convey the thoughts of the mind under resemblances once for all, turn your eyes where you please, yoa Molle meum levibus cor est violabile telts Ovin. Ep. xv. 79 Cupid's light darts my tender boson move --Port THE case of my correspondent. who sends me the following letter, has somewhat in it so very whimsical, that I know not how to entertain my readets better than by laying it before them. "SIR, Middle Temple, Sept. 18. The absurdity in this instance is obvious. And yet every time that clashing metaphors are put together, this fault is committed more or less. It hath already been said, that metaphors are images of things which affect the senses. An image, therefore, taken from what acts upon the sight, cannot, without violence, be applied to the hearing; and so of "I am fully convinced that there is not upon the rest. It is no less an impropriety to make any earth a more impertinent creature than an impr being in nature or art to do things in its metaphorical tunate lover. We are daily complaining of the a state, which it could not do in its original. I shall verity of our fate to people who are wholly an onillustrate what I have said by an instance which I cerned in it; and hourly improving a passion, which have read more than once in controversial writers. we would persuade the world is the terment of cur "The heavy lashes," saith a celebrated author, lives. Notwithstanding this reflection, Sir, I cas"that have dropped from your pen," &c. I sup- not forbear acquainting you with my own case. You pose this gentleman having frequently heard of must know then, Sir, that, even from my childhood. gall dropping from a pen, and being lashed in a the most prevailing inclination I could perceive is satire," he was resolved to have them both at any myself was a strong desire to be in favour with the rate, and so uttered this complete piece of nonsense. fair sex. I am at present in the one-and-twentien It will most effectually discover the absurdity of year of my age; and should have made choice of a these monstrous unions, if we will suppose these she bedfellow many years since, bad not my father, metaphors or images actually painted. Imagine who has a pretty good estate of his own getting, au then a hand holding a pen, and several lashes of passes in the world for a prudent man, been pleased whipcord falling from it, and you have the true re- to lay it down as a maxim, that nothing spots a presentation of this sort of eloquence. I believe, young fellow's fortune so soon as marrying early; by this very rule, a reader may be able to judge of and that no man ought to think of wedlock unt... the union of all metaphors whatsoever, and deter- six-and-twenty. Knowing his sentiments upon this mine which are homogeneous, and which are hete-head, I thought it in vain to apply myself to worsen rogeneous; or to speak more plainly, which are of condition, who expect settlements; so that al consistent and which inconsistent. my amours have hitherto been with ladies who led no fortunes: but I know not how to give you good an idea of me, as by laying before you the history of my life. There is yet one evil more which I must take notice of, and that is the running of metaphors into tedious allegories; which, though an error on the better hand, causes confusion as much as the other. This becomes abominable, when the lustre of one word leads a writer out of his road, and makes him wander from his subject for a page together. I remember a young fellow of this turn, who, having said by chance that his mistress had a world of charms, thereupon took occasion to consider her as one possessed of frigid and torrid zones, and pursued her from the one pole to the other. I shall conclude this paper with a letter written in that enormous style, which I hope my reader hath by this time set his heart against. The epistle hath heretofore received great applause; but after what hath been said, let any man commend it if he dare. Sth, "After the many heavy lashes that have fallen from your pen, you may justly expect in return all the load that my ink can lay upon your shoulders. You have quartered all the foul language upon me that could be raked out of the air of Billingsgate, without knowing who I am, or whether I deserved to be cupped and scarified at this rate. I tell you "I can very well remember, that at my sch mistress's, whenever we broke up, I was always joining myself with the miss who lay-in, and was constantly one of the first to make a party in play of Husband and Wife. This passion for beat well with the females still increased as I advanced in years. At the dancing-school I contracted w many quarrels by struggling with my fellowsh lars for the partner I liked best, that upon a Dair night, before our mothers made their appearance i was usually up to the nose in blood." "My fatz like a discreet man, soon removed me from stage of softness to a school of discipline, were learn: Latin and Greek. I underwent severa verities in this place, until it was thought convert to send me to the university: though, to confess 2 truth, I should not have arrived so early at that seat of learning, but from the discovery of s trigue between me and my master's housekee upon whom I had employed my rhetoric an ed ally, that, though she was a very elderly la.. 154 almost brought her to consent to marry me. г my arrival at Oxford, I found logic so ary, im instead of giving attention to the dead, I soon fell To addressing the living. My first amour was with a pretty girl whom I shall call Parthenope: her mother sold ale by the town-wall. Being often caught there by the proctor, I was forced at last, that my mistress's reputation might receive no blemish, to confess my addresses were honourable. Upon this I was immediately sent home; but Parthenope soon after marrying a shoemaker, I was again suffered to return. My next affair was with my tailor's daughter, who deserted me for the sake of a young barber. Upon my complaining to one of my particular friends of this misfortune, the cruel wag made a mere jest of my calamity, and asked me with a smile, where the needie should turn but to the pole?* After this I was deeply in love with a milliner, aud at last with my bed-maker; upon which I was sent away, or, in the university phrase, rusticated for ever. "Upon my coming home, I settled to my studies so heartily, and contracted so great a reservedness by being kept from the company I most affected, that my father thought he night venture me at the Temple. 66 engaged in during that moonshine in the brain. I shall lay before my readers an abridgment of some few of their extravagancies, in hopes that they will in time accustom themselves to dream a little more to the purpose. One, who styles himself Gladio, complains heavily that his fair one charges him with inconstancy, and does not use him with half the kindness which the sincerity of his passion may demand; the said Gladio having by valour and stratagen put to death tyrants, enchanters, monsters, knights, &c. without number, and exposed himself to all manner of dangers for her sake and safety. He desires in his postscript to know whether, from a constant success in them, he may not promise himself to succeed in her esteem at last. ber had not brought him a reprieve. This fellow, too, wants Mr. Shadow's advice; who, I dare say, would bid him be content to rise after his first nap, and learn to be satisfied as soon as nature is. Another, who is very prolix in his narrative, writes me word, that having sent a venture beyond sea, he took occasion one night to fancy himself gone along with it, and grown on a sudden the richest man in all the Indies. Having been there about a year or two, a gust of wind, that forced open his casement, blew him over to his native country again, where awaking at six o'clock, and Within a week after my arrival, I began to the change of the air not agreeing with him, he shine again, and became enamoured with a mighty turned to his left side in order to a second voyage; pretty creature, who had every thing but money to but ere he could get on shipboard, was unfortu recommend her. Having frequent opportunities of nately apprehended for stealing a horse, tried and uttering all the soft things which a heart formed for condemned for the fact, and in a fair way of being love could inspire me with, I soon gained her cou-executed, if somebody stepping hastily into his chainsent to treat of marriage; but unfortunately for us all, in the absence of my charmer I usually talked the same language to her eldest sister, who is also very pretty. Now I assure you, Mr. Spectator, this did not proceed from any real affection I had conceived for her; but, being a perfect stranger to the conversation of men, and strongly addicted to associate with the women, I knew no other lan. guage but that of love. I should, however, be very much obliged to you if you could free me from the perplexity I am at present in. I have sent word to my old gentleman in the country that I am desperately in love with the younger sister; and her father, who knew no better, poor man, acquainted him by the same post, that I had for some time made my addresses to the elder. Upon this, old Testy sends me up word, that he has heard so much of my exploits, that he intends immediately to order me to the South-sea. Sir, I have occasionally talked so much of dying, that I begin to think there is not much in it; and if the old 'squire persists in his design, I do hereby give him notice that I am providing myself with proper instruments for the destruction of despairing lovers: let him therefore look to it, and consider that by his obstinacy he may himself lose the son of his strength, the world a hopeful lawyer, my mistress a passionate lover, and you, Mr. Spectator, "Your constant Admirer, "JEREMY LOVEMORE." No. 597.] WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 22, 1714. Mens sine pondere ludit.-PETR. The mind uncumber'd plays. SINCE I received my friend Shadow's letter, several of my correspondents have been pleased to send me an account how they have been employed in sleep, and what notable adventures they have been The common sign of a barber's shop The next is a public-spirited gentleman, who tells me, that on the second of September at night the whole city was on fire, and would certainly have been reduced to ashes again by this time, if he had not flown over it with the New River on his back, and happily extinguished the flames before they had prevailed too far. He would be informed whether he has not a right to petition the lord mayor and aldermen for a reward. A letter, dated September the 9th, acquaints me, that the writer, being resolved to try his fortune, had fasted all that day; and, that he might be sure of dreaming upon something at night, procurea a handsome slice of bride-cake, which he placed very conveniently under his pillow. In the morning his memory happened to fail him, and he could recollect nothing but an odd fancy that he had eaten his cake: which being found upon search reduced to a few crumbs, he is resolved to remember more of his dreams another time, believing from this that there may possibly be somewhat of truth in them, I have received numerous complaints from several delicious dreamers, desiring me to invent some me. thod of silencing those noisy slaves whose occupations lead them to take their early rounds about the city in a morning, doing a deal of mischief, and working strange confusion in the affairs of its inhabitants. Several monarchs have done me the honour to acquaint me how often they have been shook from their respective thrones by the rattling of a coach or the rumbling of a wheelbarrow. And many private gentlemen, I find, have been bawled out of vast estates by fellows not worth three-pence. A fair lady was just on the point of being married to a young, handsome, rich, ingenious nobleman, when an impertinent tinker passing by forbid the baus; and a hopeful youth, who had been newly advanced to great honour and preferment, was forced by a neighbouring cobbler to resign all for an old song. all its extravagancies, whether in sleeping or waking, It has been represented to me that those incon- is no improper method of correcting and bringing siderable rascals do nothing but go about dissolving it to act in subordinacy to reason, so as to be de of marriages, and spoiling of fortunes, impoverish-lighted only with such objects as will affect it with ing rich, and ruining great people, interrupting pleasure when it is never so cold and sedate. beauties in the midst of their conquests, and generals in the course of their victories. A boisterous peripatetic hardly goes through a street without waking half a dozen kings and princes, to open their shops or clean shoes, frequently transforming sceptres into paring-shovels, and proclamations into bills. I have by me a letter from a young statesman, who in five or six hours came to be emperor of Europe, after which he made war upon the Great Turk, routed him horse and foot, and was crowned lord of the universe in Constantinople: the conclusion of all his successes is, that on the 12th instant, about seven in the morning, his imperial majesty was deposed by a chimney-sweeper. On the other hand, I have epistolary testimonies of gratitude from many miserable people, who owe to this clamorous tribe frequent deliverances from great misfortunes. A small-coalman, by waking one of these distressed gentlemen, saved him from ten years' imprisonment. An honest watchman, bidding a loud good-morrow to another, freed him from the malice of many potent enemies, and brought all their designs against him to nothing. A certain valetudinarian confesses he has often been cured of a sore throat by the hoarseness of a carman, and relieved from a fit of the gout by the sound of old shoes. A noisy puppy, that plagued a sober gentleman all night long with his impertinence, was silenced by a cinder-wench with a word speaking. Instead, therefore, of suppressing this order of mortals, I would propose it to my readers to make the best advantage of their morning salutations. A famous Macedonian prince, for fear of forgetting himself in the midst of his good fortune, had a youth to wait on him every morning, and bid him remember that he was a man. A citizen who is waked by one of these criers, may regard him as a kind of remembrancer, come to admonish him that it is time to return to the circumstances he has overlooked all the night time, to leave off fancying himself what he is not, and prepare to act suitably to the condition he is really placed in. People may dream on as long as they please, but I shall take no notice of any imaginary adventures that do not happen while the sun is on this side the horizon. For which reason I stifle Fritilla's dream at church last Sunday, who, while the rest of the audience were enjoying the benefit of an excellent discourse, was losing her money and jewels to a gentleman at play, until after a strange run of ill-luck she was reduced to pawn three lovely pretty children for her last stake. When she had thrown them away, her companion went off, discovering himself, by his usual tokens, a cloven foot and a strong smell of brimstone, which last proved only a bottle of spirits, which a good old lady applied to her nose, to put her in a condition of hearing the preacher's third head concerning time. If a man has no mind to pass abruptly from his imagined to his real circumstances, he may employ himself awhile in that new kind of observation which my oneirocritical correspondent has directed him to make of himself. Pursuing the imagination through • Sir John Hawkins's Hist. of Music, vol. v. p. 70. The Beine of uns famous musical man was Thom Britton. No. 598.] FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 1714 Will ye not now the pair of sages praise, The merry part of the world are very amiable, while they diffuse a cheerfulness through convers tion at proper seasons and on proper occasions; bat on the contrary, a great grievance to society when they infect every discourse with insipid mirth, and turn into ridicule such subjects as are not suited to it. For though laughter is looked upon by the ph losophers as the property of reason, the excess of it has been always considered as the mark of folly. On the other side, seriousness has its beauty whilst it is attended with cheerfulness and humanity, an does not come in unseasonably to pall the good humour of those with whom we converse. These two sets of men, notwithstanding that each of them shine in their respective characters, are apt to bear a natural aversion and antipathy to our another. What is more usual than to hear men of serom tempers, and austere morals, enlarging upon the vanities and follies of the young and gay part of the species, whilst they look with a kind of horror up. such pomps and diversions as are innocent in thes selves, and only culpable when they draw the mus too much? I could not but smile upon reading a passage a the account which Mr. Baxter gives of his own be wherein he represents it as a great blessing that e his youth he very narrowly escaped getting a place at court. It must indeed be confessed that levity of temps takes a man off his puard, and opens a pass to bo soul for any temptation that assaults it. It far all the approaches of vice, and weakens all t resistance of virtue; for which reason a remoaDNÍ statesman in Queen Elizabeth's days, after havag retired from court and public business, in order t give himself up to the duties of religion, when aty of his old friends used to visit him, had still the word of advice in his mouth, “Be serious.” Au eminent Italian author of this east of speaking of the great advantage of a serious an composed temper, wishes very gravely, that for the benefit of mankind he had Trophonius's cave in ko possession; which, says he, would coutrilate we to the reormation of manuers than all the wurkhouses and bridewells in Europe. We have a very particular description of th cave in Pausanias, who tells us that it was made the form of a buge oven, and had mroy para 1 circumstances, which disposed the person who was in it to be more pensive and thoughtful than ordinary; insomach, that no man was ever observed to laugh all his life after, who had once made his entry into this cave. It was usual in those times, when any one carried a more than ordinary gloominess in his features, to tell him that he looked like one just come out of Trophonias's cave. On the other hand, writers of a more merry complexion have been no less severe on the opposite party; and have had one advantage above them, that they have attacked them with more turns of wit and humour, After all, if a man's temper were at his own disposal, I think he would not choose to be of either of these parties; since the most perfect character is that which is formed out of both of them. A man would neither choose to be a hermit or a buffoon: human nature is not so miserable, as that we should be always melancholy; nor so happy, as that we should be always merry. In a word, a man should not live as if there was no God in the world, nor, at the same time, as if there were no men in it. No. 599.] MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 1714. Ubique again into day light, you would have fancied my cave to have been a nunnery, and that you had seen a solemn procession of religious marching out, one behind another, in the most profound silence and the most exemplary decency. As I was very much delighted with so edifying a sight, there came towards me a great company of males and females, laughing, singing, and dancing, in such a manner, that I could hear them a great while before I saw them. Upon my asking their leader what brought them thither? they told me all at once that they were French Protestants lately arrived in Great Britain; and that, finding themselves of too gay a humour for my country, they applied themselves to me in order to compose them for British conversation. I told them that, to oblige them, I would soon spoil their mirth; upon which, I admitte a whole shoal of them, who, after having taken a survey of the place, came out in very good order, and with looks entirely English. I afterwards put in a Dutchman, who had a great fancy to see the kelder, as he called it; but I could not observe that it had made any manner of alteration in him. A comedian, who had gained great reputation in parts of humour, told me that he had a mighty mind to act Alexander the Great, and fancied that he should succeed very well in it, if he could strike two or three laughing features out of his face. He tried the experiment, but contracted so very solid a look by it, that I am afraid he will be fit for no part hereafter but a Timon of Athens, or a mute in The Funeral. I then clapped up an empty fantastic citizen, in order to qualify him for an alderman. He was succeeded by a young rake of the Middle Temple, who was brought to me by his grandmother; but, to her great sorrow and surprise, he came out Quaker. Seeing myself surrounded with a body o Freethinkers and scoffers at religion, who were making themselves merry at the sober looks and thoughtful brows of those who had been in the cave, I thrust them all in, one after another, and locked the door upon them. Upon my opening it, they all looked as if they had been frightened out of their wits, and were marching away with ropes in their hands to a wood that was within sight of the place. I found they were not able to bear themselves in their first serious thoughts; but, knowing these would quickly bring them to a better frame of mind, I gave them into the custody of their friends until that happy change was wrought in them. Luctus, ubique pavor-VIRG. Æn. ii. 369. All parts resound with tumults, plaints, and fears—DRYDEN. Ir has been my custom, as I grow old, to allow myself in some little indulgencies, which I never took in my youth. Among others is that of an afternoon's nap, which I fell into in the fifty-fifth year of my age, and have continued for the three last years past. By this means, I enjoy a double morning, and rise twice a day fresh to my speculations. It happens very luckily for me, that some of my dreams have proved instructive to my countrymen, so that I may be said to sleep, as well as to wake, for the good of the public. I was yesterday meditating on the account with which I have already entertained my readers concerning the cave of Trophonius. I was no sooner fallen into my usual slumber, but I dreamed that this cave was put into my possession, and that I gave public notice of its virtue, inviting every one to it who had a mind to be a serious man for the remaining part of his life. Great multitudes immediately resorted to me. The first who made the experiment was a merry-andrew, who was put into my hands by a neighbouring justice of the peace, in order to reclaim him from The last that was brought to me was a young that profligate kind of life. Poor pickle-herring woman, who at the first sight of my short face fell had not taken above one turn in it, when he came into an immoderate fit of laughter, and was forced out of the cave, like a hermit from his cell, with a to hold her sides all the while her mother was speakpenitential look and a most rueful countenance. Iing to me. Upon this, I interrupted the old lady, then put in a young laughing fop, and watching for and taking the daughter by the hand, “Madam,” his return, asked him, with a smile, how he liked said I, "be pleased to retire into my closet, while the place? He replied, "Pr'ythee, friend, be not your mother tells me your case." I then put her impertinent;" and stalked by me as grave as a into the mouth of the cave; when the mother, after judge. A citizen then desired me to give free in-having begged pardon for the girl's udeness, told gress and cgress to his wife, who was dressed in theme that she often treated her father and the gravest gayest-coloured ribands I had ever seen. She went of her relations in the same manner; that she would in with a flirt of her fan and a smirking countenance, sit giggling and laughing with her companions from but came out with the severity of a vestal; and throwing from her several female gewgaws, told me with a sigh, that she resolved to go into deep mourn ing, and to wear black all the rest of her life. As I hai many coquettes recommended to me by their parents, their husbands, and their lovers, I let them in all at once, desiring them to divert themselves together as well as they could. Upon their emerging one end of a tragedy to the other; nay, that she would sometimes burst out in the middle of a sermon, and set the whole congregation a-staring at her. The mother was going on, when the young lady came out of the cave to us with a composed countenance and a low curtsey. She was a girl of such exuberant mirth, that her visit to Trophonius only reduced her to a more than ordinary decency of behaviour, and made a very pretty rude of her. After having performed innumerable cures, I looked, about me with great satisfaction, and saw all my patients walking by themselves in a very pensive and musing posture, so that the whole place seemed covered with philosophers. I was at length resolved to go into the cave myself, and see what it was that had produced such wonderful effects upon the company: but as I was stooping at the entrance, the door being something low, I gave such a nod in my chair that I awaked. After having recovered myself from my first startle, I was very well pleased at the accident which had betallen me, as not knowing but a little stay in the place might have sponed my Spectators. No. 600.] WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 29, 1714. Solemque suum, sua sidera norunt-VIRG. Æn. vi. 641. Stars of their own, and their own suns they know -DRYDEN. Being on a human soul. It has als, like mog I HAVE always taken a particular pleasure in ex-is more to be considered, the soul is capable of reamining the opinions which men of different reli-ceiving a most exquisite pleasure and satisfaction gions, different ages, and different countries, have entertained concerning the immortality of the soul, and the state of happiness which they promise themselves in another world. For whatever prejudices and errors human nature lies under, we find that either reason, or tradition from our first parents, has discovered to all people something in these great points which bears analogy to truth, and to the doctrines opened to us by divine revelation. I was lately discoursing on this subject with a learned person who has been very much conversant among the inhabitants of the more western parts of Africa. Upon his conversing with several in that country, he tells me that their notion of heaven or of a future state of happiness is this, that every thing we there :ish for, will immediately present itself to us. We And, say they, our souls are of such a nature that they require variety, and are not capable of being always delighted with the same objects. The Supreme Being, therefore, in compliance with this taste of happiness which he has planted in the soul of man, will raise up from time to time, say they, every gratification which it is in the humour to be pleased with. If we wish to be in groves or bowers, among running streams or falls of water, we shall immediately find ourselves in the midst of such a scene as we desire. If we would be entertained with music and the melody of sounds, the concert rises upon our wish, and the whole region about us is filled with harmony. In short, every desire will be followed by fruition; and whatever a man's inclination directs him to will be present with him. Nor is it material whether the Supreme Power creates in conformity to our wishes, or whether he only produces such a change in our imagination as makes us believe ourselves conversant among those scenes which delight us. Our happiness will be the same, whether it proceed from external objects, or from the impressions of the Deity upon our own private fancies. This is the account which I have received from my learned friend. Notwithstanding this system of belief be in general very chimerical and visionary, there is something sublime in its manner of considering the influence of a Divine from the exercise of any of these its powers, when The person alluded to here was probably Dean Lancelot Addison, diuinis per Europam Africamque peregrinationibus, rerum peritia spectrums." This amiable clergyman, the father of the author of this paper, published An Account of West Barbary, &c We are likewise to take notice that every parti cular faculty is capable of being employed on a very great variety of objects. The understanding, for example, may be happy in the contemplation of moral, natural, mathematical, and other kinds of truth. The memory, likewise, may turn itself to an infinite multitude of objects, especially when the soul shall have passed through the space of many millions of years, and shall reflect with pleasure où the days of eternity. Every other faculty may be considered in the same extent. We cannot question but that the happiness of a soul will be adequate to its nature; and that it s not endowed with any faculties which are to lie use less and unemployed. The happiness is to be the happiness of the whole man; and we may easiy conceive to ourselves the happiness of the soul whist any one of its faculties is in the fruition of its chief good. The happiness may be of a more exalted nature in proportion as the faculty employed is so but, as the whole soul acts in the exertion of any of its particular powers, the whole soul is happy in the pleasure which arises from any of its particular acts For, notwithstanding, as has been before hunted, and as it has been taken notice of by one of the greatest modern philosophers, we divide the sa into several powers and faculties, there is no such division in the soul itself, since it is the whole sea that remembers, understands, wills, or imagines • Locke |