A& First, Scene Second.

Enter Doodlefack, Babilard, Solemn, Esop, &c.

peaker, Gentlemen, The Honor you have done me, how little foever t inay deserve it, lays me under an Obligation to Exert my felf to the utmoft for the intreft of this Houfe. I humbly propofe, That in the firft place we concert and agree upon fome neceflary Rules for preventing Confufion,

Deputy afide. Well spoke, Mr. Speaker, Tho' 'tis fomething ftrange. that he who has ever affirm'd, That Laws and Liberty were things Incompatible, fhould now propofe to proceed by Rules.

Mulligr. I defire to be heard before you proceed to Rules, or any thing elfe; I have a Speech ready.

Doodlefack, Laet onfe hearken to Mr. Speaker, and begin with fome Rules.

Mullig. I'll have my Speech first.

Corcomb. D-n your Speech, Let's proceed to Rules.

Babilard. If Rules be neceffary to the Speech, let us have the Speech first, but if the Speech be necessary to the Rules, let us have the Rules.

Cox. I'm for neither Speech nor Rules, let us fall upon bufs'nefs.

Speaker, Gentlemen, The Queftion is not, as I take it, which you be pleas'd to have, but which shall have the Preference; for you may have both in their Turns.

All Confufedly. Speech, Rules; Rules, Speech, e.

Mulligrub. My Speech has carry'd it. Hum, Ha, Ough, Ough, Ough, Ough, &c.

Cox. Rot ye, it was not your Cough that Carry'd it; Let off your Speech.

Afop. Mr. Speaker, I do not find that this matter is, as yet, deter min'd to the full fatisfaction of this Houfe, for which Caufe I beg leave to offer an Expedient, which will end the Debate, that is, That we may have both at a time; whilft Mr. Mull: grub is Exonerating himself, we may imploy our felves in adjusting and forming the neceffary Rules.

All. Agreed.

Speaker. Mr. Mulligrub, You may proceed.

Mull. Gentlemen, The ill Measures that have been taken, and the Foundation that hath been laid within this Tenement, to make the Tenants thereof, Tenants therein, is the Caufe which caufeth me to make this Speech. Our Grievances being innumerable, I fhall Enumerate them. The first 1 fhall mention, is this, That tho' the Tenement be large, the Manfions mapy, and the Inhabitants Numerous, There is but 19 One Kitchin, and one Cellar, by which means we are kept from Eating and drinking What we pleafe, When we please, and as Much as we pleafe, which is our Birth-Right Priviledge by the Laws of God and Nature, fettled upon us by Act of Parliament; for which cause I humbly

Whether is may not h

More Convenient that each Manfion have its proper Kitchin and Cellar under the special Direction of the refpe&ive Tenants?

To clear up the Neceffity of this Method, I'll tell you what happ❜ned to me t'other day; One of the Servants of this Houfe, who brought me a Mels of Water Gruel, being my Special Friend, and knowing how eagerly my Stomach ftood towards what was forbidden me by the Phvfitians, conveys a Hand of Pork into the Porrige, but being discover'd he was punifht, tho' he offer'd to take his Corporal Oath, That the Hand of Pork was a bunch of Radishes. But of all others, we of the 20 Eaft End of the Tenement fuffer moft, for by reafon of our distance from the Kitchin, our Porrige is cold before it comes to our Hands. To Remedy this, we fell upon a private Intercoutfe with the Bethlemites on the other fide of Moor-fields, who by virtue of their Charter run at large, by which we broke the Laws pretty Comfortably for a season; but thefe fame fubtle Fellows of the Kitchin found it out, and put a ftop to't, to the Great Prejudice of the Freedom of the Subject, and the dire& Difcouragement of our indirect Commerce. I Remember we once Address'd our Superiors, That we might have a Servant of our own, independent of this Plaguey Keeper They were Graciously pleas'd to allow us fuch a one, with this Reftriation only, That the Sei vant aforesaid might have the Cuftody of our Straw and Water, but by no means of our Meat and Drink; notwithstanding this, the Keeper will not permit him to take the care and Cuftody of our Victuals and Drink. What does he think us Non Corpus Mentlas, that we do not know the meaning of plain words! But fhall Conclude at this time, with this Exhortation, That fince it appears plainly, that we of this Tenement, who are Tenants thereof, are in danger of Being, by the Foundations laid, made Tenants therein, let us not lie Crying thereat, but be Valiant Therefore, and Vindicate our Rights There-from, Our Birth-Right Parliamentary Rights, fettled upon us by the Ten Commandments.

Speaker. Gentlemen, Mr. Mulligrub has given you time to Concert the Rules of the Houfe, would you have them read by the Clerk, in the Order they have been given to him by the several Members ?

All. Ay, Ay,

Tom Reads. Mr. Speaker Propofes, That to prevent Confufion, not above Three or Four at moft be permitted to fpeak at Once, except in a Grand Committec, where there is no occafion of Hearers.

Mr. Coxcomb humbly propofes', That no Body be allow'd to speak but himself, becaufe for want of the Attentive Faculty, he is like to have no fhare in the Hearing, and fo ought to have Compenfation in Speaking.

Doodlefack has given his in a Forreign Tongue, which when interpreted ftands thus, That He having but a mall fhare of Elocution, but a very lively and ftrong imagination, may have leave, as occafion - fhall Offer, to Exprets his Thoughts by Staring, Grinning and Grimaeing, of which he has fo Exquifite a Talent, that those who cannot be faid to understand any thing elfe, perfectly underftand him in that Method of Utterance.

Babilardiss Represents, That he is quite Dum-founded by the late fall'

г

of Stocks, fo in Order to, the opening his Month, he proposes a Law for raifing Int'reft to Twelve per Cent.

Alop has given his Rule in Rhime, as follows,

The Rule that I would advise,

Is, Be quiet, and cat your Bread,
If 'tis good; To be Merry and Wife.
'Tis the Dev'l to be Sullen and Mad.

Coxcomb. Damn all Rules, Let us proceed to buss'ness.
-Cobus, Laet onze erft come to fome Revoluties.

Coxcom. Refolutions! Ay, begin with that, I like that Motion well enough; it is the fhorteft way.

Speaker. Let one at a time Propofa, and the reft Agree or Diffent, as they think fit.

Coxcom. Refolv'd That neither this Houfe, or they whom we Repre fent are bound by any Laws, Rules or Cultoms, any Law, Rule or Cuftom to the Contrary Notwithstanding.

All. Agreed.

Mullegr. That this House disclaims all Powers, Preheminencies or Àuthoritys, except it's own.

All. Agreed.

Babilard. That this Houfe has an Inherent and Undoubted Right to the Undoubted Property of thofe we Reprefent.

Coxcomb That this Houfe is the only Undoubted Supreme Inferior and Infimus Court of this Tenement, and that all others are a Nufance. All. Agreed.

Solemn. Mr. Speaker, being Refolv'd to enter my Diffent to these feveral Refolves, I fhall first give my Reasons for fo doing. I believe it is needless to put you in mind of our Origine, from whence we fprang, and how we came hither. It is well known that we were of that Number of Publick Spirited Perfons, diftinguifh't from our Neighbours by an inward Light or Faculty, call it what you Pleate. The Romans call it Eftrum, the French, Verve, our Northern Nation has indeed given it a Courfer Name, which gave us a ftrong Difpofition toward Reformations, Remonftrations, Refolutions, and other Acts of Zeal; in the cager purfuit of which we were apt to throw our felves, fometimes cur Neighbours, into the Fire or Water. The Wisdom of the Times thought fit to Erect this Tenement for our Intertainment, where the Exercize of the Faculty aforefaid might be lefs Dangerous or hurtful to our felves, or others, Here we are Maintain'd at their Charge with Food and Rayment fuitable to our Condition, and the Fabrick kept in Repair at the no finall Annual Expences of our LandLords. And what Returns do we make? Have not many of us from our private Cells thrown our Filth and Ordure in their Faces? And now in a Collective Body we are about to throw more filthy Refolves at them.

All. To the Barr, to the Barr.
All No, With-draw, With-draw."
Solemn, I defire to be heard.

AL

Al. With-draw.

Speaker. Sir, It is the pleasure of this Hotfe that you With-draw, in order to your being heard. [Exit Solemn. Gentlemen, your have heard this mans Infolence.

done with him?

Coxcomb. Hang'd, Drawn and Quarter'd.

Efop. Ay, but what is his Crime?

Coxcom. For affronting the Majefty of this Houfe.

Afop. In what? What has he done or faid?

What shall be

Cobus. Dat weet ick niet, but I agree with Coxcombs Propofitie. Speaker. 1 am for Inflicting no Punishment but what is in our power, that is, to Expell him the Houfe.

All. Expell, Expell.

Efop. Hold a little. I fuppofe you intend to punish him, and not your felves; I'll tell you a Story.

All. Expell, Expell, &c.

Elop. I beg your patience, 'tis but a fhort one; it is a Tale of a
Pack of Hounds of my Acquantance,

Fowler, the stancheft Hound o'th' breed,
Had got th' ill Will of all the frest;
Not for his Tongue, his Nofe or Speed,
Tho' these were all by far the best;

Malice and Envy know no bounds

And Currs have ever bark'd at Hounds.

But that which most provok'd their Spite
Was this, that when they run a Foil
Or Counter, Fowler led them right,
Which coft him many a bitter broil,

Snubbing the Rash and Rioters,
And lugging laizy Ones by th' Ears.

So at a General Council held

For Grievances, or what you will,
Poor trusty Fowler was Expell'd,

That free-born Dogs might range their fill.

And fo they did; but mark what came on't,
Hence-forth they made but forry Game on't;

The giddy Pack, their Guide b'ing gone,
Run Riot, and the Hunts-Man fwore,

Strap't fome, and fome he whipt; but one
He hang'd, a Noify babling Curr.

In short, the Pack was fpoyl'd
Shall Fowler be Expell'd agen

Pray then,

Coxcomb. A Pox on your Tale, let us proceed to the Vote.

Speaker

Speaker. What is then your pleasure with relation to the Member who is to be Expell'd?

Al. Expell'd, Expell'd.

Speaker. Call him to the Bar

Enter Solemn.

Sir, For Reafons best known to our felves, you are Expell'd.
Solemn. Sir, You do me too much honor.

Enter Messenger.

[Exit.

Meffenger. Mr. Speaker, The Lord Androboros with Two Men in Black defires Admittance.

Speaker. Is it your pleasure he be admitted?

Omnes Ay, Ay.

Speaker. Let the Clerk go to him with the Compliments of the House, and Condu& him in.

[Tom a going. Keeper. St. St. St. Tom, a Word with you. Pray who are thefe fame men in Black, who accompany the General ?

Tom. Two other fpecial Friends of yours, viz. Fizle and Flip; The firft was heretofore a23Muggletonian of the other fide of Moore-fields, but having no Butter to his Bread there, he Chang'd their Service for that of this Houfe; He fometime fancy'd himself to be the Pope, but his Brother not relishing that as Derogatory to his Pretentions, he is now Contended to be Patriarch of the Western Empire, of which Androboros is to be Sultan; The other, for a wonderful Energy in the two moft Unruly Members of the Body, has been follow'd of late by the Women and Boys, but a late finiftrous Accident has Crack't his Voice, and that now he is buc little regarded. But I must be gone. [Ex. Tom. Keeper. The Rogue is a good Painter.

Deputy. He draws from the Life, I affure you.

Androb.

A& Firft, Scene Third.

Enter Androboros and Tom, Flip and Fizle.

Moft

Oft Venerable Gentlemen, Upon my Rounds of Infpe&ion, Prospection and Retrofpection, I have understood with Pleasure, that you have fequefter'd from your Houfe that wandring Plague, that Kibes in the Heels, and Piles in the pofteriors of Mankind.

Efop. Pardon me, Sir, your Name has not been mention'd here, that I know of.

Androb. I mean Solemn, which A& I approve and Commend. It is with no less fatisfa&tion that I now acquaint you, That upon the Earneft Application and moft humble Suit of the High and Potent Towrowmowyougbrough, Emperor of many Nations, and my good Allies, the Kings of Agni fagkimaghfwoughfayk, Savanaghriphengh, and Bowwongemonffe, I have undertaken an Expedition against the Mulo Machians, your Inveterate Foes. Your Concurrence to enable me to carry it on with Success, is what I demand and expect; and for your Incouragement, 1 do Swear by this facred Image, not to pare thefe Nails, wash this blew Vifage,

or