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litter and you may know by my fize, that I have a kind of alacrity in finking; if the bottom were as deep as hell, I fhould down. I had been drown'd, but that the fhore was fhelvy and fhallow; a death that I abhor; for the water fwells a man; and what a thing fhould I have been, when I had been fwell'd! I fhould have been a mountain of mummy.

Re-enter Bardolph, with the wine.

Now, is the fack brew'd?

Bard. Ay, fir: there's a woman below would speak with you.

Fal. Come, let me pour in fome fack to the Thames water; for my belly's as cold, as if I had fwallow'd fnow-balls for pills to cool the reins. Call her in. Bard. Come in, woman..

Enter Mrs. Quickly.

Quic. By your leave;-I cry you mercy-Give your worship good morrow.

Fal. Take away thefe chalices: Go brew me a pottle of fack finely.

Bard. With eggs, fir?

Fal. Simple of itfelf; I'll no pullet-fperm in my brewage.-How now?

Quic. Marry, fir, I come to your worship from miftrefs Ford.

Fal. Miftrefs Ford! I have had ford enough: I was thrown into the ford; I have my belly full of ford.

Quic. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: fhe does fo take on with her men; they mistook their erection.

Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's promife.

Quic. Well, the laments, fir, for it, that it would yern your heart to fee it. Her husband goes this morning a birding; fhe defires you once more to come to

her

her between eight and nine: I muft carry her word quickly fhe'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Fal. Well, I will vifit her: Tell her fo; and bid her think, what a man is : let her confider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.

Quic. I will tell her.

Fal. Do fo. Between nine and ten, fay'ft thou? Quic. Eight and nine, fir.

Fal. Well, be gone: I will not mifs her.

Quic. Peace be with you, fir!

[Exit.

Fal. I marvel, I hear not of maiter Brook; he fent

me word to stay within: I like his money well. Oh, here he comes.

Enter Ford.

Ford. Blefs you, fir!

Fal. Now, mafter Brook? you come to know what hath pafs'd between me and Ford's wife?

Ford. That, indeed, fir John, is my bufinefs. Fal. Mafter Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her house the hour fhe appointed me.

Ford. And you fped, fir?

Fal. Very ill-favour'dly, mafter Brook.

Ford. How, fir? Did the change her determination? Fal. No, mafter Brook: but the peaking cornuto her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual 'larum of jealoufy, comes me in the inftant of our encounter, after we had embrac'd, kifs'd, protefted, and, as it were, fpoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provok'd and inftigated by his diftemper, and forfooth, to fearch his houfe for his wife's love.

Ford. What, while you were there?

Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he fearch for you, and could not find you?

Fal. You fhall hear. comes in one miftrefs

As good luck would have it,
Page; gives intelligence of
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Ford's

Ford's approach; and, by her invention, and Ford's wife's diftraction, they convey'd me into a buck-basket. Ford. A buck-bafket!

Fal. Yea, a buck-bafket: ramm'd me in with fout fhirts and finocks, focks, foul ftockings, and greafy napkins; that, mafter Brook, there was the rankeft compound of villanous fmell, that ever offended noftril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, mafter Brook, what I have fuffer'd to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul cloaths to Datchetlane they took me on their shoulders; met the jealous knave their mafter in the door; who afk'd them once or twice, what they had in their basket: I quak'd for fear, leaft the lunatic knave would have search'd it; but fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well; on went he for a fearch, and away went I for foul cloaths. But mark the fequel, mafter Brook: I fuffer'd the pangs of three feveral deaths: firft, an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten bell-weather: next, to be compafs'd, like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head: and then, to be ftopp'd in, like a strong diftillation, with ftinking cloaths that fretted in their own greafe: think of that,-a man

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feveral deaths:] Thus the folio and the most correct of the quartos. The first quarto reads egregious deaths.

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STEEVENS.

-detected with] Thus the old copies. With was fometimes used for of. So, a little after:

"I fooner will fufpect the fun with cold." Detected of a jealous &c.] would have been the common gram. mar of the times. The modern editors read by. STEEVENS. 4 - -bilbo,

-] A bilbo is a Spanish blade, of which the ex

cellence is flexiblenefs and elafticity. JOHNSON. -bilbo, from Bilboa. STEEVENS.

of

of my kidney-think of that; that am as fubject to heat, as butter; a man of continual diffolution and thaw; it was a miracle, to 'fcape fuffocation. And in: the height of this bath, when I was more than half ftew'd in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cool'd, glowing hot, in that furge, like a horse-shoe; think of that-hiffing hot-think of that, mafter Brook.

Ford. In good fadness, fir, I am forry that for my fake you have fuffer'd all this. My fuit is then defperate; you'll undertake her no more?

Fal. Mafter Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into Thames, cre I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding: I have receiv'd from her another embaffy of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, mafter Brook.

Ford. 'Tis paft eight already, fir.

Fal. Is it? I will then addrefs me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leifure, and you shall know how I fpeed; and the conclufion fhall be crown'd with your enjoying her: Adieu. You fhall have her, mafter Brook; mafter Brook, you_fhall cuckold Ford. [Exit.

Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vifion? is this a dream? do I fleep? mafter Ford, awake; awake, master Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, mafter Ford. This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen, and buck-baskets!-Well, I will proclaim myself what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my house: he cannot 'fcape me; 'tis impoffible he fhould; he cannot creep into a half-penny purfe, nor into a pepper-box: but, left the devil that guides him fhould

5-kidney; Kidney in this phrafe now fignifies kind or quabities, but Falflaff means, a man whefe kidnies are as fat as mine. JOHNSON. addrefs mei. e. make myself ready. So in K. Henry V : "To-morrow for our march we are addreft." STEEVENS.

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aid him, I will fearch impoffible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would pot, fhall not make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be horn-mad. [Exit.

8 A C T IV.

SCENE I.

Page's houfe.

Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Quickly, and William. Mrs. Page. Is he at mafter Ford's already, think'ft thou?

Quic. Sure, he is by this; or will be prefently: but truly, he is very courageous mad, about his throwing into the water. Miftrefs Ford defires you to come fuddenly,

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Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but

"I'll be born-mad.] There is no image which our author appears fo fond of, as that of cuckold's horns. Scarcely a light character is introduced that does not endeavour to produce merriment by fome allufion to horned hufbands. As he wrote his plays for the stage rather than the prefs, he perhaps reviewed them feldom, and did not obferve this repetition; or finding the jest, however frequent, still fuccefsful, did not think correction neceffary. JOHNSON.

This is a very trifling scene, of no ufe to the plot, and I fhould think of no great delight to the audience; but Shakespeare best knew what would pleafe. JOHNSON.

We may fuppofe this fcene to have been a very entertaining one to the audience for which it was written. Many of the old plays exhibit pedants inftructing their scholars. Marfton has a very long one in his What you Will, between a schoolmaster, and Holofernes, Nathaniel, &c. his pupils. The title of this play was perhaps borrowed by Shakespeare, to join to that of Twelfth Night. What you Will, appeared in 1607. Twelfth Night, in 1623.

STEEVENS.

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