His birth and parentage, with fome account of the operations of divine grace on his mind in bis youth-His first appearance in the miniFry And his confiderations, while young, on the keeping of flaves.

HAVE often felt a motion of love to leave some hints in writing of my experience of the goodness of God; and now, in the thirty-fixth year of my age, I begin this work.

I was born in Northampton, in Burlington county, Weft-Jerfey, in the year 1720; and before I was feven years old I began to

be acquainted with the operations of divine love. Through the care of my parents, I was taught to read nearly as soon as I was capable of it; and, as I went from school one feventh day, I remember, while my companions went to play by the way, I went forward out of fight, and, fitting down, I read the 22d chapter of the Revelations. "He fhewed me a pure river of water of life, clear as chryf"tal, proceeding out of the throne of God "and of the Lamb, &c." and, in reading it, my mind was drawn to feek after that pure habitation, which, I then believed, God had prepared for his fervants. The place where I fat, and the fweetnefs that attended my mind, remain fresh in my memory.

This, and the like gracious vifitations, had that effect upon me, that, when boys ufed ill language, it troubled me; and, through the continued mercies of God, I was preserved from it.

The pious inftructions of my parents were often fresh in my mind when I happened to be among wicked children, and were of ufe to me. My parents, having a large family of children, ufed frequently, on first days, after meeting, to put us to read in the holy fcriptures, or fome religious books, one after another, the reft fitting by without much converfation; which, I have fince often thought, was a good practice. From what I had read and heard, I believed there had been, in past ages, people who walked in uprightness before God, in a degree, exceeding any that I knew, or

heard

heard of, now living and the apprehenfion of there being lefs fteadiness and firmness, amongst people in this age than in past ages, often troubled me while I was a child.

A thing remarkable in my childhood was, that once, going to a neighbour's house, I faw, on the way, a robin fitting on her neft, and as I came near the went off, but, having young ones, flew about, and with many cries expreffed her concern for them; I ftood and threw ftones at her, till, one ftriking her, fhe fell down dead: at firft I was pleased with the exploit, but after a few minutes was feized with horror, as having, in a fportive way, killed an innocent creature while fhe was careful for her young: I beheld her lying dead, and thought thofe young ones, for which fhe was fo careful, muft now perish for want of their dam to nourish them; and, after fome painful confiderations on the subject, I climbed up the tree, took all the young birds, and killed them; fuppofing that better than to leave them to pine away and die miferably and believed, in this cafe, that scripture-proverb was fulfilled, "The "tender mercies of the wicked are cruel." I then went on my errand, but, for fome hours, could think of little elfe but the cruelties I had commited, and was much troubled. Thus He, whofe tender mercies are over all his works, hath placed a principle in the human mind, which incites to exercife goodness towards every living creature; and, this being fingly attended to, people B 3

become

become tender-hearted and fympathifing but, being frequently and totally rejected, the mind becomes fhut up in a contrary difpo

fition.

About the twelfth year of my age, my father being abroad, my mother reproved me for fome misconduct, to which I made an undutiful reply; and, the next first day, as I was with my father returning from meeting, he told me he understood I had behaved amifs to my mother, and advised me to be more careful in future. I knew myfelf blameable, and in fhame and confufion remained filent. Being thus awakened to a fenfe of my wickedness, I felt remorfe in my mind, and, getting home, I retired and prayed to the Lord to forgive me, and do not remember that I ever, after that, spoke unhandfomely to either of my parents, however foolish in fome other things.

Having attained the age of fixteen years, I began to love wanton company; and though I was preferved from profane language, or fcandalous conduct, ftill I perceived a plant in me which produced much wild grapes; yet my merciful Father forfook me not utterly, but, at times, through his grace, I was brought seriously to confider my ways; and the fight of my backflidings affected me with forrow; but, for want of rightly attending to the reproofs of inftruction, vanity was added to vanity, and repentance to repentance: upon the whole, my mind was more and more alienated from the truth, and I haftened to

ward

ward destruction. While I meditate on the gulph towards which I travelled, and reflect on my youthful disobedience, for these things weep, mine eyes run down with water.

I

!

Advancing in age, the number of my acquaintances increased, and thereby my way grew more difficult though I had found comfort in reading the holy fcripturés, and thinking on heavenly things, I was how eftranged therefrom: I knew I was going from the flock of Chrift, and had no refolu tion to return; hence férious reflections were uneafy to me, and youthful vanities and diverfions my greatest pleasure. Running in this road I found many like myself; and we affociated in that which is reverse to true friendship, b

A

But in this swift race it pleafed God to vi fit me with fickness, fo that I doubted of recovering; and then did darkness, horror, and amazement, with full force, feize me, even when my pain and diftrefs of body was very great. I thought it would have been better for me never to have had a being, than to see the day which I now faw. I was filled with confufion; and in great affliction, both of mind and body, I lay and bewailed myfelf. I had not confidence to lift up my cries to God, whom I had thus offended; but, in a deep fenfe of my great folly, I was humbled before him and, at length, that Word which is as a fire and a hammer, broke and diffolved my rebellious heart, and then my eries were put up in contrition; and in the B 4 multitude