El. Lo. I fear I shall begin my unfortunate journey this night; though the darkness of the night, and the roughness of the waters, might easily dissuade an unwilling man. Savil. Sir, your father's old friends hold it the sounder course for your body and estate to stay at home and marry, and propagate, and govern in your country, than to travel and die without issue. El. Lo. Savil, you shall gain the opinion of a better servant, in seeking to execute, not alter, my will, howsoever my intents succeed. Yo. Lo. Yonder's mistress Younglove, brother, the grave rubber of your mistress's toes. Enter Younglove, or Abigail. El. Lo. Mistress Younglove Abig. Master Loveless, truly we thought your sails had been hoist: My mistress is persuaded you are sea-sick ere this. El. Lo. Loves she her ill-taken-up resolution so dearly? Didst thou move her from me? Abig. By this light that shines, there's no removing her, if she get a stiff opinion by the end. I attempted her to-day, when, they say, a woman can deny nothing. El. Lo. What critical minute was that? Abig. When her smock was over her ears; but she was no more pliant than if it hung above her heels. El. Lo. I prithee deliver my service, and say, I desire to see the dear cause of my banishment; and then for France. [brother? Abig. I'll do't. Hark hither, is that your El. Lo. Yes; have you lost your memory? Abig. As I live he's a pretty fellow. [Exit. Yo. Lo. Oh, this is a sweet brach.3 El. Lo. Why she knows not you. Yo. Lo. No, but she offer'd me once to know her. To this day she loves youth of eighteen. She heard a tale how Cupid struck her in love with a great lord in the Tilt-yard, but he never saw her; yet she in kindness would needs wear a willow-garland at his wedding. She lov'd all the players in the last queen's time once over; she was struck when they acted lovers, and forsook some when they play'd murderers. She has nine spurroyals, and the servants say she hoards old gold; and she herself pronounces angerly, that the farmer's eldest son (or her mistress's husband's clerk shall be) that marries her, shall make her a jointure of fourscore pounds a-year. She tells tales of the serving-men El. Lo. Enough, I know her. Brother, I shall entreat you only to salute my mistress and take leave; we'll part at the stairs. Enter Lady ond waiting woman. Lady. Now, Sir, this first part of your will is perform'd: What's the rest? El. Lo. First, let me beg your notice for this gentleman, my brother. Lady. I shall take it as a favour done to me. Though the gentleman hath receiv'd but an untimely grace from you, yet my charitable disposition would have been ready to have done him freer courtesies as a stranger, than upon those cold commendations. Yo. Lo. Lady, my salutations crave acquaintance and leave at once. Lady. Sir, I hope you are the master of your own occasions. [Ex. Yo. Lo. and Savil. El. Lo. 'Would I were so. Mistress, for me to praise over again that worth, which all the world, and you yourself can see Lady. It's a cold room this, servant. Lady. What think you if I have a chimney for't, out here? El. Lo. Mistress, another in my place, that were not ty'd to believe all your actions just, would apprehend himself wrong'd: But I, whose virtues are constancy and obedience Lady. Younglove, make a good fire above, to warm me after my servant's exordiums. El. Lo. I have heard and seen your affability to be such, that the servants you give wages to may speak. Lady. 'Tis true, 'tis true; but they speak to th' purpose. El Lo. Mistress, your will leads my speeches from the purpose. But, as a man Lady. A simile, servant! This room was built for honest meaners, that deliver themselves hastily and plainly, and are gone. Is this a time or place for exordiums, and similies, and metaphors? If you have ought to say, break into't: My answers shall very reasonably meet you. El. Lo. Mistress, I came to see you. El. Lo. Yes. Lady. You need not have despair'd of that, nor have us'd so many circumstances to win me to give you leave to perform my command. Is there a third? El. Lo. Yes; I had a third, had you been apt to hear it. [fast! Lady. I never apter. Fast, good servant, El. Lo, 'Twas to intreat you to hear reason. Lady. Most willingly; have you brought one can speak it? 3 O, this is a sweet brache!] A sort of hound, or any little stinking, household cur. Brach is used by Shakespeare to signify a bitch-hound. Mr. Theobald. She has nine spur-ryals.] This was a piece of gold coin, very current in the reign of king James I. Mr. Theobald. El. Lo. Lastly, it is to kindle in that barren heart love and forgiveness. Lady. You would stay at home? Lady. Why, you may, and doubtlessly will, when you have debated that your commander is but your mistress, a woman, a weak one, wildly overborn with passions: But the thing by her commanded is, to see Dover's dreadful Cliff, passing in a poor water-house; the dangers of the merciless Channel 'twixt that and Calais, five long hours' sail, with three poor weeks' victuals.3 El. Lo. You wrong me. Lady. Then, to land dumb, unable to enquire for an English host, to remove from city to city, by most chargeable post-horse, like one that rode in quest of his mother tongue. El. Lo. You wrong me much. Lady. And all these (almost invincible) labours perform'd for your mistress, to be in danger to forsake her, and to put on new allegiance to some French lady, who is content to change language with your laughter; and, after your whole year spent in tennis and broken speech, to stand to the hazard of being laugh'd at, at your return, and have tales made on you by the chambermaids. El. Lo. You wrong me much. El. Lo. You know your least word is of force to make me seek out dangers; move me not with toys. But, in this banishment, I must take leave to say, you are unjust: Was `one kiss forc'd from you in public by me so unpardonable? Why, all the hours of day and night have seen us kiss. Lady. 'Tis true, and so you told the company that heard me chide. [than I. El. Lo. Your own eyes were not dearer to you Lady. And so you told 'em. El. Lo. I did; yet no sign of disgrace need to have stain'd your cheek: You yourself knew your pure and simple heart to be most unspotted, and free from the least baseness. Lady. I did: But if a maid's heart doth but once think that she is suspected, her own face will write her guilty. El. Lo. But where lay this disgrace? the world, that knew us, knew our resolutions well: And could it be hop'd, that I should give away my freedom, and venture a perpe were on; tual bondage with one I never kiss'd; or could I in strict wisdom take too much love upon me, from her that chose me for her husband? Lady. Believe me, if my wedding-smock [come; Were the gloves bought and giv'n, the licence Were the rosemary-branches dipp'd, and all The hippocras and cakes eat and drank off; Were these two arms encompass'd with the hands 6 Of batchelors, to lead me to the church; Were my feet in the door; were' I John' said; If John should boast a favour done by me, Than such a friend. More talk I hold not now. El. Lo. I dare, you know. First, let me kiss. Lady. Farewell, sweet servant. Your task perform'd, On a new ground, as a beginning suitor, 1 shall be apt to hear you. El. Lo. Farewell, cruel mistress! [Exit Lady. Enter Young Loveless and Savil. Yo. Lo. Brother, you'll hazard the losing your tide to Gravesend; you have a long halfmile by land to Greenwich. El. Lo. I go. But, brother, what yetunheard-of course to live doth your imagination flatter you with? Your ordinary means are devour'd. Yo. Lo. Course, why horse-coursing, I think. Consume no time in this; I have no estate to be mended by meditation: He that busies himself about my fortunes, may properly be said to busy himself about nothing. El. Lo. Yet some course you must take, which, for my satisfaction, resolve and open. If you will shape none, I must inform you, that that man but persuades himself he means to live, that imagines not the means. Yo. Lo. Why, live upon others, as others have liv'd upon me. El. Lo. I apprehend not that: You have fed others, and consequently dispos'd of 'em; and the same measure must you expect from 5 Five long hours' sail, with three poor weeks' victuals.] This speech is all through sarcastical. She is bantering her gallant on the supposed danger of his voyage; and the great care he is taking of himself, in laying in three weeks provisions only to cross from Dover to Calais. Mr. Theobald. Where the apprehensive Mr. Theobald acquired information of Loveless having laid in three weeks' provision is unknown to us. Had he not informed us this was the case, we should have supposed the sarcasm levell'd at the generality of puny travellers, not singly at Loveless. 6 Hippocras.] This was a wine spiced and strain'd through a flannel bag, formerly in much request at weddings, wakes, &c. The strainer, we are told, was call'd Hippocrates's sleeve. I know, there is a woollen bag, so call'd, used by the apothecaries to strain syrups and decoctions for clarification. Mr. Theobald. your maintainers; which will be too heavy an alteration for you to bear. Yo. Lo. Why, I'll purse; if that raise me not, I'll bet at bowling-alleys, or man whores:7 I would fain live by others. But I'll live whilst I am unhang'd, and after, the thought's taken. El. Lo. I see you are ty'd to no particular employment, then? Yo. Lo. Faith, I may chuse my course: They say, nature brings forth none but she provides for them: I'll try her liberality. El. Lo. Well, to keep your feet out of base and dangerous paths, I have resolv'd you shall live as master of my house. It shall be your care, Savil, to see him fed and cloath'd, not according to his present estate, but to his birth and former fortunes. Yo. Lo. If it be referr'd to him, if I be not found in carnation Jersey stockings, blue devils' breeches, with the guards down, and my pocket i' th' sleeves, I'll never look you i' the face again. Sav. A comelier wear, I wis, it is than those dangling slops. El. Lo. To keep you ready to do him all service peaceably, and him to command you reasonably, I leave these further directions in writing; which, at your best leisure, together open and read. Enter Abigail to them, with a jewel. Abig. Sir, my mistress commends her love to you in this token, and these words: It is a jewel, she says, which, as a favour from her, she would request you to wear till your year's travel be perform'd; which, once expir'd, she will hastily expect your happy return. El. Lo. Return my service, with such thanks as she may imagine the heart of a suddenly-over-joy'd man would willingly utter: And you, I hope, I shall with slender arguments persuade to wear this diamond; that when my mistress shall, through my long ab sence, and the approach of new suitors, offer to forget me, you may call your eye down to your finger, and remember and speak of me: She will hear thee better than those allied by birth to her; as we see many men much sway'd by the grooms of their chambers; not that they have a greater part of their love or opinion of them, than on others, but for they know their secrets. Abig. O' my credit, I swear I think 'twas made for me: Fear no other suitors. El. Lo. I shall not need to teach you how to discredit their beginning: You know how to take exception at their shirts at washing; or to make the maids swear they found plaisters in their beds. Abig. I know, I know; and do you not fear the suitors. El. Lo Farewell; be mindful, and be happy; the night calls me. [Exeunt omnes præter Abig. Abig. The gods of the winds befriend you, Sir! A constant and liberal lover thou art; more such God send us! Enter Welford. Wel. Let 'em not stand still, we have rid hard.9 [I'll not be seen. Abig. A suitor, I know, by his riding hard; Wel. A pretty hall this: No servant in't? I would look freshly. Abig. You have deliver'd your errand to me, then. There's no danger in a handsome young fellow: I'll shew myself. Wel. Lady, may it please you to bestow upon a stranger the ordinary grace of salutation? Are you the lady of this house? Abig. Sir, I am worthily proud to be a servant of hers. Wel. Lady, I should be as proud to be a servant of yours, did not my so-late acquaintance make me despair. Abig. Sir, it is not so hard to atchieve, but nature may bring it about. 7 Why, I'll purse; if that raise me not, I'll bett at bowling-alleys, or man whores.] . e. I'll take a purse upon the road, or turn bully and stallion to a bawdy-house. Mr. Theobald. The Authors here allude to three of the inost despicable modes of acquiring subsistence to which mankind can be reduced: To be a robber, a gambler, and an attendant of strumpets; for such is the meaning of man whores, and not to be a stallion, as Mr. Theobald supposes. This expression is used by Osborn, in his Advice to his Son, in the following manner. Carry no dogs to court, or any public place, to avoid contests with such as may spurn, or ' endeavour to take them up: The same may be said of boys not wise or strong enough to ⚫ decline or revenge affronts, whose complaints do not seldom engage their masters; as I knew one of quality killed in the defence of his page: The like danger attends such as are so indiscrete, as to man whores in the street, in which every one pretends to have an interest for his money, and therefore unwilling to see them monopolized, especially when they have got a pot in their pate.' She will hastily expect your happy return] All the editions, from that of 1639, downwards, erroneously read happily for hastily; notwithstanding the great difference in the sense. The one word implying, she will be quite easy and contented about your return; the other, she will be impatient for it; in which way we are to understand the passage, as appears by several of the Lady's own speeches. ? Let 'em not stand still, we have rid.] Mr. Seward prescribes the insertion of the word hard, which, probably, has been dropp'd at the press, and seems necessary to the sense. Wel. For these comfortable words, I remain your glad debtor. Is your lady at home? Abig. She is no straggler, Sir. [with her? Wel. May her occasions admit me to speak Abig. If you come in the way of a suitor, no. Wel. I know your affable virtue will be mov'd to persuade her, that a gentleman, benighted and stray'd, offers to be bound to her for a night's lodging. Abig. I will commend this message to her; but if you aim at her body, you will be deluded. Other women of the housholds', of good carriage and government; upon any of which if you can cast your affection, they will perhaps be found as faithful, and not so coy. [Exit Abig. Wel. What a skinfull of lust is this? I thought I had come a-wooing, and I am the courted party. This is right court-fashion; men, women, and all woo; catch that catch may. If this soft-hearted woman have infus'd any of her tenderness into her lady, there is hope she will be pliant. But who's here? Enter Sir Roger. Rog. God save you, Sir! My lady lets you know, she desires to be acquainted with your name, before she confer with you? Wel. Sir, my name calls me Welford. Rog. Sir, you are a gentleman of a good name. I'll try his wit. Wel. I will uphold it as good as any of my ancestors had this two hundred years, Sir. Rog. I knew a worshipful and a religious gentleman of your name in the bishopric of Durham: Call you him cousin? Wel. I am only allied to his virtues, Sir. Rog. It is modestly said. I should carry the badge of your Christianity with me too. Wel. What's that? a cross? There's a tester. Rog. I mean, the name which your godfathers and godmothers gave you at the font. Wel. "Tis Harry. But you cannot proceed orderly now in your catechism; for you have told me who gave me that name. Shall I beg your name? Rog. Roger. Wel. What room fill you in this house? Wel. The more the merrier: But may my boldness know, why your lady hath sent you to decypher my name? Rog. Her own words were these: To know whether you were a formerly-deny'd suitor, disguis'd in this message; for I can assure you, she delights not in Thalam6;" Hymen and she are at variance. I shall return with much haste. [Exit Roger. Wel. And much speed, Sir, I hope. Certainly, I am arrived amongst a nation of newfound fools, on a land where no navigator has yet planted wit. If I had foreseen it, I would have laded my breeches with bells, knives, copper, and glasses, to trade with women for their virginitics; yet, I fear; I should have betray'd myself to needless charge, then. Here's the walking night-cap again. 10 Other women of the households, of as good carriage and government.] Mr. Sympson reads, There are other women of the houshold of as good carriage, &c. We have not ventured to deviate from the old copies, thinking the sense not imperfect. She means, Though you cannot have my mistress's person, you may find other women of the household, upon any of which, &c.' It may be urged, that, without Mr. Sympson's words, there are, the expression is quaint; but that is, perhaps, rather an argument for than against its having been used by our Poets. "She delights not in Thalame:] It must be, as I had long ago observ'd, and as Mr. Sympson likewise hinted to me, in Thalamo: She has no taste for wedlock, for the marriagebed. Mr. Theobald. 12 No Sir, I inculcate divine service within these walls.] Several of the old quarto's have it, homilies; either word is equally to the purpose, but the latter being the stiffer and more precise term, seems most suitable to Sir Roger's formal character. So Abigail, at the beginning of the fourth act, speaking of him, says; To this good homilist I've been ever stubborn; Sir Roger is a very good picture of a dull, pedantie country-chaplain, of those times, in a private family. Mr. Theobald. The oldest editions, however, reading service, we have chose to insert that word. VOL. L. Yo. Lo. I shall beat your favour, Sir! 13 Cross me no more! I say, they shall come in. Sav. Sir, you forget, then, who I am? Yo. Lo. Sir, I do not; thou art my brother's steward, his cast-off mill-money, his kitchen arithmetic. Sav. Sir, I hope, you will not make so little of me? Yo. Lo. I make thee not so little as thou art; for, indeed, there goes no more to the making of a steward, but a fair imprimis, and then a reasonable item infus'd into him, and the thing is done. [must tell you Sav. Nay, then, you stir my duty, and I Yo. Lo. What wouldst thou tell me? how hops grow? or hold some rotten discourse of sheep, or when our Lady-day falls? Prithee, farewell, and entertain my friends; be drunk, and burn thy table-books; and, my dear spark of velvet, 14 thou and I Sar. Good Sir, remember. Yo. Lo. I do remember thee a foolish fellow, one that did put his trust in almanacks, and horse-fairs, and rose by honey, and potbutter. Shall they come in yet? Sav. Nay, then I must unfold your brother's pleasure: These be the lessons, Sir, he left behind him. Yo. Lo. Prithee, expound the first. Sav. I leave to keep my house three hundred pounds a-year; and my brother to dispose of it' Yo. Lo. Mark that, my wicked steward;` and I dispose of it! San. Whilst he bears himself like a gentleman, and my credit falls not in him.' Mark that, my good young Sir, mark that. Yo. Lo. Nay, if it be no more, I shall fulfil it; while my legs will carry me I'll bear myself gentleman-like, but when I am drunk, let them bear me that can. steward. Forward, dear Sav. Next, it is my will, that he be furnish'd (as my brother) with attendance, apparel, and the obedience of my people——' Yo. Lo. Steward, this is as plain as your old minikin-breeches. Your wisdom will relent now, will it not? Be mollified, orYou understand me, Sir. Proceed. Sav. Yet, that my steward keep his place, and power, and bound my brother's wildness with his care.' Yo. Lo. I'll hear no more! This is Apocrypha; bind it by itself, steward. Sav. This is your brother's will; and, as I take it, he makes no mention of such company as you would draw unto you: Captains of gallyfoists; such as in a clear day have seen Calais, fellows that have no more of God, than their oaths come to; they wear swords to reach fire at a play, and get there the oil'd end of a pipe for their guerdon. Then the remnant of your regiment are wealthy tobacco-merchants, that set up with one ounce, and break for three; together with a forlorn hope of poets; and all these look like Carthusians, things without linen: Are these fit company for my master's brother? Yo. Lo. I will either convert thee (oh, thou Pagan steward) or presently confound thee and thy reckonings. Who's there? Call in the gentlemen. Sav. Good Sir! Yo. Lo. Nay, you shall know both who I am, and where I am. Sav. Are you my master's brother? Yo. Lo. Are you the sage master steward, with a face like an old Ephemeris? Enter his comrades, Captain, Traveller, Sav. Then God help all, 16 I say! Yo. Lo. Ay, and 'tis well said, my old peer of France. Welcome, gentlemen, welcome, gentlemen; mine own dear lads, you're richly welcome. Know this old Harry-groat. Capt. Sir, I will take your love Tray. Your honourable friend and master's brother hath given you to us for a worthy fellow, and so we hug you, Sir. 13 I shall bear your favour, Sir, cross me no more.] There is neither sense nor humour, in Young Loveless's reply, as it stands in all the copies. My correction retrieves both: i. e. If you ce, tinue to cross me, I shall correct you for your stubbornness. Mr.Theobald. 14 My dear spark of velvet.] Mr. Seward proposes changing velvet to vellum. 15 Captains of gallyfoists.] See p. 65, of this volume. 16 Say. Then d help all, I say!] Savil has been esteemed by all good judges of comedy, an exellent charac.r of a precise, dogmatical, self-conceited Steward: Always pretending to trude his advice, and as de irous of controuling with his opinions. The ingenious Mr. AdI remember, old me, that he sketched out his character of Vellum, in the comedy d the Drummer, purely from this model. Mr. Theobald. on, |