order in an insolent manner, what he did there of the whole fraternity, which acquaints me then? This insensibly grew into some warm with their behaviour during the last week, I words; so that the president, in order to keep shall here make a present of it to the public.

'MR. SPECTATOR,

the peace, gave directions to take them both from the table, and lodge them in the infirmary. Not long after, another of the comWe are glad to find that you approve the pany telling us he knew, by a pain in his establishment which we have here made for shoulder, that we should have some rain, the the retrieving of good manners and agreeable president ordered him to be removed, and conversation, and shall use our best endeav-placed as a weather-glass in the apartment ours so to improve ourselves in this our sum- above-mentioned.

mer retirement, that we may next winter On Wednesday a gentleman, having reserve as patterns to the town. But to the end ceived a letter written in a woman's hand, and that this our institution may be no less advan-changing colour twice or thrice as he read it, tageous to the public than to ourselves, we desired leave to retire into the infirmary. The shall communicate to you one week of our president consented, but denied him the use of proceedings, desiring you at the same time, if pen, ink, and paper, till such time as he had you see any thing faulty in them, to favour us slept upon it. One of the company being seatwith your admonitions: for you must know, ed at the lower end of the table, and discoversir, that it has been proposed amongst us to ing his secret discontent, by finding fault with choose you for our visitor; to which I must every dish that was served up, and refusing to further add, that one of the college having laugh at any thing that was said, the president declared last week he did not like the Spec- told him, that he found he was in an uneasy tator of the day, and not being able to assign seat, and desired him to accommodate himself any just reasons for such dislike, he was sent better in the infirmary. After dinner, a very to the infirmary nemine contradicente. honest fellow chanced to let a pun fall from

On Monday the assembly was in very good him; his neighbour cried out, "To the infirhumour, having received some recruits of mary; at the same time pretending to be sick French claret that morning; when unluckily, at it, as having the same natural antipathy to towards the middle of the dinner, one of the a pun which some have to a cat. This procompany swore at his servant in a very rough duced a long debate. Upon the whole the manner for having put too much water in his punster was acquitted, and his neighbour sent wine. Upon which the president of the day, off. who is always the mouth of the company, after

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On Thursday there was but one delinquent. having convinced him of the impertinence of This was a gentleman of strong voice, but his passion, and the insult he had made upon weak understanding. He had unluckily enthe company, ordered his man to take him gaged himself in a dispute with a man of exfrom the table, and convey him to the infirma- cellent sense, but of a modest elocution, The ry. There was but one more sent away that man of heat replied to every answer of his anday; this was a gentleman, who is reckoned tagonist with a louder note than ordinary, and by some persons one of the greatest wits, and only raised his voice when he should have enby others one of the greatest boobies, about forced his argument. Finding himself at town. This you will say is a strange charac-length driven to an absurdity, he still reasoned ter; but what makes it stranger yet, is a in a more clamorous and confused manner; very true one, for he is perpetually the re- and, to make the greater impression upon his verse of himself, being always merry or dull hearers, concluded with a loud thump upon to excess. We brought him hither to divert the table. The president immediately orderus, which he did very well upon the road, ha-ed him to be carried off, and dieted with waterving lavished away as much wit and laughter gruel, till such time as he should be sufficientupon the hackney coachman as might have ly weakened for conversation. served during his whole stay here, had it been 'On Friday there passed very little remarkduly managed. He had been lumpish for two able, saving only, that several petitions were or three days, but was so far connived at, in read of the persons in custody, desiring to be hopes of recovery, that we despatched one of released from their confinement, and vouching the briskest fellows among the brotherhood for one another's good behaviour for the fuinto the infirmary for having told him at table ture.

he was not merry. But our president observ- 'On Saturday we received many excuses ing that he indulged himself in this long fit of from persons who had found themselves in an stupidity, and construing it as a contempt of unsociable temper, and had voluntarily shut the college, ordered him to retire into tl e place themselves up. The infirmary, was, indeed, prepared for such companions. He was no never so full as on this day, which I was at sooner got into it, but his wit and mirth return-some loss to account for, till, upon my going ed upon him in so violent a manner, that he abroad, I observed that it was an easterly shook all the infirmary with the noise of it, and wind. The retirement of most of my friends

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