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beth, had divers times moved for audience, and been put off. At last he came to the Queen in a progress, and had on a new pair of boots. When he came in, the Queen' said to him, Fie sloven, thy new boots stink. Madam, (said he,) it is not my new boots that stink, but it is the stale bills that I have kept so long.

85. (218.) One was saying; That his great grandfather and grandfather and father died at sea. Said another that heard him; And I were as you, I would never come at sea. Why, (saith he,) where did your great grandfather and grandfather and father die? He answered; Where but in their beds? Saith the other; And I were as you, I would never come in bed.

86. (139.) Aristippus was earnest suitor to Dionysius for somewhat, who would give no ear to his suit. Aristippus fell at his feet; Then Dionysius granted it.. One that stood by said afterwards to Aristippus; You a philosopher, and to be so base as to throw yourself at the tyrant's feet to get a suit? Aristippus answered; The fault is not mine, but the fault is in Dionysius, that carries his ears in his feet.

† 87. There was a young man in Rome, that was very like Augustus Cæsar. Augustus took knowledge of it, and sent for the man, and asked him; Was your mother never at Rome? He answered; No, sir, but my father was.

† 88. A physician advised his patient, that had sore eyes, that he should abstain from wine. But the patient said, I think rather, sir, from wine and water 2; for I have often marked it in blear eyes, and I have seen water come forth, but never wine.

† 89. When Sir Thomas Moore was Lord Chancellor, he did use, at mass, to sit in the chancel; and his lady in a pew. And because the pew stood out of sight, his gentleman-usher ever after service came to the lady's pew, and said; Madam, my Lord is gone. So when the Chancellor's place was taken from him, the next time they went to church, Sir Thomas himself came to his lady's pew, and said; Madam, my Lord is gone.

90. (73.) At an act of the Commencement, the answerer gave for his question; That an aristocracy was better than a monarchy. The replier, who was a dissolute fellow 3, did tax him; That being a private bred man, he would give a question of state. The answerer said; That the replier did much wrong the

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privilege of scholars; who would be much straitened if they should give questions of nothing but such things wherein they are practised. And added; We have heard yourself dispute of virtue, which no man will say you put much in practice.

91. (219.) There was a dispute, whether great heads or little heads had the better wit? And one said; It must needs be the little. For it is a maxim, Omne majus continet in se minus.

92. (140.) Solon, when he wept for his son's death, and one said to him; Weeping will not help; answered, Alas, therefore I weep, because weeping will not help.

93. (141.) Solon being asked; Whether he had given the Athenians the best laws? answered; Yes, the best of those that they would have received.

94. (142.) One said to Aristippus; It is a strange thing, why should men rather give to the poor, than to philosophers. He answered; Because they think themselves may sooner come to be poor, than to be philosophers.

95. (145.) Alexander used to say of his two friends, Craterus and Hephæstion; That Hephaestion loved Alexander, and Craterus loved the King.


96. (146.) It fell out so, that as Livia went abroad in Rome, there met her naked young men that were sporting in the streets; which Augustus was 2 about severely to punish in them; but Livia spake for them, and said, It was no more to chaste women than so many statua's.

97. (75.) Alonso of Arragon was wont to say, in commendation of age, That age appeared to be best in four things: Old wood best to burn; old wine to drink; old friends to trust; and old authors to read.3

98. (76.) It was said of Augustus, and afterwards the like was said of Septimius Severus, both which did infinite mischief in their beginnings, and infinite good towards their ends; That they should either have never been born or never died.


99. (74.) Queen Isabell of Spain used to say; Whosoever hath a good presence and a good fashion, carries letters of recommendation.

100. (143.) Trajan would say of the vain jealousy of princes,

1 For that. R.

Isabella, R.

2 went. R.

Melch. II. 1. 20. 5 continual letters. R.


that seek to make away those that aspire to their succession; That there was never King that did put to death his successor.

101. (144.) When it was represented to Alexander, to the advantage of Antipater, who was a stern and imperious man, that he only of all his lieutenants wore no purple, but kept the Macedonian habit of black, Alexander said; Yes, but Antipater is all purple within.1

102. (77.) Constantine the Great, in a kind of envy, himself being a great builder, as Trajan likewise was, would call Trajan Wall-flower 2; because his name was upon so many walls.

103. (147.) Philip of Macedon was wished to banish one for speaking ill of him. But Philip said3; Better he speak where we are both known, than where we are both unknown.

† 104. A Grecian captain, advising the confederates that were united against the Lacedæmonians touching their enterprise, gave opinion that they should go directly upon Sparta, saying; That the state of Sparta was like rivers; strong when they had run a great way, and weak towards their head.

105. (78.) Alonso of Arragon was wont to say of himself, That he was a great necromancer, for that he used to ask counsel of the dead: meaning books.1

106. (148.) Lucullus entertained Pompey in one of his magnificent houses. Pompey said; This is a marvellous fair and stately house for the summer: but methinks it should be very cold for winter. Lucullus answered; Do you not think me as wise as divers fowl are, to remove with the season?


107. (149.) Plato entertained some of his friends at a dinner, and had in the chamber a bed or couch, neatly and costly furnished. Diogenes came in, and got upon the bed, and trampled upon it, and said; I trample upon the pride of Plato. Plato mildly answered; But with greater pride.

† 108. One was examined upon certain scandalous words spoken against the King. He confessed them, and said; It is true I spake them, and if the wine had not failed I had said much


109. (150.) Pompey being commissioner for sending grain to Rome in time of dearth, when he came to the sea, he found it very tempestuous and dangerous, insomuch as those about

See Mr. Ellis's note, Vol. I. p. 474. s answered.

4 of books.


2 Parietaria, wall-flower. R. to change my habitation in the winter season. R. • and trampled it; saying. R.

him advised him by no means to embark. But Pompey said; It is of necessity that I go, not that I live.

†110. Trajan would say; That the King's exchequer was like the spleen; for when that did swell, the whole body did pine.

t111. Charles the Bald allowed one, whose name was Scottus, to sit at the table with him, for his pleasure. Scottus sat on the other side of the table. One time the King being merry with him, said to him; What is there between Scot and Sot? Scottus answered; The table only.

112. (79.) Ethelwold, Bishop of Winchester, in a famine, sold all the rich vessels and ornaments of the Church, to relieve the poor with bread; and said, There was no reason that the dead temples of God should be sumptuously furnished, and the living temples suffer penury.

†113. There was a marriage made between a widow of great wealth, and a gentleman of great house that had no estate or means. Jack Roberts said; That marriage was like a black pudding; the one brought blood, and the other brought suet and oatmeal.1

114. (151.) Demosthenes was upbraided by Eschines, that his speeches did smell of the lamp. But Demosthenes said; Indeed there is a great deal of difference between that that you and I do by lamp-light.

115. (152.) Demades the orator, in his age, was talkative, and would eat hard. Antipater would say of him; That he was like a sacrifice, that nothing was left of it but the tongue and the paunch.

116. (242.) When King Edward the Second was amongst his torturers, who hurried him to and fro, that no man should know where he was, they set him down upon a bank: and one time, the more to disguise his face, shaved him, and washed him with cold water of a ditch by: The King said; Well, yet I will have warm water for my beard. And so shed abundance of tears.

117. (203.) The Turk2 made an expedition into Persia, and because of the strait jaws of the mountains of Armenia, the basha's consulted which way they should get in. Says a natural fool that stood by3; Here's much ado how you should

I hear nobody take care how you should get out.

get in; but

1 Melch. IV. 4. 13.: where the remark is attributed to a nameless Hidalgo, upon a

marriage between a rich labourer's daughter and the son of a poor gentleman.

2 Turks. R.

one that heard the debate said.


4 shall. R.

118. (220.) Sir Thomas Moore, when the counsel of the party pressed him for a longer day', said; Take Saint Barnaby's day, which is the longest day in the year. Now Saint Barnaby's day was within few days following.

119. (221.) One of the Fathers saith; That there is but this difference between the death of old men and young men ; that old men go to death, and death comes to young men.

120. (154.) Philo Judæus saith; That the sense is like the sun; For the sun seals up the globe of heaven, and opens the globe of earth: so the sense doth obscure heavenly things, and reveal earthly things.

121. (222.) Cassius, after the defeat of Crassus by the Parthians, whose weapons were chiefly arrows, fled to the city of Carras, where he durst not stay any time, doubting to be pursued and besieged. He had with him an astrologer, who said to him; Sir, I would not have you go hence, while the moon is in the sign of Scorpio. Cassius answered, I am more afraid of that of Sagittarie.2

battle of Granicum, had very Consulting with his captains Sure I would accept of these Alexander answered; So would

122. (155.) Alexander, after the great offers made him by Darius. concerning them, Parmenio said; offers, if I were as Alexander. I, if I were as Parmenio.

123. (156.) Alexander was wont to say; He knew he was mortal3 by two things; sleep and lust.

† 124. Augustus Cæsar was invited to supper by one of his old friends that had conversed with him in his less fortunes, and had but ordinary entertainment. Whereupon, at his going, he said; I did not know you and I were so familiar.*

125. (157.) Augustus Cæsar would say; That he wondered that Alexander feared he should want work, having no more to conquer; as if it were not as hard a matter to keep as to conquer.

126. (158.) Antigonus, when it was told him that the enemy had such vollies of arrows that they did hide the sun, said ; That falls out well, for it is hot weather, and we shall fight in the shade.

127. (112.) Augustus Cæsar did write to Livia, who was over-sensible of some ill-words that had been spoken of them

1 a longer day to perform the decree. R. knew himself to be mortal chiefly.

4 Melch. VI. 8. 14. told of two squires.


2 sagittarius. R.

no more worlds. R.

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