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who disposes of events, and governs futurity. I must let you know, that the design of this He sees at one view the whole thread of paper is to give you information of a certain my existence, not only that part of it which irregular assembly, which I think falls very I have already passed through, but that properly under your observation, especially which runs forward into all the depths of since the persons it is composed of are eternity. When I lay me down to sleep, I criminals too considerable for the animadrecommend myself to his care; when Iversions of our society, I mean, sir, the awake, I give myself up to his direction. | Midnight Mask, which has of late been Amidst all the evils that threaten me, I will frequently held in one of the most conspiculook up to him for help, and question not ous parts of the town, and which I hear but he will either avert them, or turn them will be continued with additions and imto my advantage. Though I know neither provements. As all the persons who comthe time nor the manner of the death I am pose the lawless assembly are masked, we to die, I am not at all solicitous about it; dare not attack any of them in our way, lest because I am sure that he knows them both, we should send a woman of quality to Brideand that he will not fail to comfort and sup- well, or a peer of Great Britain to the Counport me under them.
ter: besides that their numbers are so very great, that I am afraid they would be able
to rout our whole fraternity, though we No. 8.] Friday, March 9, 1710-11,
were accompanied with our guard of con
stables. Both these reasons, which secure At Venus obscuro gradientes aere sepsit,
them from our authority, make them obEt multo nebulæ circum Dea fudit amictu,
noxious to yours; as both their disguise and Cernere ne quis eos
Virg. En. i. 415.
their numbers will give no particular perThey march obscure, for Venus kindly shrouds
son reason to think himself affronted by you. With mists their persons, and involves in clouds.
Drydon. 'If we are rightly informed, the rules I SHALL here communicate to the world that are observed by this new society, are id couple of letters, which I believe will
which I helieve will wonderfully contrived for the advancement give the reader as good an entertainment as
of cuckoldom. The women either come by any that I am able to furnish him with, and themselves, or are introduced by friends, therefore shall make no apology for them:
who are obliged to quit them, upon their
first entrance, to the conversation of any "To the Spectator, &C.
body that addresses himself to them. There SIR,
are several rooms where the parties may I am one of the directors of the society retire, and if they please, show their faces for the reformation of manners, and there- by consent. Whispers, squeezes, nods, and fore think myself a proper person for your embraces, are the innocent freedoms of the correspondence. I have thoroughly ex-place. In short, the whole design of this amined the present state of religion in libidinous assembly seems to terminate in Great Britain, and am able to acquaint you assignations and intrigues; and I hope you with the predominant vice of every market will take effectual methods, by your public town in the whole island. I can tell you the advice and admonitions, to prevent such a. progress that virtue has made in all our promiscuous multitude of both sexes from cities, boroughs, and corporations; and know meeting together in so clandestine a manner.. as well the evil practices that are committed in Berwick or Exeter, as what is done Your humble servant, and fellow-labourer, in my own family. In a word, Sir, I have
“T. B.' my correspondents in the remotest parts of the nation, who send me up punctual ac
Not long after the perusal of this letter, counts, from time to time, of all the little I received another upon the same subiect: irregularities that fall under their notice in which, by the date and style of it, I take to their several districts and divisions.
| be written by some young templar: "I am no less acquainted with the par- Sir,
Middle Temple, 1710-11. ticular quarters and regions of this great “When a man has been guilty of any vice town, than with the different parts and dis- or folly, I think the best atonement he can tributions of the whole nation. I can de- make for it, is to warn others not to fall into scribe every parish by its impieties, and the like. In order to this I must acquaint can tell you in which of our streets lewd- you, that some time in February last I went ness prevails, which gaming has taken to the Tuesday's masquerade. Upon my possession of, and where drunkenness has first going in I was attacked by half a dozen got the better of them both. When I am female quakers, who seemed willing to disposed to raise a fine for the poor, I know adopt me for a brother; but upon a nearer the lanes and alleys that are inhabited by examination I found they were a sisterhood common swearers. When I would encou- of coquettes, disguised in that precise habit. rage the hospital of Bridewell, and improve I was soon after taken out to dance, and as the hempen manufacture, I am very well I fancied, by a woman of the first quality, acquainted with all the haunts and resorts for she was very tall, and moved gracefully. of female night-walkers.
As soon as the minuet was over, we ogled 6 After this short account of myself, I one another through our masks; and as I
am very well road in Waller, I repeated to of folding doors. If a candidate for this corher the four following verses out of his poem pulent club could make his entrance through to Vandyke:
the first, he was looked upon as unqualified; "The heedless lover does not know
but if he stuck in the passage, and could Whose eyes they are that wound him so;
But, confounded with thy art, · Inquires her name that has his heart.” doors were immediately thrown open for I pronounced these words with such a ti
This reception, and he was saluted as a bro
ther. I have heard that this club, though languishing air, that I had some reason to
it consisted but of fifteen persons, weighed conclude I had made a conquest. She told
above three tons. me that she hoped my face was not akin to my tongue, and looking upon her watch, I
In opposition to this society, there sprung accidentally discovered the figure of a coro
up another composed of scarecrows and
skeletons, who, being very meagre and ennet on the back part of it. I was so trans
vious, did all they could to thwart the deported with the thought of such an amour,
signs of their buľky brethren, whom they that I plied her from one room to another with all the gallantries I could invent; and
represented as men of dangerous principles; at length brought things to so happy an favour of the people, and consequently out
till at length they worked them out of the issue, that she gave me a private meeting of the mas
ng of the magistracy. These factions tore the the next day, without page or footman, coach or equipage. My heart danced in
corporation in pieces for several years, till
at length they came to this accommodation: raptures; but I had not lived in this golden
that the two bailiffs of the town should be dream above three days, before I found
annually chosen out of the two clubs; by good reason to wish that I had continued
which means the principal magistrates are true to my laundress. I have since heard,
at this day coupled like rabbits, one fat and by a very great accident, that this fine lady
one lean.. does not live far from Covent-garden, and
Every one has heard of the club, or rathat I am not the first cully whom she has thi
ther the confederacy of the Kings. This passed herself upon for a countess.
grand alliance was formed a little after the’ Thus, sir, you see how I have mistaken
return of King Charles the Second, and ada cloud for a Juno; and if you can make anym use of this adventure, for the benefit of fer
mitted into it men of all qualities and pro
Cofessions, provided they agreed in the surthose who may possibly be as vain young
ng name of King, which, as they imagined, coxcombs as myself, I do most heartily give
sufficiently declared the owners of it to be you leave. "I am, Sir,
altogether untainted with republican and Your most humble admirer,
anti-monarchical principles. 'B. L.' 1.
! A christian name has likewise been often I design to visit the next masquerade
used as a badge of distinction, and made the
Joccasion of a club. That of the Georges, myself, in the same habit I wore at Grand Cairo; and till then shall suspend my judg
which used to meet at the sign of the
George, on St. George's day, and swear ment of this midnight entertainment. Ce
Before George,' is still fresh in every one's | memory.
There are at present, in several parts of No. 9.] Saturday, March 10, 1710-11. this city, what they call street-clubs, in - Tigris agit rabida cum tigride pacem
which the chief inhabitants of the street Perpetuam: sævis inter se convenit ursis.
converse together every night. I rememJuv. Sat. xv. 163.
ber, upon my inquiring after lodgings in Tiger with tiger, bear with bear you'll find
Ormond-street, the landlord, to recommend In leagues offensive and defensive join'd. Tete.
that quarter of the town, told me, there Man is said to be a sociable animal, and, was at that time a very good club in it; he as an instance of it, we may observe, that also told me, upon further discourse with we take all occasions and pretences of form- him, that two or three noisy country ing ourselves into those little nocturnal as- 'squires, who were settled there the year' semblies, which are commonly known by before, had considerably sunk the price of the name of clubs. When a set of men find house-rent; and that the club (to prevent themselves agree in any particular, though the like inconveniencies for the future) had never so trivial, they establish themselves thoughts of taking every house that became into a kind of fraternity and meet once or vacant into their own hands, till they had twice a week, upon the account of such a fan- found a tenant for it, of a sociable nature tastic resemblance. I know a considerable and good conversation. market-town, in which there was a club of The Hum-Drum club, of which I was fat men, that did not come together (as you formerly an unworthy member, was made may well suppose) to entertain one another up of very honest gentlemen, of peaceable with sprightliness and wit, but to keep one dispositions, that used to sit together, Another in countenance. The room where smoke their pipes, and say nothing, till midthe club met was something of the largest, night. The Mum club (as I am informed) and had two entrances, the one by a door is an institution of the same nature and as of a moderate size, and the other by a pair | great an enemy to noise.
After these two innocent societies, I can- | Rules to be observed in the Two-penny not forbear mentioning a very mischievous Club, erected in this place, for the preone, that was erected in the reign of King servation of friendship and good neighCharles the second: I mean the club of bourhood. duellists, in which none was to be admitted
I. Every member at his first coming in that had not fought his man. The presi
shall lay down his two-pence. dent of it was said to have killed half a do
II. Every member shall fill his pipe out zen in single combat; and as for the other members, they took their seats according
of his own box. to the number of their slain. There was
III. If any member absents himself he
shall forfeito a penny for the use of the likewise a side-table, for such as had only drawn blood, and shown a laudable ambi- |
club, unless in case of sickness or imprison
ment. tion of taking the first opportunity to quali
IV. If any member swears or curses, his fy themselves for the first table. This club, | consisting only of men of honour, did not
neighbour may give him a kick upon the
shins. continue long, most of the members of it
V. If any member tells stories in the club being put to the sword, or hanged, a little that are not true. he shall forfeit for every after its institution.
| third lie an half-penny. Our modern celebrated clubs are found
VI. If any member strikes another ed upon eating and drinking, which are
wrongfully he shall pay his club for him. points wherein most men agree, and in
VII. If any member brings his wife into which the learned and the illiterate, the
the club, he shall pay for whatever she dull and the airy, the philosopher and the
drinks or smokes. buffoon, can all of them bear a part. The
VIII. If any member's wife comes to Kit-cat* itself is said to have taken its ori
Il fetch him home from the club, she shall ginal from a mutton-pie. The Beef-steakti
speak to him without the door. and October clubs are neither of them
|IX. If any member calls another a cuckaverse to eating and drinking, if we may,
Yold, he shall be turned out of the club. form a judgment of them from their re-1°
re- X. None shall be admitted into the club spective titles.
that is of the same trade with any member When men are thus knit together, by a |
of it. love of society, not a spirit of faction, and
1 XI. None of the club shall have his
to do not meet to censure or annoy those that
| clothes or shoes made or mended, but by a are absent, but to enjoy one another; when |
brother member. they are thus combined for their own im
:XII. No non-juror shall be capable of provement, or for the good of others, or at
being a member. least to relax themselves from the business of the day, by an innocent and cheerful con- The morality of this little club is guarded versation, there may be something very by such wholesome laws and penalties, useful in these little institutions and esta-that I question not but my reader will be blishments.
as well pleased with them as he would I cannot forbear concluding this paper have been with the Leges Convivales of with a scheme of laws that I met with upon Ben Jonson, the regulations of an old a wall in a 'little alehouse. How I came | Roman club, cited by Lipsius, or the rules thither I may inform my reader at a more of a Symposium in an ancient Greek auconvenient time. These laws were enact- thor.
C. ed by a knot of artisans and mechanics, who used to meet every night; and as there is something in them which gives us a pretty picture of low life, I shall tran
No. 10.] Monday, March 12, 1710-11. scribe them word for word.
Non aliter quam qui adverso vix flumine lembum,
Atque illum in præceps prono rapit alveus amni. *This club, which took its name from Christopher
Virg. Georg. i. v. 201 Cat, the maker of their mutton-pies, was originally formed in Shire-lane, about the time of the trial of the So the boat's brawny crew the current stem seven bishops, for a little free evening conversation, And slow advancing, struggle with the stream: but in Queen Anne's reign comprehended above forty But if they slack their hands, or cease to strive, noblemen and gentlemen of the first rank, all firm Then down the flood with headlong haste they drive. friends to the Hanoverian succession. The verses for
Dryden. tleir toasting glasses were written by Garth, and the Portraits of all its members painted by Kneller, who
It is with much satisfaction that I hear was himself one of their number; hence all portraits of the same dimensions are at this time known by the
these my papers, and receiving my inornname of Kit Cat. Jacob Tonson, the bookseller, was their secretary, and built a gallery at his house at Barn
ing lectures with a becoming seriousness Elms, for the reception of the pictures, and where the clus occasionally held its meetings. From Tonson, there are already three thousand of them this valuable collection has come by inheritance to Samuel Baker, Esq. of Hertingfordbury, near Hertford.
atferdio | distributed every day : so that if I allow † Of this club, it is said, that Mrs. Woffington, the only woman belonging to it, was president; Richard Estcourt, the comedian, was their provedore, and as an honourable badge of his office, wore a small gridiron
reckon about threescore thousand disciples of gold hung round his neck with a green silk riband. 1 in London and Westminster, who I hope
will take care to distinguish themselves from There is another set of men that I must the thoughtless herd of their ignorant and likewise lay a claim to, whom I have lately inattentive brethren. Since I have raised called the blanks of society, as being alton to myself so great an audience, I shall spare gether unfurnished with ideas, till the buno pains to make their instruction agree-siness and conversation of the day has sup. able, and their diversion useful. For which plied them. I have often considered those reasons I shall endeavour to enliven mo-poor souls with an eye of great commiserarality with wit, and to temper wit with tion, when I have heard them asking the morality, that my readers may, if possible, first man they have met with, whether both ways find their account in the specu- there was any news stirring? and by that lation of the day. And to the end that means gathering together materials for their virtue and discretion may not be thinking. These needy persons do not know short, transient, intermitting starts of what to talk of, till about twelve o'clock in thought, I have resolved to refresh their me- the morning; for by that time they are mories from day to day, till I have recover pretty good judges of the weather, know ed them out of that desperate state of vice which way the wind sits, and whether the and folly into which the age is fallen. The Dutch mail be come in. As they lie at the mind that lies fallow but a single day, mercy of the first man they meet, and are sprouts up in follies that are only to be kill- grave or impertinent all the day long, aced by a constant and assiduous culture. It cording to the notions which they have was said of Socrates, that he brought phi- imbibed in the morning, I would earnestly losophy down from heaven, to inhabit entreat them not to stir out of their chamamong men; and I shall be ambitious to bers till they have read this paper, and do have it said of me that I have brought phi- promise them that I will daily instil into osophy out of closets and libraries, schools, them such sound and wholesome sentiand colleges, to dwell in clubs and assem-ments, as shall have a good effect on their blies, at tea-tables, and in coffee-houses. conversation for the ensuing twelve hours.
I would, therefore, in a very particular (But there are none to whom this paper manner, recommend these my speculations will be more useful than to the female: to all well-regulated families, that set world. I have often thought there has not apart an hour in every morning for tea been sufficient pains taken in finding out and bread and butter; and would earnestly proper employments and diversions for the advise them, for their good, to order this fair ones. Their amusements seem con
aper to be punctually served up, and to be trived for them, rather as they are women, looked upon as a part of the tea-equipage. than as they are reasonable creatures; and
Sir Francis Bacon observes, that a well- are more adapted to the sex than to the written book, compared with its rivals and species. The toilet is their great scene of antagonists, is like Moses's serpent, that business, and the right adjusting of their immediately swallowed up and devoured hair the principal employment of their those of the Egyptians. I shall not be so lives. The sorting of a suit of ribands is vain as to think, that where the Spectator reckoned a very good morning's work; and appears, the other public prints will vanish; if they make an excursion to a mercer's or but shall leave it to my reader's considera- a toy-shop, so great a fatigue makes them tion, whether it is not much better to be let unfit for any thing else all the day after, into the knowledge of one's self, than to hear Their more serious occupations are sew what passes in Muscovy or Poland; and to ing and embroidery, and their greatest, amuse ourselves with such writings as tend drudgery the preparations of jellies and to the wearing out of ignorance, passion, sweetmeats. This, I say, is the state of and prejudice, than such as naturally con- ordinary women; though I know there are duce to inflame hatreds, and make enmi- multitudes of those of a more elevated life ties irreconcilable?
and conversation, that move in an exalted In the next place I would recommend sphere of knowledge and virtue, that joii: his paper to the daily perusal of those gen- | all the beauties of the mind to the ornatlemen whom I cannot but consider as my ments of dress, and inspire a kind of awe good brothers and allies, I mean the fra- and respect, as well as love, into their ternity of Spectators, who live in the world male beholders. I hope to increase the without having any thing to do in it; and number of these by publishing this daily either by the affluence of their fortunes, or paper, which I shall always endeavour to laziness of their dispositions, have no other make an innocent if not an improving enbusiness with the rest of mankind, but to tertainment, and by that means at least dilook upon them. Under this class of men vert the minds of my female readers from are comprehended all contemplative trades- greater trifles. At the same time, as ) mèn, titular physicians, fellows of the royal would fain give some finishing touches to society, templars that are not given to be those which are already the most beautiful contentious, and statesmen that are out of pieces in human nature, I shall endeavour business; in short, every one that considers to point out all those imperfections that are the world as a theatre, and desires to the blemishes, as well as those virtues form a right judgment of those who are the which are the embellishments, of the sex, actors on it.
In the meanwhile, I hope there my gen
tie readers, who have so much time on no opportunity, till the larum ceased of it their hands, will not grudge throwing away self, which it did not till he had repeated a quarter of an hour in a day on this paper, | and murdered the celebrated story of the since they may do it without any hindrance Ephesian matron. to business.
Arietta seemed to regard this piece of I know several of my friends and well-raillery as an outrage done to her sex; as wishers are in great pain for me, lest I indeed I have always observed that woshould not be able to keep up the spirit of a men, whether out of a nicer regard to their paper which I oblige myself to furnish every honour, or what other reason, I cannot day; but to make them easy in this parti- tell, are more sensibly touched with those cular, I will promise them faithfully to give general aspersions which are cast upon it over as soon as I grow dull. This I know their sex, than men are by what is said of will be a matter of great raillery to the theirs. small wits, who will frequently put me in: When she had a little recovered herself mind of my promise, desire me to keep my from the serious anger she was in, she reword, assure me that it is high time to plied in the following manner. give over, with many other little pleasant- 1 "Sir, when I consider how perfectly new ries of the like nature, which men of a lit- | all you have said on this subject is, and that tle smart genius cannot forbear throwing the story you have given us is not quite two out against their best friends, when they thousand years old, I cannot but think it a have such a handle given them of being piece of presumption to dispute it with you: witty. But let them remember, that I do but your quotations put me in mind of the hereby enter my caveat against this piece fable of the lion and the man. The man of raillery.
C. walking with that noble animal, showed
him, in the ostentation of human supe
riority, a sign of a man killing a lion. Upon No. 11.] Tuesday, March 13, 1710-11.
which, the lion said, very justly, "Wo
lions are none of us painters, else we could Dat veniam corvis, vexat censura columbas. show a hundred men killed by lions, for
Juv. Sat. ii. 63.
one lion killed by a man." You men are The doves are censurd, while the crows are spard.
writers, and can represent us women as ARIETTA is visited by all persons of both unbecoming as you please in your works, sexes, who have any pretence to wit and while we are unable to return the injury. gallantry. She is in that time of life which You have twice or thrice observed in your is neither affected with the follies of youth, discourse, that hypocrisy is the very founor infirmities of age; and her conversa- dation of our education; and that an ability tion is so mixed with gaiety and prudence, to dissemble our affections is a professed that she is agreeable both to the old and part of our breeding. These, and such the young. Her behaviour is very frank, other reflections, are sprinkled up and without being in the least blameable; and down the writings of all ages, by authors, as she is out of the track of any amorous or who leave behind them memorials of their ambitious pursuits of her own, her visitors resentment against the scorn of particular entertain her with accounts of themselves women, in invectives against the whole very freely, whether they concern their sex. Such a writer, I doubt not, was the passions or their interests. I made her a celebrated Petronius, who invented the visit this afternoon, having been formerly pleasant aggravations of the frailty of the introduced to the honour of her acquaint-Ephesian lady; but when we consider this ance by my friend Will Honeycomb, who question between the sexes, which has has prevailed upon her to admit me some- been either a point of dispute or raillery times into her assembly, as a civil inoffen- ever since there were men and women, let sive man. I found her accompanied with us take facts from plain people, and from one person only, a common-place talker, such as have not either ambition or capawho, upon my entrance, arose, and after a city to embellish their narrations with any very slight civility sat down again; then, beauties of imagination. I was the other turning to Arietta, pursued his discourse, day amusing myself with Lignon's Account which I found was upon the old topic of of 'Barbadoes; and in answer to your weilconstancy in love. He went on with great wrought tale, I will give you (as it dwells facility in repeating what he talks every | upon my memory) out of that honest traday of his life; and with the ornaments of veller, in his fifty-fifth page, the history of insignificant laughs and gestures, enforced Inkle and Yarico. his arguments by quotations out of plays Mr. Thomas Inkle, of London, aged and songs, which allude to the perjuries of twenty years, embarked in the Downs, in the fair, and the general levity of women. (the good ship called the Achilles, bound Methought he strove to shine more than for the West Indies, on the 16th of June, ordinarily in his talkative way, that he | 1647, in order to improve his fortune by might insult my silence, and distinguish trade and merchandise. Our adventurer himself before a woman of Arietta's taste was the third son of an eminent citizen, and understanding. She had often an in- who had taken particular care to instil into clination to interrupt him, but could find his mind an early love of gain, by making