Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

irregular assembly, which I think falls very properly under your observation, especially since the persons it is composed of are criminals too considerable for the animadversions of our society. I mean, sir, the Midnight Mask, which has of late been frequently held in one of the most conspicuous parts of the town, and which I hear will be continued with additions and improvements. As all the persons who compose the lawless assembly are masked, we dare not attack any of them in our way, lest we should send a woman of quality to Bride

who disposes of events, and governs futurity. I must let you know, that the design of this He sees at one view the whole thread of paper is to give you information of a certain my existence, not only that part of it which I have already passed through, but that which runs forward into all the depths of eternity. When I lay me down to sleep, I recommend myself to his care; when I awake, I give myself up to his direction. Amidst all the evils that threaten me, I will look up to him for help, and question not but he will either avert them, or turn them to my advantage. Though I know neither the time nor the manner of the death I am to die, I am not at all solicitous about it; because I am sure that he knows them both, and that he will not fail to comfort and sup-well, or a peer of Great Britain to the Counport me under them.

No. 8.]

Friday, March 9, 1710-11.

C.

ter: besides that their numbers are so very great, that I am afraid they would be able to rout our whole fraternity, though we were accompanied with our guard of constables. Both these reasons, which secure them from our authority, make them obnoxious to yours; as both their disguise and Virg. Æn. i. 415. their numbers will give no particular person reason to think himself affronted by you.

At Venus obscuro gradientes aere sepsit,
Et multo nebulæ circum Dea fudit amictu,
Cernere ne quis eos-

They march obscure, for Venus kindly shrouds
With mists their persons, and involves in clouds.

Dryden. I SHALL here communicate to the world a couple of letters, which I believe will give the reader as good an entertainment as any that I am able to furnish him with, and therefore shall make no apology for them:

[blocks in formation]

"I am one of the directors of the society for the reformation of manners, and therefore think myself a proper person for your correspondence. I have thoroughly examined the present state of religion in Great Britain, and am able to acquaint you with the predominant vice of every market town in the whole island. I can tell you the progress that virtue has made in all our cities, boroughs, and corporations; and know as well the evil practices that are committed in Berwick or Exeter, as what is done in my own family. In a word, Sir, I have my correspondents in the remotest parts of the nation, who send me up punctual accounts, from time to time, of all the little irregularities that fall under their notice in their several districts and divisions.

"If we are rightly informed, the rules that are observed by this new society, are wonderfully contrived for the advancement of cuckoldom. The women either come by themselves, or are introduced by friends, who are obliged to quit them, upon their first entrance, to the conversation of any body that addresses himself to them. There are several rooms where the parties may retire, and if they please, show their faces by consent. Whispers, squeezes, nods, and embraces, are the innocent freedoms of the place. In short, the whole design of this libidinous assembly seems to terminate in assignations and intrigues; and I hope you will take effectual methods, by your public advice and admonitions, to prevent such a promiscuous multitude of both sexes from meeting together in so clandestine a manner.. "I am,

Your humble servant, and fellow-labourer, 'T. B.'

Not long after the perusal of this letter, I received another upon the same subject; which, by the date and style of it, I take to be written by some young templar: SIR,

'I am no less acquainted with the parMiddle Temple, 1710-11. ticular quarters and regions of this great 'When a man has been guilty of any vice town, than with the different parts and dis-or folly, I think the best atonement he can tributions of the whole nation. I can de- make for it, is to warn others not to fall into scribe every parish by its impieties, and the like. In order to this I must acquaint can tell you in which of our streets lewd-you, that some time in February last I went ness prevails, which gaming has taken to the Tuesday's masquerade. Upon my possession of, and where drunkenness has got the better of them both. When I am disposed to raise a fine for the poor, I know the lanes and alleys that are inhabited by common swearers. When I would encourage the hospital of Bridewell, and improve the hempen manufacture, I am very well acquainted with all the haunts and resorts of female night-walkers.

'After this short account of myself, I

first going in I was attacked by half a dozen female quakers, who seemed willing to adopt me for a brother; but upon a nearer examination I found they were a sisterhood of coquettes, disguised in that precise habit. I was soon after taken out to dance, and as I fancied, by a woman of the first quality, for she was very tall, and moved gracefully. As soon as the minuet was over, we ogled one another through our masks; and as I

am very well read in Waller, I repeated to her the four following verses out of his poem to Vandyke:

"The heedless lover does not know

Whose eyes they are that wound him so;
But, confounded with thy art,
Inquires her name that has his heart."

| of folding doors. If a candidate for this corpulent club could make his entrance through the first, he was looked upon as unqualified; but if he stuck in the passage, and could not force his way through it, the foldingdoors were immediately thrown open for his reception, and he was saluted as a brother. I have heard that this club, though it consisted but of fifteen persons, weighed above three tons.

I pronounced these words with such a languishing air, that I had some reason to conclude I had made a conquest. She told me that she hoped my face was not akin to In opposition to this society, there sprung my tongue, and looking upon her watch, I up another composed of scarecrows and accidentally discovered the figure of a coro- skeletons, who, being very meagre and ennet on the back part of it. I was so trans-vious, did all they could to thwart the deported with the thought of such an amour, that I plied her from one room to another with all the gallantries I could invent; and at length brought things to so happy an issue, that she gave me a private meeting the next day, without page or footman, coach or equipage. My heart danced in raptures; but I had not lived in this golden dream above three days, before I found good reason to wish that I had continued good reason to wish that I had continued true to my laundress. I have since heard, by a very great accident, that this fine lady does not live far from Covent-garden, and that I am not the first cully whom she has passed herself upon for a countess.

‘Thus, sir, you see how I have mistaken Thus, sir, you see how I have mistaken a cloud for a Juno; and if you can make any use of this adventure, for the benefit of those who may possibly be as vain young coxcombs as myself, I do most heartily give you leave.

'I am, Sir,

"Your most humble admirer,
'B. L.'

I design to visit the next masquerade myself, in the same habit I wore at Grand Cairo; and till then shall suspend my judgment of this midnight entertainment.

No. 9.] Saturday, March 10, 1710-11.
-Tigris agit rabida cum tigride pacem
Perpetuam: sævis inter se convenit ursis.

C.

Juv. Sat. xv. 163.
Tiger with tiger, bear with bear you'll find
In leagues offensive and defensive join'd.

Tate.

MAN is said to be a sociable animal, and, as an instance of it, we may observe, that we take all occasions and pretences of forming ourselves into those little nocturnal assemblies, which are commonly known by the name of clubs. When a set of men find themselves agree in any particular, though never so trivial, they establish themselves into a kind of fraternity and meet once or twice a week, upon the account of such a fantastic resemblance. I know a considerable market-town, in which there was a club of fat men, that did not come together (as you may well suppose) to entertain one another with sprightliness and wit, but to keep one another in countenance. The room where the club met was something of the largest, and had two entrances, the one by a door of a moderate size, and the other by a pair

signs of their bulky brethren, whom they represented as men of dangerous principles; till at length they worked them out of the favour of the people, and consequently out of the magistracy. These factions tore the corporation in pieces for several years, till at length they came to this accommodation: that the two bailiffs of the town should be annually chosen out of the two clubs; by which means the principal magistrates are at this day coupled like rabbits, one fat and one lean.

Every one has heard of the club, or rather the confederacy of the Kings. This return of King Charles the Second, and adgrand alliance was formed a little after the mitted into it men of all qualities and professions, provided they agreed in the surname of King, which, as they imagined, sufficiently declared the owners of it to be altogether untainted with republican and anti-monarchical principles.

A christian name has likewise been often used as a badge of distinction, and made the occasion of a club. That of the Georges, which used to meet at the sign of the George, on St. George's day, and swear Before George,' is still fresh in every one's

memory.

There are at present, in several parts of this city, what they call street-clubs, in which the chief inhabitants of the street converse together every night. I remember, upon my inquiring after lodgings in Ormond-street, the landlord, to recommend that quarter of the town, told me, there was at that time a very good club in it; he also told me, upon further discourse with him, that two or three noisy country 'squires, who were settled there the year before, had considerably sunk the price of house-rent; and that the club (to prevent the like inconveniencies for the future) had thoughts of taking every house that became vacant into their own hands, till they had found a tenant for it, of a sociable nature and good conversation.

The Hum-Drum club, of which I was formerly an unworthy member, was made up of very honest gentlemen, of peaceable dispositions, that used to sit together, smoke their pipes, and say nothing, till midnight. The Mum club (as I am informed) is an institution of the same nature and as great an enemy to noise.

After these two innocent societies, I can- | Rules to be observed in the Two-penny

not forbear mentioning a very mischievous one, that was erected in the reign of King Charles the second: I mean the club of duellists, in which none was to be admitted that had not fought his man. The president of it was said to have killed half a dozen in single combat; and as for the other members, they took their seats according to the number of their slain. There was likewise a side-table, for such as had only drawn blood, and shown a laudable ambition of taking the first opportunity to qualify themselves for the first table. This club, consisting only of men of honour, did not continue long, most of the members of it Deing put to the sword, or hanged, a little

after its institution.

Our modern celebrated clubs are founded upon eating and drinking, which are points wherein most men agree, and in which the learned and the illiterate, the dull and the airy, the philosopher and the buffoon, can all of them bear a part. The Kit-cat* itself is said to have taken its original from a mutton-pie. The Beef-steakt and October clubs are neither of them averse to eating and drinking, if we may form a judgment of them from their respective titles.

When men are thus knit together, by a love of society, not a spirit of faction, and do not meet to censure or annoy those that are absent, but to enjoy one another; when

they are thus combined for their own improvement, or for the good of others, or at least to relax themselves from the business of the day, by an innocent and cheerful conversation, there may be something very useful in these little institutions and establishments.

Club, erected in this place, for the preservation of friendship and good neighbourhood.

I. Every member at his first coming in shall lay down his two-pence.

of his own box.
II. Every member shall fill his pipe out

shall forfeit a penny for the use of the
III. If any member absents himself he
club, unless in case of sickness or imprison-

ment.

neighbour may give him a kick upon the IV. If any member swears or curses, his

shins.

[ocr errors]

that are not true, he shall forfeit for every V. If any member tells stories in the club third lie an half-penny.

VI. If any member strikes another wrongfully he shall pay his club for him.

VII. If any member brings his wife into the club, he shall pay for whatever she

drinks or smokes.

fetch him home from the club, she shall
VIII. If any member's wife comes to
speak to him without the door.

old, he shall be turned out of the club.
IX. If any member calls another a cuck-

X. None shall be admitted into the club that is of the same trade with any member of it.

clothes or shoes made or mended, but by a XI. None of the club shall have his clothes or shoes made or mended, but by a

brother member.

XII. No non-juror shall be capable of being a member.

The morality of this little club is guarded by such wholesome laws and penalties, that I question not but my reader will be as well pleased with them as he would I cannot forbear concluding this paper have been with the Leges Convivales of with a scheme of laws that I met with upon Ben Jonson, the regulations of an old a wall in a 'little alehouse. How I came Roman club, cited by Lipsius, or the rules thither I may inform my reader at a more of a Symposium in an ancient Greek auconvenient time. These laws were enact- thor.

ed by a knot of artisans and mechanics, who used to meet every night; and as

C.

there is something in them which gives us No. 10.] Monday, March 12, 1710-11. a pretty picture of low life, I shall transcribe them word for word.

*This club, which took its name from Christopher Cat, the maker of their mutton-pies, was originally formed in Shire-lane, about the time of the trial of the seven bishops, for a little free evening conversation, but in Queen Anne's reign comprehended above forty noblemen and gentlemen of the first rank, all firm friends to the Hanoverian succession. The verses for their toasting glasses were written by Garth, and the Portraits of all its members painted by Kneller, who was himself one of their number; hence all portraits of the same dimensions are at this time known by the name of Kit Cat. Jacob Tonson, the bookseller, was their secretary, and built a gallery at his house at Barn Elms, for the reception of the pictures, and where the club occasionally held its meetings. From Tonson, this valuable collection has come by inheritance to

Samuel Baker, Esq. of Hertingfordbury, near Hertford.

Of this club, it is said, that Mrs. Woffington, the only woman belonging to it, was president; Richard Estcourt, the comedian, was their provedore, and as an honourable badge of his office, wore a small gridiron of gold hung round his neck with a green silk riband.

Non aliter quam qui adverso vix flumine lembum,
Remigiis subigit: si brachia forte remisit,
Atque illum in præceps prono rapit alveus amni.
Virg. Georg. i. v. 201

So the boat's brawny crew the current stem,
And slow advancing, struggle with the stream:
But if they slack their hands, or cease to strive,
Then down the flood with headlong haste they drive.
Dryden.

IT is with much satisfaction that I hear this great city inquiring day by day after these my papers, and receiving my inorning lectures with a becoming seriousness and attention. My publisher tells me, that there are already three thousand of them distributed every day: so that if I allow twenty readers to every paper, which I look upon as a modest computation, I may reckon about threescore thousand disciples in London and Westminster, who I hope

There is another set of men that I must will take care to distinguish themselves from { the thoughtless herd of their ignorant and likewise lay a claim to, whom I have lately inattentive brethren. Since I have raised called the blanks of society, as being altoto myself so great an audience, I shall spare gether unfurnished with ideas, till the buno pains to make their instruction agree-siness and conversation of the day has supable, and their diversion useful. For which plied them. I have often considered those reasons I shall endeavour to enliven mo- poor souls with an eye of great commiserarality with wit, and to temper wit with tion, when I have heard them asking the morality, that my readers may, if possible, first man they have met with, whether both ways find their account in the specu- there was any news stirring? and by that lation of the day. And to the end that means gathering together materials for their virtue and discretion may not be thinking. These needy persons do not know short, transient, intermitting starts of what to talk of, till about twelve o'clock in thought, I have resolved to refresh their me- the morning; for by that time they are mories from day to day, till I have recover- pretty good judges of the weather, know ed them out of that desperate state of vice which way the wind sits, and whether the and folly into which the age is fallen. The Dutch mail be come in. As they lie at the mind that lies fallow but a single day, mercy of the first man they meet, and are sprouts up in follies that are only to be kill-grave or impertinent all the day long, aced by a constant and assiduous culture. It cording to the notions which they have was said of Socrates, that he brought phi- imbibed in the morning, I would earnestly losophy down from heaven, to inhabit entreat them not to stir out of their chamamong men; and I shall be ambitious to bers till they have read this paper, and do have it said of me that I have brought phi-promise them that I will daily instil into osophy out of closets and libraries, schools, them such sound and wholesome sentiand colleges, to dwell in clubs and assem-ments, as shall have a good effect on their blies, at tea-tables, and in coffee-houses. conversation for the ensuing twelve hours. I would, therefore, in a very particular (But there are none to whom this paper manner, recommend these my speculations to all well-regulated families, that set apart an hour in every morning for tea and bread and butter; and would earnestly advise them, for their good, to order this aper to be punctually served up, and to be 100kcd upon as a part of the tea-equipage.

will be more useful than to the female world. I have often thought there has not been sufficient pains taken in finding out proper employments and diversions for the fair ones.

Their amusements seem contrived for them, rather as they are women, than as they are reasonable creatures; and Sir Francis Bacon observes, that a well- are more adapted to the sex than to the written book, compared with its rivals and species. The toilet is their great scene of antagonists, is like Moses's serpent, that business, and the right adjusting of their immediately swallowed up and devoured hair the principal employment of their those of the Egyptians. I shall not be so lives. The sorting of a suit of ribands is vain as to think, that where the Spectator reckoned a very good morning's work; and appears, the other public prints will vanish; if they make an excursion to a mercer's or but shall leave it to my reader's considera- a toy-shop, so great a fatigue makes them tion, whether it is not much better to be let unfit for any thing else all the day after. into the knowledge of one's self, than to hear Their more serious occupations are sew what passes in Muscovy or Poland; and to ing and embroidery, and their greatest amuse ourselves with such writings as tend drudgery the preparations of jellies and to the wearing out of ignorance, passion, sweetmeats. This, I say, is the state of and prejudice, than such as naturally con-ordinary women; though I know there are duce to inflame hatreds, and make enmi-multitudes of those of a more elevated life ties irreconcilable?

In the next place I would recommend his paper to the daily perusal of those gentlemen whom I cannot but consider as my good brothers and allies, I mean the fraternity of Spectators, who live in the world without having any thing to do in it; and either by the affluence of their fortunes, or laziness of their dispositions, have no other business with the rest of mankind, but to look upon them. Under this class of men are comprehended all contemplative tradesmen, titular physicians, fellows of the royal society, templars that are not given to be contentious, and statesmen that are out of business; in short, every one that considers the world as a theatre, and desires to form a right judgment of those who are the actors on it.

and conversation, that move in an exalted sphere of knowledge and virtue, that join: all the beauties of the mind to the ornaments of dress, and inspire a kind of awe and respect, as well as love, into their male beholders. I hope to increase the number of these by publishing this daily paper, which I shall always endeavour to make an innocent if not an improving entertainment, and by that means at least divert the minds of my female readers from greater trifles. At the same time, as ] would fain give some finishing touches to those which are already the most beautiful pieces in human nature, I shall endeavour to point out all those imperfections that are the blemishes, as well as those virtues which are the embellishments, of the sex. In the meanwhile, I hope these my gen

ție readers, who have so much time on their hands, will not grudge throwing away a quarter of an hour in a day on this paper, since they may do it without any hindrance | to business.

no opportunity, till the larum ceased of it self, which it did not till he had repeated and murdered the celebrated story of the Ephesian matron.

Arietta seemed to regard this piece of

indeed I have always observed that women, whether out of a nicer regard to their honour, or what other reason, I cannot tell, are more sensibly touched with those general aspersions which are cast upon their sex, than men are by what is said of theirs.

I know several of my friends and well-raillery as an outrage done to her sex; as wishers are in great pain for me, lest I should not be able to keep up the spirit of a paper which I oblige myself to furnish every day; but to make them easy in this particular, I will promise them faithfully to give it over as soon as I grow dull. This I know will be a matter of great raillery to the small wits, who will frequently put me in mind of my promise, desire me to keep my word, assure me that it is high time to give over, with many other little pleasantries of the like nature, which men of a little smart genius cannot forbear throwing out against their best friends, when they have such a handle given them of being witty. But let them remember, that I do hereby enter my caveat against this piece of raillery. C.

No. 11.] Tuesday, March 13, 1710-11.
Dat veniam corvis, vexat censura columbas.
Juv. Sat. ii. 63.
The doves are censur'd, while the crows are spar'd.

When she had a little recovered herself from the serious anger she was in, she replied in the following manner.

'Sir, when I consider how perfectly new all you have said on this subject is, and that the story you have given us is not quite two thousand years old, I cannot but think it a piece of presumption to dispute it with you: but your quotations put me in mind of the fable of the lion and the man. The man walking with that noble animal, showed him, in the ostentation of human superiority, a sign of a man killing a lion. Upon which, the lion said, very justly, "We lions are none of us painters, else we could show a hundred men killed by lions, for one lion killed by a man. You men are writers, and can represent us women as unbecoming as you please in your works, while we are unable to return the injury. You have twice or thrice observed in your discourse, that hypocrisy is the very foun

وو

ARIETTA is visited by all persons of both sexes, who have any pretence to wit and gallantry. She is in that time of life which | is neither affected with the follies of youth, or infirmities of age; and her conversa-dation of our education; and that an ability tion is so mixed with gaiety and prudence, to dissemble our affections is a professed that she is agreeable both to the old and part of our breeding. These, and such the young. Her behaviour is very frank, other reflections, are sprinkled up and without being in the least blameable; and down the writings of all ages, by authors, as she is out of the track of any amorous or who leave behind them memorials of their ambitious pursuits of her own, her visitors resentment against the scorn of particular entertain her with accounts of themselves women, in invectives against the whole very freely, whether they concern their sex. Such a writer, I doubt not, was the passions or their interests. I made her a celebrated Petronius, who invented the visit this afternoon, having been formerly pleasant aggravations of the frailty of the introduced to the honour of her acquaint-Ephesian lady; but when we consider this ance by my friend Will Honeycomb, who has prevailed upon her to admit me sometimes into her assembly, as a civil inoffensive man. I found her accompanied with one person only, a common-place talker, who, upon my entrance, arose, and after a very slight civility sat down again; then, turning to Arietta, pursued his discourse, which I found was upon the old topic of constancy in love. He went on with great facility in repeating what he talks every day of his life; and with the ornaments of insignificant laughs and gestures, enforced his arguments by quotations out of plays and songs, which allude to the perjuries of the fair, and the general levity of women. Methought he strove to shine more than ordinarily in his talkative way, that he might insult my silence, and distinguish himself before a woman of Arietta's taste and understanding. She had often an inclination to interrupt him, but could find

question between the sexes, which has been either a point of dispute or raillery ever since there were men and women, let us take facts from plain people, and from such as have not either ambition or capacity to embellish their narrations with any beauties of imagination. I was the other day amusing myself with Lignon's Account of Barbadoes; and in answer to your weilwrought tale, I will give you (as it dwells upon my memory) out of that honest traveller, in his fifty-fifth page, the history of Inkle and Yarico.

'Mr. Thomas Inkle, of London, aged twenty years, embarked in the Downs, in the good ship called the Achilles, bound for the West Indies, on the 16th of June, 1647, in order to improve his fortune by trade and merchandise. Our adventurer was the third son of an eminent citizen, who had taken particular care to instil into his mind an early love of gain, by making

« AnteriorContinuar »