multitude of his mercies I found inward relief, and felt a clofe engagement, that, if he was pleased to restore my health, I might walk humbly before him.

After my recovery, this exercife remained with me a confiderable time; but, by degrees, giving way to youthful vanities, they gained ftrength, and, getting with wanton young people, I loft ground. The Lord had been very gracious, and spoke peace to me in the time of my diftrefs; and I now most ungratefully turned again to folly; on which account, at times, I felt fharp reproof. I was not fo hardy as to commit things fcandalous; but to exceed in vanity, and promote mirth, was my chief ftudy. Still I retained a love for pious people, and their company brought an awe upon me. My dear parents, feveral times, admonished me in the fear of the Lord, and their admonition entered into my heart, and had a good effect for a feafon; but, not getting deep enough to pray rightly, the tempter, when he came, found entrance. I remember once, having spent a part of the day in wantonnefs, as I went to bed at night, there lay in a window, near my bed, a bible, which I opened, and first cast my eye on this text, "we lie down in our ἐσ fhame, and our confufion covers us ;" this I knew to be my cafe: and, meeting with fo unexpected a reproof, I was fomewhat affected with it, and went to bed under remorfe of confcience; which I foon caft off again.

Thus

:: Thus time paffed on: my heart was replenifhed with mirth and wantonnefs, and pleafing scenes of vanity were prefented to my imagination, till I attained the age of eighteen years; near which time I felt the judgements of God, in my foul, like a confuming fire; and, looking over my past life, the profpect was moving. I was often fad, and longed to be delivered from those vanities; then again, my heart was ftrongly inclined to them, and there was in me a fore conflict: at times I turned to folly, and then, again, forrow and confufion took hold of me. In a while, I refolved totally to leave off fome of my vanities; but there was a fecret referve, in my heart, of the more refined part of them, and I was not low enough to find true peace. Thus, for fome months, I had great troubles; there remaining in me an unfubjected will, which rendered my labours fruitless, till at length, through the merciful continuance of heavenly vifitations, I was made to bow down in spirit before the Lord. I remember one evening I had spent some time in reading a pious author; and walking out alone, I humbly prayed to the Lord for his help, that I might be delivered from all thofe vanities which fo enfnared me. Thus, being brought low, he helped me; and, as I learned to bear the cross, I felt refreshment to come from his presence; but, not keeping in that strength which gave victory, I loft groundagain; the fenfe of which greatly affected me: and I fought defarts and lonely places,

and

and there, with tears, did confess my fins to God, and humbly crayed help of him. And, I may fay, with reverence, he was near to the in my troubles, and in those times of humi liation opened my ear to difcipline.. I was now led to look feriously at the means by which I was drawn from the pure truth, and learned this, that, if I would live in the life which the faithful fervants of God lived in, I must not go into company as heretofore in my own will; but all the cravings of fenfe must be governed by a divine principle. In times of forrow and abafement thefe inftruc tions were fealed upon me, and I felt .the power of Chrift prevail over selfish defires, fo that I was preserved in a good degree of stea dinefs; and, being young, and believing, at that time, that a fingle life was best for me, I was strengthened to keep from fuch company as had often been a fnare to me.

I kept steadily to meetings, fpent first days afternoons chiefly in reading the fcriptures and other good books; and was early convinced, in my mind, that true religion confifted in an inward life, wherein the heart doth love and reverence God the Creator, and learns to exercise true justice and goodness, not only to ward all men, but alfo toward the brute crea tures.-That, as the mind was moved, by an inward principle, to love God as an invisible incomprehenfible Being, by the fame principle it was moved to love him in all his manifeftations in the vifible world. That, as by his breath the flame of life was kindled in

all

all animal sensible creatures, to say we love God, and, at the same time, exercise cruelty toward the leaft creature, is a contradiction in itself.

I found no narrowness refpecting sects and opinions, but believed, that fincere uprighthearted people, in every fociety who truly love God, were accepted of him,

As I lived under the crofs, and fimply followed the openings of truth, my mind, from day to day, was more enlightened; my for mer acquaintance were left to judge of me as they would, for I found it fafest for me to live in private, and keep these things fealed up in my own breaft. While I filently ponder on that change wrought in me, I find no language equal to it, nor any means to convey to another a clear idea of it. I looked upon the works of God in this visible creation, and an awfulness covered me; my heart was tender and often contrite, and univerfal love to my fellow-creatures increased in me : this will be understood by fuch as have trodden the fame path. Some glances of real beauty may be seen in their faces, who dwell in true meekness.

There is a harmony in the found of that voice to which divine love gives utterance, and some appearance of right order in their temper and conduct, whofe paffions are regulated; yet all thefe do not fully fhew forth that inward life to fuch as have not felt it: but this white stone and new name is known rightly to fuch only as have it.

Though

L

Though I had been thus ftrengthened to bear the cross, I ftill found myself in great danger, having many weakneffes attending me, and strong temptations to wreftle with; in the feeling whereof I frequently withdrew into private places, and often with tears befought the Lord to help me, whose gracious ear was open to my cry.,

All this time I lived with my parents, and wrought on the plantation; and, having had schooling pretty well for a planter, I used to improve it in winter-evenings, and other leifure times; and, being now in the twentyfirft year of my age, a man, in much bufinefs at fhop-keeping and baking, asked me, if I would hire with him to tend fhop and keep books. I acquainted my father with the propofal; and, after fome deliberation, it was agreed for me to go.

At home I had lived retired; and now, having a profpect of being much in the way of company, I felt frequent and fervent cries in my heart to God, the father of mercies, that he would preferve me from all corruption; that, in this more public employment, I might serve him, my gracious Redeemer, in that humility and felf-denial, with which I had been, in a small degree, exercised in a more private life. The man, who employed me, furnished a fhop in Mount-Holly, about five miles from my father's house, and fix from his own; and there I lived alone, and tended his shop. Shortly after my fettlement here I was vifited by feveral young people,

my