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shall assign one of the sides of the college which I am now erecting for the cure of this dangerous distemper. The most remarkable of the persons, whose disturbance arises from pride, and whom I shall use all possible diligence to cure, are such as are hidden in the appearance of quite contrary habits and dispositions. Among such, I shall in the first place take care of one, who is under the most subtle species of pride that I have observed in my whole experience. This patient is a person for whom I have the greatest respect, as being an old courtier, and a friend of mine in my youth. The man has but a bare subsistence, just enough to pay his reckoning with us at the Trumpet; but by having spent the beginning of his life in the hearing of great men, and persons of power, he is always promising to do good offices, to introduce every man he converses with into the world; will desire one of ten times his substance to let him see him sometimes, and hints to him, that he does not forget him. He answers to matters of no consequence with great circumspection; but however, maintains a general civility in his words and actions, and an insolent benevolence to all whom he has to do with: this he practises with a grave tone and air, and thoug I am his senior by twelve years, and richer by forty pounds per annum, he had yesterday the impudence to commend me to my face, and tell me, he should be always ready to encourage me. In a word he is a very insignificant fellow, but exceedingly gracious. The best return I can make him for his favours, is, to carry him myself to Bedlam, and see him well taken care of. The next person I shall provide for, is of a quite contrary character; that has in him all the stiffness and insolence of quality, without a grain of sense or good-nature, to make it either respected or beloved. His Pride has infected every muscle of his face; and
yet, after all his endeavours to shew mankind that he contemns them, he is only neglected by all that see him, as not of consequence enough to be hated.
For the cure of this particular sort of madness, it will be necessary to break through all forms with him, and familiarize his carriage by the use of a good cudgel. It may likewise be of great benefit to make him jump over a stick half a dozen times every morning.
A third, whom I have in my eye, is a young fellow, whose lunacy is such, that he boasts of nothing but what he ought to be ashamed of. He is vain of being rotten, and talks publicly of crimes which he ought to be hanged for by the laws of his country.
There are several others whose brains are hurt with pride, and whom I may hereafter attempt to recover; but shall conclude my present list with an old woman, who is just dropping into her grave, that talks of nothing but her birth. Though she has not a tooth in her head, she expects to be valued for the blood in her veins, which she fancies is much better than that which glows in the cheeks of Belinda, and sets half the town on fire.
No. CXXVIII. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 2.
From my own Ahartment, February 1.
THIS morning I received a letter from a fortunehunter, which being better in its kind than men of that character usually write, I have thought fit to com— municate to the public.
“I TAKE the boldness to recommend to your “ care the inclosed letter, not knowing how to com“ municate it but by your means to the agreeable “ country-maid you mention with so much honour in “ your discourse concerning the lottery.
“I should be ashamed to give you this trouble “ without offering at some small requital, I shall there“ fore direct a new pair of globes, and a telescope of “ the best maker, to be left for you at Mr. Morphew's, “as a testimony of the great respect with whichI am,
“Your most humble servant, &c.”
To Mofisa in Sheer-lane. “ FAIREST UNKNow N,
“IT being discovered by the stars, that about “three months hence you will run the hazard of being “persecuted by many worthless pretenders to your “ person, unless timely prevented; I now offer my ser“vice for your security against the persecution that
threatens you. This is therefore to let you know, that I have conceived a most extraordinary passion for you; and that for several days I have been perpetually haunted with the vision of a person I have never yet seen. To satisfy you that I am in my senses, and that I do not mistake you for any one of higher rank, I assure you, that in your daily employment, you appear to my imagination more agreeable in a short scanty petticoat, than the finest woman of quality in her spreading fardingal; and that the dexterous twirl of your mop has more native charms, than the studied airs of a lady's fan. In a word, I am captivated with your menial qualifications: the domestic virtues adorn you like attendant Cupids;
: cleanliness and healthful industry wait on all your
motions; and dust and cobwebs fly your approach. “Now, to give you an honest account of myself, and that you may see my designs are honourable, I am an esquire of an ancient family, born to about fifteen hundred pounds a year, half of which I have spent in discovering myself to be a fool, and with the rest am resolved to retire with some plain honest partner, and study to be wiser. I had my education in a laced coat, and a French dancing-school; and by my travelintoforeign parts, have just as much breeding to spare, as you may think you want, which I intend to exchange as fast as I can for old English honesty and good sense. I will not impose on you by a false recommendation of my person, which, to shew you my sincerity, is none of the handsomest, being of a figure somewhat short ; but what I want in length, I make out in breadth. But in annends for
“ that and all other defects, if you can like me when “ you see me, I shall continue to you, whether I find “ you fair, black, or brown,
“ The most constant of Lovers.” Jan. 27th, 1709-10. • VOL. IIIs G. *
This letter seems to be written by a wag, and for that reason I am not much concerned for what reception Mopsa shall think fit to give it; but the following certainly proceeds from a poor heart, that languishes under the most deplorable misfortune that possibly can befal a woman. A man that is treacherously dealt with in love, may have recourse to many consolations. He may gracefully break through all opposition to his mistress, or explain with his rival; urge his own constancy, or aggravate the falsehood by which it is repaid. But a woman that is ill-treated, has no refuge in her griefs but in silence and secrecy. The world is so unjust, that a female heart which has been once touched, is thought for ever blemished. The very grief in this case is looked upon as a reproach, and a complaint almost a breach of chastity. For these reasons we see treachery and falsehood are become, as it were, male vices, and are seldom found, never acknowledged, in the other sex. This may serve to introduce Statira's letter, which, without any turn of art, has something so pathetical and moving in it, that I verily believe it to be true, and therefore heartily pity the injured creature that wrote it.
“YOU seem in many of your writings to be a “man of a very compassionate temper, and well ac“ quainted with the passion of love. This encourages “me to apply myself to you in my present distress, “ which I believe you will look upon to be very great, “ and treat with tenderness, notwithstanding it wholly “ arises from love, and that it is a woman that makes “this confession. I am now in the twenty-third year “of my age, and have for a great while entertained “ the addresses of a man who I thought loved me “more than life. I am sure I did him; and must own