Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

Mr Bluster was a great Old Bailey
barrister, about fifty years old, the
leader constantly employed by Messrs
Quirk, Gammon, and Snap; and was
making at least a thousand a-year.
He had an amazingly truculent-look-
ing countenance, coarse to a degree,
and his voice matched it; but on
occasions like the present-i. e. in
elegant society-he would fain drop
the successful terrors of his man-
ner, and appear the mild, dignified
gentleman. He therefore spoke in a
very soft, cringing way, with an
anxious smile; but his bold insolent
eye and coarse mouth-what could
disguise or mitigate their expression?
Here he was, playing the great man;
making himself, however, most parti-
cularly agreeable to Messrs Quirk and
Gammon. Slang was of the same
school; fat, vulgar, confident, and
empty; telling obscene jokes and
He
stories, in a deep bass voice.
sang a good song, too—particularly of
that class which required the absence
of ladies-and of gentlemen. Hug
(Mr Toady Hug) was also a barrister,
a glib little Jewish-looking fellow,
creeping into considerable criminal
practice. He was a sneaking back
biter, and had a blood-hound scent
after an attorney. See him, for ins
stance, at this moment, in close and
eager conversation with Mr Flaw,
who, rely upon it, will give him a brief
before the week is over. Viper was
the editor of the Sunday Flash; a cold,
venomous little fellow. He was of
opinion that every thing was wrong-
moral, physical, intellectual, and so-
cial; that there was really no such
thing, or at least ought not to be, as
religion; and, as to political rights,
that every body ought to be uppermost
at once. He had failed in business
twice, and disreputably; then had be-
come a Unitarian parson; but, hav-
ing seduced a young female member
of his congregation, he was instantly
expelled from his pulpit. An action
being brought against him by the
mother of his victim, and heavy dam-
ages obtained, he attempted to take
the benefit of the Insolvent Debtors'
Act-but, on account of Miss
was remanded for eighteen months.
That period he employed in writing
a shockingly blasphemous work, for
which he was prosecuted, and senten-
ced to a heavy fine and imprison-
ment; on being released from which,

saturated with gall and bitterness
against all mankind, he took to politi-
cal writing of a very violent character,
and was at length picked up, balf
starved, by his present patron, Mr
Quirk, and made editor of the Sunday
Flash. Is not all this history written
in his sallow, sinister-eyed, bitter-ex-
pressioned countenance? Wo to him
who gets into a discussion with Viper!
There were one or two others present,
particularly a Mr Ghastly, a third-rate
tragic actor, with a tremendous mouth,
only one eye, and a very hungry look.
He never spoke, because no one spoke
to him, for his clothes seemed rather
rusty-black. The only man of gen-
tlemanlike appearance in the room was
Mr Gammon; and he took an early
opportunity of engaging poor Tit-
mouse in conversation, and setting
him comparatively at his ease-a thing
which was attempted by old Quirk,
but in such a fidgety-fussy way as
served only to fluster Titmouse the
more. Mr Quirk gave a dinnerparty
of this sort regularly every Sunday;
and they formed the happiest moments
of his life-occasions on which he
banished from his thoughts the respon-
sible anxieties of his profession, and,
surrounded by a select circle of choice
spirits, such as were thus collected
together, partook joyously of the
"Feast of reason, and the flow of soul."

"This is a very beautiful picture, Titmouse, isn't it?" said Gammon, leading him to the further corner of the drawing-room, where hung a small picture with a sort of curtain of black gauze before it, which Gammon lifting up, Titmouse beheld a picture of a man suspended from the gallows, his hands tied with cords before him, his head forced aside, and covered down to the chin with a white nightcap. 'Twas done with sickening fidelity, and Titmouse gazed at it with a shudder. "Charming thing, isn't it?" said Gammon, with a very expressive smile.

“Y—e—e—s,” replied Titmouse, his eyes glued to the horrid object.

"Very striking, a'n't it?" quoth Quirk, bustling up to them; "twas painted for me by a first-rate artist, whose brother I very nearly saved from the gallows!"

"Like such things?" enquired Quirk, with a matter of fact air, drawing down the black gauze.

"Yes, sir, uncommon -uncommon."

"Well, I'll show you something very interesting! Heard of Gilderoy, that was hanged last year for forgery? Gad, my daughter's got a brooch with a lock of his hair in it, which he gave me himself-a client of mine: within an ace of getting him off-flaw in the indictment-found it out myself-did, by gad! Come along, and I'll get Dora to show it to you!" and, putting Titmouse's arm in his, he led him up to the interesting young lady.

"Dora, just show my friend Titmouse that brooch of yours, with Gilderoy's hair."

"Oh, my dear papa, 'tis such a melancholy thing!" said she, at the same time detaching it from her dress, and handing it to her papa, who, holding it in his hands, gave Titmouse, and one or two others who stood be side, a very interesting account of the last hours of the deceased Gilderoy.

"He was very handsome, papa, wasn't he?" enquired Miss Quirk, with a sigh, and a very pensive air.

"Wasn't bad looking; but good looks and the condemned cell don't long agree together."

[ocr errors]

65 Ah, papa a! exclaimed Miss Quirk, in a mournful tone, and, leaning back in the sofa, raised her handkerchief to her eyes.

"You are too sensitive, my love!" whispered her aunt, Mrs Alias, squeezing the hand of her niece, who, struggling against her feelings, presently revived.

"We were looking just now," said Mr Hug, addressing Mr Quirk, "at a very interesting addition to Miss Quirk's album-that letter of Grizzlegut."

[ocr errors]

“Ah, very striking! Value it beyond every thing! Shall never forget Grizzlegut! Very nearly got off! 'Twas an &c.' that nearly saved his life, through being omitted in the indictment. 'Fore gad, we thought we'd got 'em!"

They were alluding to an autograph letter which had been addressed to Mr Quirk by Grizzlegut, (who had been executed for high treason a few weeks before,) the night before he suffered. He was a blood-stained scoundrel of the deepest dye, and ought to have been hanged and quartered half a-dozen times.

"Will you read it aloud, Mr Hug?"

enquired Miss Quirk; and the barrister, in a somewhat pompous tone, read the following memorable document:

"Condemned Cell, Newgate, Friday night, half-past 11 o'clock, 18th Nov. 18—.

"Sir,

"At this awful moment, when this world is closing rapidly upon me and my fellow sufferers, and the sounds of the wretches putting up the Grim Gallows are audible to my listening ears, and on the morrow the most horrible death that malicious tyrants can inflict awaits me, my soul being calm and full of fortitude, and beating responsive to the call of GLORIOUS LIBERTY, I feel prouder than the King upon his throne. I feel that I have done much to secure the liberties of my injured country.

For Liberty, glorious liberty,
Who'd fear to die?'

Many thanks to you, sir, for your truly indefatigable efforts on my behalf, and the constant exercise of a skill that nearly secured us a Glorious Acquittal. What a Flame we would have raised in England! That should have blasted the enemies of True Freedom. I go to Hereafter, (if, indeed, there be a hereafter,) as we shall soon know, not with my soul crammed with Priestcraft, a Bold Briton, having laid down my life for my country, knowing that Future Ages will do me Justice.

"Adieu, Tyrants, adieu! Do your worst!! My soul defies you. "I am, "Sir,

"Your humble, obliged, and
"undismayed servant,

"ARTHUR GRIZZLEGUT.

"To Caleb Quirk, Esq.

[blocks in formation]

carved on a golden tablet! The last four lines are sublime! He was a martyr to principles that are silently and rapidly making their way in this country."- How much farther he would have gone on in this strain, seeing no one present had resolution enough to differ with or interrupt him, even if they had been so disposed, I know not, but fortunately dinner was announced-a sound which startled old Quirk out of a posture of intense attention to Viper, and evident admiration of his sentiments. He gave his arm with an air of prodigious politeness to the gaunt Mrs Alderman Addlehead, whose distinguished lord led down Miss Quirk-and the rest followed in no particular order-Titmouse arm in arm with Gammon, who took care to place him next to himself, (Gammon.) It was really a dashing sort of dinner. Quirk had, indeed, long been celebrated for his Sunday dinners. Titmouse had never seen any thing like it; and was quite bewildered-particularly at the number of differently shaped and coloured glasses, &c. &c. &c., placed opposite to him. He kept a constant eye on the movements of Gammon, and did whatever he did, as if the two had been moved by the same set of springs, and was thus saved innumerable embarrassments and annoyances. What chiefly struck his attention was the prodigious number of dishes, great and small, as if half-a-dozen dinners had been crowded into one; the rapidity with which they were changed, and plates removed, in constant succession; the incessant invitations to take wine that were flying about during the whole of dinner. For a considerable while Titmouse was too much flurried to enjoy himself; but a few glasses of champagne succeeded in elevating his spirits to the proper pitch-and would soon have driven them far beyond it. Almost every body, except the great folk at the top of the table, asked him to take wine; and he constantly filled his glass. In fact Gammon, recollecting a scene at his own chamber, soon perceived that, unless he interfered, Titmouse would be drunk long before dinner was over. He had not imagined the earth to contain so exquisite a drink as champagne; and he could have fallen down and worshipped it, as it came fizzing and flashing out of the bottle. Gammon earnestly assured

him that he would be ill if he drunk so much-that many eyes were upon him

and that it was not the custom to do more than merely sip from his wineglass when challenging or challenged. But Titmouse had taken a considerably greater quantity on board, before Gammon thus interfered, than that gentleman was aware of, and began to get very voluble. Guess the progress he had made, when he called out with a confident air-" Mr Alderman! Your health !"—whether more to that great man's astonishment or disgust I cannot undertake to say: but after a steady stare for a moment or two at Titmouse, " Oh! I shall be very happy, indeed, Mr Gammon," he called out, looking at the latter gentleman, and drinking with him. That signified nothing, however, to Titmouse, who, indeed, did not see any thing at all pointed or unusual, and gulped down his wine as eagerly as before.

"Cool puppy that, Miss Quirk, must say," snuffled the offended Alderman to Miss Quirk.

"He's young, dear Mr Alderman," said she, sweetly and mildly" and when you consider the immense fortune he is coming into-ten thousand a-year, my papa says"

"That don't make him less a puppy -nor a brute," interrupted the ruffled Alderman, still more indignant; for his own forty thousand pounds, the source of all his social eminence, sunk into insignificance at the sound of the splendid income just about to drop into the lap of Titmouse. Mr Bluster, who headed the table on Miss Quirk's left-hand side, and who felt that he ought to be, but knew that in the presence of the Alderman he was not, the great man of the day, observing the irritation under which his rival was suffering, immediately raised his threatening double-glasses to his eyes, and in a tone of ostentatious condescension, looking down the table to Titmouse, called out," Mr Titmash -may I have the honour of drinking your health?"

"Ya-as, brother Bumptions," replied Titmouse, who could never bear to hear his name mis-pronounced, and he raised his glass to his eye; 66 was just going to ask you!" All this was done in such a loud and impudent tone and manner, as made Gammon still more uneasy for his young companion. But his sally had been received by

the company as a very smart retort, and produced a roar of laughter, every one being glad to see Mr Bluster snubbed, who bore it in silent dignity, though his face showed his chagrin and astonishment; and he very heart ily agreed, for once in his life, with the worshipful person opposite to him in his estimate of our friend Titmouse. "Mr Titmouse! Mr Titmouse! my daughter wonders you won't take wine with her," said Mr Quirk, in a low tone-" will you join us? we're going to take a glass of champagne."

"Oh! 'pon my life-delighted"quoth Titmouse.

"Dora, my dear! Mr Titmouse will take wine with you!-Jack," (to the servant,)" fill Miss Quirk's and Mr Titmouse's glasses to the brim." "Oh no! dearest papa." "Pho! pho!-nonsense-the first time of asking, you know."

"Well! If it must be," and with what a graceful inclination-with what a pointed manner, and fascina、 ting smile, did she exchange courtesies with Titmouse! He felt disposed to take wine with her a second time immediately; but Gammon restrained him. Mr Toady Hug, having become acquainted with the brilliant prospects of Titmouse, earnestly desired to exert his little talents to do the agreeable, and ingratiate himself with Mr Titmouse; but there was a counteracting force in another direction, an attorney, a Mr Flaw, who had the greatest practice at the Clerkenwell sessions, sat beside him, and received his most respectful and incessant attentions; speaking ever in a low confidential whisper, constantly casting a furtive glance towards Bluster and Slang, to see whether they were observing him. Hug, in strict confidence, assured Mr Flaw how his case, the other day, might have been won, if such and such a course had been adopted," which would have been the line he" (Hug) "would have taken ;" and which he explained with anxious energy. "I must say, Flip regularly threw the case away-no doubt of it! By the way, what became of that burglary case of yours on Friday?" "Found guilty, poor fellows!" "You don't say so?" "Fact, by Jove, though!" "How could Gobble have lost that verdict? I assure you I would have bet ten to one on your getting a verdict; for I read over your brief as it

lay beside me, and upon my honour, Mr Flaw, it was most admirably got up. Every thing depends on the brief".

"Glad you thought so, sir," replied Flaw, wondering how it was that he had never before thought of giving a brief to Mr Hug.

"It's a great mistake of counsel not to pay great attention to their briefs. For my part," continued Mr Hug, in a still lower tone," I make a point of reading every syllable in my brief, however long it is."

"It's the only way, depend on it, sir. We attorneys see and know so much of the case

"Ay, and beyond that. Your practical suggestions are often- -Now, for instance, in the brief I was alluding to, there was an uncommonly acute suggestion."

"Which was it, sir?" enquired the attorney, his countenance showing the progress of Hug's lubricating process. "Oh-why-a-a-hem! No; it would hardly be fair to Gobble, and I'm sorry indeed".

"Well, well-it can't be helped now but I must say that once or twice latterly I've thought that Mr Gobble has rather—By the way, Mr Hug, shall you be in town this week, till the end of the sessions?"

"Ye-e-s!" hastily whispered Hug, after glancing guiltily towards his brethren, who, though they did not seem to do so, were really watching him closely.

[ocr errors]

"I'm happy to hear it. You've heard of Aaron Doodle, who was committed for that burglary at Well, I defend him, and shall be happy to give you the brief. Do you lead Mr Dolt?" Hug nodded. "Then he will be your junior. Where are your chambers, Mr Hug?"

"No. 4, Sly Court, Gray's Inn. When does it come on?"

"Thursday-perhaps Wednesday." "Then do come and breakfast with me, and we can talk it over together." "Sir, you're very polite. I will do myself the pleasure.'

This little stroke of business over, the disengaged couple were at liberty to attend to the general conversation of the table. Mr Bluster and Mr Slang kept the company in almost a constant roar, with descriptions of scenes in court, in which they had, of course, been the principal actors; and according to their own accounts they must be

wonderful fellows. Such botherers of judges!-such bafflers and browbeaters of witnesses!-such bamboozlers of juries!

You should have seen the sneering countenance of Hug all the while. He never once smiled or laughed at the sallies of his brethren, and did his best to prevent his new patron, Mr Flaw, from doing so-constantly putting his hand before his mouth, and whispering into Mr Flaw's ear at the very point of the joke or story-and the smile would disappear from the countenance of Mr Flaw.

The alderman laughed till the tears ran out of his little eyes, which he constantly wiped with his napkin. Amidst the general laughter and excitement, Miss Quirk, leaning her chin on her hand, her elbow resting on the table, several times directed soft, languishing looks towards Titmouse, unobserved by any one but himself; and they were not entirely unsuccessful, although Titmouse was wonderfully taken with the stories of the two counsellors, and believed them to be two of the greatest men he had ever seen or heard of, and at the head of their profession.

"I hope, sir, you'll have those two gents. in my case?" said he earnestly to Gammon.

"Unfortunately, your case will not come on in their courts," said Gammon, with a very expressive smile.

"Why, can't it come on when I choose?—or when you like?" enquired Titmouse, surprisedly.

Mr Quirk had been soured during the whole of dinner, for he had anxiously desired to have Titmouse sit beside him at the bottom of the table; but in the little hubbub attendant upon coming down to dinner and taking places, Titmouse slipped out of sight for a minute; and when all were placed, Quirk's enraged eye perceived him seated in the middle of the table, beside Gammon. Gammon always got hold of Titmouse. Old Quirk could have flung a decanter at his headIn his own house !-at his own table! Always anticipating and circumventing him.

a

"Mr Quirk, I don't think we've taken a glass of wine together yet, have we?" said Gammon, with bland and cordial manner, at the same time pouring himself out a glass of wine. He perfectly well knew what was annoying his respected partner,

whose look of quaint embarrassment, when so suddenly assailed, infinitely amused him. "Catch me asking you here again, Master Gammon," thought Quirk," the next time that Titmousé dines here!" The reason why Mr Snap had not been asked was, that Quirk had some slight cause to suspect his having conceived the notion of paying his addresses to Miss Quirk -a thing at any time not particularly palatable to Mr Quirk; but in the present conjuncture of circumstances quite out of the question, and intolerable even in idea. Snap was not slow in guessing the reason of his exclusion, which had greatly mortified, and also not a little alarmed him. As far as he could venture, he had, during the week, endeavoured to "set" Titmouse "against" Miss Quirk, by such faint disparaging remarks and insinuations as he dared venture upon with so difficult a subject as Titmouse, whom he at the same time inflamed by representations of the splendid matches he might very soon command among the highest women of the land. By these means Snap had, to a certain extent, succeeded; but the few melting glances which had fallen upon Titmouse's sensitive bosom from the eyes of Miss Quirk, were beginning to operate a slight change in his feelings. The old alderman, on an intimation that the "ladies were going to withdraw," laid violent hands on Miss Quirk, (he was a "privileged" old fool,) and insisted on her singing his favourite song,-" My Friend and Pitcher." His request was so warmly seconded by the rest of the company, Titmouse as loud and eager as any, that she was fain to comply. She sung with considerable sweetness, and much self-possession. She carried Titmouse's feelings along with her from the beginning, as Gammon, who was watching him, perceived.

"Most uncommon lovely gal, isn't she?" whispered Titmouse, with great energy.

"Very!" replied Gammón drily, with a slight smile.

"Shall I call out encore? A'n't that the word? 'Pon my soul, most lovely gal! she must sing it again."

"No, no-she wishes to go-'tis not usual she will sing it for you, I dare say, this evening, if you ask her."

Well-most charming gal!

Lovely!".

"Have patience, my dear Tit

« AnteriorContinuar »