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APOPHTHEGMS NEW AND OLD.

His Lordship's Preface.1

JULIUS CÆSAR did write a Collection of Apophthegms, as appears in an epistle of Cicero. I need say no more for the worth of a writing of that nature. It is pity his book is lost: for I imagine they were collected with judgment and choice; whereas that of Plutarch and Stobæus, and much more the modern ones, draw much of the dregs. Certainly they are of excellent use. They are mucrones verborum, pointed speeches. Cicero prettily calls them salinas, saltpits; that you may extract salt out of, and sprinkle it where you will. They serve to be interlaced in continued speech. They serve to be recited upon occasion of themselves. They serve if you take out the kernel of them, and make them your own. I have, for my recreation in my sickness, fanned the old5; not omitting any because they are vulgar, (for many vulgar ones are excellent good,) nor for the meanness of the person, but because they are dull and flat; and added many new, that otherwise would have died."

So R. There is no heading in the original.

? So did Macrobius, a Consular man. R.

3 Cæsar's book. R.

The words of the wise are as goods, saith Solomon. (Added in R.)

I have for my recreation, amongst more serious studies, collected some few of them; therein fanning the old. R. • adding. R.

This collection his LP made out of his memory, without turning any book. R. (Note in margin.)

APOPHTHEGMS NEW AND OLD.

†1. WHEN Queen Elizabeth had advanced Ralegh, she was one day playing on the virginals, and my Lo. of Oxford and another nobleman stood by. It fell out so, that the ledge before the jacks was taken away, so as the jacks were seen: My Lo. of Oxford and the other nobleman smiled, and a little whispered: The Queen marked it, and would needs know What the matter was? My Lo. of Oxford answered; That they smiled to see that when Jacks went up Heads went down.

2. (16.) Henry the Fourth of France his Queen was great1 with child. Count Soissons, that had his expectation upon the crown, when it was twice or thrice thought that the Queen was with child before, said to some of his friends, That it was but with a pillow. This had some ways come to the King's ear; who kept it till when the Queen waxed great; called3 the Count Soissons to him, and said, laying his hand upon the Queen's belly, Come, cousin, it is no pillow. Yes, Sir, (answered the Count of Soissons,) it is a pillow for all France to sleep upon.

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3. (26.) There was a conference in Parliament between the Upper house and the Lower 6, about a Bill of Accountants, which came down from the Lords to the Commons; which bill prayed, that the lands of accountants, whereof they were seized when they entered upon their office, mought be liable to their arrears to the Queen. But the Commons desired that the bill mought not look back to accountants that were already, but extend only to accountants hereafter. But the Lo. Treasurer said, Why, I pray', if you had lost your purse by the way, would you look forwards, or would you look back? The Queen hath lost her purse. 4. (1.) Queen Elizabeth, the morrow of her coronation, went to the chapel; and in the great chamber, Sir John Rainsford, set on by wiser men, (a knight that had the liberty of a buffone,)

young.

R.

4 is this a pillow?

R.

Then he called. The C. of S. answered, Yes Sir, &c. • between the Lords' House and the House of Commons. R. 7 I pray you. R.

2 such time as. R.

R.
R.

besought the Queen aloud; That now this good time when prisoners were delivered, four prisoners amongst the rest mought likewise have their liberty, who were like enough to be kept still in hold. The Queen asked; Who they were? And he said; Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, who had long been imprisoned in the Latin tongue; and now he desired they mought go abroad among the people in English. The Queen answered, with a grave countenance; It were good (Rainsford) they were spoken with themselves, to know of them whether they would be set at liberty?1

5. (29.) The Lo. Keeper, Sir Nicholas Bacon, was asked his opinion by Queen Elizabeth of one of these Monopoly Licences. And he answered; Will you have me speak truth, Madam? Licentiâ omnes deteriores sumus: We are all the worse for a licence.2

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6. (206.) Pace, the bitter Fool, was not suffered to come at the Queen3, because of his bitter humour. Yet at one time some persuaded the Queen that he should come to her; undertaking for him that he should keep compass. So he was brought to her, and the Queen said: Come on, Pace; now we shall hear of our faults. Saith Pace; I do not use to talk of that that all the town talks of.

7. (30.) My Lo. of Essex, at the succour of Rhoan, made twenty-four knights, which at that time was a great matter." Divers of those gentlemen were of weak and small means; which when Queen Elizabeth heard, she said, My Lo. mought have done well to have built his alms-house before he made his knights.

†8. A great officer in France was in danger to have lost his place; but his wife, by her suit and means making, made his peace; whereupon a pleasant fellow said, That he had been crushed, but that he saved himself upon his horns.

9. (2.) Queen Anne Bullen, at the time when she was led to

1 Queen Elizabeth, the morrow of her coronation; (it being the custom to release prisoners at the inauguration of a prince;) went to the Chapel; and in the Great Chamber, one of her courtiers who was well known to her, either out of his own motion, or by the instigation of a wiser man, presented her with a petition; and before a great number of courtiers besought her with a loud voice; That now this good time there might be four or five principal prisoners more released; those were the four Evangelists and the Apostle Saint Paul, who had been long shut up in an unknown tongue, as it were in prison; so as they could not converse with the common people. The Queen answered very gravely; That it was best first to enquire of them, whether they would be released or no. R.

.2 for licences.

4 within compass.

R.
R.

3 at Queen Elizabeth. R. 5 number.

R.

be beheaded in the Tower, called one of the King's privy chamber to her, and said to him; Commend me to the King, and tell him he is1 constant in his course of advancing me. From a private gentlewoman he made me a marquisse2; and from a marquisse2 a queen; and now he had left3 no higher degree of earthly honour, he hath made me a martyr.1

10. (207.) Bishop Latimer said, in a sermon at court; That he heard great speech that the King was poor and many ways were propounded to make him rich: For his part he had thought of one way, which was, that they should help the King to some good office, for all his officers were rich.

11. (122.) Cæsar Borgia, after long division between him and the Lords of Romagna, fell to accord with them. In this accord there was an article, that he should not call them at any time all together in person: The meaning was, that knowing his dangerous nature, if he meant them treason, some one mought be free to revenge the rest. Nevertheless he did with such art and fair usage win their confidence, that he brought them all together to counsel at Sinigalia; where he murthered them all. This act, when it was related unto Pope Alexander his father by a Cardinal, as a thing happy, but very perfidious, the Pope said; It was they that had broke their covenant first, in coming all together.

12. (54.) Pope Julius the third, when he was made Pope, gave his hat unto a youth, a favourite of his, with great scandal. Whereupon at one time a Cardinal, that mought be free with him, said modestly to him: What did your Holiness see in that young man, to make him Cardinal? Julius answered, What did you see in me, to make me Pope?

13. (55.) The same Julius, upon like occasion of speech, why he should bear so great affection to the same young man, would say; That he had found by astrology that it was the youth's destiny to be a great prelate; which was impossible, except himself were Pope; And therefore that he did raise him, as the driver on of his own fortune.

1 hath been ever.

R.

8 now that he hath left.

R.

2 marchioness. R.

he intends to crown my innocency with the glory of martyrdom. R.

he mought [q3 mought not?] have opportunity to oppress them altogether at once. R.

• he used such fine art and fair carriage that he won their confidence to meet altogether in counsel at Cinigalia.

R.

14. (56.) Sir Thomas Moore had only daughters at the first; and his wife did ever pray for a boy. At last he had a boy; which after, at man's years, proved simple.1 Sir Thomas said to his wife; Thou prayedst so long for a boy, that he will be a boy as long as he lives.

15. (58.) Sir Thomas Moore, the day2 he was beheaded, had a barber sent to him, because his hair was long, which was thought would make him more commiserable3 with the people. The barber came to him and asked him, Whether he would be pleased to be trimmed? In good faith, honest fellow, (said Sir Thomas,) the King and I have a suit for my head, and till the title be cleared I will do no cost upon it.

16. (59.) Stephen Gardiner, Bishop of Winchester, a great champion of the Papists, was wont to say of the Protestants, who ground upon the Scripture, That they were like posts, that bring truth in their letters, and lies in their mouths.

17. (125.) The Lacedæmonians were besieged by the Athenians in the Fort of Peile; which was won, and some slain and some taken. There was one said to one of them that was taken, by way of scorn, Were not they brave men that lost their lives at the Fort' of Peile? He answered, Certainly a Persian arrow is much to be set by, if it can choose out a brave man.

arms.

18. (208.) After the defeat of Cyrus the younger, Falinus was sent by the King to the Grecians, (who had for their part rather victory than otherwise,) to command them to yield their Which when it was denied, Falinus said to Clearchus; Well then, the King lets you know, that if you remove from the place where you are are now encamped, it is war: if you stay, it is truce. What shall I say you will do? Clearchus answered, It pleaseth us as it pleaseth the King. How is that? saith Falinus. Saith Clearchus, If we remove, war: if we stay, truce. And so would not disclose his purpose.

19. (126.) Clodius was acquit by a corrupt jury, that had palpably taken shares of money. Before they gave up their verdict, they prayed of the Senate a guard, that they might do their consciences freely; for Clodius was a very seditious young nobleman. Whereupon all the world gave him for condemned. But acquitted he was. Catulus, the next day, seeing

1 but simple. R.

the Popish religion. R.

2 on the day that.

R.

a commiserated. R. 5 Port. R. Phyle? or Pylus ?

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