TO MY WIFE, MILDRED
(October 22, 1891)
Dear wife, there is no word in all my songs
But unto thee belongs :
Though I indeed before our true day came
Mistook thy star in many a wandering flame,
Singing to thee in many a fair disguise,
Calling to thee in many another's name
Before I knew thine everlasting eyes.
Faces that fled me like a hunted fawn
I followed singing, deeming it was Thou,
Seeking this face that on our pillow now
Glimmers behind thy golden hair like dawn,
And, like a setting moon, within my breast
Sinks down each night to rest.
Moon follows moon before the great moon flowers,
Moon of the wild, wild honey that is ours;
Long must the tree strive up in leaf and root
Before it bear the golden-hearted fruit:
And shall great Love at once perfected spring,
Nor grow by steps like any other thing?
The lawless love that would not be denied,
The love that waited, and in waiting died,
The love that met and mated, satisfied.
Ah, love, 'twas good to climb forbidden walls,
Who would not follow where his Juliet calls?
"Twas good to try and love the angel's way,
With starry souls untainted of the clay;
But best the love where earth and heaven meet
The God made flesh and dwelling in us, Sweet,
[Marpessa, wooed by Apollo and Idas, determines to accept her mortal lover.]
"But if I live with Idas, then we two
On the low earth shall prosper, hand in hand,
In odours of the open field, and live
In peaceful noises of the farm, and watch
The pastoral fields burned by the setting sun.
And he shall give me passionate children, not
Some radiant god that will despise me quite,
But clambering limbs and little hearts that err.
And I shall sleep beside him in the night,
And, fearful from some dream, shall touch his hand,
Secure; or at some festival we two
Will wander through the lighted city streets;
And in the crowd I'll take his arm and feel
Him closer for the press. So shall we live.
And though the first sweet sting of love be past
The sweet that almost venom is, though youth,
With tender and extravagant delight,
The first and secret kiss by twilight hedge,
The insane farewell repeated o'er and o'er,
Pass off; there shall succeed a faithful peace;
Beautiful friendship tried by sun and wind,
Durable from the daily dust of life.
And though with sadder, still with kinder eyes,
We shall behold all frailties, we shall haste
To pardon, and with mellowing minds to bless.
Then though we must grow old, we shall grow old
Together, and he shall not greatly miss
My faded bloom, and waning light of eyes,
Too deeply gazed in ever to seem dim;
Nor shall we murmur at, nor much regret
The years that gently bend us to the ground,
And gradually incline our face; that we
Leisurely stooping, and with each slow step,
May curiously inspect our lasting home.
But we shall sit with luminous holy smiles,
Endeared by many griefs, by many a jest,
And custom sweet of living side by side;
And full of memories not unkindly glance
Upon each other. Last, we shall descend
Into the natural ground-not without tears-
One must go first, ah God! one must go first;
After so long one blow for both were good;
Still, like old friends, glad to have met, and leave
Behind a wholesome memory on the earth.
And thou, beautiful God, in that far time,
When in thy setting sweet thou gazest down
On this grey head, wilt thou remember then
That once I pleased thee, that I once was young?"
When she had spoken, Idas with one cry
Held her, and there was silence; while the God
In anger disappeared. Then slowly they,
He looking downward, and she gazing up,
Into the evening green wandered away.
FROM "PAOLO AND FRANCESCA "
I have fled from her; have refused the rose,
Although my brain was reeling at the scent.
I have come hither as through pains of death;
I have died, and I am gazing back at life.
Yet now it were so easy to return,
And run down the white road to Rimini !
And might I not return?
(He starts up and looks at the towers, red with sunset.)
Are burning! they catch fire, those parapets!
And through the blaze doth her white face look out
Like one forgot, yet possible to save.
Might I not then return? Ah, no! no! no!
For I should tremble to be touched by her,
And dread the music of her mere good-night
Howe'er I sentinelled my bosom, yet
That moment would arrive when instantly
Our souls would flash together in one flame,
And I should pour this torrent in her ear
And suddenly catch her to my heart.
Lo! the chief builders, masons, engineers,
Who made at thy command the sea-coast ring
From Gaza northward unto Cæsarea.
O King, since thou wast sick all idle stands
In scaffolded and roofless interruption,
An unborn desolation of blank stone,
Bird-haunted as a dead metropolis.
I will create a city of my own;
And therefore with sea-thwarting bastions
And mighty moles will make impregnable
That beach where Cæsarea shall arise.
(He passes his hand over his brow.)
How easy this! Yet against flooding thoughts(Turns to the Court.)
Well, well, a harbour then for every nation,
Whereon shall ride the navies of the world.
There vessels from the sunset shall unlade;
The harbour one vast bosom shall become
For towering galleons of the ocean weary;
For driven things a place of rest.
Rest-rest-
Go, tell the queen that I would speak to her.
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