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But he grew rich, and with his riches grew so Or else the people would perhaps have shot Keen the desire to see his home again,

him; He thought himself in duty bound to do so, And thus at Venice landed to reclaim And not be always thieving on the main; His wife,religion, house, and Christian name Lonely he felt, at times, as Robin Crusoe, And so he hired a vessel come from Spain, Bound for Córfu; she was a fine polacca, His wife received, the patriarch re-baptized Mann'd with twelve hands, and laden with

him, tobacco

(He made the chu a present by the way;) He then threw off the garments which dis

guised him, Himself, and much (heaven knows how And borrow'd the Count's small-clothes for gotten) cash,

a day; He then embark’d, with risk of life and limb, His friends the more for his long abseno And got clear off, although the attempt was

prized him, rash;

Finding he'd wherewithal to make them gay He said that Providence protected him- With dinners, where he oft became th For my part, I say nothing, lest we clash

laugh of them, In our opinions :- well, the ship was trim, For stories,--but I don't believe the ha Set sail, and kept her reckoning fairly on,

of them. Except three days of calm when off Cape

Bonn.

Whate'er his youth had suffer'd, his old ag

With wealth and talking made him sot They reach'd the island, he transferr'd his

amends ; lading,

Though Laura sometimes put him in a rag And self and live-stock, to another bottom, I've heard the Count and he were alwa And pass’d for a true Turkey-merchant,

friends. trading

My pen is at the bottom of a page, With goods of various names, but I've for- Which being finish'd here the story end

got 'em.

'Tis to be wish'd it had been sooner done However, he got off by this evading, But stories somehow lengthen when begu

D ON JU A N.

"Difficile est proprie communia dicere."

НоклCE. .

CANTO 1. And fill'd their sign-posts then, like W

lesley now ; I want a hero: an uncominon want,

Each in their turn like Banquo's monate When every year and month sends forth a Followers of fame, “nine farrow” of

stalk, new one, Till, after cloying the gazettes with cant, France, too, had Buonaparté and Dumonrio

sow: The age discovers he is not the true one; of such as these I should not care to vaunt, Recorded in the Moniteur and Courier. I'll therefore take our ancient friend Don

Juan;
We all have seen him in the Pantomime

Barnave, Brissot, Condorcet, Mirabeau, Sent to the devil, somewhat ere his time.

Petion, Clootz, Danton, Marat, La Fayett
Were French and famous people.as we kno

And there were others, scarce forgotten" Vernon, the butcher.Cumberland, Wolfe, Joubert, Hoche, Marceau, Lannes, Dessa Hawke,

Morean, Prince Ferdinand, Granby, Burgoyne, Kep. With many of the military set,

pel, Howe, Exceedingly remarkable at times, Evil and good, have had their tithe of talk, I But not at all adapted to my rhymes

Nelson was once Britannia's god of war, His mother was a learned lady, famed
And still should be so, but the tide is turnd; For every branch of every science known-
There's no more to be said of Trafalgar, In every christian language ever named,
Tis with our hero quietly inurn'd; With virtues equall'd by her wit alone,
Because the army's grown more popular, She made the cleverest people quite ashamed,
At which the naval people are concern'd : And even the good with inward envy groan,
Besides, the Prince is all for the land-service, Finding themselves so very much exceeded
Forgetting Duncan, Nelson, Howe,andJervis. In their own way by all the things that

she did.

same none;

Brave men were living before Agamemnon
And since exceeding valorous and sage, Her meinory was a mine: she knew by heart
A good deal like him too, though quite the All Calderon and greater part of Lope,

So that if any actor miss'd his part
But then they shone not on the poet's page, She could have served him for the prompt-
And so have been forgotten :-1 condemn

er's copy ; none,

For her Feinagle's were a useless art, Bat can't find any in the present age

And he himself obliged to shut up shop-he Fit for my poem (that is, for my new one); Could never make a memory so fine as &, u I said, iiì take my friend Don Juan. That which adorn'd the brain of Donna Inez.

lbst epic poets plunge in “medias res,” Her favourite science was the mathematical, (Arace makes this the heroic turnpike- Her noblest virtue was her magnanimity, road),

Her wit (she sometimes tried at wit) was And then your hero tells, whene'er you

Attic all, please,

Her serious sayings darkend to sublimity; What went before – by way of episode, In short, in all things she was fairly what While seated after dinner at his ease,

I call breide his mistress in some soft abode, A prodigy

y-her morning-dress was dimity, Plaer

, or garden, paradise, or cavern, Her evening silk, or, in the summer, muslin, Which serves the happy couple for a tavern. And other stuffs, with which I won't stay

puzzling.

That is the usual method, but not mine-
My way is to begin with the beginning; She knew the Latin--that is, “the Lord's
The regularity of my design

prayer,”
Forbids all wandering as the worst of sinning, And Greek - the alphabat I'm nearly sure;
And therefore I shall open with a line She read some French romances here and
Kulthongh it cost me halfan hour in spinning)

there, derrating somewhat of Don Juan's father, Although her mode of speaking was not And also of his mother, if you'd rather.

pure ; For native Spanish she had no great care,

At least her conversation was obscure; Serille was he born, a pleasant city, Her thoughts were theorems, her words a luneus for oranges and women - he

problem, He has not seen it will be much to pity, As if she deem'd that mystery would ensays the proverb - and I quite agree;

noble 'em. Of all the Spanish towns is none more

pretty, Cadis perhaps—but that you soon may see:- She liked the English and the Hebrev tongue, Dea Juan's parents lived beside the river, And said there was analogy between 'em; A noble stream, and call'd the Guadalquivir. She proved it somehow out of sacred song,

But I must leave the proofs to those who've

seen 'em ; ha father's name was Jóse - Don, of course, But this I heard her say, and can't be wrong, A tree Hidalgo, free from every stain

And all may think which way their judgOf Moor or Hebrew blood, he traced his

ments lean 'em,

" 'Tis strange--the Hebrew noun which Thesagh the most Gothic gentlemen of

means “I am, Spain; A better cavalier ne'er mounted horse,

The English always use to govern d-n.” Or being mounted, e'er got down again, Than Jóre, who begot our hero, who legel, but that's to come-Well, to renew :

source

you all ?

In short she was a walking calculation, That you might brain them with the Miss Edgeworth's novels stepping from their

lady's fan;" covers,

And sometimes ladies hit exceeding hard Or Mrs. Trimmer's books on education, And fans turn into falchions in fair hand Or “Coelebs' Wife” set out in quest of And why and wherefore no one understand

lovers, Morality's prim personification, In which not Envy's self a flaw discovers ; Tis pity learned virgins ever wed To others’ share let “female crrors fall,” With persons of no sort of education, For she had not even one-the worst of all. Or gentlemen, who, though well-born an

bred,

Grow tired of scientific conversation: Oh! she was perfect past all parallel - I don't choose to say much upon this heai Of any modern female saint's comparison ; I'm a plain man and in a single station. So far above the cunning powers of hell, But-Oh! ye lords of ladies intellectual Her guardian angel had given up his gar- Inform us truly, have they not hen-pech

rison; Even her minutest motions went as well As thosc of the best time-piece made by

Harrison : Don Jóse and his lady quarrelld--why, In virtues nothing earthly could surpass her, Not any of the many could divine, Save thine “incomparable oil,” Macassar! | Though several thousand people chose

try,

'Twas surely no concern of theirs nor min Perfect she was, but as perfection is I loathe that low vice curiosity: Insipid in this naughty world of ours, But if there's any thing in which I shine Where our first parents never learn’d to kiss 'Tis in arranging all iny friends' affairs, Till they were exiled from their earlier Not having, of my own, domestic cares.

bowers, Where all was peace, and innocence, and

bliss,

And so I interfered, and with the best (I wonder how they got through the twelve Intentions, but their treatment was hours)

kind; Don Jóse like a lineal son of Eve,

I think the foolish people were possess' Went plucking various fruit without her For neither of them could I ever find,

leave.

Although their porter afterwards confesel
But that's no matter, and the worst behin

For little Juan o'er me threw, down stai He was a mortal of the careless kind, A pail of housemaid's water unawares. With no great love for learning, or the

learn'd, Who chose to go where'er he had a mind, A little curly-headed, good-for-nothing, And never dream'd his lady was concern'd: And mischief-making monkey from The world, as usual, wickedly inclined

birth; To see a kingdom or a house o’erturn’d, His parents ne'er agreed except in doting Whisper'd he had a mistress, some said two, Upon the most unquiet imp on earth ; But for domestic quarrels one will do. Instead of quarrelling, had they been b

both in

Their senses, they'd have sent young mast Now Donna Inez had with all her merit,

forth A great opinion of her own good qualities; To school, or had him soundly whipp Neglect, indeed, requires a saint to bear it,

at home, And such, indeed, she was in her moralities; To teach him manners for the time to com But then she had a devil of a spirit, And sometimes mix'd up fancies with re

alities,

Don Jóse and the Donna Inez led And let few opportunities escape

For some time an unhappy sort of life, Of getting her liege lord into a scrape. Wishing each other, not divorced, bu

dead;

They lived respectably as man and wife, This was an easy matter with a man Their conduct was exceedingly well-bret Oft in the wrong, and never on his guard; And gave no outward signs of inward strifi And even the wisest, do the best they can, Until at length the smother'd fire broke out Have moments, hours, and days, so unpre- And put the business past all kind pared,

donbt.

cause ;

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For Inez call'd some druggists and physi-|('Twere hard to tell upon a like occasion cians,

To whom it may be best to liave recourseAnd tried to prove her loving lord was mad, I can't say much for friend or yet relation): But as he had some lucid intermissions, The lawyers did their utmost for divorce,

She next decided he was only bad; But scarce a fee was paid on either side * Yet when they ask'd her for her depositions, Before, unluckily, Don Jóse died.

No sort of explanation could be had,
Save that her duty both to man and God
Required this conduct – which seem'd very He died : and most unluckily, because,
odd.

According to all hints I could collect,
From counsel learned in those kinds of laws

(Although their talk's obscure and circumShe kept a journal, where his faults were

spect), noted,

His death contrived to spoil a charming And ee'd certain trunks of books and letters,

A thousand pities also with respect all which might, if occasion served, be To public feeling, which on this occasion quoted;

Was manifested in a great sensation. And then she had all Seville for abettors, i Besides her good old grandmother (who .

doted);

But ah! he died! and buried with him lay The bearers of her case became repeaters, The public feeling and the lawyer's fees; Then advocates, inquisitors, and judges, His house was sold, his servants sent Suite for amusement, others for old grudges.

away,
A Jew took one of his two mistresses,

A priest the other—at least so they say: band then this best and meekest woman bore I ask'd the doctors after his disease, Hih such serenity her husband's woes,

He died of the slow fever called the tertian, best as the Spartan ladies did of yore,

And left his widow to her own aversion. libo saw their spouses kill'd, and nobly

chose Jerer to say a word about them more- Yet Jóse was an honourable man, Calmly she heard each calumny that rose, That I must say, who knew him very well; Ad av his agonies with such sublimity, Therefore his frailties I'll no further scan, That all the world exclaim'd, “What Indeed there were not many more to tell; magnanimity!" And if his passion now and then outran

Discretion, and were not so peaceable

As Numa's (who was also named Pompilius), le doubt, this patience, when the world He had been ill brought up, and was born is damning us,

bilious. bphilosophic in our former friends ; Txalso pleasant to be deem'd magnanimous, The more so in obtaining our own ends ; Whate'er might be his worthlessness or and what the lawyers call a malus animus,

worth, feaduct like this by no means comprehends: Poor fellow! he had many things to wound kevenge in person's certainly no virtue,

him, But then 'tis not my fault if others hurt you. Let's own, since it can do no good on earth;

It was a trying moment that which found hiin

Standing alone beside his desolate hearth, And if our quarrels should rip up old stories, where all his household-gods lay shiverd And help them with a lie or two additional,

round him; la not to blame, as you well know, no No choice was left his feelings or his pride more is

Save death or Doctors' Commons-so he died. day one else they were become traditional; Besides, their resurrection aids our glories By contrast, which is what we just were Dying intestate, Juan was sole heir

wishing all : To a chancery-suit, and messuages, and And science profits by this resurrection

lands, Dead scandals form good subjects for dis- which, with a long minority and care, section.

Promised to turn out well in proper hands :
Inez became sole guardian, which was fair,

And answer'd but to nature's just demands:
Their friends had tried at reconciliation, An only son left with an only mother
Then their relations, who made matters is brought up much more wisely than
worse

another.

Sagest of women, even of widows, she So much indeed as to be downright rude Resolved that Juan should be quite a And then what proper person can be partial

paragon,

To all those nauseous epigrams of Martial 1 And worthy of the noblest pedigree (His sire was of Castile, his dam from

Arragon): Juan was taught from out the best edition, Then for accomplishments of chivalry, Expurgated by learned men, who place, In case our lord the king should go to war Judiciously, from out the schoolboy's vision,

again,

The grosser parts; but fearful to deface He learned the arts of riding, fencing Too much their modest bard by this omission,

gunnery,

And pitying sore his mutilated case, And how to scale a fortress—or a nunnery. They only add them all in an appendix,

Which saves, in fact, the trouble of an index;

hired,

But that which Donna Inez most desired,
And saw into herself each day before all For there we have them all “at one fel
The learned tutors whom for him she

swoop,"

Instead of being scatter'd through the pages Was that his breeding should be strictly They stand forth marshall'd in a handsom moral;

troop, Much into all his studies she inquired, To meet the ingenuous youth of future ages And so they were submitted first to her, all, Till some less rigid editor shall stoop Arts, sciences, no branch was made a mystery To call them back into their separate cages To Juan's eyes, excepting natural history. Instead of standing staring altogether,

Like garden-gods--and not so decent, either

The languages, especially the dead,
The scientes, and most of all the abstruse, The Missal too (it was the family-Missal
The arts, at least all such as could be said Was ornamented in a sort of way
To be the most remote from common use, Which ancient mass-books often are, an
In all these he was much and deeply read;

this all
But not a page of any thing that's loose, Kinds of grotesques illumined; and how they
Or hints continuation of the species, Who saw those figures on the margin kiss al
Was ever sufferd, lest he should grow Could turn their optics to the text and pra

vicious.

Is more than I know -- but Don Juan's mothe

kept this herself, and gave her son another. His classic studies made a little puzzle, Because of filthy loves of gods and goddesses, Sermons he read, and lectures he endured Who in the earlier ages raised a bustle, And homilies, and lives of all the saints; But never put on pantaloons or bodices; To Jerome and to Chrysostom inured, His reverend tutors had at times a tussle, He did not take such studies for restraints And for their Aeneids, Tiads and Odysseys, But how faith is acquired, and then insuret Were forced to make an odd sort of apology, So well not one of the aforesaid paints For Donna Inez dreaded the mythology. As Saint Augustine, in his fine Confessions

Which make the reader envy his trans

gressions. Ovid's a rake , as half his verses show him : Anacreon's morals are a still worse sample; Catullus scarcely has a decent poem; This, too, was a scal'd book to little JuanI don't think Sappho's Ode a good example, I can't but say that his mamma was right Although Longinus tells us there is no hymn If such an education was the true one. Where the sublime soars forth on wings She scarcely trusted him from out her sight

more ample; Her maids were old, and if she took Bat Virgil's songs are pure, except that

new one horrid one

You might be sure she was a perfect fright Beginning with“Formosum Pastor Corydon.” Shedid this during even her husband's life

I recommend as much to every wise. Lucretins' irreligion is too strong For early stomachs, to prove wholesome Young Juan ward in goodliness and grace

food;

At six a charming child, and at eleven I can't help thinking Juvenal was wrong, With all the promise of as fine a face Although no doubt his real intent was good. As e'er to man's maturer growth was given For speaking out so plainly in his song, He studied steadily and grew apare,

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